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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

965 replies

StarkyTheDirewolf · 07/03/2016 22:50

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

Link to thread 12.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2580240-Thread-12-TTC-1Trying-is-the-fun-part-said-by-nobody-ever-whos-actually-trying?pg=1&order=

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
iPatches · 08/03/2016 19:36

Hep - well I haven't had a "normal" AF but I have had some delightful brown spotting this morning so I'm counting that as AF. The cramps have gone off. Neither Ovia nor I know what's going on TBH.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 19:47

I hate it when he's right though ever I'm used to being the smug bastard in our house! I don't like it when roles are reversed! It unsettles me! What if he thinks he's going to be right more often?! I can't have him getting dangerous ideas like that! 😁

but I fully recommend home bargains argon oil shampoo, it's 99p and bloody lovely

OP posts:
HepKestrel · 08/03/2016 19:50

I hope things are clearer tomorrow for you .

I'm starting to think that aunty flo has a twisted sense of humour....

Kwick709 · 08/03/2016 19:53

Welcome trizzer!

Mooseville · 08/03/2016 19:58

Blimey - you guys talk a lot! Just taken me half an hour to catch up!

Moose
36 (nearly 37!) aargh
TTC 1
Cycle 2
CD 4

Plan this month is just to DTD more! DP seems a lot more enthusiastic this month and I think I'm going to discuss ISW a bit more as it approaches to gee him up! Doing OPK's and pregnacare supplements but that's it.

Ni and Ever my DP is exactly the same. Bed time only and it's always the same! I guess I could make a bit more effort too though, but it just feels like it's always me! How come men just want to shag all the time when they're not in a relationship and break women's hearts but aren't interested when they've got it on a plate!

starky your DP is amazing! Hairdresser, hunky body builder and at one with the female pheromones! What more could a girl want?! Fingers crossed his nose is right!

Kwick709 · 08/03/2016 20:07

islandgirl have you read "it starts with the egg" loads of advice there - that is where I found out about co-q10 and vitamin E.

starky shampoogate I love it!

ever my heart goes out to you my lovely.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 20:09

moose he is a gudden for sure, fuck knows what he sees in me! Grin He's a hypochondriac though! He's twinged a muscle in his stomach...obviously it's not just a pulled muscle, it's probably a hernia! 😂

OP posts:
RaeSkywalker · 08/03/2016 20:10

I'm still in limbo land! Horrendous cramps today and totally exhausted which is unlike me. No AF yet though. I think I might be in for the mother of all periods!!

Ever Flowers

iPatches · 08/03/2016 20:16

Rae I've had the worst cramps this "month" and the most pathetic spotting/period ever. But the cramps have stopped!

miwelaisjacydo · 08/03/2016 20:19

Hi everyone FFs my husband has due to new washing powder got bloody thrush right on cue for FW. Am trying so hard but to be cross.

Pugmummy87 · 08/03/2016 20:20

Ever FlowersChocolate

Harriet I'm so sorry my lovely Flowers

Hep I am also convinced that arseholey fucknuts has a twisted sense of humour. Last month she gave me nausea and a much lighter and shorter period than normal, convincing me that I was upduffed!

I stepped on the scales today and wanted to cry. Then DH took a picture of me and I wanted to cry after seeing it. Ive put on so much weight again Sad

SincerelyRosie · 08/03/2016 20:23

So much happens on this thread I struggle to keep up!!

Love the opening starky

Rosie
TTC #1
Cycle 3
CD 44 (irregular periods)
On my 3rd potential ovulation of the month!! AF suppose to be due in 2 weeks if I actually ovulate this time! Fx

RaeSkywalker · 08/03/2016 20:24

Patches glad to hear the end might be in sight for the cramping! Just said to DH that if I'm still in this much pain on Friday I might have to call the GP, I'm worried that I might have an infection Confused

Mileymoocow · 08/03/2016 20:33

Hi ladies, haven't been around much recently. I won't lie, I'm struggling horrendously with morning sickness and can't do much other than sleep and spew I won't complain too much though!

I am lurking, just not contributing much. You're all still very much in my thoughts

Miley
26
Harbouring a grounded until it's 18 9+2 pecan

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 20:46

miw tell him to stick his knob in a yakukt and to stop whining! Ovulation comes but once a month! alternatively canestan works wonders on man thrush, Dh used mine once and his cleared up in 24 hours or so! Downside being his cock was like a hairpin trigger, one swish and it went off!

