#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome!

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

pez what a thread - loved reading it, I want to find the other parking threads now!! ( I didn't know where they were either)

'You give good thread' I am proud of this compliment on your behalf! Yay love our group on this thread! Xx

Pez your thread is hilarious. This is what we mean, people get very invested in parking threads.

Normally people put then in the general topic called Chat (filed under Fun and Games if you're browsing the topic list) or Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) because they get the most traffic. I have AIBU hidden because I don't find that exposure to that level of indignation, reasonable or otherwise, is healthy! I reckon Kwick's tolerance is higher from working in HR!

I'm still giggling at the posters who seemed to think Pez has her own satellite or aerial photography drone and couldn't understand why the parked car was missing from the picture.

Ahah I also laughed so much as this comment hoping and the others** too! I'm planning on re-reading this thread on my next IUI when I need to laugh

Snork, what witch said reminded me that for my last IUI (which I hadn't planned to have so early in the week), i told my manager I was on waiting list for a specialist appointment and wouldn't know for sure until the following morning - he didn't ask for any detail. So that's another trick you can use
Witch, loved the 'going to a meeting' act ahahah. Now I've got this image of you getting to the clinic with just a notebook in hand!

Well it's certainly been a most entertaining day but it's time to go. Night all

I think even my app is tired - what's with all the bold!!??

Thanks shoes - forever the voice of reason

pickle that is very helpful too - thank you 💜

witch I am usually only a dog whisperer not such a friend of cats - you must have a very special cat. You hit the nail on the head - she has indeed injected doubt.
Yes they could screen with IVF but I only ever have got 1 egg with IVF and I really dislike the egg collection bit but I am not ruling anything out.

I have an initial counselling phone appointment this morning.

Hoping most of the great parking threads get deleted I think because too much personally identifiable info is shared... but if you search under "nicolarse" you should find at least one

pez you are a legend

So hard to keep up if it miss a day on the thread! Really must check out this parking thread.

kwick I'm so sorry. I think that you've been much more relaxed for iui. I hope your counselling session goes well. I think you still have options.

snork my work knows. I talked all about it with my first try but after my mmc I have become much more closed mouthed. I now only tell my manager and try to fly and under the radar. My boss was initially really supportive but a year in I think that is waning a bit. It's not a lot of time off. One day per cycle. The monitoring is first thing in the morning so I can get to work just a bit late. witch I love your going to a meeting act. ;)

Quietly whispering that I got a bfp this morning. It's only 11dpo. Early days, anything could happen. But I did break down and cry a bit.

karen I will pray with all my might that you have a sticky bean. Well done!!!

Counselling session was so draining. First question: how many children do you have?
She raked over past history, kept on asking if I wanted to self harm. FFS I just need some bereavement counselling! Maybe I should use clinic's counselling service.

Kept asking if you wanted to self harm??? Wow. Maybe using the clinic would be better. Hugs to you kwick

pez very funny parking thread! Had to laugh at some of the comments. Especially the frustration at not seeing the picture. Awesome diagram by the way! I hope your planting goes well. Glad you have another neighbour on your side!

Oh Karen - cautious congratulations lots of positive thoughts coming in your direction!

Kwick - it seems to be a hoop counsellors have to jump through, firmly establishing that you're not at risk of harming yourself.

Very tedious though. Sorry that it wasn't a useful session. The next session should be better because they will have ticked all those boxes at the first one and can get on with bereavement counselling without the distractions.

Karen fingers crossed the bean(s) stick(s)

Kwick another big cuddly hug from me 🐼🐻🐨

Hoping, what about you? When is your scan for IUI #2?

karen all appendages are crossed on your behalf!

kwick ok, change therapists quickly! Wtf, seriously? That's horrible. Xoxox

Ok, so today was the endo scratch. Imagine the most painful smear test you've ever had, then times that by about 50. Wow, wow, wow. Anyhoo, it's done now, let's hope that worked!

Meds arriving tomorrow, AF due Tuesday, and ivf round starts hopefully Wednesday. I'm ready, excited for a short protocol and just ready to get going!

Someone asked kwick'a question about iui v ivf.
Heres a point of view from someone who hasn't done an iui. I don't find ivf a hassle or all encompassing or scary at all.

You don't need to worry about the ovulation timing that you do for iui, it's all monitored for you, with scans every other day, so e.g. three - four scans in total. I found it fine.

The meds are are bit mindblowIng the first day you do them then it's all old hat. And progesterone up the frail are zero fun, but totally doable.

