#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome!

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Hoping, the core doesn't taste nice doesn't it? I found it quite bitter. I read that it's best eaten on an empty stomach so I had mine as an afternoon snack
I'm still weighing the pros and cons of the progesterone supplements and the main con for me is that it gave me so many pregnancy symptoms last month that I was convinced I was pregnant. all symptoms I googled during the TWW were a perfect match so I found the outcome a bit harsh! At least without the progesterone you will know the symptoms are real

Whatslove, Pregnacare conception delayed/stopped my ovulation but that's only me. I started buying folic acid and vit D separately and all is well. All other vitamins I get from a well balanced diet and fertility food. I've never eaten so many mussels, peppers, asparagus, salmon, avocados, Brazil nuts and pistachios in my life - good thing I love this stuff!

Yes someone had taken pregnacare and it delayed there ovulation.... I can't remember who...maybe pez??.... I have been taking folic acid and vitamin d for about 45days, feel a million times better on them both so will definitely speak to someone in the future about whether safe to continue forever

Awe thank you hope it goes ok. Driving straight to my sisters afterwards so may not be able to update straight away but will let u all know how it goes.

Ooh hoping 4 days already- in one way it's gone quick and in another seems like forever ago

That is lovely caution!!! And it will be so motivational also. Best of luck with Dr today.

pickle!!!!!!!! Wishing you loads of luck too!!!! So exciting!!!
Implications- is about talking through half sibling possibility, what will you tell your child, and others. It is not about passing judgement on you - just making sure you have considered implications of using a donor.

hoping I hope kwicklet is ok - mild cramps continue on an afternoon, nausea throughout the day, starting to get spots - all of this I am taking as positive signs. Next scan in a week.
Toilet seems ok - cleaner is coming today so I am a bit nervous as I think it was her that did the damage last week - I have managed to tweak it so cistern does not overflow with water but have had to remove ecobag
Yummy cheese and pineapple!!!

SERIOUSLY GOING TO HAVE A BREAKDOWN!!! Only just arrived 😫such awful traffic! I rang through and cried 😬took me nearly 2hours

Oh no, how stressful, DEEP BREATH pickle. How did it go?

Hey went well after all that stress! Just got to my sisters but I will fill in later xx

Thanks kwick! I'm hoping it'll be motivational I think it will be.
Thank you for wishing me luck. It's precisely 3hrs and 35 mins til my appointment - bricking it

hoping thank you!!! I'm just hoping my gyno will be pleased today

pickle; I'm glad it went well after all the stress of arriving a few mins late! What a palaver! Can't wait to hear all about it xx

TIME IS GOING SO BLOODY SLOW.

pickle you cannot leave us in suspenders like that!!!

caution just do not do like me and get suckered into Greggs... at least I did not succumb to doughnut siren call...

Haha kwick that made me laugh

All is good!! He was really happy with my weight loss and has booked me in for surgery on the 22nd March. Just a waiting game again now! had a mini pre-op assessment done today, but going to get a letter through the post for a proper one soon. Phew, thank god that's done!

Welcome whatslove!

I am picking up some good tips for injections - I have my training appointment next Wednesday! Frustratingly I am pretty certain AF will make an appearance sooner rather than later (if don't start before the 11th I can try this month) so am resigning myself to another month before I start.

Now I really want a Greggs doughnut...thanks for that kwick!

Yay caution!!! This is great news!!!

late sorry 😬 did not mean to cause widespread hankerings!!

Luckily the nearest Greggs will be closed by now...

Amazing news Caution! You did it!!! Well done. 22nd march will be here quick and now you know it's happening so don't worry

Pickle, we want details!!

I need to add eating a greggs doughnut to my to-do list - never had one in the 6,5years I've lived here! A friend of mine also told me off the other day for never having tried a sausage roll from Greggs. This is not with this sort of behaviour I'll get nationalised

On this subject, I've already looked into the double nationality subject if I have a baby here and I'm bracing myself for some painful paperwork. I've seen that the French birth certificate translation form requires a mandatory signature from the dad! That will be interesting

pez given your lack of exposure with Greggs I feel deportation is imminent!!! seriously though I try and stay well clear of all bakeries as I love doughnuts, yum yums, apple turnovers, Eccles cakes...
Indeed that will be very interesting - maybe the donor clinic can sign?
Not really thought about birth cert - but I think it would be rather unfair to say "father unknown". Wonder if they accept "donor"?

I am feeling very heavy in my womble... hope this is a good sign!

Seriously pickle!!!!!

I eat a lot of butter croissants though, I love them

Yeah it doesn't look the administration with a big A is up to date on new family patterns. I wonder if a kid can have 2 mothers on their birth certificate? That would be harsh if not. If I can leave it blank I'll do that as like you I feel that 'unknown' sounds rather unfair and slightly wrong.

