#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome!

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Oh pez I'm so sorry to hear about appointment , I'm glad they hugged you but it does suck doing this journey alone. I know despite me trying to manage my expectations I will probably feel the same as you. Another big hug and I hope advice and experience from others that soon you will be in cycle 2 and soon be a parent will ring true for you, me miri and her partner and everyone else on this thread xxx

miri sorry to hear news of BFN as well big hugs to you and your partner xxxxx

I was meant to say it sucks sometimes doing this journey on our own xx

kwick nope, didn't have no blood tests. And I've only ever had one scan, which was last March...! I know it's silly to worry about it, but when someone so close to me is having a scare too, with exactly the same symptoms, it kind of hits home.

Ever, you're right, I know you're right, and that it's likely to be endometriosis.
I also suffer with bloating on & off, loss of appetite, one sided pain (which is predominantly left side), backache, spotting in between periods and constipation (sorry, TMI!)... And of course, really heavy, and really painful periods. These are endometriosis symptoms... - right?
Just can't wait for the surgery to be over & done with so I know for definite what's causing all my odd symptoms! X

I have a right mind to go to my GP on Monday and ask for the CA-125 test.

Caution if it gives you peace of mind, then see if they will test. I had a friend who similarly wanted this ruled out, and it was.
And classic endo symptoms to me!! R u having your surgery at Northampton General?

Ever, I'm not sure whether to wait until Thursday til I see my gyno or whether to go to my GP Monday it seems a bit silly to go Monday, like I'm going overboard, so I may just wait until Thursday.
I'm glad your friend got it ruled out for her though... That's great news!
Glad they sound like classic endo symptoms! That puts my mind at rest!
When I originally got referred to the Dr Von Widekind, I had the choice of seeing him at Three Shires or NGH - so I opted to see him at Three Shires. So I presume I'll be having the surgery there??

pez and miri I'm so sorry about your bfns. It's so hard, especially when coupled friends talk about how they tried for only 6mths... that's 6 try's for us! Each one of our rounds is so precious. Xxx

caution fear not, worry not. Knowledge is power and beware of bad manifestations! PMA works in lots of ways. A calm head is needed now. But here's a virtual hug if you need it! Xoxo

Caution I guess it depends on whether you can get an GP appt so quickly?. A few days isn't going to make any difference. I have to await a phone appt from mine next week to have me signed off again. I have no choice but to be on incapacity benefit due to this grief. Its making me feel like a sponger, but I cant work and I'm self employed so its tricky.
Definitely classic endo symptoms.
Mr Von Widekind is my obstetrician, and funnily I am seeing him on Thursday to discuss what happened with pregnancy and whats next. I know he runs an ante natal clinic in the morning so am guessing you see him in afternoon in his gyno one? He s a character, have you met him yet? I am also going to mention my own endo and see what his opinion is on that remaining dormant.
Interesting you got a choice of Three Shires? I ve heard that some surgeries end up there. Did I read you have actually been told to lose weight before a laparoscopy? I cant understand that because if you had a cyst that ruptured they d have to perform the surgery. Not that in any way that is going to happen to you, I really hope you don't have to wait long.

stork; you're 100% right. A calm head is needed now! I am calm, just can't get rid of the niggle now. Thank you for the virtual hug - was well needed 🤗

