40+ ttc: the one where we all get knocked up!

[ababsurdum]

Shiny new thread. Here's the link to the previous one.

I'm sorry, Fuzzy. What a disappointment after the good news of yesterday. TTC can be so miserable sometimes.

Fingers crossed for your positive ppl, Gizmojo. Sounds like your timing was good.

Clara I've no idea about phases, either, but instinctively think that you wouldn't ovulate until the egg was 'ripe', so to speak, so it wouldn't be a problem? But this is completely without actual factual knowledge!

Oh that's a shame Fuzzy...its v hard this sort of roller coaster. But all credit to you for thinking positive and looking ahead. Smart move on the multi cycle thing!!

Bloop hope you are feeling good and good luck to everyone else!

Clara I'd agree with Pies. I think going through the IVF has been quite an education!!! I didn't realise all the stages building up to ovulation etc. I think in order for ov to happen it takes certain hormones to surge at certain times, triggered by the dominant follicle. I don't think immature eggs are pushed out on a natural cycle. I could be totally wrong though.

Ah, we're fine. In the grand scheme of our lives, this is nothing. I know some women are in a puddle on the floor when it all goes to pot. A friend who I don't have much to do with anymore said that IVF was the worst thing she'd ever been through, and she got her healthy little girl out of it on her first try!!! Er, NO! I'll be visiting my sons grave tomorrow. It isn't the worst thing that's happened this week! We'll just wait for the call tomorrow to confirm that it's all over, and then call the clinic for our follow-up. I have no clue what sort of timescale we're looking at, but the multicycle plan is good until my 43rd birthday next August, so no rush. We'll keep trying naturally in the meantime. Maybe we'll catch one of that 20% of good eggs the consultant thinks I've got left!!! 😬

How's you Bloop?

Aww fuzzy I'm sorry to hear things aren't working out with this round of IVF but so many people fallnaturally after a failed IVF cycle. Fingers crossed it happens for you x

I'm ok I guess. Had really bad anxiety about mc all day. It's obsessive and I'm not enjoying it. I've no idea how to stop it. :(
These have been the slowest 2 days of my life. I really hope it's not all going to be like this

Big hugs to you Fuzzy that must be so disappointing but I can only applaud the way you deal with everything. You rock! Why is there not an emoticon for that...?

Bloop totally understand the worry and I hope you can relax soon.

Oh and as for me: despite literally all the good signs (ewcm, +ve opk and ov pains - which I don't often get) since Monday, my temp hasn't risen at all. And that's from a bbt that for some reason is constantly running about 0.4 degrees lower than it was pre-pregnancy and mc?? So maybe an anovulatory one for me this month. Ho hum. Will keep on keeping on (my OH), just in case

Bodies, eh, Gizmojo! Just a mystery. Well done for sticking with temping. I got brassed off with it after just one month. I don't sleep solidly enough to have a good few hours undisturbed, and I found temping buggered up what little sleep I do get. If I woke up for a wriggle at 4am, instead of rolling over & relaxing, it'd be light on, temp, record, bathroom trip, lie there wondering what it all means, etc etc. Nope. No good for me!

Bloop the anxiety is awful, and anyone who tells you not to worry has never been here. I'll tell you what a midwife at the RMC told me:- if a pregnancy is healthy, there's nothing you can think or do to end it. No amount of worry will harm it. Women have healthy babies in the most appalling conditions. On the other hand, if it's not viable, there's nothing you can do to change that either, so no amount of worry, Google, wrapping yourself in bubble wrap, will help or harm it. So, worry if you need to without feeling guilty, take breaks from worry if you need to, but don't get anxious about anxiety. It's normal, natural and it can't hurt you or your little bean xx

Fuzzy I'm sure visiting the grave today will be incredibly sad but I hope you get some comfort from your happy memories of your lovely little boy. I don't know, 20% good eggs left doesn't sound too bad. I'm sure I read somewhere recently that more than half of lifetime eggs are gone by puberty. A quick google search just now only pulled up Pokemon go references, so I'll try to think about where I read that.