I only thought about it because I would like to spend time with my family shortly after the birth and to do so I will need a passport for the little one!!! Getting a British passport would be quicker but I would need to have sorted the nationality issue first which I expect would take a good few weeks at least. And to get a French passport I need to have the birth certificate translated first and then apply for the passport through the consulate which always takes ages and has to be done f2f too. It will be interesting to take a few week old baby in there!

I think my best bet is to beg my parents to spend some time here in London instead but I'm not sure how long I can handle having them around

And yeah definitely a good sign I would think!

Wow what a week!!

Have had de brief appt with Consultant Obstetrician today, started bereavement counselling at my daughters hospice, supposed to have a gp appt as well to be signed off again and to talk to her about things fertility. In this case GP had been efficient and signed the form and left on reception. She had failed to get me repeat prescription and I did want to talk to her. However she will now have received the letter from FC stating I am looking at another cycle in April or May. She may think that is too soon after such a devastating bereavement, but am 40 and a half with low egg reserve, thyroid problems and dormant endometriosis it really is important to me to re-try before I edge toward another birthday. Id love a new baby to be part of the life I shared with Mabel

Also had a bit of an ongoing saga with using same donor with another baby but Cryos says I can have the "pregnancy slot" its just whether my clinic feels their ethics are sound enough, and you can never get an answer quickly to give peace of mind. I know they don't test for zika virus but the genetic testing appears to be fine. They tell me he has 46 chromosomes and is genetically fine, which straight away made me think....oh its your crap egg.

My Consultant says 1pc recurrence in a new pregnancy, so that seems reassuring in one sense. However Mabel was the 1 in 5,000 live births with Edwards, to now be told well hopefully you wont be the 1 in 100. Its apparently the process of the cells merging to split into 3, rather than 2, not the cells individually and is a chance event. He is going to check with the Geneticist to check I don't need chromosome testing to see if am a carrier, and have some translocation gene, but it seems I wont.

It does make me wonder if the merging cells with the same donor might have the same impact, and should I just choose another (the clinic say this is also something to think about) but I would dearly love a full sibling for my Mabel and they are still saying minimal chance. Ah decisions

Consultant ended the meeting with we ll see you soon and have promised really robust maternity care (it was before tbh) but I would get an early scan, and could choose how often I saw Consultant. Would be classed high risk and be monitored carefully. However I HAVE to get pregnant to start off with.

Soo many difficult decisions to make. My egg, vs donor embryo. My gut instinct is say do another long protocol round of IVF with own, get to the point of EC to gauge response and if its super crap, just go to donor embryo in the summer. My clinic says IUI will be ineffective because of age and abdominal surgeries but in some ways I d like to try it to prove the wrong.

So need to prepare for this by spending some time every day commemorating my beautiful daughter and bring her along with me on this new journey.

Sorry have rambled on and on.

Hope everyone is well. I really must read the thread from scratch, catching up on the last page and I can see donuts and greggs sausage rolls feature widely as do what to put on birth certs. Caution glad your appt went well, and I ll pm you later. We share the same Consultant
Pez I found pregnacare delayed my ovulation. I am taking another multi vitamin and mineral supplement which has much lower levels of b6 (which I think is the culprit with late ovulation) but am still ovulating fairly late with this so am wondering whether I should do folic acid and vitamin d and iron supps only, and just up my intake of fruit and veg!?? Always so tricky and am just monitoring my cycles for general purposes at moment.
Have a flashing ovulation signal now, but yet am spotting as if period is coming on, so god only knows, could just be taking time to settle following birth.
Kwik cramps are a good sign, FX for next scan
I think I ll probably have to have implications counselling again if I go donor egg route, and the counsellor I had (attached to clinic) was a bit negative about the ethics of doing that, but then she did talk to me in a baby like voice, "your mummy couldn't find anyone to love her, but she really wanted you" Still pissed off with that appt of over a year ago

Sorry everyone for going off grid, I had poorly nephew cuddles all day 😔Poor little mite has his first cold! Literally just walked through the door as m23 was shut so had to wait to reopen

Soooo.....after my near breakdown of it taking so long to get there and nearly being very late-thankfully only a few in the end, I was seen.
Lady was really Nice she went through with me about implications, what I planned to tell the child, how they can contact that dad in the future, how you can go on the list and find your half siblings again later on in life. She said she had asked the nurse to contact me to go through the next steps are as I said I was quite confused and that I wanted a process map(!!!-OCD kicking in)I said that the consultant raised my hopes to make it seem quite easy and then when I Actually try to do it it's much more complicated. She said he has a habit of doing this. She said she would take this back to the nurse so that it can be addressed but anonymously. I told her about previous history of depression and she said that throughout the treatment you can have counselling sessions if you need it to help you through. I asked whether you had to pay for this and she said it was included in treatment for one or two sessions that could argue for more if they felt you met certain criterias and would fight for more for me if I needed it however if I needed a longer course then I should book that separately. She said that I'd obviously done my research and had everything planned and seemed to have thought a lot about it. Discussed what support I have, mentioned you lovely ladies😁Managed to make it to about 45 mins until I cried and that cos I said I couldn't tell my mum (or don't want to,which is when the depression came out) she said the medication may push me a bit into a black hole if susceptible to that to make to sure to ask for help if that happens so can we dealt with rather than getting worse so really positive. So just got wait for the nurse really, I'm also going to email brighton clinic probably tomorrow if I get a chance and just say I'm still interested in the donor but because it is 12 weeks away I just need to play Russian roulette for a bit and then order so that I'll still be within the specified time limit you have to use it in. Looking forward to having another appointment booked in hopefully the test with the nurses so I have something to look forward to and not just 12 weeks of doing nothing.

