TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

hi girls...just wanted to moan about the fact that I really want to start ttc again after my mc last month and I'm frustrated that I can't use my CBFM yet until i get AF...

well seeing as we are all having the same symptoms (except my boobs just deflated overnight on wednesday ) would suggest that either we are all suffering from post MC hormonal fluctuations or we are all PG - I know which one I would like it to be but have gutted feeling that am wrong...

interesting about this sore boob thing. I NEVER had sore boobs pre-mc as a sign of AF arriving and tbh I don't even remember having them when I was pg with dd. I had really sore boobs before my m/c and now have them every month before AF. So must be some strange hormonal thing here at any rate. Here's hoping it means osmething else for you others !

Popsy - sorry you had a rough day but sounds like it ended up much better ! Your weekend sounds fun - have a pint for me !

Herbaceous - sorry about neg test, here's hoping either it was too early or that AF arrives soon so you know where you are !

Mumto3girls - AF arriving vibes to you too.

Afternoon all! Lovely sunny day here and spent morning running errands and afternoon snoozing with DS2!
Wheely, I think its funny about the boobs thing too, until last year I never used to get any symptoms before AF at all. Before m/c I had slightly bigger ones before AF on the 2 cycles before I conceived but since m/c they always get very filled out and very sore - I was convinced I was pg last time cos they were so sore I couldn't wear a bra!
Popsy, I am not sensible! A sensible woman would not have tested yesterday and now be worrying in case the result was wrong! Few people seem to get these early faint positives and then AF arrives for them, especially with cheap tests. Will prob test again in the morning as 48 hours should have made it much darker (I hope). Sounds like you had a good evening yesterday after your crap day! Glad you are picking yourself up a bit. I think it is normal to feel depressed and disappointed after a m/c, I certainly did for a long time. It has only really been in the last few weeks that I feel the depression has lifted.
Herbaceous, I'm glad karyotyping showed no problems, the wait to find out must have been awful. Fingers crossed that the next one will be fine. Is horrid when our bodies mess us around, particularly after m/c when we just want to get back to normal! Is awful to feel the disappointment of a BFN, despite all the worries about tests and doctors and things I would imagine that underneath you want nothing more. I know that would be how I would feel. I don't know if 28 days would be long enough to detect anything, it would depend when you ov'd I guess.
Mumto3girls I hope AF arrives soon for you!

becklespeckle - how marv. Fingers, and toes, crossed.

the whole boobs thing is mad. A few years ago my bristols used to get very sore pre AF, but after my miscarriages they stopped. It would now appear they're back. Bastards. I can't even walk up stairs without having to hold on to them. They look pretty fantastic, though.

herbaceous you lucky cow! Sod it - I am going to spend the money I would have lost in maternity pay on a new plastic set!

p.s. why do i always feel weepy at same time of day (i.e. now?)

popsy - I only meant they look fantastic when artificially inflated, as now. They're pretty standard issue most of the time. Sorry you feel sad now. I find the mornings are the worst. Often have a slight cry on the way to work.

Just a quickie as my damn computer is playing up again - the mains cable has some sort of loose connection so am runnig off battery so not sure how logn it will last so if I'm off for a few days thats where I'll be ! At least I might get something done round the house and dd will watch less TV .

Hugs to all - Make sure you all have lots of BFP's to tell me about when I get my computer sorted...

herbaceous sorry was only pulling your leg (though did love my pups too when they were fabulously inflated). Am at home now feeling better though have a strange mantra going thru my head "LIFE IS NOT FAIR" hmmm. Better crack open the green and blacks mini eggs i didn't give my step mum at easter (well she wasn't there so really has forfeited her right - and of course my need is greater than hers being medicinal and all that ). DH out getting drunk tonight. Can you tell I am a bit frantic in on my own? I am cleaning house and hoping to expend energy. I hope he manages to have a good drunken chat with his colleague as they are very close but he hasn't told him (or anyone really) poor thing.
hey gillydafs - you are right - maybe is also when hungry too as is end of day (nother excuse
wheely hope computer gets mended and you are back on line again soon (what did we ever do ithout them?

