Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

Link to thread 12.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2580240-Thread-12-TTC-1Trying-is-the-fun-part-said-by-nobody-ever-whos-actually-trying?pg=1&order=

ever I hope you both have a good talk and get things sorted. I know blokes are a bit shit at expressing feelings like us but it's vital you feel he's totally on board with the ttc plans. Fx crossed xx

Tiny we've been here almost six months so still learning, possibly still a little naive about what it will entail to do all this in a country where we don't speak the language but I guess we will just take it as it comes because we won't have a choice and can always ask for help if needed. Plus there's always Google! I'm looking forward to getting my money's worth out of our health insurance too! I'm sure that we will both be fine when the time comes, the Germans and Swiss are not ones to panic.

I am cracking up laughing at the thread description. Good job Stark!

Moggy Most booking appts with the midwife are done around 8 weeks (that's when I aim to see newly pregnant ladies anyway), to give time for the scan request forms to reach the hospital and to send out a scan appt to you (our 1st scans are done between 11+2 - 14+1 for dating and screening purposes) and also for you to have booking bloods done before 10 weeks too.

Are they just busy? It is a busy time for bookings!

Ever I'm sorry you are having a crap time with DH. It took me a while to get it through to my DH that having sex once per week (if that) was not going to get me up duffed. I think he understands now, although I now tend to be the one to initiate it when I think I'm ovulating, still working on getting him to the every 2-3 days throughout the month. But we are certainly dtd more than we used to.

Fx are you married to my DH?! This is why I ended up going off on one at him on Sunday, because I end up doing everything. And he is also pretty nonchalant about stuff I may have achieved too (I think that's down to he's autistic traits though). Upsets me at times because sometimes I would just like some validation!

I have been getting crampy like pains on and off this afternoon (I think I might have wind though ) and my boobs feel heavy, no sore Nipples though which is my usual luteal phase symptom.

Welcome back to the madhouse canters

kwick and fx Its ridiculous, my ex used to do it and I could never understand it! But amazingly both clomid and pregnyl control the production of testosterone so if a man has been taking synthetic testosterone steroids to increase muscle growth/mass, he stops producing it naturally. When he stops taking testosterone, pregnyl and clomid jump start the testes into natural production of healthy sperm again! It's bonkers, but clomid is prescribed to men by doctors, not 'Dave-down-the-gym' to increase their sperm count with HRT. Pregnyl is injectable but you can procure illegal and by my reckoning, bloody dangerous clomid in tablet form. So when stacked with pregnyl, the balls go wild and start producing spunk by the bucket load!

A lot of lads also take HGC (or human growth hormone) to increase their recovery time from in the gym. A side effect of this is the quality of sperm is also increased.

Sadly, this is all available after a few mouse clicks, it's either stolen from laboratories or made in illegal makeshift labs around the country by amateur chemists.

Disclaimer - I spent a long time listening to my ex and his mates, they all took gear and swapped their stories of what works etc. Obviously their main goal was for muscle mass, quicker recovery and getting beefed up. Thankfully Dh doesn't prescribe to the same mindset.

Seriously, whats with all the men not comprehending the basics that are 'to make a baby you need to dtd?!!' I mean it's not rocket science! Why do we have to coerce them, aren't men supposed to want to do anything to get laid????

hi trizzer

if you tested on dpo8, then its worth testing again in a couple of days... fx for you!

It is insane what some people will do starky! I used to work in infectious diseases and our biggest group of new HIV/HEP C infections where bodybuilders using "bathtub" labs injectables and sharing needles.

It's hideous isn't it feef it was one of many many reasons why I left him in the end. He was refusing to use condoms, I was refusing to have sex with him. I was like "how can you not possibly see that you're potentially affecting MY future and heath!" He thought he was safe because he used fresh needles from he exchange but couldn't grasp what what he was injecting couldn't possibly have been "medical grade" because proper labs don't misspell words on the packaging!

kwick apparently it can improve egg quality and overall fertility, balance hormones and there are some studies that say it could improve uterine lining which can be good for people (like me) who have been on the pill for ages as that can potentially thin the lining, the study isn't 100% though.

I'm not aware that I have any problems with either my hormones or my uterine lining, but I'm open to trying anything to help with egg quality because of my advancing years and figure it can't hurt.

Hope you're getting on well btw, was catching up on your previous messages, fx for you!

Laurenowls checking in after a long while :)

Ttc 1
Stuck in limbo land as af hasnt shown up since 2nd feb so god knows whats going on

Hi Lauren
that is a long time in limboland! Have you just come off the pill? I assume you are having BFNs?