Bloop the constant anxiety of early pregnancy is such a drain. I don't have a solution for you but am here to have a hand hold in solidarity. Just try to remember that a large percentage of pregnancies, even for us oldies, has a positive outcome. Fingers crossed you will, too. DH works in mental health and assures me that checking to make sure something you're anxious about hasn't happened only reinforces to your brain that it should be worried about that thing happening. So try to hold off on the knicker checking until you legitimately need a wee!

Gizmojo since temp rise is a lagging indicator maybe you're going to ovulate today and see the rise tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

ababs you were due on yesterday, right? I know you had the bfn, but any other signs since then?

I had a headache yesterday eve, which usually precedes AF (or ovulation of late, aging so fun) so we'll see what develops with my post miscarriage cycle. Or it could be the two glasses of wine at my work dinner last night. I may be milking this what the hell, I just had a miscarriage thing a bit.

Hey Fuzzy How are you doing this morning?

I know what you mean about temping - I tend to be a bit erratic about when I wake up but I've also found it doesn't seem to make a huge difference: the other day, I took my temp when I actually woke up at 5, then got up, walked around, fed the cats, etc etc and took it again at about 7.30 and it was only up like .1 degree or something? I started it so I could see whether I was actually ovulating but starting to feel like it's just another thing to worry about and maybe I should drop it.

That's so wise, the point about how worrying is normal and can't affect a healthy pregnancy.

Oops, x post with Fuzzy. Good advice there!

And now x post with Gizmojo. We're busy bees this morning!

Ha! Yes, it's a busy little thread! I'm here killing time while I wait for the phone to ring! Not expecting good news, but keen to know what happens next.

I visit my boy's grave every week. He's in a lawned cemetery and his headstone gets really messed up when they cut the grass. I can't bear the thought of people looking at his grave and thinking that he looks neglected.

Your DH is right Pies. I'm a psychological therapist by trade. I find 'worry time' helps - allow yourself half-an-hour of crazy. Google, panic, check, write stuff down, but then decide you've worried enough and do something to distract your mind (like clogging up a mumsnet thread... 😉) My personal favourite is Problem Solving. Make a decision now about what you will do to cope with the scenarios you might face. I got through my last mmc by planning to get the ball rolling on fertility testing & treatment. Worry is your brain's attempt to solve a future problem, so it can help to work with it.

Good luck ababs and everyone else. Hoping for more good news soon!

Hi all, I wonder if you can help.

I've had my blood test results last week after getting blood taken on CD2. I have a very light underactive Thyroid according to the GP, but everything else seems normal. They did a full blood count, too.

This morning I had blood running from my left nipple. I noticed it under the shower, and first thought I cut myself until I was standing at the sink and looked in the mirror. It was scary, and it didn't stop for the next 10 minutes. Just kind of gushing out. Hubby came running in and we both panicked.

I am currently waiting for a call back from my GP to see where we go from here.

I am on CD16, taking Maca for the last 2 months, and had my first positive on the OPK this morning, so I am not sure if this might be a reason.

Another thing though...My first positive on the ovulation test was 4 days late (usually on CD12) and I had a week of a lot of white CF before that . I have also been incredibly tired the last week or so. I have heard that Maca can make you ovulate early, so I am wondering if I might have missed my actual ovulation and could be pregnant instead. Probably just wishful thinking, but right now it's what keeps me from breaking out in tears. :(

Any ideas from anyone to keep the panic at bay before I talk to the GP?

pies and fuzzy thank you both - deep down I know you're right but I'll worry about non matching socks of a day ;) Stupid brain!

Hey mare, I'm afraid Ive never heard of that but please look at iateallthepies and mrfuzzygreen's advice to me above about worrying. It's absolutely brilliant. I wish you all the best and much love x

Thank you, Bloop. I have an appointment at the GP tomorrow but she said on the phone it is probably a harmless burst blood vessel.
I am still considering doing an early pregnancy test though.

Ah well. Looks like I'm back to good old fashioned ttc! Both embryos alive at day 5 but looking crap, neither made it to blast. Follow up consultation waiting list is 6 weeks, so we'll keep trying in the meantime.

