#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome!

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Caution it's hard isn't it? What I really liked about my fertility clinic consultant is that she made it feel like I had loads of time, so I had the chance to remember that I had questions, and then ask them!

Late I haven't asked my clinic about it but when I googled last night I couldn't find anything stating that you can write something in other than a name - it sounded like it just got left blank (in the UK). In particular, the idea that "father unknown" ever appears on birth certificates (at least now) seems to be a bit of a myth. I couldn't find any reference to writing anything like "donor conceived".

We probably need a Registrar to clarify, of if anyone has joined the Donor Conception Network maybe they could ask them.

Thanks for the update pickle sounds like you had a very good counsellor - you are one stel closer!

ever I really do not envy the decisions you need to make re: donor and the like. However I would say go with what you feel is right - I do not think in this case there are really any right or wrong answers.

Please no more GREGGS talk!!! I we t past a market stall called "crosstown doughnuts" this morning - they were just setting up... but I was tempted to hang around until they had stock...

Wow ever I thought 225 was max dose for Menopur

shoes how are you and littleshoes doing?

Awe thanks witch i totally get as excited about others appointments too. So glad we have such a good bunch to get us through this :)

ever will be doing medicated iui

Yeh pleased with how it went just back to waiting stage for nurses....

I've just had a rummage online and can't find anything to suggest that the certificate can state "donor conception" or similar, but this is definitely what the counselor told me! I am very confused now...

Latenightreader just rummaged through Mabel's paperwork and on her birth cert under fathers details its completely blank. Doesn't have an entry for either donor conception or father unknown. From memory they asked me and I think I said unknown, but it was printed completely blank. I was happy with this, but don't know if I d said could it read donor conception whether they would have done this or not. So probably not helpful, but just what happened in my case

Everhopeful - I think any decision you make will be the right one for you. I am in awe of your strength.

Am currently waiting for AF to arrive. I think I ovulated really late last month and am now 4 days late. It's typical as I have been clockwork since I started tracking in October and now the important month has gone all crazy. I'm sure it's due to anxiety but not sure what to do to stop this. Am now having crazy thoughts that I will never come on!

Caution - congrats on all the hard work!

I've had another look today at the process for registry of the birth with the French authorities and it definitely asks for a signature of the dad to confirm the child's given surname. It's on the 'special' form to declare children born from unmarried (I.e. unlawful) people, how antic is that!!!
I guess that's only one example of the battles we'll face when filling in paperwork for schools, doctors etc. What I don't understand is that there's always been single mothers so is it that difficult to update forms?!

Late I couldn't find any evidence that the donor conception could be reflected in the British certificate of birth either

This reminds me that I read on another forum the other day about a mum who goes to a park every year on her son's birthday and together they release a balloon in honour of the donor. I thought that was so cute!

That is such a nice thing to do pez - I am going to make a note of that :)

Hi all!

witch so the endo scratch basically triggers a new uterine lining to be formed which is supposed to help the embryo implant. We shall see.

I had my day 5 pretreatment scan today - FC wanted to ensure all was ok 3mths post ivf failure, in preparation for starting next month.

So turns out my right ovary is sluggish, only 3 follicles growing. My left has 13 follicles. During ivf my right was performing better than that. This means that it might be harder to stimulate that ovary, but they are telling me that the protocol melds should take care of it...

caution bravo on weight loss, tres superb!

Hello everyone else!

Kwick - all seems to be well here thank you My only baby related problem is a headache over buying a car seat and pushchair but it's so very dull that I won't bore you all with the details

You've got another scan coming up next week haven't you Kwick?

I've actually been keeping up with the thread all week, but I wrote two long posts which Mumsnet chewed up and spat out without them appearing on the thread and I had a paddy and didn't write them out again I can't remember what they were about so they can't have been very interesting!