Just having some toast and then I'll catch up with everyone else is post and comment hope everyone's day went well.

pez def try a greggs sausage roll (if not veggie 😳) they are AMAZING!!!

Hope all ur symptoms are positive kwick!! Maybe phone the clinic tomorrow to discuss?

Ooh late good luck with the injection training, looking forward (yes I'm weird) to ticking that off the list of things to do on my journey.

Good news caution glad surgery all booked :)

ever glad you've started your counselling sessions,that's good and puts you in good sted to help u along trying again. I'm totally with you, I would want to try again asap too especially if felt I was running out of time

Pickle thank you so much for your encouragement
Sorry you ve had an emotional day. I found that implications counselling really difficult and I had done my research too.
Are u looking to do IUI or IVF in 12 weeks? Apols for not taking time to scroll back in this instance. In terms of the medication at least for IVF, was told of the horrid symptoms I would get, and apart from a few hot flushes and some soreness around injection site, I had nothing at all. Infact the buserelin spray for downregulating made me super happy. I was on a v hefty dose of menopur (450iu) too. 12 weeks will be here in no time, hang in there!!! x

Catching up...

Pez glad you got your progesterone questions ironed out, sounds like a very reassuring response. I suspect when the time comes I'll be spotting symptoms regardless of what I take and will be gutted with a negative test even if I haven't been able to convince myself I've got symptoms - not sure there's a way around that, it's the hope that's the killer!

Stork great you're getting going again! Does the scratch kind of give the embryo an easy place to burrow in, or am I imagining it too literally?!

And you Miri, you and your wife sound like a great team. I couldn't let a partner inject me I don't think, not that I had anyone on hand to do it!

Kwick haven't had skips in years. Last time I was in the pound shop I came out with Nik Naks though! Your symptoms all chime with what I read on other threads but I don't suppose it's going to be any easier not to worry for a while. You and Pez got me wondering about the birth certificate so I looked it up. You'd leave it blank rather than write unknown. And yes both mums can have their names on there: https://www.gov.uk/register-birth/who-can-register-a-birth

Tygr well done for getting appointment booked. I just decided it was too hard to organise via my GP and coughed up the money at the clinic for an easy life! Hope you're feeling better, there are so many bugs and viruses about this winter.

Caution you're doing great with your weight and I'm sorry your family aren't more supportive about it. Great news on how your appointment went, this last month has flown by for me so hopefully the next couple do for you. Has it put your mind at rest about your symptoms?

Welcome whatslove! Agree with what the others said about those with fertility issues being rolled into the success rates. Also, it routinely takes couples having regular sex months to conceive so the odds kind of make sense in that context. If it does come to IVF I had the same concerns as you and actually it's been fine, really nowhere near as bad as I expected (have only done egg collection, no embryos back in yet). Good news re your ages, wish I was 28/29 although I was not at a good point for having a baby at that age! In that respect I love getting older, I'm getting better at life, with practice I took a similar approach to picking a donor.

Hoping hope the wait isn't dragging unbearably.

Ever good to hear you're moving forward too. Hope the bereavement counselling was better than the implications counselling - she said what??!!

Pickle so glad your long awaited appointment went so well! I think I was as excited about yours as I was about mine!

Morning all!

The birth certificate is an interesting one. My clinic told me that it would either be left blank, or you could put 'conceived by donor' (or words to that effect, can't remember the specifics). I have been leaving the decision until I actually need to make it, but I can see both have good and bad points...

Has anyone else been told this?

Thanks all!! I'm so glad my surgery is booked - and I'm even more glad that it's sooner than I expected. It's only 6 & a half weeks away - he wants me to continue losing weight, which I'll be doing anyways.

witch, it has, but we didn't get to speak much about my symptoms. He kind of breezed over them. He's prescribing me something for problematic periods, which doesn't help because by the time my drs get the memo I'll already be on my AF, and then I'll be having my surgery, so it seems like a waste of time. I'm not good with voicing my opinion with consultants.

pickle your appointment sounded quite jam packed! Are you happy with how it went?