35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

I love my acupuncture! I get to talk about life with my acupuncturist, too, it's good to get things off my chest and feel a bit better generally too!

@SoozC 36 is not old at all! I ran my 1st marathon 4 months before I turned 40....

@melamine congrats on BFP . GP doesn't do almost anything when you make an appointment about being pregnant. Mine just put me on flu jab list & told me to self refer to local hospital (online form) and expect midwife booking in appointment at around 8 weeks.

@79notout - sorry test results not brilliant, but identifying problems is first step to solving them. My AMH was 6.5 & IVF worked first cycle (2nd embryo transfer).

And I'd 2nd what @janefx40 said; I also didn't find IVF that gruelling. I didn't have problems injecting myself or get bad side effects from drugs. The worst bit is egg retrieval as you feel quite rough/delicate for a few days afterwards. I also did only natural cycle frozen embryo transfer which is low impact (you just take progesterone pessaries). But I do know that other women have a worse time so I may have been lucky.

Got freaked out today and convinced myself baby wasn't moving as much as normal. Not helped by reading that I really shouldn't have used anti inflammatory gel on my nose (tip of which is very red & a bit swollen; I look like Rudolph !). So I went to hospital and they checked me out & all was fine. However doctor told me I should have already been given appointments for scans every 3 weeks from now due to my age, but I hadn't and I didn't know about it .

Hey @Blueberry, good to hear from you, and that all is well! Yeah I have a friend in her forties who is pregnant and gets loads of extra scans. Quite reassuring. And thanks for the reassurance on the AMH.

I'm feeling pretty positive today. I'm going to use this news as motivation to get my healthy eating and exercise regime back on track as it died a death over christmas and january as I was ill/too busy stuffing myself with chocolate. My body fat has crept up which is bad for hormones apparently, so good to nip that in the bud. And just in time for spring. I'm not panicking about anything, there are always options, so after a day of feeling miserable I am back on track with the PMA.

Not tried acupuncture but having someone professional paid to listen to you for an hour or so is always well worth it! A friend of mine swears by reflexology, which sounds more appealing. My OH will never give me a foot rub (that's what it is, yeah? :))

Well the acupuncture was interesting, my therapist thinks I have blood deficiency so I had treatment to my wrists and lower legs/feet and I’ve been advised to take extra iron. I did feel a bit more relaxed and sleepy in the evening afterwards but nothing else, going back for another session next week.

I also saw my GP who has given me blood forms for day 21 progesterone plus a whole raft of other tests for anaemia, thyroid, vitamin levels etc. OH has to see her himself to arrange SA and once she’s got the results of those she’ll decide what next to do.

Feel positive that things are happening and that at least now I can focus on actually doing something. I have cut out caffeine completely as of three days ago (was a total diet coke addict) and am keeping going with the exercise. If I don’t get pregnant at least I’ll be in the healthiest/fittest state of my life after a few more months of this!

Ah good work @Darkstar4855 what amazing progress. Sounds like your GP has taken you seriously which is great. Acupuncture can be really good I think. I like my acupuncturist much more than I like acupuncture itself!

Go @Darkstar4855! Getting fit is a good idea anyway & a good idea before you get pregnant. Glad GP is doing full gamet of tests on you & OH.

I did accupuncture before & after 2nd embryo transfer as there is some (inconclusive) evidence that it increases IVF success rates. I wanted to do something different & it was never going to do any harm!

@79andnotout - am a tad skeptical about PMA. Of course if you're really down you won't be in right mood or have energy for TTC, and feeling positive can motivate you to do things that could help. I guess it reminds me of thoughtless people who say to those having trouble to conceive things like "just relax and it will happen" or "you won't get pregnant if you're so stressed"; if it were that simple there'd be no fertility clinics!

I'm with you @darkstar got the forms for the blood tests. Also getting to do more exercise to be fitter and healthier. Glad you got on OK with the acupuncture. If its not something I had considered before but if we get no issues come up may consider it myself.
You can get caffeine free diet coke as that is what I drink though have cut down over the last few years anyway. Also drink decaf tea round the Yorkshire tea my favourite as doesn't taste any different to normal tea.

