Thread 27. TTC #1 - we're stressed, we're fed up, we're bitter but I promise this will all be worth it when we're holding our precious babies

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

They do get porn I believe flash!

I'm not sure he will see this as a treat... however we do have a fancy bar booked for a cocktail or two later :)

I'm glad you weren't offended by that! I posted and then thought crap, that could be taken so many different ways by different people! Your actual anniversary plans sound much nicer than porn.

Thanks for support ladies. Sometimes I don't want to post things like that as don't want to bring the mood down but it does help just to voice those thoughts/feelings to people who understand. Thank you.

I think I'll jump him then just to make sure ha ha. I haven't been using any opks as didn't want to launch straight back into all of that, was going to wait until after our holiday and then give it our best shot again.

Cocktails sounds great jam. Let's hope he gets a good result as your anniversary present :)

Jam - thanks hon. I admit I just got home from work and balled my eyes out...I was getting frustrated trying to put a new panty liner down for the never ending fucking spotting and lost it. Can't say I feel much better now as I've got a post-cry headache but I do think I needed it. Your cocktail evening sounds lovely, I hope you've both had a wonderful day xx

A good ugly cry alone is sometimes exactly what's needed skipper - especially if you've been holding it in all day at work. Hopefully you'll start to feel a bit brighter soon xx

Just POAS (opk) for the first time in ages, there's a line, but it's negative (as expected). Annoyed that I'm OPKing again as I definitely enjoyed not doing it, but as AF was so early, I want to keep an eye on it this cycle and have as much info as possible for our appointment next month.

I'm shattered -work is so stressful at the moment, and I just generally feel down and unmotivated. Like I just can't be arsed with it all and like the work I do doesn't actually matter. Jeez - I hope I perk up soon!

Just catching up - first off, I love the hormonal giraffe skipper, am going to try to remember this when PMT is at its worst

Sorry to all of you dealing with the stress of TTC on top of other shit - wish could give you all a big group hug (though think that's frowned upon on MN...). Hope you get a chance to vent and cry as much as you need; amazed at the strength you guys have xx

Hope you enjoy the your anniversary jam!

Think am in TWW now, though not holding out much hope this month, so trying best to ignore dates. Went for a run and swim yesterday, and touching up paint today - COME ON distractions

Oh, and YES to anti-low fat rants, praise be! Pet peeve of mine...

Hope you have restful evenings, esp. those having a hard time

Happy anniversary Jam! Enjoy your cocktails tonight! 🎉🍹🥂

Thinking of you sk1pper. This is all so shit isn't it?

Chlo, totally understand how you feel about your friend. It's so hard when you get reminders like that of how life should be.

Pyjamas, everyone I know feels the same at the moment re work. Such low morale and I don't see that changing any time soon. Loads of people have handed in their notice too so the stress is only going to get worse for those of us left behind. Sorry you're back on the OPK wagon but I think you're right to have as much info as poss for your appointment.

Quiet, I am also ignoring dates in the TWW so we can keep each other company!

chlo I conceived straight after a MC with no period in between so it is possible. I would have a GOS!

That's exactly it kath - morale is so low at the moment. And appraisal season sends everyone mental!

Yep my period started, in its usual cramping glory. I have been so angry today, OH and I cooked together and I physically threw the (empty) can of coconut milk because it didn't empty into a bowl right. I'm not normally an aggressive angry person, so it surprised both of us. And I've been a horrible, horrible human to my cat today. Normally her antics are cute and forgivable but I just haven't got the head space for it today. Don't worry, you don't need to call the RSPCA - I just locked her outside but I can hear her crying outside..../sigh, better go let her in.

Skipper you've every right to be angry. It's infuriating and unfair. Throw shit, shout and cry if you need to. These are powerful emotions and I think we need to express them when they overwhelm us. One day last week I got in from work and got into bed fully dressed and sobbed hysterically for a good 10-15 minutes because I just needed to. You will get through this 🌸🌼🌺

Exactly what jam said - totally understandable, let it all out! I'm prone to throwing things as well - usually when I'm on my own and free to rage 😤

Ahh I wish we all lived nearby, we could all start a support group and cry at our periods together whilst eating plenty of cake and drinking plenty of wine.

I'm glad I've caught up with you and Pyjamas a bit cycle wise. I just like being around the same CD as you both because although we each have isolated issues and problems, I think we're at similar stages of the fertility journey. And i feel like we've been here forever...along with many others of course.

Anyway, don't want to get too mushy. Thanks all for your kind words today xx

So sorry sk1pper. Have you got some strong drugs to help with the pain? Totally agree with Jam that you need to find a release otherwise it just eats you up inside.