Aw pez I love that idea, celebrate daddy donor day :) I think I would want to do it on the day I had the iui

Hi shoes glad all is well :) is the headache just about choosing out of the million options? Or more complicated. Should go to local morhercare, my friend went to one of their baby evenings where they go through all different things, car seats etc and you get to try stuff out and push the buggies around etc
I have now taken to using the microphone dictating bit on my phone when I have a long post to write

Ah cherry that's bloomin Sod's law, our bodies are naughty,hope AF comes soon!

stork sorry about the sluggish right ovary, but as u say the meds should help. If the left was is behaving well tho wouldn't they be able to more eggs for that one anywaY? Having not any scans yet I don't really understand

So I got a phone call from the nurse yesterday afternoon and she said oh really want to get started let's book some stuffing so I said oh yes I get my diary out and explained that I had when I do it in March and then it all became too tight and stressful so I wanted to do end of April which they were fine with. They then said had I spoken to the lab to get the donuts sorted, I said to them yes I had but they haven't actually got any so I can't use your lab. I explain I've spoken to Brighton and had chosen the donor that was waiting for my implication counselling Before I was allowed to order anything also Brighton requires you to use the donor within three months and AF was due literally 12 weeks from this day so had to wait a few days before I could order so she put me on hold and then came back and said oh no we can't book in any thing until you sort that out . She said as soon as I've sorted it to email the lab so they can organise transferring it and then I can get everything booked in. I said do I not need to book in for any tests or anything like that before I get started and she's like no no it's all part of the package for iui but you have to have bought the donor first. So I was like okay I'll speak to Brighton so I rang Brighton and spoke to the lovely lovely lady there we discussed prices and she said including transferring over and things like that for one package it would be £1056 for the six drawer package which is three attempts I am including transfer the six-month pregnancy slot rather than the 3 months you get with a single package would be £2736 or she said to speak to my clinic because most require you to use one ml that actually 0.5 ML is sufficient for some people and she said to tell the lab that he has super sperm and then she could do a package which would include a six-month pregnancy slot still but you do only get three straws and all their coureer etc and vat for £1776 so I've emailed my clinic lab to see whether this is possible or whether it does have to be the one ML but either way I'm thinking the six-month package is good because my donor only has three slots left I don't wanna risk losing this donor as he seems. She said the donor came in yesterday and made her feel really lovely about something which I don't wanna put on here because it's Private what she told me but him it made him seem like the loveliest human being in the world also I like that I know what he's celebrity lookalike is so I can name him Donor Harry if he was daddy in the end and that way baby would have someone to say oh my daddy is called Harry even though they would understand he is not et cetera
So I am going to oversee wait for my clinic to come back but I'm going to look at figures and see whether I can afford the packages because I think although it's more money upfront there is a big saving as you don't have to pay different transfer costs extra VAT storage payments which she would each time the single package then at least in my head there's not so much pressure to get pregnant the first time I still have two attempts waiting and then obviously each month only have to find the money for the iuI and medication. Also with the payment I have to pay to my clinic to store it also includes three years storage so if I did used it all up within the first couple of months then I get £200 and something back or if I don't use it in the first year I've still got stuff there waiting for if I did decide that I want to try for a sibling in a couple of years.

So waiting to hear from my lab and then hopefully on Monday I can book donor Harry yayyyyyy

(Sorry VERY long post xx)!

Hahahaha sorry donuts is meant to read donor!!!!

Wow Pickle, you're making good use of the dictating functionality
It sounds like you thought a lot and looked at all different options so just follow your gut and book it if this is why it's telling you
You'll definitely feel a massive step closer once you've done that!

On the Donor's celebration subject, I read some people do it on the IUI day but it is more complicated for the kids to grasp, at least until they understand conception. I will definitely want to do something to honour my donor; taking a trip to the donor's country of origin will be one of them; I don't know if the ESB have got a sibling registry but I think it would be nice for the little one to meet his/her half siblings if they don't live too far.