Only thing is the GP wanted progesterone levels on day 21 even though my cycle is 30 days and according to opks I ovulated CD16 so will only be 5dpo on day 21. I’m wondering whether to get them done a day or two later as I’m worried I’ll get a falsely low reading otherwise. Usually start getting sore boobs about 7-8dpo so I’m guessing that’s when my progesterone is getting high?

Hit post too soon! Meant to say does anyone else have a longer cycle and if so what day did you have progesterone levels done?

@darkstar my gp told me to get done 7 days before next period which is actually day 19 as I have 26 day cycles. She did work it out and told me day 19 in my case.

Hey @Blueberry1, yeah totally agree PMA doesn't change the outcome of any TTC efforts, but I use it just to make peace with all eventualities - making sure my life doesn't fall apart if it doesn't work out. I made a big effort a couple of years ago to embrace my inner Pollyanna and try to see the positive in whatever life throws at me and I found myself significantly happier and in a better place. I've let that slip a bit recently though.

Sounds like lots of us are having tests around the same time. Will be interesting to compare results. I hope they all go well for you guys.

I did a really full on kettle bell class on saturday morning and could barely get out of bed this morning, but I am also back on the exercise wagon. I'm going to take up fell racing this summer, to get beaten by a load of super fit old goats. They are very inspirational! I would love to be that fit in my retirement years.

Well bloods all came back normal apart from slightly low progesterone at 26. I’m not too worried about this as the sample was done a day earlier than I think it should’ve been based on my cycle and also it’s not low enough to suggest anovulation and can always be supplemented if need be.

Next step is getting OH to see GP to sort out getting SA done, fingers crossed that’ll be ok too.

Hope you’re all doing ok

@darkstar glad to hear you got on OK with your bloods.
I went yesterday for progesterone bloods but gp said not to call for results until I have the day 2-7 bloods taken so she can look at them all together so that will be end of next week assuming af comes on time.

Hope everyone is doing OK x

Haven’t had those yet, not sure if the GP is planning to do them or not. I’m aiming to go with OH when he goes to get the forms for SA so I’ll ask then.

Hello ladies, haven’t posted here for a while as it wasn’t much to report really.
AF (Aunt Flo - menstruation/period) got me today. Been spotting for a couple of days which made this cycle extremely short, only 25 days. Never had that before. We did DTD (do the deed) according to smep and used digital OPK. Oh well. Flying home next week and booked for hysteroscopy and endometrium scratch. Gearing up for IUI (intrauterine insemination) in April. Dr is positive as ever so I trust her. Kind of think it might not happen naturally for us unless we spend more time trying but I’ll be 42 in april and just want to get on with it even if it means IUI and possible IVF. Hopefully won’t come to IVF
In the meantime I’ve got my LO (little one) here and she’s still small and needs me. Our time for #2 will come! And so will yours! Stay positive. Hard , I know, but we have. Congratulations on BFPs and sorry about BFNs. Sending hugs 🤗

Hi all. Feeling a bit down at the moment. I can't help worrying about my short luteal phase. I seem to ovulate on day 21 of 30 day cycle according to previous charts.
I've been taking supplements to try and lengthen my LP but now I'm on cycle day 16 and just got my 6th flashing smiley on the clear blue ovulation sticks. Guess the b6 and maca & vitamin C haven't worked so far! I did mention this to my G.P but she said to "come back in 6 months". Am now having some irregular bleeding and I'll be 36 in October...

(Content warning ⚠️ TMI) When I say abnormal bleeding I mean once some light bleeding after DTD the other day and some spotting for two days before my period starts.

@Russkispy - sorry no BFP for you this month. Cycle getting shorter is common as we get older. Historically I had a long cycle (30-31 days), but while we were TTC just before I was 41, I got a 24 day cycle & was shocked. Fertility clinic said it wasn't anything to be concerned about.

