Hut of Gl/Doom, part IV - FTC, because that's what we do....

[duchesse]

Et voila.

This Hut is more of a Bedouin or desert tent than anything too gloomy. We shall supply our our own gloom.

May be a bit obsessed with David Tennant as I think tenant is spelt 'tenant' and not 'tennant'.

Holy Moley Mother Of God?

I sort of go for the Tennant and then I see again how skinny he is and how odd those teeth are and I realise that there is only one man for me. Sigh. I might just have a little snooze and fantasise for a bit.....

Hi all. Thing there may be something in this Hut syncing notion - I am CD 5 today - and still feeling pants.

Am slowly becoming reconciled to the idea that IVF is going to be necessary due to my rubbish ovarian reserve and rapidly approaching early menopause and I am absoultely petrified of getting on that particular rollercoaster. Think I will be residing in the hut for a bit if thats OK.

Soreheart - HMMOG - Holy Mary Mother of God??! maybe? I too have been trying for 18 months (try to kid myself that it has only been a year cos thats when I started paying atention but facing facts I came off the pill with the intention of TTC in Aug 05 - so 18months it is!!) I joined the monthly TTC threads for Jan and Feb but havent been able to bring myself to join March or April as I have become a cynical old bint!! I am on the temp buddies thread though and they are all lovely.

Impatience - I have totally avoided my BF who is 9 weeks pg - cant even bring myself to call her at the mo- I know if I was able to be all happy and fake with her I would come home and be so upset and angry and if I wasn't and showed my true feelings I would feel really guilty for being mean - lose lose situation - so am avoiding altogether! My advice - cancel dinner date!!!

LOL beansprout at Holy Moley - very Batman!!

Duchesse, Soreheart, thanks for the diplomacy advice. Surely by now you've realised that such gentleness isn't my usual way, and friend will definately know it to be a line, but never mind!

My uncle works cash in hand and lives with his girlfriend, but claims all the benefits going AND has a council/HA flat (not sure) that he uses for storage . On top of that he's just somehow managed to wrangle a swap to a bigger flat which could house a small family. He's also requested the council spend loads of money putting in a new kitchen because it has a really old one. If he never stays there I might feel duty bound to rat on him. Frankly I don't give a damn whether he knows it's me who ratted on him, I think his behaviour is disgusting. There are so many people who really need a place.

And when my Nan was starting to lose her marbles he had the cheek to complain how outrageous it was that social services etc didn't have more resources with which to help her with. WTF?!

If I've trodden on anyone's toes with this post, well, I'd like to apologise but on this I find my tolerance stretched. And I feel the same for the richer end of society sneaking out of taxes: It's exactly the same.

Straw poll: Should I rat on him?

I seem to be in synch too. Freaky.

Impy - maybe you should dicuss your uncle at the dinner party. I think it might distract the conversation a little.

So - I've just had a splendid few days. Worst PMT in months, spotting and feeling overly hopeful... followed by the mother of all bleeds. But wait, there's more. My BF giddily announced she is 6 weeks pg (while training for the marathon) - "Oh my god that's wonderful" I say "so delighted for you" I exclaim - I have cried me a river and fallen out with dh. Fan-bloody-tastic.

Impatience - I feel for you. Dh's ex (mum of his dd) claimed benefit for years on the basis that he wasn't giving them a penny when he was more than paying his whack. The result? He is paying thousands to the CSA who have now "caught up with him" and who are under the impression that he owes them, big time. He won't grass up his ex as he is scared of the effect this might have on his dd.

They still live in a huge garden flat in a nice part of London, while we, um, do not.

I have had to learn to ignore the whole situation, but it has not been easy, especially when I get sneering comments from her about going off to work and leaving ds (so we can afford to keep up the mortgage payments AND pay the CSA!!!)

Sunshine - so sorry to hear that. I had a similar falling out when the person I sat next at work fell preg. I was saying that I didn't think I could face the next few months watching and hearing about her preg and dh just said, "it's not about you!". They have no idea sometimes.

It's not that I'm not really happy for her - I actually talked her in to starting ttc as it is taking me so long, but I am also deeply jealous. It is a horrid emotion - but there all the same.

I went to see her again today too her a book, mag and a little toy I had secretly been stashing away for (well, you can guess who for)

Sunshine and Seaside, it's horrid isn't it? I'd like to feel happy for her. She is lovely (homophobic husband and various parenting issues aside, oh and empathic incompetence) so my friend really doesn't deserve such resentment from me. (Sunshine, will your friend still do the marathon?)

Poor Sunshine, that sounds like a horrible time.

Good idea to use my cheating uncle as a diversion at the dinner party! I wonder how many times I can mention him?

Beansprout . Thieving bitch. I can't believe you're now being asked for more. Completely understand how your dh would be scared of rocking the boat. What a shit situation.

She does plan to still run it (though she has an injury so that might prohibit). She says if she looses it it's Ok as she knows she can conceive quickly. So that is just fine. Just splendid.
Guess compassion isn't one of her strongest attributes.

