#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome!

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Hoping, I'm sorry that it looks as though you had a chemical pregnancy. Its great that you're thinking ahead and have decided to go ahead with the next cycle. At least you know you conceived and implanted. That's a huge positive!

Pez, that might be an idea. That way, if it hasn't worked, I can still go... I know it's not entirely out of the question as my parents are planning to go within the next five years; I could always go with them. I wouldn't travel that far on my own, you see.
Great tip about writing down symptoms in the luteal phase. I'll be doing that, thank you!
How long left have you got of your tww?!

Miri, I can't believe you're 7dpiui already.. When did that happen! Another week to go; you both can do this!

Pickle, I haven't actually spoken to my gynae about TTC after the surgery. The last appointment I had with him was pretty rushed, and after he said he was going to do the laparoscopy I had the feeling he just wanted to ship me out. I'll speak to my clinic about it, because they're the ones that are actually doing the treatment, so they're the ones that will know timescales, if that makes sense?
Australia is planned for March 2018. So a long way off yet. I'd come back 24th March, so it'd be April/May before I even begin to start. That's another year and a half away. I don't want to wait that long!

Just wanted to send some bigs hugs to all those that need. Kwick and Hoping - so sorry to hear you news. You know we're all here for you and several people in the group know exactly what you're going through. Please do rant/cry/swear/whatever helps you on here. The whole process is such an emotional roller coaster and can be a b*stard at times. It is so unfair. You know we're always here for you. Big hugs xxx

Could you try and work out when the first and last time you could conceive is and then try in between (not sure when ur allowed to fly)
I would chat with ur clinic first to see when is a likely you'll be able to start trying.
Could you chat with ur mum about what to
Do?

Caution - time to start putting yourself first. Just make a start after your lap and see how it goes. If you don't you're likely to feel resentful re Australia trip and not enjoy it anyway. Australia isn't going anywhere.

Hoping - yes, after my first chemical I ovulated nearly a week later than normal (something like CD21 rather than 15). It was unfortunate as that month I'd taken a gamble and booked my flights and hotels for treatment in advance. I ended up in Denmark for 3 days and no ovulation!

After my chemical on IUI #3 though I ovulated as normal on CD15 or similar.

So the message I suppose is to track carefully but be ready to be flexible. This month will be harder to plan than others.

Generally you can fly uo to 28 weeks without any documentation from midwife/GP. After this time it depends on the airline, you can often fly up to 35 weeks ish with a letter from a medical professional saying no concerns. That said, I personally wouldn't want to fly that far that late. I flew to Canada at about 22 weeks, and back about 25/26 weeks and no issues at all, but to be fair I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and was quite small. Just got a bit extra tired. It is worth noticing there's additional risk flying when pregnant, like increased risk of DVT. You can help to reduce this by keeping hydrated and getting up and walking round the plane once an hour. It's probably worth reading up online and judging the risk yourself. I would certainly fly again whilst pregnant, but each to their own.

Thank you pickle, shoes & taydex.

taydex; that info is mega helpful, so thank you. I would work it out so I'd be about the 20 weeks mark going, and 23 week mark coming back - that to me would be ideal.
The only problem is, is my grandparents have said they don't want the added responsibility of flying with me/going with me whilst pregnant in case something goes wrong. I can understand their concerns, especially if I have a difficult/complicated pregnancy, and nobody can see that far into the future, so I guess I'll just have to wait. Only difficulty with that is were meant to be booking the flights this March, whilst they're cheap, so I really have to make my mind up whether I want to go or not.

Pickle, mum is probably the best person to talk to about all this, you're right. Just haven't had the chance to yet. I'm definitely going to contact my clinic when I've had my lap and see what they say; it seems pointless to do it beforehand!

Shoes, you're right. I probably won't enjoy Australia at all. And will be wishing my life away willing for it to come and be over with so I can make a start. And it would be amazing to go with my child, so my family could meet him/her. It's just letting down my cousin over there who's excited to see me (were as close as we can be for being 10,000 miles away!) and my grandparents...