How's everyone weekend so far? I'm taking a lazy one today, went to yoga this morning, took a long nap in the afternoon and I'm staying home tonight. I'll try and do something nice tomorrow but money is a bit sparse at the moment (due to cost of treatment) so I'm trying to stay away from too many temptations!

pez I know wrote a bloody essay

I'm getting another frigging cold so don't feel great so haven't even got out of pjs! Just a contact lens check tomorrow and then I'll be back in pjs!!!
I know what you mean about lack of money 😫

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend :)

pickle what is this dictation functionality of which you speak?
If you can definitely buy the magic potion you want in bulk - having some in storage will put your mind at rest

I had a lovely day - my friend drive us to Eastbourne- we had a nice lunch and then saw Rent on it 20 year anniversary - this is the 3rd time I have seen it in theatre - first time in London 20 years ago, second time a few years after in Spain and now. LOVE IT!!! Cried ahead of sad bits as I knew what was coming!
will I lose my dignity?
will someone care?
will I wake tomorrow?
from this nightmare?

kwick see next to the smiley face in the keyboard bit of picture-the little microphone symbol. It's on the iPhone. Helpful for essay writing holds head in shame for the length of my post
Yeh I've been working out my figures this morning and I have enough to pay for 6straw (3cycle package)& then time to save up for 3 cycles in a row before would have to take a little break to save up more but knowing I can do 3 with donor Harry will ease the pressure :)
Thought about it a lot today (as u do!) and even if clinic said could do 0.5ml instead of 1ml I don't know that I'd want to do it as why would I risk a lower "dose", I think I'd be worrying it wasn't going to be enough even if he does have super sperm

Glad you had a lovely day in Eastbourne-that's where I did my degree

Pickle, I've just checked and the straws I use are only 0.5ml. I haven't read anywhere I should use 2 but I'll ask the clinic next time. I had 23million swimmers in my last sample and as they don't have to swim too far I would think this is enough (IUI is used for couples where the male has low sperm count as it reduces the distance to cover, ensuring a higher number make it to the egg. I've read of cases where it works with only a couple of millions to start with)

Sorry if I'm confusing you further! Mind you, if you can afford to use 2 straws per cycle, that's probably best

Ha ha Stork that makes a bit more sense than my image of them scratching out a little burrow for the embryo! My consultant told me that if you have a very large number of eggs then a larger proportion of them tend not to be mature. So your sluggish ovary might still be doing a good job of producing decent eggs. Though as you say, once the follicle stimulating hormone starts it could all change anyway. I was still lurking when you had you last collection - I had a similar number/ proportion collected/fertilised/reach blastocyst stage and I was also disappointed with the number that made it to blastocyst, though I was lucky that they could be frozen.

Pickle I loved the donuts typo. Your microphone knows the audience on this thread.

Shoes glad it's going well. I'm already having a good look at pushchairs I pass on the streets, may be slightly obsessed!

I like the idea is finding a way to celebrate the donor. Haven't thought too much about that yet.

I'm on holiday this week so my weekend started with an early flight. Am currently more excited about having time to sleep than the prospect of snowboarding!

🍍🍍🍍

Haha I can't find the microphone
But realised I can use all my normal emoticons I have on keyboard and there is a 🍍

Sorry been lurking last few days this TWW is tough. Not expecting any symptoms yet but also sad not to feel anything (7dpiui) only thing I've noticed is bad constipation but not sure if related or not 😐 fx for little one still👼🏻 so I can be 🤰

Hehe did someone mention 🍩🍩🍩

Ooh no that's good to know pez thanks, what clinic are you with again? It would save me £1000 if could do the 0.5ml option but got to check with the clinic what their policy is on the matter.
I've filled out all my forms tho so all I need to wait for is the answer to this question then I can have my donor ticked off the list 😁

Ah hoping it must be torture, half way there.

Lol it would be so much cheaper if it was 🍩!!!!
Have a lovely holiday witch

Hoping, you're half way there and don't worry about not feeling any different at this stage, it's normal!! I was getting all my symptoms from the progesterone last month so not sure which situation is best...
The TWW is atrocious but I can't wait to get started again (I have my first scan booked for Monday)
Are you going to test yourself or have a beta booked?

Pickle, I'm with Create, but I think the 0,5ml rule is pretty standard. Although I know Create recommend 2 vials if the samples are below MOT10.