35+ TTC #1 thread 2!

[SoozC]

We maxed out our last thread, so I've started another one for us!

Welcome, all those over 35 who are ttc number 1! Whether you're just starting out or you're an old-timer, come and chat with others who know what it's like to feel as though time is not on your side. When you feel like all your friends and family your age already have children and you need someone to moan to, we are here!

Failed Stoke through attempt there too sorry

@blondcat I checked the local fertility clinic referral guidelines and they want progesterone levels done 6-7 days before a period so you might still be ok, if not it can be redone next cycle. Sorry to hear AF has come. Mine is due in 2/7, have had loads of cramps so pretty sure it’s a BFN here too x

AF arrived today, which means I only had a 6 day luteal phase this month. Am upset that the witch has arrived even earlier than usual & guessing this is a bad sign for my fertility.

Maybe the b6 and maca made things worse? Urgh.

Hi all hope everyone is well.

I called the gp surgery today to get my results from the day 21 bloods and the day 2-7 bloods. The receptionist was not particularly helpful just said progesterone was normal so I pressed for actual reading she said it was 29.1 so does seem OK to Dr Google. Then the others were satisfactory so she said estradiol was 202 and tsh 1.44 so again Dr google seems to suggest these are ok then she was confused about the lh so didn't know but the gp hadn't put a note so she didn't know. Sigh... I am now waiting for a doctor to call me later this week to discuss and hopefully get a clearer understanding of them. I guess dh will need to book his appointment for sa but just want to check there is nothing more for me to do first.

Hello All
@blondcat the results seem promising so far good luck with the rest
@beachyogi my AF arrived last week too. A few tears again.

So it’s FW again, going with the every other day plan.

Until ttc I have never been on mumsnet. I was getting disheartened looking at the conception threads either jealous of other people’s BFP or thinking why is this so difficult for so many people. Why should I be the special one to get a BFP.
I stumbled across some threads in the AIBU section which are serving as a great distraction but yet feeding my addiction to Mumsnet. The one on never married or had children has been interesting.
Hoping we all get our BFP this month. X

@blondcat Glad your results are ok so far.

@cobby81 I know the feeling, I have banned myself from the conception forum this month as it just encourages me to obsess about ttc, the only exception is this thread when I get a notification that someone has posted! Trying to think a bit more positively and focus on other things.

Trying to get my partner’s SA sorted this month but it’s been a bit of a nightmare: our local hospital doesn’t do them so we have to travel, it’s a good hour+ journey each way so he can only go if he’s got a day off work. I rang to book the appointment, took ages to get through and then they wouldn’t let me do it, then he rang and managed to book one smack in the middle of FW! So now he’s got to ring them AGAIN to change it, oh dear! But I’m grateful that he’s as committed as I am and hasn’t complained once about the hassle. Fingers crossed it’ll be good news.

Good luck to everyone else in FW/2ww, fingers crossed for more BFPs. Hope all going well for you @melamine and @Flev too x

@Darkstar4855 - Good luck getting SA sorted. When we did it, DP preferred to do at home then take to clinic, but had to book a date/time slot, which was a bit stressful as time window quite short .

@blondcat - glad bloods OK so far. My advice is write down questions you have for GP. I always find I forget questions I mean to ask if I don't do that!

@cobby81 - am liking the every other day in FW plan. I have a number of friends who got pregnant for 1st time over 35, so your number may come up soon .

I'm now 31 weeks (9 weeks to go!!) and now weigh more than DP (he's quite tall but slim). Also found I can't epilate bikini line as can't bloody see it over bump! Went for a bikini wax and found pregnancy makes it more painful than normal !!

Have first appointment with obstetrician later this week. As my due date was brought forward at 12 week scan (from 10/11 May from IVF clinic to 5 May), am worried this means am more likely to be "overdue" and need induction, which I'd prefer not to have as haven't heard any good experiences of it. Will prepare questions in advance...

@Blueberry1 31 weeks! It may seem slow to you but it seems to have zoomed by to me. It's wonderful to hear your progress. I hope you can avoid being overdue - how can they have adjusted your due date tho because surely with FET they know exact dates?

I'm just in between IVF rounds. Waiting for NHS to sign off my funding. May end up missing the next opportunity as my cycles are quite short at the moment.

@Blondcat numbers look good which is reassuring.

@Darkstar4855 Good luck with SA. Mine did it in the clinic both times. He said it was a bit weird but he was confident he could manage and he did.

@Cobby81 @BeachYogi Sorry about AF. It never gets any better. I'm approaching mine and even tho I now know I can't conceive naturally, I'm still doing all the usual symptom spotting!

X

Hi everyone,

glad your results look good, @Blondcat. Very promising.

Sorry for the AF's for the others.

