Thread 27. TTC #1 - we're stressed, we're fed up, we're bitter but I promise this will all be worth it when we're holding our precious babies

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Cross post Harriet!! Hope you have a lovely holiday

Pug - my dad has said the near exact same thing to me and OH (he doesn't know I'm TTC). I wish your friend was sensible enough to realise it was something that was impacting you or she might have been more tactful. I would counter her arguement and say that as the most advanced species on the planet, it's everyone's right to have children now that we have the science behind it. Also, I bet she would still go get her jabs and medicine every time she or her family got sick. Same difference, why can't people see that?

Pug what an insanely shitty thing to say. I'd be tempted to delete them but I don't know the context of your friendship with them.

I've been in precisely the same boat as you with OH being depressed, emergency appts etc. If you need anything, drop me a PM.

Another thought on your shitty friend and to echo what everyone else has said Pug - if nature was having its way, half of this ladies friend group would be dead from TB, polio, the plague and whatnot! Not to mention the mortality rates for babies and mothers before modern medicine which were insanely high - every time people had a baby it was like rolling a dice to see if you survived

Echoing others thought here pug what an ignorant, shitty thing to say. I can't even really think about this too much as it makes me so angry. I would delete it and them too. Sorry to hear your DH is unwell and hope he gets help quickly. I don't want to get any hopes up but my recently pregnant colleague only HS once in FW too and was convinced she was out. Keeping fx for you.

Macs Kerry it's so true people just don't talk about it. To be honest I'm nowhere near ready to talk about it publicly yet either but I hope someday I will

Hurrah for no travel kwick please take care

Binky glad no AF still fx for you

Fx harriet do you think you'll test?

Yes I could ask the consultant kaydee - I'm also thinking about seeing if we can get this tested / sorted privately to speed things up. At the moment our follow up NHS is end of May - hoping to bring that forwards too... too much waiting !! 😩

Jam - why is your follow-up so late? Is there a waiting list for consultations too? Crazy.

Pug so sorry I completely missed the bit about your DH- hope he gets the help he needs and is feeling brighter soon x

On way to airport! jam not going to test unless I'm late. I have packed FRERs and tampons! Really not expecting bfp though as feel just like AF and totally different from when I was pregnant.

pug in my outrage about that comment I also missed about your DH - good luck with appt - great he's getting help and hope he recovers soon.

Pug, such a totally shitty thing to say and such a vile view to have. I hope that it didn't upset you too much and I really hope your DH gets the help he needs

Harriet, have a fab holiday!

It's so cold here, about a foot of snow and not looking forward to my slippy walk to work this morning. In other news, AF arrived overnight so at least I'm not stuck in limbo! Seems quite light so am presuming I never got round to ovulating this month.

Sorry Kath - I thought you had it this month xx

Ah kath I was really thinking and hoping it could be your month too. Sorry hon. Take care in the snow

Skipper I know! He looked through his diary and said okay 31 May is my next appointment... that was three months away. We just need to get DH SA done and then I will be calling daily to get a cancellation. So. Much. Waiting.

Jam - am I right in thinking your London based? I haven't had a waiting list for appointments (thank god), they are just making me wait because of the HSG. I think my doctor said there was a 3-4 month waiting list but I was seen after a month and I'm near you regionally, so fx it's sooner than you think.

Thanks Jam and Sk1pper. I knew at this point that pregnancy was biologically impossible so I'm just glad to get onto the next cycle. Every cycle is one step closer (plus it means I can have vino tonight at our dinner).

harriet not much to report, pretty sure im out, as last month spotting started 9dpo yesterday am, then stopped all day, back again this morning and seems to be stopping again. last month had 3 days of this before af. dont have any cramps yet though which i suppose is a good sign, just odd pinching feelings. have a lovely holiday! fx its not af on her way for you.

pug jeeze, some people just speak/type without processing dont they. Infertility is a medical condition in its own right and if we have the means to overcome it then why the hell shouldnt we.

sorry for af arriving kath but at least you know where you are now and onto a fresh cycle.

kwick hope your leg is improving, sounds painful, my mum did that last year, i think all she was doing was walking down a grass verge at the time.

When you say 3-4 months skipper is that for IVF? God I hope it turns out to be that fast. I'm in north London yes. Haringey is my CCG.

Yeah everything, consultations, IVF - doesn't seem to be as bad as my doctor makes out but maybe our waiting list isn't that long.

Sorry for AF kath x

I'm 7 dpo now and cd24, the day AF arrived last month so at least I'm not getting a repeat of that although mild cramping could mean she's imminent even though I've restarted vit b6 this month.

I thought i would test for the first time this month in case I've missed possible chemicals. I have some 10 iu strips cheapy ones -when realistically pick something up? I have had no spotting and no symptoms out of the ordinary so really don't think I'm likely to see a bfp.

