TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Morning ladies, God am in such a foul mood - AF must be on its way. Tested yesterday morning (after another sleepless night) and was BFN. Must just be the hormones making my womb twinge and hopefully repair itself (sorry TMI ). This waiting for AF is the hardest thing ever - i feel completely obsessed and drained and unable to concentrate on anything else. I realised how bad it had been yesterday when pains almost disappeared so could actually stop thinking about it for a while. Is just over a week to go until 6 weeks since ERPC so think will arrange to see doctor if AF still not here but pains are?
Work still P8ssing me off. Have cancelled friends for this w/e as need a w/e in bed. Hope you are all okay - safe to say I empathise with everything that has been said and have been shouting "GOD YES I FEEL LIKE THAT TOO!" at the laptop.
p.s. checked the test again when got back from trip late last night(threw it in bin i could easily get to ha ha) and was a faint line like at the weekend - is this a prob with tests that a line comes up hours after use? Is this why they tell you that only the immediate answer is correct? God wish I could stop obsessing over this...

Jules: rant away if it helps. I just wish I could do something to help because what you've been through is horrific. And so sad for your dp too. Have you had some counselling together? We did once about other stuff and it really helped: we were so in the middle of certain situations ourselves that it took an outsider to help us learn to talk to each other again in a constructive way. You are so, so lucky to have such a lovely relationship with your dh and I think the way you cherish him is wonderful. Hard to say this, but I don't have anything like that connection with mine, but that's a hole other story.

Herbaceous: I am thinking of you and am so sorry that things have been so awful for you. Words are inadequate sometimes.

Mrsmac: I'm in the zone too, though I have to say that I find the combination of bd and ttc a real turn off. Mind you, when I got pregnant last time, it was as a result of a really military approach to the whole thing: lots of sex at the rights times, whether we felt like it or not. It worked so it must be worth it.

Popsy: what helps? chocolate? AF just is crap, that's all there is to it,. But it will pass and it must be good to feel as though your cycle is getting back to normal.

Jady: are you out there? Are you ok? I'm thinking of you.

Everyone else: I hope you're all ok. I am feeling much better and am thinking of us all being on happier thread soon: it will happen. I'm going to see a homeopath this afternoon. This is in regard to my hyperemesis which put in my hospital when I was pregnant with ds, but she told me she could help me get my body in tip top condition for ttc so I'll let you know what she says.
hugs to all.

Hello all, AF has arrived and I have never been this pleased to see her. Thanks to those who answered my question as to when to expect her, I was obviously just too impatient.

patkica- thanks for a lovely post. I agree that red wine is very important for us all Do let us know how you get on at the homeopath, I think you are right that we need to be in tip top shape. I feel like a OAP today so definitely need to build myself up. I feel like a trip to Holland and Barrett. What supplements do you ladies take?

popsy- I can really really identify with you, waiting for Af has been driving me crazy. I even spent the last 2 days trying to make a doctors appointment for next week, which would be 6 weeks from the ERPC. I had acupuncture on monday night in an attempt to induce it, though it probably would have come anyway I found the session very comforting. I had a week of odd pains- not AF cramps, more like sharp twinges, which were worrying me and then yesterday my stomach ballooned- I seriously looked 4 months pg. Sounds like AF could be heading your way too? Big hugs while youre waiting.

jules- hello! maybe your virtual hug encouraged AF to visit me! I don't think you get just a badge or award for your post- more like a crate of wine and a vast supply of fancy choc! really sorry to hear of your tough time. Loved what you had to say about your DP. Mine is worrying about me all the time and you are so right- who is there for them? I think DH is just burying himself in work.

Herby- didn't mean to sound patronising about the steroids- you're probably fed up with people asking 'have you tried this...' How are you feeling today? Hope you're ok

basilbrush and alittlebitshy- are you feeling any stronger? hope so x

sorry popsy i have just assumed you were hoping Af would appear! Please don't be offended if actually you want her to stay away

red wine good for us?
urgh - after the hen party i went on at the weeknd, all wine is bad . i have not been that ill for a long long time.

are you still feeling ill? must have been a great hen party!

feel ok today but i swear yesterday (ie tues... ie 2 days later) i still had a headache

god....... i was so so drunk

if i'd still been pg i'd have felt MUCH better cos no booze

but imagine how boring it would have been if you were only drinking water and how tired and crap you would have felt. PLus you wouldnt have all the cringeworthy flashbacks!!

lol yeah

have decided to wait til next af before ttc again. feel like it is the most responsible decision i have ever made . af last wek was not even really an af.. more of a bit of spotitng, so I don't now what is going on. i think if i got pg i'd be even more worried about another m/c than if i waited (irrational probably). plus maybe i'll feel a bit more up (as opposed to down).

jules - loved your epic! you're so good at putting things into words! and your poor poor dp

pospy how you feeling today?? still crampy?