Kwick, I hope you're ok my lovely and that you're looking after yourself.

caution I know you are worried about letting people down, but you need to not let yourself down either. You're a big girl, I don't know why your grandparents think that they will have to take care of you. You're an adult, planning on having a child. I just think that you need to put your own wants first. It's a hard lesson I have learned, and one of the main reasons why I'm now 37 and trying for my first. I've put so many others first. Just have a good think about how you will feel if you put off trying.

Agree with karen caution if they want you to come to oz then they may have to deal with preg caution . Write down ur options, write pros and cons for both and then make a decision. If this is what you want then there is always a way round it.

Thinking of you kwick & hoping 💐

Hate Valentine's Day even the tv only has sloppy things on....except hollyoaks where people died 😣

Mary Portas is playing heartbreak/break up songs on Radio 2 right now if that's any better?! I'm feeling fairly circumspect about it all this year.

Had my Day 21 prog blood test yesterday. Results by Friday. And tomorrow I'm going to my first clinic open day. Feeling like it's all surreal and I'm in a strange floaty denial about having to make big decisions but at least I'm making progress and fact finding.

Ooh which clinic are you visiting -tygr good luck with your results? Did your Gp do it for u?
I'm getting concerned about how light my AF is-still 5 days but worried about maybe I'm not ovulating so don't know whether to ask for this test. Although if I'm having a trigger shot I suppose the medication will do it for me :/

I do like a good Ballard song so I'd prob enjoy the heartbreak songs lol.
I was with a dr today who was saying how he thinks Valentine's Day is silly as if you like someone why wouldn't u spoil them everyday not just one day....very nearly said would you like to make babies 😂But then remembered I'm not fussed by that part 🙃

Pickle, do you temp? Temping will definitely tell you if you ovulate. My periods have been super light since I came off BC 5 years ago - I'm talking 1 medium flow day and it's over after 2, rarely 3 days at max!!
This was definitely one of my concerns when I started the process but they tested my uterine blood flow which is normal and my endometrium has always been the right thickness too. The doctor said I'm just lucky to have light periods (they're pretty painless too). I also learnt since then that my gran, mum and aunties have always had light AF too and all 4 conceived 3 children each, including twins and not a single MC, so don't worry!!!

I just simply ignore Valentine's Day!!! I only remembered tonight when there were so many men carrying flowers on the train!

And also you've detected an LH surge in a couple of occasions right? So the chances are that you ovulated!!
Don't stress before you start sweetie because it gets worse after 😖 (the number of thoughts that go through my mind since I started TTC is crazy)

Yeah, had it done by the nurse at my GP practice. She told me she conceived her first at 40, which made me feel better.

I quite often have those daydreams about asking male acquaintances for sperm!

I'm not doing anything to check ovulation yet (temping or sticks) other than I've been logging my period in an app since 2010 (!) but will see what they recommend tomorrow. I'm going to the Centre for Reproduction and Gynaecology Wales (CRGW). There are also London Women's Clinic branches in South Wales so I have options. I'm in the middle so it's a 90 minute drive down but I don't work on Wednesday so I'm going to make a day of it (although haven't really planned where I'm going yet).

pickle my flow was lighter when I came off bcp as well. You are likely ovulating. And if you are doing the trigger you don't have to worry about it anyway.

tygr glad to hear about the 40 year old. Always a concern for me and nice to hear those stories.

Thinking of you kwick and hoping

Thank you pez yes had LH Surge every month 5/5. I started temping in October but then fell of the horse when I had LH surge as didn't really understand difference at the time..... I've been temping since beginning of Feb (when I don't bloody forget) after reading what you'd put about ovulation and pregnancy
Yeh since come of the pill in September get 1st day barely nothing, 2nd day medium, 3-5 light too. Which is lovely but yeh just worries me! It's all coming very real and I hate when I don't know the answers. So thank you,really reassuring what you said xx
Hope it goes well tygr I really liked the info session I went to, found it very informative (altho have learnt most stuff from all you girlies)
Thank you lovelies don't know what I'd do without u all 💕

Thanks karen 💐

Hoping I'm sorry, so disappointing, was hoping that would be it for you

Pez and Miri good luck making it through the rest of the TWW. And you karen. Do we have two chances at triplets on the thread at the moment?! When I've said I'd like two, a couple of my friends have said how great it would be if I could have twins. I think it would be an absolute nightmare when you're by yourself, though obviously you'd just get on with it if that's what happened!