And yes, Pyjamas, appraisal season is the final straw. We've not even got to moderation yet and I've had more than enough of it all.

Kath - pug mentioned I should get paramol over the counter so I took some of that. The stuff is amazing! I think the pain would of been chronic without it, could just about feel the waves of pain I normally get but very, very subdued.

Hope you all have a good day today? Who's coming up next test wise? Was it Alexia?

Ah skipper - I feel the same way, it's shit for all of us (and you and jam and others have been on this rollercoaster for a lot longer than I have) but it is nice not to feel alone. Group hug! Glad the painkillers are working their magic 👍🏼

It's moderation today kath starting at 9.30 for three goddamn hours - kill me now.

I'm right there with you Skipper getting bad cramps here too 💕 Hope you feel better soon

A support group sounds exactly what I need! I'm so desperate to talk about it all the time. DH hates me bringing it up he says it's constant it's not as I make a concerted effort to not bring it up with him all the time.

An old uni friend had her second baby yesterday, they took 22 months to conceive the first one and there was nothing wrong with them. So there is hope for us to conceive naturally!

I feel so stressed this month and I'm not looking after diet or exercise or anything so I already feel pretty gloomy about cycle 17

Good luck with appraisals / moderations all

Sorry to hear that Kerry - it really is the final kick in the teeth isn't it? Can totally recommend Paramol though for the pain. It made me a bit drowsy but it was pleasant drowsy.

Thanks Skipper I'll give it a go!

Jam - my aunt and uncle took 6 years to conceive their first, and later had another. I'm not sure I could keep up a PMA that long!

A support group would be amazing. So glad we've all got this forum for support. It's difficult with friends sometimes. I don't think people really understand how much it consumes you and how much support you need unless they've been in same position. Totally with you all on the good old cry! Sometimes it just has to be done.

Wow kerry, six years! I don't know how I could keep going for that long but obviously they got there in the end!

How was your anniversary jam? Hope you had a good one.

Where are you at now harriet? I read that you conceived when you were drinking a bit and not eating as healthily, hoping that might happen for us again lol. We managed to have a GOS this morning. DH set his alarm and I was still half asleep but sometimes you've got to make yourself haven't you (god that sounds so unromantic lol)

We've got our appt tomorrow to discuss rcm tests. Some of them went missing so I had to have bloods done again but good news they rang and said they're ready today so we'll be able to discuss tomorrow. I didn't want to pay another consultation fee just because they messed up! Only ones we won't have are the karotyping ones. Feel like I would almost like something to show up so we can say ah ok, that explains it, now let's take the medicine and crack on but she said on phone they've all come back ok. We're going away for 5 days after so hopefully we can get a bit of a plan or discuss next steps and then think about everything while we're away.

chlo how many mcs have you had? I had two, both technically chemicals - one at 4+2 and one at 5 weeks. I'm 6+5 today so feeling more confident but still so nervous (partly why still lurking here). GP has referred me for early scan next week due to the previous losses, and I have hypothyroidism too.

I don't think there's anything wrong with drinking while ttc or in the tww (as long as not to excess). The early chapters of Expecting Better (great read) really put my mind at rest - id recommend if you've not got it already.

Sorry about af skipper xx

I've had two, one very early on, literally the day after I got a bfp and one at 11 weeks. I had an ectopic years and years ago which is why consultant said I could have tests done. They were 16 months apart so think that's also why she said about tests, as some of the things that show up can also affect ttc? I think that's the gist of it anyway.

Can totally understand you feeling nervous. Good that you have an early scan arranged which can hopefully put your mind at rest a little. I desperately want to get pg again in one sense but also feel scared in the other. I feel sad that i won't ever have that naive pregnancy feeling a lot of people have but it'll be worth it in the long run. It does change you, I don't think I'd ever put a scan picture on Facebook or make any public announcements but then it's not about all of that anyway is it, it's about the baby at the end.

Haven't read that book, will have a look thanks

You girls who have suffered MCs are incredibly strong. I mean having no BFP whatsoever for over a year is tough but it's nothing compared to that. Get why you're anxious harriet but I think your body is ready this time xx

Hi you beauties.

I'm so sorry for all of you having a hard time. I want it so badly for you all. You are wonderful women.

Have had a good catch up. Sorry things got a bit heated, it really does just show how emotive this subject is and how there is no consensus on what to do, even between professionals. It's great to support each other through it and listen to everyone's opinions.

Also

1. Hormonal giraffe
2. Life's too short for low fat hummus.

😂😂😂

I'm sat in the airport ready to fly to Japan. Quietly panicking inside but very excited as well.

I'll see you all on the other side. Guessing there will be a new thread by then so I'll hunt you out.