Hiya all. I would definitely put up with the soreness if I could keep my early pg boobs all the time! They are not too much bigger but are much more filled and a better shape! Used to joke with DH that third child would be most expensive due to boob job required afterwards! Wheely hope is you get your computer sorted, I would be lost without mine, can't remember what I did before I had it!
Hey Gillydaffs how are you? Have you had your first counselling session yet?
Hi everyone else! Right off to clean the kitchen now before I settle down with a bag (or 2) of mini eggs and watch Ugly Betty! Have a nice evening all xxx

Hi Beckle - I am going to be on here later than you for first time ever! Getting bored being home alone. Am sure phonecall will come soon to pick up DH from some station far from home that he got lost to.
Have tidied whole house from top to bottom but just too much time to think IYKWIM

hello everyone, I'm sorry i've not posted much over the past couple of weeks - I was feeling very down about the whole ttc business and had decided to take a break, both from thinking about conceiving and from mumsnet too.

However, yesterday I thought i'd do a test after experiencing tiredness and sore boobs over the last couple of days, but feeling wearily sure that it would be negative as usual, and got a dark, strong positive . My hands were shaking and I felt like I was either going to throw up or burst into tears - i was so so shocked. I don't remember if I posted on this thread that I'd been aware of ovulating a while ago but we'd hardly done anything about it....so that's really why I can't believe it.

I'm feeling cautious, but i really do hope to see you all gradually making you're way onto the ante-natal threads again. Let's hope we none of us have to re-visit these threads.

Beckle - fingers crossed for you

xxx

Morning all! Hi Popsy - typical that the first night I am not on here until late, you are! I usually tidy up out of boredom too, DH was working last night until about 9 so I cleaned the kitchen, including taking everything out of the fridge and freezer and cleaning all the drawers/shelves. Makes me feel less guilty when he comes in if I have been working too!
Hi Peanutbutter! We wondered where you were! Sometimes it does help to take a step back - and obviously it has for you! Congrats honey! Hopefully it will be fine this time, I am sure it will.
Anyway, I did another ebay cheapy test this morning - line still took a couple of minutes to appear and was still very faint. So (naughty me) did the clearblue I have been saving too - and got BFP!!! I must still be very early as it took a minute to appear but it was definitely there before the line in the control window and it was nice and fat! (dipped it rather than peed on it though so don't know if that makes a difference? Had to dip it for 10 secs too as nothing happened after 5 - you can usually see the pee creeping across can't you). Is it daft to still worry the tests are wrong???
I am feeling reassured by the fact I have thrush though as I only get it when very very first pg or after AF. Also, I didn't get it with either of the pgs I m/c but I did with both my boys so I am hoping that is a good sign. Still a bit scared though.
Hope you ladies don't mind if I lurk around here a bit for a while? You guys have helped me to feel calmer and more positive about everything and I do feel that getting my head in the right place has helped my body get there too. to all of you xxx

Hi guys-first message for me- am hoping someone can help me and I can share the experiences I have had with others too! Tested BFP (not used to the abbrevs yet!) last weekend but have had bleeding and a clot since - just one brief loss. I am 5 1/2 weeks now.Phoned GP and she said to do another test this weekend which I just did. That is also BFP -but I thought I had read on MN somewhere that the tests can still show pos for a while due to the HCG levels? I am totally confused and upset - am 43 and this is my first ever BFP in 10 years of trying! Thanks for listening.

Hi - I've been lurking around for a while and wondered if anyone can give me advice about CM after miscarriage. Had my third miscarriage 4 weeks ago - had 2 then 3 DS then this time a missed miscarriage with medical management so I cant really remember from previous miscarriages. I havent really checked my CM but have been vaguely aware of it and have realised it isnt really conforming to normal pattern this time. Have been having aches as if ovulating or about to start period but dry CM (TMI). Also feel like I am getting thrush which I had when I was recently pregnant after never having it in my life before so am wondering if that is messing things up or is getting my hopes up that I might be pregnant - although think its unlikely as its so soon since MC. Any thoughts? Thanks.
Jady - It sounds positive that you are still getting a BFP but I would want to be seen and scanned to let me know what was happening. If you have an early pregnancy unit in your area they are usually very good and you can self-refer. There is info about them on the internet. good luck.