hey i think the reason i'm struggling to keep up with replying to people (ie i do a few then run out of steam, when i really really want to talk to you all) is the length of the thread, it's a lot of work (am i just lazy ?) scrolling up and down again.
anyone else think we should start a new one (as it's now april, nearly may infact lol)

hi all - you really need to be on here every 5 mins to keep up don't you .

jules - well done on your epic ! Glad you are feeling a bit better at the moment. Here's hoping your body sorts itself out (have you tried having a stern word?)

popsy - sorry you are in bad mood - any better today ? Has AF shown up ??

littlebitshy - a 2 day hangover sounds like a good night... even if you wish you weren't able to drink. Well done on deciding to wait till AF to ttc and am pleased the counselling is going well.

Torres - pleased AF has come for a visit, now its GO GO GO . I don't really take any supplements other than pre-natal vitamins. I did try taking evening primrose oil but they gave me symptoms like I was PG - sickness etc so I gave up on those. I have DH on multivits and zinc too.

Patkica/ mrsmc - Hope you're getting lots of action, agree Patkica the . Not so good in the wheely houehold at the mo - managed it tues, then last night DH got home at 10, we then had dinner and watched apprentice (which I had proudly managed to record on our DTR for the first time !) , eventually made it to bed for every time we tried to do anything we'd get a 'MUUUUMMMMMMMYYYYYY, LOST BUNNNYYYY'. As you can imagine, being tired and not particularly feeling like it anyway - that was the real turn off so we both went to sleep. Hm. Not happy. CD16 today, but no +OPK yet. DH is out at a dinner tonight so am hoping it holds off a few days... harumph. Am off to see a friend who is 36 weeks pg with twins today, that might put me off the whole idea (she says trying to convince herself...).

Hugs and hellos to everyone else.

Morning everyone, Thanks for the messages of support. No sign of AF yet - maybe my stressing is keeping it away.Still crampy poor womb has been in for it this month!

Torres great news on your new arrival this means all systems go again? Or at least - back in control again - which is where we all want to be and is the most infuriating thing about MC and ttc.
My tummy blew up like PG on Tuesday too so maybe I am following in your footsteps?
p.s. desperately trying to think of a silly name for you but am out of ideas apart from torrid which you may not like

notsoshyanymorenowamongstfellowMNutters I too have called off "free swim" until after AF. Is no good for me though as I find condoms a real turn off (in that not wearing one means exciting things might just happen ). However it is one way of taking control over my naughty booty which just will not tow the line

MrsMcScottynotspok I can't help thinking of star trek/wars and all of you BDers moving in slow motion towards the bedroom (in zero gravity) or waving light sabers at each other.

wheelyspin How about a hefty dose of calpol - kids will have a great nights sleep and if that doesn't work you and DH could always have a swig and get all warm and cuddly (JOKE!) tee hee

Patkica Sounds like homeopath is a fab idea. I saw a nutritionsit/homeopath and was fab - they ask all about EVERYTHING to do with your body - it helps to look at yourself from inside out sometimes? Relationships are harder work than not being in one and I am amazed at what comes out when me and my friends have had a few too many (i.e. we are all terrified we have got it wrong sometimes i.e. when mine breaths through his nose while eating grrrr)

SparklyJules you must have worn your vocal cords (or typing fingers) out last time as you have gone very quiet - I can imagine you with stumps for fingers - after 4 MEGA posts- using one of those typing sticks that is attached to your head

Anyway - at least yesterday is over - I have taken the bold move of working from home today and tomorrow - is amazing how that calms me down instantly! Sometimes dealing with work stresses, mental and physical stresses and then seeing annoying work people face to face is just too much.

Met a very old and very dear friend for emergency drinks after work last night. We were planning on tea and cakes but ended up in a bar knocking back the Rose. She is ttc so we had a great goss session and I gave her some ttc tips and told her to get herself on MN! Was great to just chill out. Got train home at 9pm (off my face after 2 large glasses am such a wuss these days). Listened to coldplay very loud on ipod with tears streaming down my face: Going to write the lyrics here as think they are perfect for our situation:

Fix You
When you try your best but you don't suceed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something that you can't replace
when you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

From high up above or down below
When you are too in love to let it go
Well if you never try you'll never know
Just what you were

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I'll learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And will try to fix you

Funnily enough this song really helped me last year when my Dad died but also means alot to me now. It reminds me that our DH/DP can see what we are going through but are unable to "fix us".

Get the Coldplay X&Y Cd if you can!! Is much better with the music.

Oh, Popsy, you've gone and done it with those lyrics, my eyes are welling up That was the song that was playing on the radio when dp was driving me home from having the scan that told us I had had a missed m/c and now whenever I hear it it sets me off. But I kind of find it comforting that I have a song that I can associate with the mc because I can use it to help the emotion out when I need to.....

