Thread 27. TTC #1 - we're stressed, we're fed up, we're bitter but I promise this will all be worth it when we're holding our precious babies

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Hi kitty & midnight!

Ugh kitty I hear you re spontaneity - not sure I have any advice, but would welcome others'...

Oh goodness kwick you poor thing! You deserve some peace and quiet time with no drama, hope you're not in too much pain?

Jam 💐 Sorry you're feeling so blue. It's shit. I hope you can get some support in RL- do you think you might do GP or counselling? I had some counselling a couple of years ago for something else and still now I find myself using the tools- I'd really recommend it if you have the chance. Take care x

I'm CD37 and brown spotting today. Frustrated.

What is your average cycle length Binky?

There is no spontaneity is our house anymore but there was from cycle 1-6. You've got to assume you're one of those lucky couples at the start or you'll burn out way too fast. I definitely wouldn't be temping, just get some cheap opks from Amazon to work out roughly when your O day is and then you can have a GOS more often around that date.

Skipper initially average cycle was 31ish days, last 6months-ish has increased to 35. The sonographer on Friday thought I had already ovulated (which would probably fit in with EWCM a second time on CD26) so I must be due in next couple of days I suppose. Will test again maybe tomorrow if still no show, but I think with spotting I'm out anyway.

Just wish AF would rock up or I'd get a BFP- I am no good in limbo land!

I agree with skipper about keeping away from the clinical bits at first if possible- whilst I'm still a stress head, EOD is a much better approach for us and stops DH feeling too much pressure to perform at certain times. It's meant it's a bit more fun than when I cried because he wouldn't have a GOS and I thought I was ovulating that day

Binky - you know you're body better than anyone but brown blood is old blood so I hope it's late implantation bleeding or something. Would be amazing if you got a BFP xx

Binky, I'm CD36 here and stuck in limbo with you. Woke up with some cramps in the middle of the night so think maybe AF is finally arriving a week late.

Thank you Binky and Skipper for the advice! I have been wanting to TTC longer than DH so I've got a bit obsessive during the research phase I think (though he has supported so far). I don't want to intimidate him with all this too soon! I'll do the OPKs for a couple of months to get to grips more privately with what is going on (though could be all over the place after so long on the mini pill!) without rubbing his face in the overpreparedness and try and make it feel like non TTC intimate times! I am already a woman obsessed so I'll let you know how I get on with toning it down!

Having read more posts on here I do think I might have been totally naive about my cycles coming back. I've only had the withdrawal bleed (which was exactly like a period in the old days before pills) and no proper period yet so it could be 6 months before I am even having normalish cycles!

Fingers crossed for Binky and Kathrino getting a BFP rather than AF xxx

So I was freaking out because AF was starting on my wedding day last time I checked. Now it's exactly 5 days before and my periods normally last an average of 4-5 days.

Yep, this is my life now - living das dream.

Kitty - when was your withdrawal bleed? I bled like my period too and then my cycles were completely regular from then on. So it was kind of like the withdrawal bleed was CD1. Maybe you are the same?

carley yep it came out of nowhere. Pain is less today but I still cannot walk... I am going to see GP this pm to at least get a fit note for work.
What a fricking start to 2017. And it is just so sad, when I thought I would be giving birth in September, to think that there will be no baby this year.

Welcome @MidnightAura!!!

kathrino hope you enjoy the big apple 🍏

Fingers crossed for you kathrino- hope she doesn't show up! And thanks for the wishes skipper- not feeling hopeful but let's see how next couple of days go

Kwick you have had such a rotten time 💐 My heart goes out to you 💜

Oh kwick I'm so sorry to hear that. You've got too much on your plate to deal with and all.of it is painful and distressing, I hope it lessens and you feel less stressed soon. Thinking of you.

Skipper I came off Cerazette after 6 years (Yasmin previously) a week ago, and got 5 days of what seemed to me a completely normal period in every way (pain, consistency, etc). I've just ordered the OPKs as per advice as I'm thinking it might be less of an intense approach to trying to understand my cycles. You never know, I may be regular straight away as you were. We're you also on the mini pill? What cycle are you in now?

