Thread 27. TTC #1 - we're stressed, we're fed up, we're bitter but I promise this will all be worth it when we're holding our precious babies

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Jam Big hugs to you. I know exactly how you feel. Have you thought about seeing if you can get any kind of counselling? The infertility charities offer help - fertilitynetworkuk.org/ www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/

I have those thoughts constantly too and find it difficult to pull myself back sometimes. I think it's really important to give yourself time to be sad (I think we're all grieving, at the very least, the loss of the idea that having kids would be quick or easy and trying to accept a new reality in which it might take years or even not happen at all). But, everything I read also says to try to keep doing the things that make you happy - getting outdoors, reading, exercise, etc, to stay sane.

Perhaps we need a thread meet up and group hug!

Thinking of you jam. I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I agree with Kerry in just accepting the sadness but also trying to keep finding things that make you happy. Keep your eye on the long game and count back from there. Look after yourself.

jam I'm so sorry. I think we can all empathise with how hard it is. Agree maybe counselling could help, but also there's nothing wrong with allowing yourself to feel sad about it. It is sad!

I've been down as well. Sure I'm out this month as last cycle I had symptoms by now and nothing. I told DH I was feeling upset last night and he basically changed the subject, then when I pointed this out to him he said he was struggling to feel bad because he still didn't think he was really ready! We had spent the day with a friend and her 3 week old who was just gorgeous so it really hurt.

Anyway, I am sure we will all get there eventually, and at least we've got each other in the meantime.

skipper I used to heavily sprinkle cayenne on scarmbled egg or onto a spoonful of yoghurt.... I hate the stuff!

7.35

Binky - 8-12 are the worst, I was crying a lot during those months. Particularly at the year mark. It's scary I'm coming up to 2 years very fast but feel more level headed about it all now. Hopefully you're journey isn't as arduous but if it is, I hope you find your TTC zen.

Jam - I feel like you need to have a good old chin wag with someone who understands exactly what you are going through. Coming on here is okay but we're limited as to how much we can help and it's nothing compared to face to face support. Are you able to get to the Doctors this week to explain? Please look after yourself xx

Sorry everyone has been feeling so low. :( My biggest advice is to isolate why you are feeling that way, some days are always better than others and you need to work out why. If you've started AF it will be hormones. Tell your hormones to go do one. It's Monday, and no one likes Monday so make sure you have something exciting to look forward to this evening even if it's eating your favourite food or watching your favourite show. It won't make the emotions you're feeling go away, it just helps you aknowledge them and get through another day.

jam I am right there with you but I still have hope that things will change and there will be a brighter day for us all.

So I have had a fricking awful morning - working from home to allow contractors to inspect works done last year in my flat. Was just getting settled in for marathon day of work, when at about 8.20 neighbours upstairs started screaming at eachother, bashing things and I was just so scared. I called 999, as I was walking downstairs to open door, something popped in my leg - absolute agony. Different neighbour helped me into a cab to go to hospital - where my mum - I love her so much - met me. I have ruptured my calf muscle - need to keep of leg for a few days and then in crutches for a few weeks. WTF!!! I am exhausted. Why the fcuk can't I just not have a problem for a while????? Anyway I am lucky not to have ruptured Achilees heel and at least it is temporary. BUT ALL THE FRICKING SAME

jam and kwick
assume you won't be flying for a while then kwick?

Am still kind of lurking. And think I will sign off this thread at my next birthday (May).

for those who want cheering up, can i recommend:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2873708-someone-was-just-very-kind-to-me

or the gardener/GEG thread from nocapes

kwick, what the hell? How did that happen...you're definitely due a break - hope it's not too painful

Jam sorry you're feeling low, it can be so lonely feeling like that. The others have wise words - and as Skipper says, the GP's there to help if you really feel alone

Nothing much to report other than it feels like an eternity to wait when I (think I) ovulated early...oh well, back to work

P.s. pyjamas great to hear you've moved forward, so pleased - no wonder you feel shattered, though...take care

@HepKestrel how are you my lovely?

