35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

Thank you 79! And sorry you’re going through the issues with your OH! Hope it gets resolved one way or another.

CD16 here and still a “flashey” face! That 6 days of it so far which never happened before! I asked my clinic if I can still ovulate after Endo scratching and she said yes. Hmmm wonder which day then! And how it affect my AF arrival this cycle.

Thanks @79andnotout. Sorry to hear you're having a hard time uth your OH. We went through a phase where I felt like he was treating it like a chore, It was always me who initiated, and he (unintentionally) made me feel like I was making him do something he didn't want to. Him venting his frustrations about feeling the pressure and feeling tired made me feel like crap. I was convinced for a while he just didn't find me attractive any more. We ended up having a really honest chat (started with me breaking down and crying) and both got a better idea of how the other one was feeling. It's hard all round and as much as I tried to understand his POV, I just couldn't get past the fact that not dtd meant a other month wasted. And I am not getting any younger! Anyway wanted to let you know you're not alone! I hope things improve for you.

Thanks @Russkispy, and thanks @ALRM. Sorry to hear you are having issues too, but I know it must be quite common, and we're not alone. We talked about it last night and have arranged more therapy sessions but it just feels like we're completely misaligned on this. He bottles everything up when under pressure and libido is first to fall. I find my emotions peak at ovulation and then I calm down a bit (feeling much calmer today). Think I'm going to give reflexology a go. I think it's all mumbo jumbo but my friend said it's quite relaxing and I love having my feet touched! Thanks very much for sharing, it made me feel much better. I really hope things improve for you too.

@79andnotout @ALRM - I think men can feel under pressure when TTC is not working, but it isn't always about their willingness or your desirability. My DP is a Mr Spontaneity & wasn't always spontaneous at the right moment & trying to engineer that was sometimes tricky. I think there's an element for some men of feeling like they're there to perform a function rather than as a desired sexual partner, which could be a bit of a turn-off!

36 weeks tomorrow. Midwife asked if I've packed bag (er no..). Baby/birth related shopping now being planned almost entirely by me as DP's eyes glaze over if he has to talk about buying nappies, blankets, babygros etc for more than 10 minutes . He has however been doing some thinking about names (we have a kind of shortlist) and made two more very nice suggestions for girl's names.

Hi @Blueberry1 you are absolutely right. I try not to make this about me specifically but my emotions get the better of me. I need to time more holidays with the fertile week, he was keen as mustard then.

Ah, how exciting, week 36! A couple of my friends have gone into labour a few weeks early (fortunately all fine) recently so I would be getting that bag packed sooner rather than later. To be fair to him, I think my eyes would glaze over after ten minutes of nappy and babygro chat too :) Looking forward to hearing the name you call her! Can't believe how fast it has all come around.

@79andnotout I know you've had it hard with the sex thing (excuse the pun) but yes it is an issue for lots of people to some extent and definitely us too!

We've got into such a sexual rut and then DP can't maintain his enthusiasm so to speak. And I panic and get cross because I feel another month passing.

Even tho I am CD54, I've been taking dual hormone ovulation tests to monitor what is happening. Negative all month. Yesterday morning I forgot to read the result and we had to stay away from home unexpectedly. When we got home this morning, I ejected the test and got a flashing smiley. Do you think that is still valid? I didn't have enough pee left for another test (I tried but it didn't work). Will try to take one later but what do you think? I'm due to get my period induced on Tuesday but don't want to do that if there's a chance we have just conceived...chances are slim I know but just in case

@Blueberry1 packing a bag! It's so exciting. Are you on mat leave yet? Xx

Hi @Janefx40 - test for another couple of days and then decide? If your are about to ovulate I would hold off for a bit longer too.

Yeah, it's tough for us all, this TTC lark. Character forming, I guess? Although I was happy enough with my character as it was! It was certainly more optimistic.

Well I can recommend screwing up your body so that it stops having periods. I've not been this relaxed since we starting TTC. Even my acupuncturist noticed something in my pulse!

Another flashing smiley. Looks like this body is waking up

Xxx

That's great Jane! Glad you're relaxed. The flashing smiley is an interesting state of affairs.

Oh, and if anyone else is light on the cervical mucus front, I've been giving the drinking of grapefruit juice a go, as seen on another thread. It has really worked for me. I got loads of EWCM on the couple of months I tried it, and back to the usual minuscule amounts on the months I've skipped it. No idea why. I couldn't find any research papers mentioning it.

CD17 and still flashey face today. That’s 7 days in a row. Wonder if it’s the same tomorrow. I read that after 9 days of flashey face I should stop testing. Would AF still come at supposed time? I bloody hope so! Got IUI scheduled end of this month. I hate the unknown!

@Russkispy I'm afraid I don't know how to interpret continual flashing smileys I'm afraid. Frustrating for you.

@79andnotout interesting. How much grapefruit juice did you drink?