Fuzzy I conceived my ds the cycle after ivf and was about 5 weeks pg at my follow up consult. Wishing you the same luck

It's been busy on the thread today, I'll do a quick update and then catch up properly later. AF hasn't started yet, it's likely I didn't ovulate when I thought. I did use my second pg test this morning but stupidly I'd not long been so there was only a trickle. Bfn but I think if I was pg there would have been something as the test is quite a sensitive early one (Wilco's). I can feel AF coming on so expect her today/tomorrow.

Bloop remember to breathe and when you feel anxious try and practice some mindfulness. It's really hard - I worried so much all through my first pg and everything was absolutely fine. When I got pg last year I was much more chilled out and I mc at 10-12 weeks. How's that for irony... . Anyway, you have my sympathy, I hope you can quickly reach some milestones and relax a bit.

Sorry to hear this Fuzzy.. Im wishing you the same luck as ababs had very soon. It's crazy to hear the stuff some people say (your friend ref her IVF..) I think you said upthread abt people you wd have expected to be great in this horrendous situation not necessarily being so and vice versa...

Bloop, I hope you are feeling ok. Great advice on here ref worrying that I think I'll find useful too.

Mare, hope you are feeling much better.

I'm 10dpo and feeling a bit nauseous which gives me twinges of hope but that's happened many times before for nothing and no other signs. So trying to ignore!

Good luck Clara. Hope your nausea is a good sign

Well, I read a book about IVF (His & Hers Survival Guide) which said: get the nurses on your side, because they're the ones who make it happen. Never a truer word. The PGS nurse & I had a right good chin wag when I went in for my retrieval. She phoned yesterday to say how gutted she was for us, and how frustrating it must be for us to have a long wait for our follow-up. Got another call an hour later to offer us a cancellation for this afternoon!!! Bonzer!

I went to the GP yesterday. No knots or anything and she thinks it was just a burst blood vessel and highly unlikely it is anything bad. But I am being sent to a specialist to get it checked out properly just in case.

It is very scary though. Imagine cutting yourself on the leg. That's the amount of blood that came running down my chest. :(

Hope the nausea bodes well, Clara.

Good news about the follow up appt, Fuzzy. Nice work chatting up the nurse!

Mare I'm so glad the gp thought things looked okay. That sounds so scary.

I hope you're hanging in there, Bloop.

Any further signs, ababs?

mare1976 sounds scary but great to get it checked out. Hopefully you can see a specialist soon and there will be no more bleeding.

Fuzzy great you can get your follow up appointment quickly. Hopefully they will have some ideas for a different protocol for you and you can get on to a new cycle soon.

Bloop I hope you're doing ok.

Pies I hope you're doing ok too. Are you waiting for AF before you start ttc again?

Hello to all the other new people. You're all very welcome, best of luck to you all - ttc in your 40's isn't easy is it?

I'm back on cd1, AF showed up in the night. I had a similar cycle in June where it was about 3 days late. Maybe this is a peri-menopause symptom for me? Both times I was fairly sure when I ovulated, but then maybe I didn't at all. Who knows. Anyway, back to it. I'm going for Clearblue digital dual hormone this cycle I think. I need to give it my best shot as there's not that long until my self imposed deadline of stopping ttc.

Ah, bugger ababs. Sorry about that. I love the digital opks. They seem so much more clear cut for me. Last month of trying was the only time I've ever had a clear positive on a cheapie.

mare that sounds very scary. Glad it's nothing serious.

So, had my review. He thought I responded pretty well to the drugs with 11 follies, and he thought 6 eggs wasn't bad for an old bird (so nice to hear yourself being referred to as an 'older lady' 20 times in an hour....) Next time he wants to try a month of hormone priming meds, then straight onto the max dose of stims. Last time it was straight onto stims at 375, and it got upped to 450 (max) after a week. We might stim for an extra 24 hours too. So, we'll throw everything we can at it for one last shot. I start priming in December, so only a month to wait. Very pleased with that 🙂