Hi All - a very quick post as I will try and type before my last gasp of battery runs out !

Peanutbutter and Beckle - wowee !! Congratulations both of you. Great news. Please keep in touch though !

Gilly - glad the session went well. I think there's a lot of sense in the planning side of things. I feel much the same - I had always planned to have DC2 around now and certainly by the time dd started pre-school. Now dd will be at pre-school at least a term (if not longer as things are going !!) and I'll be at a loose end which is hard given as I stopped working to do 'this'. Am pleased for you that you decided to do the counselling and that it is working out well.

Jules - What a sad post but I hope its helped sort your feelings out a bit. (Hugs) to you and please keep posting..

Jady - if worried please go to A&E. IF you're not continuously bleeding it may be a good sign (not sure by your post) and certainly a BFP is a 'positive' (sorry for pun) sign. Please keep us posted.

LFM - It IS possible to be pg so soon - I think peanutbutter's BFP is straight after m/c. Why not do a test - even if its BFN it might not stop you wondering/getting your hopes up or it might just be good news...

waves and hugs to everyone else.... Wheres MrsMc ?? Hope you're ok...

Evening ladies well they say you have to get to the bottom sometimes to be able to find your way back up and I really felt that way on Friday. When I woke up Saturday morning crying at 7am I knew I had to do something so I sent a HUGE email to my cousellor from last year and will be starting again on Monday phew. It is really strange but I have felt much better since. I also did a PG test and was BFN which seems to have cleared my head. I have had the weird CM and AF pains that I had when PG for 2 weeks now (4 weeks since ERPC) and so was so freaked out all the time at wehther was or was not and how mad I might be to be having phantom PG. I feel much more chilled now and am going to use condoms properly til I get AF so I can stop fretting at every "symptom". I have kind of had an epiphany about how i was feeling. I think I wanted to be PG again instantly so that I could be back where i was (like someone had pressed pause in my life) and I just needed to press play again.

Friends came over on Sat and I was describing my early PG symptoms and so enjoyed talking about it - I then realised I can be there again and that it will be a new experience - not a continuation of the baby i lost? Maybe that sounds obvious but it has taken ages for me to realise this. I even had a good phonecall with my PG friend.

gilly the advice from your cousellor sounds like was meant for me - thanks so much for sharing - it is really useful and am sure lots of us are in same boat!

I also had a good convo with my Mum which has been a while coming. She really suprised me by saying - you have started a different journey and the loss of this baby doesn't mean you can't still make the life changes that you had planned - leave your stressful job and get something that takes the pressure off for a while (my mum is a career woman feminist so was a suprise to me).
Not going to rush into anything as need my salary alot at mo but is nice to think there are changes round the corner that don't involve worrying about PG.

Hope you are all having a good lazy sunday - Massive hugs to nutty and beckle! It will be me sending that message at some point. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even next month but I know it will happen hooray!!!

thanks for your lovely replies everyone

beckle - congratulations!! Are you going to ask the Dr to do a test - do you have a family planning clinic at your surgery? Like you say, the thrush is a good reassuring sign isn't it?

Gilly I'm so pleased the counselling session helped you. We have all shared that feeling, to some extent or another, of "that should have been me". TTC definitely takes its toll and it's great that she's helped you identify your feelings so you can try to deal with them a little easier.

popsy - sounds like you've turned an important corner too, glad to see you're feeling happier -

MrsMc - hope you're okay

I'll keep looking on this thread and hope there gets to be fewer and fewer of you, with more on the ante-natals.

Morning Jules looks like you have had a really rough time - poor you! This really is the hardest thing to get through as so often not only are you dealing with loss but also hopes for the future which kind of get in the way of grieving? Add to that your medical worries and is just too much for one person to take. Luckily we are all here and know exactly how you feel!
MrsMc Haven't heard anything from you in ages - hope you are okay?
everyonelse GOOD MORNING!