Caution I agree with Karen too and you're not really letting anyone down, even if it feels like it. Your grandparents can go without you and your cousin would probably be excited about waiting and meeting your little one. My friend always watches Harry Potter when she's upset too!

Pickle so much to think/worry about. I think once you get started it will fell better. I mean there will be new things to worry about but at least you'll be started!

Kwick been thinking of you lots. Hope you're managing to ride out the physical pain with some decent drugs and heat. I've always had really painful periods (like I can't stand up and drugs don't touch it kind of pain, albeit in waves), though fortunately much less so now, and one of the few things I've found has helped, which I discovered by accident, was breathing into the pain/ diaphragmatic breathing. I feel really shitty effectively advising you to breathe deeply for a miscarriage but it might help that bit of pain. You have my total respect managing to apply for a job at the weekend! I wouldn't read too much into the manager not being overly encouraging about applying, I think lots of people keep their cards close to their chest in that situation because they don't want to be seen to be favouring anyone.

Parking threads are a big thing on mumsnet! Sometimes the posters include a diagram of the parking situation.... I personally have AIBU hidden because it was draining my optimism about the human race yet I still felt compelled to waste time reading it. But there's loads of other stuff!

Shoes I saw that thread. I don't get how people don't foresee these potential issues but maybe not everyone thinks quite so hard about it! Interesting range of perspectives from other posters.

witch I definitely just want one! But I'll deal if it is more. Somehow. Now that I'm in the tww I'm all worried about the timing of my iui, if I actually ovulated, etc, taking the dogs for a walk to distract my mind.

Karen I think that's the tough bit with IVI. At least with IVF you can sort of see what's happening. I know I would have tied myself in knots waiting for the surge and stressing about timing. Nothing you can do now though so a walk sounds like a good idea! How's the puppy, are you getting any more sleep? My cat (somewhere around 3-5 yrs old) goes through phases of wanting to play at 3.30 am and he's very persistent!

That would be IUI!

HI witch. She is sleeping much better! Only getting up once during the night. She chooses to sleep in the sunroom where it is a bit cooler but during the night she trundles upstairs to wake me up to go outside. So much better now! I think that was a small taste of how a baby will be although you don't have to go outside in minus 25 degree weather to change a baby!

Aww, what lovely pictures!

I suppose because going with me pregnant, and flying a 22/23hr flight, they just wouldn't want to risk it. I don't think they'd feel like they need to look after me, per se, but they'd feel responsible if something was to happen because that's just the way they are. They were the ones that asked me to go, so in a way I'm "intruding" on their holiday, and I suppose because they're in their 60s, they don't want the added pressure. Can't say I blame them, but it should be my choice. Not theirs.

Pickle I managed to speak to Mum and she just ultimately said it was my decision. She said she knew how much I wanted a baby, and how well I've done in waiting/saving, and if I felt that strongly I'd just have to tell my Nan that I didn't want to go. I don't think my Nan would be so understanding though. But at least I'm telling her before we book the flights!
Good idea about writing down the pros and cons. I'll be doing that!
Don't worry too much about your AFs - it's if you dont have one that you need to worry about. I've never heard that a light bleed means you're not ovulating; I just think you're extremely lucky

karen molly is so beautiful! She's such a pretty looking doggy. Glad she's getting better, too... Puppies can be so hard, but so rewarding at the same time

Hoping kwick is ok. Not hearing from her is unusual but I hope she's taking good care of herself and watching lots of rubbish TV.