Morning Ladies,

Just poping in to say hi and see how everyones doing.

popsy - that song gets me in tears everytime. Take Thats song paitence does the same too. Its funny before the EP and MMC id listen so songs and think nothing of them. But now i pay far too much attention to them and end up in tears .

mrsmcjnr - Thanks for your advice on when to start ttc again. DP and i have decided to wait until ive stopped taking my anti-biotics. I take the last one on Friday . Its better to safe than sorry.

Its been 2 weeks since my 1st ERPC and 1 week since the 2nd. This morning i did a HPT (bought 10 off ebay ) and its still showing up positive but only faintly . Anyone any ideas on how long it will be before a test shows up negative again? Am i right in thinking that until it shows up negative again, i wont ovulate?

God yes - well I certainly could do with some Patience!

Hi all, hope you are all doing okay - looks like it has been a bit hard for some of you lately but I hope you are starting to come through it. Am missing you guys like mad, you feel like my second family! So many people on the pg after m/c thread that apart from Furrymummy I've got a whole new lot of people to get to know.
Just wanted to say to Missnatalie that when I m/c I was told to do a HPT 2 weeks after bleeding stopped. Kept getting positives and after many blood tests (some got lost, done wrong etc) eventually I had an ERPC and was told again to do test 2 weeks after bleeding stopped. I did one a bit early and it was faintly positive but when I did one at the 2 week mark it was (finally) negative. You are right in thinking that while it still shows up on a HPT you won't ovulate. If you are worried then speak to your GP or EPU. It's terrible to keep going through it - to me it felt like I had lost it all over again.

Hello everyone,

Hope it's ok with you guys if I join in. I've been watching this thread for a bit and have finally plucked up courage to post. This is my first experience with chatting this way.

A quick note about me: been ttc for 8mth and finally got pg last Dec but unfortunately m/c at 12wks on 17th Feb. Just got my AF 2wks ago. Never thought I'd be so happy to see it! DH and I are planning to try again. I'm terrified to be honest but want a baby so badly.

My bestfriend also got pregnant at the same time and both are doing well. I'm finding it very difficult to talk to her about my loss and so haven't really talked to anyone apart from DH. Everyone seems very supportive here, which is amazing.

Hi My1st - have a scottish hug

This is a really supportive thread - I think I would have gone crackers without it. It's wonderful to have a place to share our hormonally crazed emotions. Esp when no-one at work etc know what you've been through..

I'm so sorry to hear about your m/c. Good news that AF is back in town however and now you can start feeling positive again

am still waiting for mine and it's driving me nuts. i'm a teacher and an organisation freak so hate uncertainty!!

BB

hey basil are you still waiting too? God so glad to have company in my anxiety (am a teacher too - we must all be control freks ). Have your cramps gone? My body is still hay wire - really strange!

hey popsy
cramps really intense yesterday, thought "here we go" but nothing yet
today, I squeezed creamy stuff out of my nipples - WHAT is that about??

Thanks for the hugs basil. Really need some tve support today as feeling low. Also my bestfriend pissed off with me for not communicating with her for ages. She can't understand why I'm in pieces since quite a few of her other friends had m/c but are in better shape emotionally than me. Guess I'm shattered because I'll be 41 soon and may have left it too late....

Ah, how does she know they're in "emotional shape". They might be bottling it all up and weeping in private. You are doing a really proactive thing talking about your feelings

I am trying to open up a bit more. I find that I was wanting to be left alone very early on the m/c. I am feeling much better since AF. Got a bit panicky thinking that I might be hitting menopause from the mad hormonal changes with pregnancy and then m/c.

How long have you been waiting for Af if you don't mind me asking?

m/c started 30 days ago - so hasn't been abnormally long yet. Just impatient!

basil sorry to admit it but creamy nipple discharge made me snicker into my keyboard...there but for the grace of god..
On a serious note I have heard of that happening with an MC (i have little shooting pains in my boobs). Sounds like we are having similar cramp patterns? Mine are back again - my back aches low down and my hips too so bizarre! However I had erpc and yours happened naturally? I was complaining to a friend about the foulness of erpc procedure and she says her Mum (a midwife) says is healthy as cleans you out . Have you been abstaining this month or been a little "naughty" like me. Looking back would have been much more mentally stable to have stayed off the mother ship completely this time (but i needed the small chance that might get PG again to keep me getting out ofbed every day?).
I have not got anything done today -have a PhD to mark and is sitting there looking at me like a big pile of poo, while I read my Jodi picoult book about a girl dying of leukemia (v. sad but am enjoying being melancholy today hence the coldplayobsession)). Wish I was in one of those victorian plays as I could faint and then rest up for a year or so untilI was "with child". Instead, I'm going to pretend to read the brick, write reports and sneak glimpses at MN between chocs (whole box of thorntons gone today - bought as a poor you prez so decided not to share - what a greedy witch!)