The egg collection is a bit ouchy, then the 5day wait to see which embryos made it to blastocyst is as bad as any waiting period.

So no, notmreally taxing, and honestly I would find the identification of my ovulation harrowing, as that totally stresses me out when he be done it before, utter nightmare. Give me ivf over trying to do that!

That all being said, its expensive, and my last one didn't work, but I hear round 2 is the keeper.... (fingers crossed!)

Karen, I have everything crossed and am sending positive thoughts your way.

Kwick, I agree with others. Counselling is meant to help you grieve and come up with coping strategies not for them to do a risk assessment! Sounds like they do it to cover their own backs. Not helpful!

Stork, hope you're not in any pain now. Thank you for your explanation of IVF. It has reassured me if I ever have to go down that route.

I went back to work today but am still cramping and have sharp stabbing pains every so often. Also now have a light brown discharge (sorry tmi). Never had the discharge before in my life. Still only 2dpo!!

Kwick, sending you all the hugs in the world. I hope you're starting to feel a little better?

Karen, a cautious congratulations! I'm praying you have a sticky bean, wouldn't that just be lovely 😍

How's everyone else?

I had a pre-op appointment today for a different surgery I'm having (wisdom teeth) and because I mentioned I had been under cardiology but was discharged with no diagnosis/nothing wrong found, they did an ECG to be on the safe side, and it looks like the left side of my hearts enlarged. A nurse took bloods; I should get the results next week. So I'm a bit worried about what this means...

cherry I think everyone is different and handles it differently, and I strongly believe that if you think you will sail through it, and that it will be easy, that it will be! If you dread it, it'll be awful!

I was literally injecting myself while chanting 'every cell in my body welcomes you!' to the drugs! And if you numb your leg with an ice pack the injections don't hurt. Otherwise they 'can' sting like a b!tch!

And actually the pain has just started up again, painkillers to the rescue!

caution I hope everything turns out ok. I know it's scary but it's good that they caught it. Thinking of you.

Sitting in the re office, waiting to meet the potential new dr. Stressed because I have the puppy in the car and hate leaving her. Hope to get out of here soon. It's just a formality at this point. If this one doesn't stick at least I have the ball rolling for an investigation. Maybe exploratory surgery would be next? Make sure everything is actually normal in there?

Karen whispered congratulations! That news really made me smile. Sending hopeful vibes across the Atlantic.

Kwick that counselling session sounds very odd. It's not normal or necessary (or indeed sensitive!) to open with a question about children, or ask repeatedly about intention to self harm. A more appropriate opening would be to ask you what had brought you there and then hear what you had to say. How did you find the counsellor? The clinic's service would probably have more fertility treatment experience but any decent counsellor or therapist could be provide a better experience than the one you've yet had.

Stork thanks for sharing about the scratch, hope the pain subsides soon. It was me who asked Kwick about IVF v IUI. I actually wasn't asking for myself, I've had IVF twice (minus the embryo transfer for now). I just remembered Kwick mentioning a couple of times that it was more invasive and so I was wondering how much worse she had found it. I think the potential egg haul would come into in because if there was only one or two you'd ideally just want them straight back inside you after fertilisation, without messing around testing them or even waiting for blastocysts, in which case you might as well be doing IUI.

Caution sorry to hear that, it really feels like you're in the wars at the moment.

Cherry hoping your pains turn out to be a positive thing. Must make it even harder to concentrate with that going on.

Eek karen hope that second line stays.
My LH surge hasn't come yet....always day 14 so now so so happy that I'll be taking the pill to sort out AF then other medications as this would be freaking me out.
My annual leave for May hasn't been approved yet-freaking out that they are going to say no, god this really flares up my anxiety

kwick that is the problem with general counsellors, I remember my senior school teacher took me to samaritans one day and all they asked me was whether I was suicidal and remembered being so annoyed as that's all they seemed bothered about

caution sorry something else has flagged up, hope everything's ok in the end.

Hoping it was nice to see "friends" on that other thread wasn't it, I was proud too!

Kwick the cat would definitely want to be friends. He loves people and in some ways behaves more like a dog.

Pickle I would be stressing about dates as leave too. It's does always seem to work out for people on here. If not you're just going to have to be ill!

I will have a chat on Tuesday(5 sleeps to go!!)-they haven't refused it yet either just nothing 😫 It's either annual leave or I'll use the family policy and get the appointments off like I'm entitled too & come straight back to work but I would def question why I wasn't allowed if I wasn't!fingers crossed they just haven't got round to it yet.....eek!!