The nurse at my smear test last month told me I was unlikely to get pregnant in the first 6 months due to the hormones needing to balance. I'm trying to therefore play it cool (with myself!) but this is already filling every waking moment!

Kitty - I don't want to build your hopes up, but I was on cerazette and had a normal period a week after, then everything was like clockwork after that including ovulation. I hope the same is for you, get some opk strips from Amazon and start using them as soon as they arrive. You can post pics if you are unsure and we'll tell you when it's positive. I'm on cycle 20, I hope we aren't the same for that part - have unexplained infertility.

Don't worry you haven't got my hopes up up. It's great to hear there is a chance it might go back to normal quickly but if it doesn't it still won't be too nasty a surprise. I've bought 100 OPKs on Amazon due to arrive this weekend and will do them straight away. Will post pics if I'm not sure. Thank you again for the support and advice. I hope you get caught soon and in the meantime keep going!

Despite my shit start to 2017 I am forever hopeful and so feel usual high PMA trying to make itself known... may help I just applied to 2 new jobs

Fricking hate working from home though... it will be a relief to go into the office tomorrow! Even if I do have to fork out for a cab to get there...

You are due some positive karma Kwick - you don't deserve any of this and the universe has to swing in your favour soon.

I'm itching to buy baby stuff, I won a lot of Love 2 Shop vouchers and I want to use them in Argos to get the stuff I need. So crazy....I'm going to resist.

Sorry you've been in pain Carley did AF come on properly in the end?

Welcome midnight and kittykat hope you have short successful TTC journeys

Thanks for all the kind thoughts. I'm feeling stronger today. Getting used to sitting opposite my pregnant colleague. Have downloaded Headspace again to try and get regular meditation going again. AND I've left work and it's light outside! Hurrah.

Kath I hope you have a lovely time in NYC and your limbo ends soon, preferably in BFP but I can see how you don't want to get your hopes up, especially after seeing BFNs.

Binky likewise hope you get some clarity soon too

Skipper great news re AF and wedding - it's a small victory but a victory nonetheless and you never know you could actually still get pregnant and not get AF at all...

Kwick you lift my heart 💛

Emailed Serum clinic in Athens yesterday after reading a lot about it online. The lovely lady emailed me back and said he's got a very high count, we would recommend more regular ejaculation to clear out dead sperm / keep sperm fresh. And they recommend being tested for infections - and said sometimes they see an infection affects morphology and can be treated quite easily.

I don't know what to make of this. The NHS consultant said nothing about infection I'm wondering if it's worth us getting tested for this in the UK before we do anything ?

I also asked her what she meant by regular ejaculation - she said daily ideally. I haven't mentioned this one to DH yet...

He's actually at Cheltenham races with some old school friends today. He has taken the opportunity to confide in his oldest friend about our fertility problems. He text me earlier to say that his best friend and his wife tried for 18 months and were put on fertility drugs (guessing clomid) and conceived just before starting IVF. I never knew this!! I presumed they conceived their little boy at the blink of an eye. The other guy there with them has also revealed his girlfriend has had two miscarriages in the last year.

We are very much not alone in having fertility difficulties. This does help me keep things in perspective.

Jam glad you're feeling more positive

You're 100% right - it's like a silent trauma all these people have experience with but (mostly) don't talk about. With miscarriages, its changed a huge amount in the last generation and now people do talk about it much more, but with infertility, it is still something most people prefer to keep private, which protects us, but also can leave us feeling alone when there are absolutely loads of people going through this.

jam I'm so glad your DH has found some people to talk to.
It is crazy how many people struggle and it's just not known. No one talks about fertility issues. Since we've been trying I've found out quite a lot of people we know took a while/had IVF/needed investigations. I really take comfort in the fact that we are not abnormal and a lot of those people have got beautiful babies now.
We will all get there! (And someone will hear the announcement and think, they were lucky!)

kwick you are amazing! You have been given such a shitty start to 2017 and it makes me angry! But tomorrow is a new day and that PMA will carry you through. Fingers crossed for the jobs.
(I'm a Physio by the way so if you need any advice then drop me a DM)

kitty I was on cerazette as well and everything fell back to normal almost straight away so got my fingers crossed for you.

sk1pper great news about AF and your wedding. How are the plans coming along?