Great to hear everything is progressing, @Blueberry, and hope you don't have to be induced. Not heard anything good in that department from my friends either. Sounds like your pregnancy has been quite textbook so far though, so fingers crossed for a straightforward labour. Exciting!

I've got my abdominal scan tomorrow. Not sure what else they are doing. I'm hoping for some day 3 and 21 blood tests but nothing has been mentioned.

Does anyone know how much a self funded IVF is roughly? It's difficult to tell from the published list prices as there seem to be lots of additional costs on top of the IVF itself. I'm guessing around 10k at a minimum? I have low AMH (8ish) so would assume that would also complicate things. I'm in the north west but from london, so have both options, if london was better for older or more complicated cases. I think I could only afford one go so would want to make the best of it.

@janefx40 - Indeed I know exactly when 5 day embryo was transferred, but midwives aren't involved with or familiar with IVF (although hospital does offer it) so ignore it & just calculate EDD based on 1st day of last AF. I suppose as I did natural cycle FET that's not totally irrelevant. But current EDD is based on 12 week scan not cycle. Will ask obstetrician (appointment on Thurs) for more explanation.

Great that you can have IVF round on NHS; we wouldn't have qualified as our CCG requires you to have been trying for 2 years and complete cycle while woman is still 41 & I would have turned 42 by time 2 years was up. Couldn't lie about 2 years due to pill prescriptions (boo!).

@79andnotout - the cost of 1 cycle of IVF (everything included) varies from £6k to over £10k. £10k is definitely enough ie it might be less, but you shouldn't need to pay more. It's difficult to predict costs exactly because there are many variables eg m ISCI is more expensive, pre implantation genetic screening will add £2.5k upwards & cost of medication also varies depending on drug used, protocol & how you respond. My stimulation meds had to have dosage increased & continue for 4 days longer than foreseen so this added about £800 (!) as Gonal F is horribly expensive.

Some clinics offer all-in packages to pay for 2-3 cycles up-front, some even with refund if you're not successful. We did this via a company called Access finance which works with various clinics as it was only way to afford 2 cycles (it would have saved £4k). It covered everything except meds. In the end we didn't need 2 cycles, so overpaid a bit, but that's how the business is viable.

I don't think there's any need to go to London to find a suitable clinic. And with all the to-ing & fro-ing for different appointments, you don't want a long journey too. There is no right answer or perfect clinic; you need to find what suits you and what you feel comfortable with.

I went to Care as someone I knew had several friends with positive experiences although in Sheffield & Manchester and I was in London. I was reassured by the personalised service & attention to detail; adjustments were constantly made. I felt like the clinic was doing everything to optimise our chances without making any false promises.

Thanks for the info @Blueberry1! I know someone who went to care in manchester too, actually. It didn't work but they didn't have any issues with them.

The scan today went well, all looks tip top. Looks like hormone imbalance is the culprit for the mid cycle bleeding, so waiting for my doctor to book me in for some blood tests. I'm relieved there is nothing nasty lurking up there anyway!

Dr called today and said lh is 2.1 and fsh is 5.2 so she was happy with all my results said hard as it seems just keep trying nothing to worry her on my side. She also said that we wouldn't be referred until it was a year of trying and at the point of referral any results needed to be within 3 months so she thought dh may like to wait until nearer the year before organising a sa otherwise he would have to do again. I think I will tell him and let him decide if he wants to do now and possibly again in a few months.
Feeling more positive but that may be because I am in fw

@darkstar hope sa is positive news.

@79andnotout glad your scan went well.

That's great news @Blondcat!

Great news @blondcat. Maybe you've just been unlucky so far? I wonder that about us as IVF revealed that the quality of our "source materials" was rather good (according to embryologists). TTC can be stressful! Now you know there's nothing wrong, at least you have one less thing to worry about.

As for me, my first obstetrician appointment was not overly positive. As baby is still large (90th percentile!) and in fact "a bit big for your height and ethnicity" , gestational diabetes is suspected. Midwife did blood & urine tests at 28 weeks for GD & nothing was found, so either it's borderline or it developed since then (which apparently is possible). I have tests in hospital next week and in meantime, I've looked up dietary advice for GD & adapted my diet accordingly.

If baby is very large (over 4.5kg/10lb), then I will be offered election caesarean. If baby is normal size/just a bit big, then I can still go to birth centre, although they will still advise induction at 39+6 assuming no other problems. They say due date from 12 week scan is what they'll stick to (5 days earlier than calculations using IVF dates...).

Was a bit upset by all this as just want everything to be straightforward. DP wasn't very sympathetic as to his mind, none of these developments are dangerous (it's true; everything can be managed) and baby is healthy as per scans etc and "you're in your 40s, not your 20s". He is also not the one that may have to give birth to large baby/be induced/have c-section etc...

