Ttc#1 Lucky no.13. The one where Doreen and Hugh ride the honeymoon gondola down the fallopian canal.

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount!

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. We have a register thanks to kats stats I am resident piss stick queen and if you don't test, you get a Starky's Star

When you post stats, add your predicted test/af date. We are currently running at about 49% pregnant with the grads thread over in ante-natal which we all hope to join soon.

Link to thread 12.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2580240-Thread-12-TTC-1Trying-is-the-fun-part-said-by-nobody-ever-whos-actually-trying?pg=1&order=

I'll test again tomorrow starkers and see if it gets any stronger. Ideally it would be a proper positive tomorrow and have a good 24 hour crack at DTD tomorrow to catch her.

If it doesn't work out this month then perhaps next month I'll keep more info to myself and just keep up the DTD without rhyme or reason.

Love the shampoo pic :)

Fx for you both lucky I hope it's just been a case of timing or lack of luck for you.

jem my positive was much darker than that. I think it's not worth fighting with him over, it will just make Ttc even more stressful and the more stressful it gets, the more it impacts the relationship negatively and the harder it is to get upduffed! It's by no means easy but I kind of decided to try see it as 'we are in this together and if we don't manage it this month we will another month'

evergreen dont decide or do anything while you're angry, lovey xxxx

I'm glad ever 😁

It's not just the dtd though, I think they don't have a clue about how mentally and emotionally draining it is! I've no problems getting Dh to dtd he literally can't believe his luck it's been more of the 'and after ifs' he's struggling with. I brought up yesterday if we get to autumn/winter and have had no luck what will we do and he went "well, nothing, we'll just keep trying and then accept it" to which I replied "fuck off mate, you're going STRAIGHT down the clinic to jizz in a cup!" Obviously I'll get my beard looked at too but accept it, fucking accept it! Kiss my arse! I'm having none of that! 😁

Sorry you're feeling rotten miley all for a good cause and that. You poor bugger

Thanks girls. We've made up over text. I need to not be so hot headed and not get so stressed about all this. You're right - it's not good for our rellie or for baby making.

Fx for a better day tomorrow and a darker strong OPK! Have got the first sign of EWCM now and some twinges on my left hand side, so there are things a-happening.

Lol Kat, maybe you're a closet Bieber fan!

Gosh Elle, we'll all need a cold shower if you're going to be waving photos like that in front of our faces!

Moggy, goodness me yes! If you haven't seen Poldark, watch some of the British Being Human. Love an angsty vampire ;) I'm sure Hep will agree!

Ever, I totally agree with Tiny's comment about needing to have an open conversation with your fella. This is way too much to shoulder alone! I'm sure I'd be going mental if my DH didn't keep me sane.

Lol at your DH Stark, he's clearly very enthusiastic. Bless men and their faith in their generals! Wish we had the same!

Good god Fx, you must be shattered!

Canters, a hot tub!!!!! Wow! We spent a lot of time in a hot tub on honeymoon but didn't DTD in it! Imagine if you'd got pregnant, you could call her Bubbles or Ariel! Haha. Although they sound a bit like hooker names... Oops!

I actually met a stripper once who's name was Bubbles jam we all thought she was taking the piss until she produced her driving license and her actual name was actually Bubbles!

Thanks for the vits info Island

Canter Welcome back! Honeymoon hot tub sex sounds fab!

Stark if your DH has indeed sniffed our your upduffedness you need to insure that nose of his!! and then hop in the car so he can save us the cost of a Frer!

...catching up. Can't believe we're 6 pages in already. Lots of pages usually means a BFP...fingers crossed!

Ok, bear with me here - I'm seriously behind!

Congratulations to the new BFPers - our stats must be through the roof now. All of you thwarted by AF this month, sorry ladies, but please have a gutful of wine, pate and soft cheese for me!

Harriet, I'm so sorry to hear that, take care of yourself.

Jem, I'm good thanks. Got my scan letter through today in fact and it's on April 1st when I'll be 12+4. Perfect timing as DH and I are both off work that week so we'll hopefully get to enjoy it more as well. Better than rushing back to work straight after!