Sorry about the limbo kath and binky. I hope things move on quickly one way or another

About to enter TWW now so off to grab some pineapple and cayenne pepper!

jam so glad you are feeling a bit better.
You know what they say about asking different lawyers and getting different advice? Same with this fertility malarkey. Defo think getting infection possibility ruled out makes a lot of sense. Donor Magic potion is checked for that sort of thing as a matter of course I think.
And in the words of Michael Jackson: you are not alone 🎼

macs how lovely you are 💝
Leg lots better - rest of body feeling crutches exertions... saw GP and signed off travel (not work per se) for a week. Will brave office tomorrow by cab - no internet and ergonomic work space has driven me crazy!!! 😜

Hi everyone. Went awol for a bit, but just needed a break away.

pyjamas sorry to hear your DH behaved so disgracefully towards you, but I'm glad to read you have cleared the air now.

kwick you poor thing, I really hope life gives you a break soon! In awe of your PMA!

kath hoping your not left on limbo land for too much longer (I'm a regular attender at limbo land!).

london sorry to hear you have been feeling down, but considering what you have been through recently and being referred for IVF, you are allowed to be sad! I would look into fertility counselling, a lot of clinics offer this I believe.

Well I'm cd24 today. Am thinking that I have possibly ovulated yesterday but don't hold much hope for this cycle, we've only HS once in fw. DH is really struggling with his mental health at the moment and I'm really quite worried about him. His agreed to see his GP so going to get an emergency appt tomorrow.

I shared an article on fb earlier today about how my local ccg is cutting funding for IVF, so it would only be offered only for couples who have had cancer treatment and for those with a viral condition such as HIV. I said about how heart breaking infertility is and how not everyone can afford to go private. I got one comment from a friend to say 'this may be controversial but maybe infertility is nature's way of keeping the population down'. Am I being unreasonable to think that is a really shitty thing to say?
You could argue that with lots of medical conditions, doesn't mean we don't treat them!

Omg pug that was such a shitty thing your friend said! Whilst of course everyone can have their own opinion, there are ways of communicating it- and that was not it! So sorry you had to deal with that, I personally would delete the message. There's so many people struggling out there and to say something that could upset so many is just tactless

Hope you enjoy being back today kwick
*
Kathrino* any news from limbo? I hope AF remains MIA for you, warming up to your BFP. I had a teeny bit of red spotting yesterday and had to get up about 5 for a wee so can't POAS this morning now. If I buy a FRER I'm sure that will bring AF out of hiding 😑

pug I can't believe that - totally agree with you. If that's right then what's the point of modern medicine for anything?! Also pretty sure "natures way" doesn't involve the internet, cars, tv etc etc either!

binky and kath fx for you both!

glittery how are you? I'm 10dpo today, AF due Saturday, but I'm pretty sure it's going to come tomorrow instead cos I woke up with awful cramps (usu start day before AF for me). I will be gutted but at least hopefully cycle getting back to normal. Off on holiday today for 2.5 weeks though woo!

Going somewhere with patchy signal/internet so not sure I'll be able to post - stay well everyone and hope there are a load of bfps for me when I'm back!

pug how tactless!! And hurtful to those who NHS IVF may be their only option? Definitely a shitty shitty thing to say!! Hope your DH can get an appointment today too.

Kwick hope you are feeling a bit better today too!

Glad you are feeling stronger jam & that your DH has someone he can now talk to, it's almost easier for women to talk to other women about it, but it must be really helpful for our OHs to have support IRL too. And could you contract the NHS consultant you saw to ask whether they would do tests for infections as suggested by the Athens clinic?

Hoping for good news for skipper binky & Kathrino too! And anyone else due to test