X

No idea @russkispy, sorry.

Jane, about 200mls each day for about a week before ovulation. Sometimes fresh, sometimes just a carton of Tropicana. Reminded me that I love grapefruit juice!

No worries but thanks anyway! Bashed my DH’s ears about late ovulation. Told me to relax! Haha joker! And breathe...... 😉😉
I also heard about grapefruit juice! And apparently a pomegranate juice is good for men’s swimmers. My DH has been drinking it since before our first IUI in 2016.

Interesting article on ovarian reserve & fertility: edition-m.cnn.com/2017/10/10/health/fertility-tests-eggs-study/index.html

Finally got a solid face in CD19-CD20! Now I wonder if AF shows up late because of late ovulation!?

@Russkispy - luteal phase doesn't usually change by more than +/- one day, so if you ovulate late, AF likely to be late. Before I was tracking my cycle properly, I thought I was 5 days late & must be pregnant, but I got BFN as had just ovulated late!

Now 36 weeks and in penultimate week at work. Obstetrician appointment and growth scan on Thursday. Feeling the extra weight a lot; lots of little aches & pains .

Just wondered if I could ask you knowledgable ladies a question. Af is due next Tuesday-Fridayish (the exact length of cycle can vary by up to about 4 days) but this afternoon I’ve had some spotting/what could be the start of af. It’s unprecidented to get it arrive this early and if I get spotting in the run up to af it’s most usually less than I’ve had this afternoon and more brownish. Is this just a random body this or does this time with potential pg thing? I don’t know what to make of it!

@YuleABUnREASTIEable - as with most things TTC, it could mean anything. I get spotting which is under investigation but most likely a hormonal imbalance, probably due to advanced years. And yet for some on this forum it means pregnancy, others it means your period is more imminent than you think and you've had a weird cycle.
I paid no attention to mine until I noticed it happened around the same time every month.
Hope it means good things for you though!

Thank you, it’s freaked me out a bit as it’s never happened before so early, maybe it’s just a super freak never happen again coincidence. I might get a tiny bit of spotting in the week before af but this much (like the start of a period) a week early is weird. It would mean my cycle would be less than 3 weeks!

Well, the bleeding/spotting stopped as quickly as it started but had a bit of normal pre af spotting today so wondering if it’s just that.

What was the conclusion @YuleABUnREASTIEable? Was it just early AF?

Sorry, was just coming back to update! AF started today :( it’s just over 3 weeks since last AF now so still a lot earlier than normal. I’m assuming it’s af as it feels like it is iykwim. Dh and I are having to give ttc a break until later I’m the summer as going by previous experience I’ll be suffering with extreme sickness and it’s not fair to dd to be in the worst of it when she’s on summer holidays and I’m bedbound for weeks on end. I partly feel like we should continue anyway shoukd it not work over the summer but if it did I wouldn’t be a fit state to parent dd, it’s difficult. I’ll be back!!

How is everyone? @Janefx40 did your period arrive in the end? What's next for IVF world? How are you finding private vs NHS?

@Blueberry1 are you on mat leave now? Or close to? How are you feeling? Rotund?! :)

@Russkispy - did AF show up? Or are you in the TWW still?

@YuleABUnREASTIEable - are you sure you'd be as sick again? Is that how it works? I don't know as I just got low level nausea that went away at 12 weeks & was managed with salt & vinegar crisps & lemon and ginger tea .

@79andnotout - am in my last 3 days before maternity leave starts next week. 38 weeks on Saturday!! I am large & often uncomfortable, but still active (walking, gentle gym/yoga & swimming).

I start acupuncture tomorrow & midwife sweeps next week to encourage labour to start naturally & hopefully avoid induction, which is scheduled for 4th May (day before due date). Oh the joys of being an #oldermum ... (NB: the not going over 40 weeks is one of the few genuinely age related risks; other older mum risks are actually health status linked so don't apply to me!).

DP & I will put together cot & changing table this weekend. We've (well me as DP has no patience for shopping, even for himself....) bought everything we need for first 2 weeks except nappy bin. Looking forward to being at home & having time to clean/organise the house .

@blueberry1 glad to hear all is going well with you fx for a smooth labor and birth.

Things not too good here, I'll be joining you ladies back here ttc as looks as though had a miscarriage last week at 6 weeks loss of symptoms heavy bleeding with clots and cramps (sorry for the tmi) but as no scan to confirm just got to wait to take test to get a negative if not negative three weeks from start of bleeding then need to contact epu as they need to check what is going on. Gp is checking me out bloods etc for high BP (was high when I saw the mw for booking appointment a few days before and have history and family history of high BP Inc mum when pg with me and db) as that may have been a factor so may need to get that sorted for next time though probably just unlucky.
Didn't help having horrible head cold which started a couple of days before bleeding still got cough at least bleeding seems to have stopped (I think).