Sunshine - sorry, but that's a really odd attitude for her to have. How strange.

I have just ordered a bbt thermometer. I think I know the basics - chart and then your temp goes up after you have ovulated - is that right? Does it do anything at the end of the month i.e. will it let me know if my period is on its way?
I know I could spend hours googling this, (and I will), but a few handy hints from my fellow gloomsters would be appreciated.

Oh and Sunshine - please tell her from me, that we barely tried to conceive ds, but look at us now..... (she said, bitterly).

I don't really fell I can say anything as I have never got past 28days before getting an af. (who ever decided a period should be called af???)

Temperatures in a nutshell: Only use one decimal place. Take it pretty much same time each morning before you get up (pref jsut as you wake)
Temps can be high while you are bleeding - so I wait for til towards end. They are then (on a ave) low. IF you are lucky you'll get a markered drop of around .3 C (Shag like mad) then a significant rise. Eg mine are about 36.3 pre ov then 3.8 after.
IF you're up the duff the temps stay high if not they drop a day or so before af starts.
Repeat ad infinitum.

Make sense?

Clearly my crap typing is not just a PMT symptom.

Sunshine at your friend. How blase.

Beansprout, that's about the whatever of it. Temp supposedly goes up the day after ovulation, but mine (when I used to do the LH sticks reliably) would go up about 4 days after my LH surge, so perhaps the day after rule isn't hard and fast. Many people find their temp drops the day of their period, and might start to drop the day before. I would get both, and it also confirmed to me that that was actually my period and that I was not pregnant.

I don't think women have any idea about problem ttc unless they suffer it.
I really wouldn't wish it on anyone.

yep

Good luck with your dinner Impatience. I'm not very good at this stuff I'm afraid. As a friend once told me, "you have very loud thoughts....".
You don't have to go, if it feels a bit much at the moment. Really you don't. What's the point of having a difficult evening? Says she, who really doesn't go out that much anymore!!

Beansprout- does he have any evidence of regular payments to her? Cheque book stubs, direct transfers, etc? Or was it all in cash?

Impatience- re uncle. If you like him otherwise, how about broaching the subject gently first, then shopping him if you feel you'd like to? For the record, he is not as bad as my sister's ex, who is currently being stalked by one mother of a cheat's hangover (at least when we've finished with him), as he is:

1. working, for cash
2. claiming benefits as 'unemployed'
3. claiming legal aid in his criminal case for harassment against my sister
4. claiming legal aid for his claim for access to their two children (although his interest in the children is limited to how much bother he can cause my sister)
5. failing to pay maintenance for at least 2 other children
6. owns 6 houses, all of which are placed in other people's names
7. failing to return 25,000 pounds of my sister's money, and 2000 pounds of my mother's
8. Continuing to slander and stalk my sister despite bail conditions warning him to stay well away from her
9. Shagging several other women, and picking up 18 year olds in the self=defence class he teaches.
10. Till now refused parental responsibility for his children with my sister, although claiming it now that he seeking access

Yes, he really is that bad. No, the authorities do not seem to give-a-shit. Hey ho. We've a plan of action- ie an order in which to shop him to the authorities, one by one. He has it coming. His one big mistake is thinking we might be scared of him. Sh1thead.

Sorry about that. I went off on one, didn't I?

Sunshine- have some Turkish Delight. Yes, the white witch's kind. Have some more.

And "repeat ad infinitum"? Definitely. I can't believe I was nearly sucked back into that.

ps: I live in a village of 60 people, yet every bastard here is either pregnant or has recently given birth. OK, maybe a slight exaggeration, but two nearest neighbours are/have.

Hi Folks, love the new hut - looks kinda hippy like, and can smell the wacky backy - whose on that tonight?

Feel like Ive been away for ages - thats cos I had high optimism and hope so dwelt on an IVF site for a week and a bit to learn more about that. But dear Hut was calling...feeling really sad today Im due to test on Wed after IVF attempt and Ive started to spot today. Im dreading waking up in the morning to a possible AF. Do you think if I lie in bed all day tomorrow it will stop it

re your conversation on temperatures. Ive also been doing that cos thought that would give me an early indication of potential AF. Normally I dip to around 36.3 the day before AF. Today I had a huge hike up to 36.9 from 36.6 so went off to work with high optimism and yet I still spotted. Bitch! So I guess I can't even get that right either why does our bodies play with our emotions so???

ps seen there are many chocs and toffees but no drink - is this a "dry" hut??? (LNO opens up a few bottles of wine) anyone care for a drink???

LNO- we were just waiting for someone to turn up with drink!

My temps don't dip before my period starts, bizarrely. They stay high until 2 days after it starts. So can't even use those as forewarning. Not that my hopes even bother to crawl out of bed in the morning, mind you...

Also my temps do not rise until several days after ovulation, unless
a) my luteal phase has dwindled to 7 days,
b) the few signs of ovulation that deign to grace me occur a full week before ovulation,
c) my breasts become sore for no particular reason at all a few days before ovulation.

Either way, I am barren.