That should have read "when would they pick something up

Hi girls so much to catch up on! I've had a lovely few days with DH (at the concert) and managed to forget about TTC.

This morning however I was playing with my hair in the bathroom mirror and I noticed three grey hairs underneath on the left side 😢 (didn't have the heart to check further). Cue a huge sobbing meltdown to DH. I couldn't hold back the tears because I've only just turned 26 and now I have 3 huge ugly grey hairs before I'm even a mum! I know my mum didn't get greys this young. It has to be this intense TTC stress I've been under? Idk. It's really knocked my confidence. I've always took so much pride in my hair as it's super long and thick and people comment on it a lot. I've never even dyed it once! I know some will think this is a silly thing to be upset over but it's a big shock. I feel old.

Pug that's one of the most ignorant and disgusting comments I've ever heard. I would absolutely delete that person. "Nature's way" is as silly as "God's choice". Hope it hasn't upset you too much. Sorry to hear your DH is having a hard time also

kwick OMG what a year you've had so far! Your luck has to change very soon, I just know it. Best of luck with finding a new job. Take it easy my love

Kathrino I'm so sorry AF got you but I'm pleased you can move forward now. Enjoy the wine and NYC

Binky hope it's not AF but I know what it's like to be in limbo. Sometimes getting AF is a huge relief, as ridiculous as that sounds! Hugs

Flash I rarely get ewcm in the tww. It's usually very white and creamy and I had a couple dry days last cycle. Any spotting since?

Hope you have a lovely holiday Harriet ☀️

Jam hang in there. Get the testing done if you can, kwick made a good point re. lawyers/fertility specialists. Glad your DH was able to open up to his friends and share their experiences. That's very true about not knowing what others have been through. We often just see a pregnancy announcement or baby and assume it came easily!

LSFX glittery and macs

Welcome Midnight and Kitty. I temp Kitty and think it's a great way to confirm ovulation and confirm luteal phase length. If you sleep well and wake at the same time each day it's easy to do. Daily OPKs take more effort imo but should pick up your surge. Definitely go with the relaxed and regular sex approach with DH, there's nothing to say you won't be one of the lucky ones.

Hope I haven't missed anyone x

Good news on the cycle length Winging, fx AF stays away. For early testing FRERs are the best but obviously expensive. I would test with a FRER at 11 or preferably 12dpo (depending on LP length). Cheapies can be inconsistent, they often claim to more sensitive than they actually are.

If it's any comfort, Alexia, I got my first grey a couple of years ago and haven't had one since...might just be a one-off? And my siblings have had a few since their early 20s but nothing really since. And even if it's not, it definitely does not mean you're old! Wise, maybe, given what great support you give to everyone here, but that's another matter

So I'm realising the downside to my partner being interested in Clue entries (aka "the love diary") is that he's now all over my cycle...asked me when period's due (followed by "here's hoping!")...which is totally sweet, but now feel more anxious about letting him down Bit easier to think he wasn't really paying attention :s

pug that's a pretty douchebag thing to say - think people feel that sort of comment is fair game because it's framed as concern for the future of the NHS. Not cool.

Have a great holiday harriet!

jam just saw your comment on that Aibu thread. I thought I was being unreasonable by feeling a bit miffed by the thread until I read the "miracle of parenting secret club" bollocks and then it just made me feel like crap.

pug what your "friend" said was shit. Fertility is a biological necessity. When that process fails, it is against the natural order of things and should be fixed. In the same way that people with diabetes are given insulin, and people with thyroid problems are medicated. As they are then "defective" should care be withdrawn? Of course not! Being a parent is a privilege but it is also a right, not to be reserved for those considered to be worthy, or who get upduffed at the drop of a hat, but extended to anyone who can conceive, carry a child, and care for that child, whatever the method needed to get there.

Alexia mines been mostly creamy/watery in the LP. Had super sore nips 5 and 6 dpo but now just normal sore boobs. Had pinky beige cm yesterday but then nothing. So the b50 is really a miracle worked. I'm 7 dpo and no bleeding! It's like I've got my life back. Also feel that it must mean there are no serious problems or it wouldn't have helped.

I also have creamy cm normally in tww although often get the odd load of ewcm once or twice late on.

Thanks alexia not sure I can warrant the expense of frer at this stage but should probably invest in some. As for 12 dpo,....that's a fantasy for me

pug what a truly horrid thing to say!!! I am appalled.

harriet have an amazeballs holiday!

kathrino snow? Where the heck are you?
Sorry about AF

alexia I hear you - my first greys knocked me for six. Welcome to the world of hair dye. Can give tips on home dyes?

In taxi on way home... knackered. Fricking hard work these crutches. If internet working I will work from home again tomorrow. Need a nice hot bath.