Ever, funnily enough, with my GP surgery, you cannot book in advance. You have to ring up on the morning to get in same day... If you want to book in advance, you have to wait three to four weeks. I could probably ring up on Monday and get in to see my usual GP, who has known me since I was 8 and is a family friend, so would probably do any tests I ask. Always handy, especially in this whole solo-motherhood trek!
Please, please, please do not feel like a sponger. If there's anybody worthy of incapacity, it's you!!! Grief is a tricky thing, and losing a child is heartbreaking. Everybody and anyone understands that, and giving yourself time to heal is the most important thing. If the state can help you, let them. Especially as you've put so much into it beforehand.
What are you self employed doing lovely?
Really?! How funny that were seeing him on the same day! Are you seeing him at Northampton General? I am seeing him in the afternoon - I'm seeing him at 2:45pm. I have met him, yeah - I find him funny and think he's lovely. Did you previously say that you had surgery for your endo? If so, did Dr Von Widekind actually do the procedure?
I did, I got a choice between Three Shires and NGH. Obviously I chose Three Shires.
I'm glad they sound like classic endo symptoms. That's put my mind at rest!
Yep, Dr Von Widekind told me that to perform the investigatory laparoscopy into endometriosis, I'd need to lose a stone. My BMI is 36 - he wanted me under 35 because of the risks. You're right though; if I had a burst cyst, they'd had no choice but to perform the surgery. I think it's because when I had my appendectomy in March '15, I bled out quite a lot, and it's obviously in my notes that I bled out.
I've lost a total of 8lb recently (10lb all together, since November) so technically still have another 4lb to go before Thursday hopefully I can do it! If not, I'll just say "I've tried, you can see I've tried, can't we just book the surgery and I'll lose more before then?"... I think that's a good compromise

Oh, ps; I've messaged you, ever, xo

miri and pez so sorry about the bfn news totally sucks!!!
hoping did u book iui for tomorrow in the end? Good luck sweetie!!
caution appointment is at 9am, how bout you? Please try not to worry, ovarian and bowel cancer have symptoms that most of us at regularly. As kwick said, did they do blood tests? If so any sign of cancer would flag as markers in normal blood tests so try to put out of your mind.
kwick on the cold front,doing much better,only few symptoms remain on ibs front my stomach feels like it has been ripped open-I have another 2days of pjs and tv planned after I've done food shopping tomorrow.

Sleep well all and take care xx

pickle - ooh I'll be thinking of you & checking MN every hour til you tell us how it went
My appointment is at 2:45pm.
Nope, I've had no blood tests done. None at all through out the whole year duration that I've been under gynaecology... Which does seem a bit conspicuous now you mention it. x

Pez and Miri sorry about your news nothing else I can say really, is there? Look after yourselves over the weekend.

Good luck hoping.

Ever you can pretend your eve fits are coming out of my taxes if it helps, because I absolutely believe that is the kind of thing I pay them for!

And Caution it's really unlikely that you've got cancer but it sounds like you can rule it out very quickly. Your symptoms sound horrible regardless, I hope the surgery helps x

Caution - sorry you're worrying. It's good timing that you're seeing your gyno on Thursday. I would imagine the GP would be able to do very little to investigate on Monday anyway so I'd be tempted to hang on until your appointment on Thursday when you'll be seeing the right sort of specialist anyway.

Ever - please don't give taking incapacity benefit a second thought. Your situation is thoroughly deserving of it and it is crucial that you have the time you need to recoup. In the long run it will be better for everyone - you your future child(ren) and the taxman - if you don't rush things now and ensure you deal with your grief as far as is possible.

I shall be merrily 'sponging' off the state any benefits I am eligible for to support my child while I'm not earning enough.

I think we all here sound as though we have worked hard and have contributed plenty to the tax system over the years. Don't have any qualms about those taxes then being used to help you from time to time!

witch - I know it's highly unlikely, but when someone so close to me has the same symptoms and is being tested, it kinda hits home!! It's not necessarily worrying, as such, more a niggling. Thank you for your kind words. I hope the surgery helps too! 😜

Shoes, that's exactly my thinking. The only thing my GP can do is do the CA-125 blood test, which is the ovarian cancer blood test, and I'd get the results quicker through him than I would through my gyno; but you're right, the specialist can do and can offer so much more than a General Practioner can. I'm going to wait until Thursday, and express my concerns to him but in a round about way so I don't sound like a wacko.

Wow how much chat after I went to sleep?!

caution I would wait for Thursday.

But stork you make a good point. Normally couples have to TTC for up to 2 years before fertility investigatins kick in. I am on a number of other threads where "natural" methods are used and despair sets in. With us, yes we are getting the best chance possible, but it is still just a chance.

ever please do not think you are "sponging". You are in a time of need.
I see shoes has weighed in with her usual wisdom so eloquently put.

pickle your IBS sounds awful. I am not sure how that can be treated - maybe it will correct itself once you are preggers later this year.