@blueberry1 sorry to hear it is not all positive but at least you are being monitored. My friend was told she had a large baby but she ended up having normal delivery and her ds2 was a bit larger than ds1 but still not over 10lb I think he was 9lb 7or8 so fingers crossed for you.

Thanks @blondcat. I'll just have to see how things develop. Apparently weight calculations from scans aren't that accurate (they can easily be +/-200g). A friend gave birth last week and her baby was a bit on the large side (3.8kg/8lb4) but I don't think she'd been told to expect that.

@Blueberry1 ah sorry about the stress. Yes it's good that it can all be managed but as you say, it would have been good if it was straight forward. Are you able to decide nearer the time about the c-section etc? Maybe it will be clearer by then if the baby is large or not?

Xxx

Hi @Janefx40 - I will get a growth scan in week 36, so I think no decisions needed before then. If baby not too big (clearly not going to be small) and no problems with me or baby, then I can go ahead with natural childbirth in birth centre. Induction advice won't change. Do you have any movement re NHS IVF?

I see - well I hope things settle down a bit.
Yes I got an email as I landed in Chicago for our holiday. Funding approved and first appt on 19th March. NHS speedier than my private clinic!

That means the team submitted my funding application on Monday and it was rubber stamped by Friday. Incredible.

Am really pleased as it means we can have an appt well in advance of cycle and if I don't like what they are offering there will still be time to switch back to ARGC.

Xxx

@janefx40 - great news re NHS IVF. Fingers crossed it goes well .

As for me, I did gestational diabetes blood tests on Friday and should get results by Tuesday. In the meantime, I've cut out refined sugar and fruit juice, cut down carbs, increased green veg & switched to low sugar fruit eg grapefruit, kiwi etc. This can't do any harm even if I don't have GD and if fact my energy levels feel more balanced since I made these changes.

Hi @Blueberry1 good luck for tests on Friday! I've been doing the same diet (well I was preholiday and will start again post birthday on Tuesday). It feels great cutting out sugar (aside from the headache!)

Xxx

Not sure if I can join? I’m over 35 but already have a dd (7). This would be pg 3 as I had a mc first time around. I had a horrible pg and I’ve always told dh I’d like another but can’t go through pg again, we even thought about adopting or surrogates. I’m so scared to a BFP but I know I’ll have to go through pg to get the baby at the end. Currently on 2ww and so anxious, I’m examining every symptom and I’m not sure I feel I’m making things up or if they’re really there! I darent tell dh all these things that I can’t work out if they are just pmt or my imagination as I don’t want him to get his hopes up.

Blueberry dd measured very big and so I was sent for growth scans for the last 2 months of my pg every couple of weeks or so to keep an eye. With 2 months to go according to the scan she was 8 lbs 13 oz! She ended out being born at 40+5 at 8 lbs 13, so it shows how they can get sizing wrong with scans. I’ve heard that a lot with other people too.

Hi @YuleABUnREASTIEable thanks for the info. I heard growth scans not always that accurate (someone told me +/- 200g), but even taking that into account, baby likely to be larger than average. As I'm over 40, hospital will want to induce at 39+6 if nothing is happening, so at least baby wouldn't get to grow bigger by being overdue.

Sorry to hear you had a really tough pregnancy 1st time around. Would 2nd be as awful? They say every pregnancy is different, so perhaps not? Could find someone to speak with (an obstetrician or midwife) who could answer your concerns?

Re your current situation, we've all been there with symptom spotting . I know some women say they knew as soon as they were pregnant, but I didn't. I'd had several false alarms (TTC naturally) when I was sure of BFP but wrong, then when I fell pregnant (via IVF) I was sure I wasn't and did test to stop stressing & got a big shock!! Pharmacist did once advise me not to test until DPO14 as Hcg levels can be too low to detect beforehand, so false negative is possible.

This thread was started for women 35+ trying for their 1st child. There is however 1 person who joined thread before conceiving 1st child who is now trying for 2nd who has posted a few times recently.

Do you mind me joining then?

I was induced at 40 weeks because dd was measuring big and I had suspected GD. Long story but she was eventually born 5 days after induction started via c section, it was a long process! You might get more scans of your LO because of it which although isn’t ideal to have the issue with the question of size it is nice to see your baby a few sneaky extra times

I visited my GP recently to discuss my concerns and we have a plan in place to help me cope but chances are I still won’t cope iykwim, I’ll just have to get through it. Chances are very high this one will have the same issues. When I was pg before I got first symptoms 9 days before AF was due so I’m on red alert! I didn’t realise it was pg symptoms at the time as I didn’t know they could start that early but apparently I found out after I discovered that was the cause that they can. As well as physical issues during pg I also had quite servere pg anxiety and depression (didn’t realise this was a thing until afterwards either) and it took me years to recover afterwards so I’m desperate to have another LO (or I wouldn’t be willing to go through it again!) but it is with nervousness during the 2 ww I anticipate what the result is.