Re IVF, 42 is usually last age at which reputable clinics will allow you to use own eggs, although sometimes if you're older & ovarian reserve is OK, they'll do one egg retrieval & see how quality is. Average chance of success goes down from 20% at 41/42 to 5% at 43.

I had scan on Monday & our baby is at average weight of 31-32 weeks (1.64kg/3lb9oz), but am only 29 weeks ! Sonographer said there is no health concern for me or baby & it might even out over next 10 weeks. I have become quite anxious since then; I keep having dreams in which I think I've forgotten to do something . I'm going to call midwife today as I need more information. I don't want a huge baby just a normal sized healthy one!

However good news from my family; my sister in law (turned 40 in December) gave birth to their 2nd child on Monday morning. My new niece is fine & healthy and her little brother (aged 2) seems pleased with her (when I skyped them last night he shouted "we got a baby" & pointed at her .)

Hi everyone hope your all ok. On a bit of a downer this week, it’s FW and had some bother with bleeding after Penetration and other half is struggling to rise to the occasion (sorry TMI). Feel so bad for him. This has never happened before and he normally loves this time of month and keeps me motivated but doesn’t seem to be happening. 😔 going to the doc tomorrow about the bleeding so see what happens. Another BFP at work, shocker she wasn’t even trying 🙄 this just infertility is just a bitch! Good luck to you all this month tho xox

@Sunshine19 I had the same issue after DTD the night before last :( Hugs to you if wanted! Hope all goes well at the G.P. X

@BeachYogi thanks Has it been going on for long? I had spotting too on day before my Jan period. But No spotting last period. And for some reason the bleed was there last nite. It has happened before but sorted itself out? I have a shorter cycle now too. Think since MC my cycles are a riot and I’m 37 so doubt that helps. Hugs to you too! It’s not easy is it? Hopefully GP will tell me all ok and get a grip! Xox

@Sunshine19 It's only happened to me once after DTD in recent years (I did have some bleeding after sex several years ago though because of precancerous cells). The spotting is fairly new but I only came off the contraceptive pill in August so I thought it might be linked to my cycles being off/settling. I think because of my issues with abnormal cells in the past (I had CIN3) I panic about any abnormal bleeding. It's probably nothing but I'll go to the g.p as I want to talk to her about my ridiculously short luteal phase anyway. 😔 x

Hi all,
Been a little quiet this week, trying not to poas too soon. I know I should wait until 14dpo, will I last, I doubt it!
I’ve been to the clinic and we’ve decided to start IVF in June if no BFP before then. She was worried about premature menopause and running out of eggs. If I think about it too much i’ll become very selfish thinking why me, why do other people have an easy time ttc? Again not a helpful thought.
Started acupuncture too - probably sleeping better.
I know I’m not the only one struggling at the moment and I sending big virtual hugs to you all.
Hope you got good news from the midwife today @Blueberry1 I’m sure it’ll be fine. X

@Cobby81 - I think everyone who doesn't conceive easily feels that way towards people who do . But be aware that some people may have had problems you don't know about. I have a friend who got pregnant on her honeymoon despite being 38 with a health condition that makes conception more difficult. She told me later they'd stopped using contraception almost a year before, so it hadn't happened as easily as it first appeared. Good luck in holding out til DPO14!!

I spoke to midwife on Thursday & have appointment next week. Without seeing scan details (they're in my patient folder), she could only say baby is within normal weight range, this isn't unusual, it can even out, and it's nothing to worry about. I mentioned the extra scans and she said in my case they aren't necessary. So it seems to be another one of these "older mother" measures that's related to health status (mine is very good!) more than age.

Arrange AF seems to have arrived 2 days early not sure what is going on as haven't had the usual cramps just some minor twinges "- convinced may have been a symptom -" obviously just the witch preparing her early arrival, so completely unexpected. Had my 7 days before af bloods done last Monday so not sure if that will now be right either!