I am watching the Eurovision You decide... who are we trying to kid? We are not popular at the best of times in Europe and now with Brexit...!!!!

Not sure if I mentioned that my toilet broke yesterday? I had to swith off the water supply to the toilet before going to Paris, in case of flooding... anyway I turned back on this mornibg, fiddled a bit with the cistern and I REALLY hope I have fixed!
I defo need a new bathroom and to fix the artic conditions in my bedroom before kwicklet makes an appearance.

Had another awful night - numerous trips to toilet, coughing (I worry every time that will bring on a MC), and not so great dreams. I am just physically uncomfortable right now but cannot put my finger on what.

Spoke too soon about toilet

Oh no! I have had to resort to Pimlico Plumbers in an emergency and I have to say they were. Wet good.

What's the cistern doing?

Very good. No pun intended!

Oh bugger kwick get a Plummer out asap-you need the loo especially as going every 5seconds at the mo
My ibs is pretty much the best it's been in years- used to get 13hours of the most horrific pain where I would throw up from the pain and only place I didn't feel I was dying was in the bath, so would have to call
In sick quite often. Had all tests & ultrasounds, scans up the bum etc and the arse (no pun intended) of a consultant that I saw after said "it's only ibs what are you crying about" ummmmm.... pain=still there even if JUST ibs.
I know I can't tolerate milk or milk substitutes, bread (thankfully things like sandwich thins/Pitts bread are ok) certain sugars-artificial worse but any sugars, too much fats/oils, pastry...so basically yummy stuff! So sometimes I push it and then I get days like yesterday where I think my tummy is going to explode &I get all the pain back. I often think at least this pain is training for labour and hopefully I then won't find that so horrific but will def be pushing for a water birth as water is my best drug/pain reliever ever!!

When did pineapples become so small? This was the biggest one in shop!!

Good luck with getting the toilet fixed Kwick. What's the problem?

I was once woken by a loud bang followed by the sound of running water. My very fetching avocado-coloured (thus very old) toilet had cracked and split vertically down the middle. The bathroom was filling up with water at about the rate of an inch a minute. One of the more stressful moments of my life

Pickle - my mum and sister both used to suffer terribly with IBS. Both have had a reprieve from it in recent years. I think it's because they both gradually learned over time which foods they need to avoid and are quite careful about it. It's tough to have to avoid lots of yummy food though! I'm allergic to nuts, soya and palm oil which between them pretty much rules out me buying anything like cakes, pies, biscuits, chocolates, ready meals, bread from the shops. It's a right pain! I have to make my own bread or buy ciabatta or pittas which tend to be quite pure in ingredients.

Happy IUI day Hoping

That is a very mini pineapple! Or maybe it's an illusion and you bought a mini bottle of water and mini can of coke

Pickle, I feel your pain as I too have a bad case of IBS but fortunately it's has been managed for the past 2 years and now I only have to deal with some occasional flare ups.
Like you I did soooo many tests for it, I also did the FODMAP diet for 6 weeks to rule out any food intolerance and then was put in a 12month experimental CBT programme which has greatly helped I have to say. For the past 2 years I have been on a daily treatment and haven't bought any OTC laxatives. It used to be awful and drive me completely nuts but after 15years of suffering from it I've got it more under control. I'm not going to lie, when I get stressed, it does flare up again but this is nothing compared to what it used to be.
Are you taking anything for it? There's a general misunderstanding about how to treat IBS so it's worth seeing proper specialists (I went private to get it sorted).

Hoping, good luck with the IUI! In my Sainsbury's they have 3 different sizes of pineapple (I got a medium last time), might be worth checking if you have one locally.

Haha witch!!! I think it is okay for now - it is not leaking. I will get it sorted professionally but seeing as I am going to put in a new bathroom I was hoping it could hang on until then...

pickle please do not push it!!!

hoping great photo :)
Maybe eat 2?

When I TTC I got a mangey/off/tasteless pineapple for day 1, then I bought a nice one for the rest of the days.

Will be back!