Exactly WTF!!! Have ruptured my calf muscle. Am on crutches. Am to rest up for next 2-3 days then take it easy for next 4-6 weeks. I am still in loads of pain. What is fricking MORE my phone line and broadband are kaput.

Kwick - well the splint for my wrist came off today so maybe it's catching? Are you signed off work for a few weeks? Hope you're not thinking of going back after 3 days!

Oh no kwick so not what you need. Rest up!

hep I read that thread at the weekend and was sobbing! Heartwarming stuff but approach with caution if feeling teary!!!

So sorry to hear about your bad luck Kwick! Hope the calf feels better soon

Not signed off - hospital said I can do the 7 day self-cert, then see GP... hoping today it will be loads better... but no internet situation is an additional bugger - I am so behind with work it is not funny.

Ah kwick what an arse. Wishing you better quickly xx

Thanks for kind words girls xx

Kath I hope still no AF?

Kitty
Age 28
Cycle 1
CD 5

No f**cking idea about any of this yet, terrified of both getting pregnant and not getting pregnant! Planning on charting my basal temperasure every morning to get to grips with ovulation dates. No idea if it will help at all but not prepared to spend a fortune on the strips!

Welcome @Kittykat89!!!

You said it jam - fricking arse!

Just managed a bath - so at least I am not a stinky billy no mates.

Aw Jam sorry to hear you're feeling low. Hope you have some support in RL and feel a bit better soon.

Hep that thread is so lovely.. I had a read at work earlier and had a proper lump in my throat.

Ouch Kwick!! Did your calf injury come out of nowhere? What a pain - rest up and take it easy!

I spoke too soon about this being AF being better than usual.. I was in a lot of discomfort this afternoon/early evening , worst is over now though. It's been an odd AF I've had very little blood make it to pad, or even when I wipe, but there is plenty of blood up there if I poke about Sorry, TMI, I am just analysing everything my body does at the moment!

Thank you kwick! Sorry to hear you've had such a rough time, your calf injury sounds awful! Hope you feel better soon.

Sorry to hear you're feeling down a lot too Jam. That sounds familiar to me from what I now believe looking back was a bit of mild depression caused by too much stress. I really hope it's short lived for you and you feel yourself again soon.

I feel your pain Carley, 6 years of no periods on the mini pill and my first AF has been horrible!

Xx

Can I join you lovely ladies?

I'm 31, second cycle and CD 16. DH and I were "unofficially trying" last year but as were wedding planning and then getting married we weren't really putting a lot of effort in. That has now changed though. Apologies as I don't know a lot of the lingo. Can you tell its my first?

Welcome kitty

That sounds awful kwick you poor thing. Hope the pain goes away quickly for you.

Sorry you're feeling so down Jam, it's such a hard process to go through, I hope you're ok

I think AF will be right on cue tomorrow, cramping has just started...

Welcome kitty and midnight!

Sorry you are feeling so down jam. There's so much invested in this and it really takes its toll.

kwick that sounds so painful! Hope it heals up quick!

hep nice to hear from you. Will be very sorry to see you go if you do decide to but understand if you've reached that point.

Alexia as a fellow b50 taker, do you find you have a lot more cm. I am 4/5 dpo and have a lot of yellowish creamy discharge, which I would never normally get and thinking it must be the b50 as I also had lots of ewcm for several days, even more than usual.

Welcome Kitty and Midnight!

Thanks for the welcome guys! Anyone tried monitoring their temperature each morning and charting it to work out their ovulation date? Is it worthwhile?

Also... scheduled sex... any ways of keeping DTD feeling spontaneous now that it's about to become exactly the opposite?

Just catching up, currently stuck in traffic on the way from the airport to my hotel in Manhattan. Hoping I will be early enough to do a bit of shopping this evening. They're predicting a blizzard and a foot of snow here tomorrow...

No AF yet, Jam. Did another test before I left this morning though and it was another BFN so not holding out any hope at all. I'm sorry you're feeling so low at the moment, I wish there were some easy answers or quick fixes but I hope you manage to find a way to feel better

Kwick!! You are in the wars, it sounds awful. I hope it doesn't take too long to recover.

Welcome newbies!