If you have just come off the pill, it can take 6 months..... but you might want to ask your GP.

sorry lauren misread your email! you said your last AF was on the 2nd feb, i miss read it. You are not too long in limboland then.

doesn't make any more fun though ....

hepkestrel had my implant taken out 9th december so everything should be back to normal...
But don't really know what is going on with my body...

hep thats when spotting stopped last proper af was 31st dec...

Hi Inspector! welcome! Thanks for the advice. The rest of the relationship is great. He is so amazing and we are very well suited. But the sex is just not what I have had before / dream of. This is a very important issue when TTC. He seems to be on board with the baby thing now, but so tired of initiating every single time.
Ni thanks for the advice. He gets lots of compliments from me (I get literally nothing) I like spontaneity but he is bed time sex. I just dont think I can cope anymore. How am I supposed to get up the duff!???
Feefs yes that is another one, that it hurt this morning and I still dont know why. But I dont think this is the reason. I feel really unattractive and fear that I will never get pregnant

Hep we love TMI here
Skip thanks you are spot on and lol at the massage with tiny thong. OH is also allergic to so many lotions and crap that massages not an option either anyway. So I have bought 4 different nice outfits kind of body suits from Lovehoney that are super flattering and nice. Also a vibrating thingy to use. I have tried to do oral when not on isw and just being super nice in general and that.
Starky you are DH are so funny!
What else can I do?
Jem OH wont do dirty talk. I wish it was different. He is (sorry) but very boring in bed
Thanks peaches not sure the talk will sort things out, I have tried this before.
Pug he knows now and I thought he would be better at pretending he actually wants to sleep with me... He knows we have to dtd but just me doing it all.
Confused my thoughts exactly!!! When you watch tv apparently men want sex all the time!!!!
I am not a model, but I dont think I am disgusting either. Not pretty, but not repulsive and I have had boyfriends before when I was younger and skinnier that like me, so I dont know. I am just getting fatter now as I feel it is all lost.

Wow I managed to miss a whole thread!

Work has been absolutely manic and I felt like I needed a break from worrying about TTC.

So nice to come on and hear all the BFPs really happy for everyone.

I'm due to test on Monday 14th, only symptoms is some very light brown spotting today which usually arrives before AF but never this early.

Next cycle I think I'm going to try OPK because I currently have no idea when I ovulate! Any tips on how to get started from any OPK experts?!

I'm here. Late again.

iPatches, Cycle #4ish. Not had an easy time of it.

Having been in Limbo Land since Friday, had some reasonable brown spotting today. Not my normal but what is these days? I'm considering it AF. Cramps have gone away too.

The "strategy" is every other day this month with a little extra during the FW. OPKing is a problem as simply no opportunity at work, and varying days mean I sometimes can't test between FMU and 7-8pm but have managed to always spot my O in the last 3 cycles. Not going to be temping, sticking anything "up there" to check CM (pants inspection will continue) etc.

So will be OPKing (again) and keeping fingers, toes, and everything but legs crossed, and trying to care as little as possible even though it's all I can think about every single day. That means nights out, enjoying every single moment of a weekend lie-in, sweating it out at the gym, sugar and caffeine until anything tells me otherwise.

Hardly an opk expert. Main advice is you can order strips from tinternet at 14p a strip. I would start as soon as AF finishes ( I was caught out by lh appearing much earlier than I expected. Test between 10am and 8pm. That reminds me, a need to do it now.....

Hi!

Bluebird here
Age 30
Ttc #1
Cycle 13
Next AF due 5th of April

Trying to be more relaxed this month. No temping or opks, just dtd every other day and maybe everyday cd 11-18 if possible.

Haven't had a chance to catch up on the thread yet but hope everyone is doing well!

twinky - buy some cheap sticks and dip them in your pee daily as soon as your period is over. Try to do it around midday/early afternoon but do it whenever you can if not possible. The sticks are cheap if you buy in bulk. The key thing is that the line has to match or be DARKER than the control to be considered positive (unlike a pregnancy test where any line counts as a positive). You may see it getting progressively darker for 3-5 days beforehand.

Bonus: you will now become the proud owner of a designated pee vessel - Gu dessert pots are a favourite around here .

The most annoying thing about today has been that following our "discussion" in the body wash aisle of home bargains yesterday. I used the argon oil shampoo, I deliberately didn't brush my hair prior to washing it and refrained from putting conditioner on too.

A little while later, determined to prove my point to dh, called him in for the final installment of 'shampoogate' "See" I declared "I just used your shampoo and I bet my hairs all knotty now!" Well, only for the comb to fucking glide through my locks like it was made of warm butter! And to add insult to injury, after I dried it, my hair is like shiny bloody gossamer!

He's been preening all day the smug bastard!

ipatches are you still stick in limbo land?

Starky your DH is one of the wisest people I know