OP posts:
SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 20:53

Argh. Just had a horrible row with DH over the phone. I've got a positive OPK and he's on his way back from Miami tonight, landing first thing tomorrow morning. I've told work I've got a dr appointment so we can quickly DTD when he gets home. He's just said on the phone "this is what I don't like. It's too regimented".
I'm ashamed to say I lost it. Too regimented? What my body? Human biology??? How many times do we have to have this conversation??? I really think how they teach boys about conception in school needs to be looked at! I think he thinks a condom breaks on an impromptu shag on a beach and that's it.
Argh. I hate ending phone calls like that especially when he's got a long journey home.
So frustrated :(

SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 20:55

also is this positive please?

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
Feefeefs · 08/03/2016 20:57

Offt starky glad you've seen the back of him! You're DH sounds a much more sensible man! Also what's the name of this shampoo!

Ever I'm sure you are very attractive! I doubt it's to do with that!

Ipatches I bought the clear blue opks and it says you can use fmu! So I'm using them.

Canters15 · 08/03/2016 21:02

Such a, sorry about the argument. I can so relate- DH is working away in Europe during the week at the moment. Last fertile window I got an amazing positive opk just before he was due to leave and the pressure to perform meant he, um, didn't. He seems to have an uncanny knack at not wanting sex on the most crucial day but hates knowing when I'm ovulating. I'm like what do you want me to do, bro?! Catch 22.

Mooseville · 08/03/2016 21:06

sucha bloody men!!! Seriously, you'd have thought the idea of a greet home shag would be appealing. Fingers crossed you make up with a big smooch and a shag when he gets home....
As for the OPK, that was about the darkest mine went and then the following day it was back to negative. You've still up to 36 hrs though, plenty of time!

SuchaJem · 08/03/2016 21:09

Maybe he is worried about performing as soon as he walks through the door 😔 But it's not exactly easy for me either - I'm lying to work, getting in late, and also having to DTD on demand.

Le sigh. Maybe I'll just go to work as normal and wait until I get home to DTD. The last time was yesterday morning, which I'm hoping is keeping me covered. I can't help but feel a fresh batch in the morning would be ideal, if eggo is imminent?

StarkyTheDirewolf · 08/03/2016 21:15

I wouldn't say that's a positive yet jem I'd say that's a peak though and you'll probably get a positive in the next day or so. It's horrible having those kind of conversations. It's a tricky one, I'm not really sure what to suggest other than just generally upping your dtd-ing so he doesn't realise when you're in fw? I stopped telling Dh in a bid to take the pressure off, but then he developed spidey senses!

Me too feef I had a run of about 3 genuine arsehole back to back, makes me wonder what kind of voodoo magic they were using cause no way would I take that kind of shit now! Grin

Ill take a picture of it, it's amazing!

Ttc#1 Lucky  no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the  honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.
OP posts:
LuckyBlackKitty · 08/03/2016 21:29

Jeez you lot get through your threads quick. This is going to be a commitment to keep up Wink

Jem - you asked way back when our test results are due. I've got about a week and DH is currently awaiting an appt for SA after initial Drs appt.

Sorry to hear you're having trouble getting DH on board. It's tough. We've missed some months due to illness on both parts and DH being 'too tired' / 'headache'. It's tough. I think that's why it's taking us do long (she says hopefully, not wanting the tests to reveal anything). I hope you find a way with your DH to get on the same page and manage to dtd when needed.

A couple of you were talking about Royal jelly. I had been taking that, along with macca, EPO, multi vits and folic acid. Honestly, I almost rattled. I got DH taking a bunch of pills too but lately I've just reverted to folic acid.

I hope this month brings lots of BFPs for everyone!

Evergreen15 · 08/03/2016 21:35

Jem I hear your pain. They dont understand the stress that we go through Sad so you are lying to work to get dtd and all he has to do is freaking bang you?! Oh my!!!!
OH is at work and we were supposed to talk and this is fw so I am so bloody mad right now I might actually just tell him I want out.
Do they think that it is not a chore for us to have to dtd on demand as well???!!!! I am fuming right now. No way I will get upduffed this cycle either.

Evergreen15 · 08/03/2016 21:37

Starky that shampoo pic cheered me up a little GrinGrinGrinGrin