Still catching up but Ever how about focusing on getting your mojo back? I know a lot of people on here have said that their libido increased since coming off the pill...I think mine has decreased! It's so sad cos we had amazing sex for the first year together!...until we moved in together actual (absence makes more than the heart grow fonder!!!!) but I do believe that a lot of not feeling wanted or attractive or confident right now is because I'm not exercising. When I'm working out I feel sexy and strong and confident. Is there anything you can do to help you feel better about yourself? I'm getting there slowly not a winter person so I was bound to veg the last few months but I've done yoga the last two days! I'll get there in a few weeks...months...!!!

This is a bit of an out there post. But had anybody ever thiught abiut doing pole fitness? I'd completely encourage you all to have a go if there are are any classes in your area. For toning, weight loss and confidence it's honestly brilliant. And it's good fun. You will ache in areas you never knew had muscles in but it's ace! Not for the already upduffed though! Can't stress that enough! But it's amazing for strengthening your core which helps massively when you do get upduffed.

Suchajem it's true you probably have around 36hrs...if it feels too stressful how about going into work saying your doc apt was rescheduled to later, then leaving work early to come to dtd instead (if your OH isn't working today he'll have had time to have a snooze and refresh for you!)

Stark love the photo. Sounds like fabulous stuff for us long haired knotty creatures!

Haha Stark, I wonder if she changed it to that or just had an awful mother?!

So I think I'm about 5dpo. My boobs feel very heavy and my nipples feel bruised and super sensitive. Very gassy, which is quite unusual for me but I just keep burping constantly. I also just cried at a rerun of Downton Abbey and then when I was getting ready for bed, my DH and I were joking about and I literally just laughed so much I sprayed a mouthful of water everywhere and then laughed hysterically on the toilet by myself. Walked back into the room with DH and was like, what the hell is going on with you?! His joke really wasn't that funny but I feel like my mood is literally bouncing all over the place today! I'm telling myself it's too early for symptoms but the irritating gnome is whispering stuff in my ear, damn him.

Fingers crossed Jam! Try to get a good night's sleep...Maybe borrow some of Kats Bieber dreams ew totally grosses me out...hes too young!

Stark I'd totally give that a go if there was a class in my area. Useful skills in many ways! 😉 I tried bellydancing once and loved that too.. Just couldn't be arsed trekking an hour each way on am evening for more classes bloody London

Tonight I have been drinking wine, eating cheese and hotel chocolat and watching Grace and Frankie with my Mom 😊 (at what CD should we stop the cheese?!) But I did take EPO, iron, multi vits, do lots of walking and yoga too!! Balanced diet!!! 😀

She said her dps were hippies jam It was one of those instances where you can go "oh, that's interesting! "

Aww jam that bloody gnome! He's an arsehole! Whispering things and making you have symptoms! I've got zero symptoms, I keep pinching my nipples to see if they hurt, obviously now, they hurt, because of pinching though, not pregnancy!

ni as much as I hate to admit it, Dh has pulled a blinder! It's awesome stuff!

God can you imagine if you had to name your baby by conception location?! If I get pregnant this month I will be giving birth to.....a malteaser? (Fertile week spent in Malta and I'm pmsing and craving chocolate!).

Starky, pole fitness intrigues me but I always see pics of girls hanging upside down and I think if I did that I might fall off and die.

Crampy womble tonight. Let it be implantation?!??!

Omg you girls have chatted so much today I can't keep up!! But I will try to tomorrow. Hope everyone is okay xx

Lol at designated pee vessel!!!
(I have had lots of other lols but I can't remember who said them!)

Stark I completely missed shampoogate. You DH sounds fucking hilarious though

Speaking of pee vessel, I may have gone out and bought Gu today! It now seems ok, I'm not having a very unhealthy if totally delicious pudding, I'm buying something useful.

shampoogate just for you kat

Actually had an argument in home bargains with dh today about hair conditioner. 😁

In his wisdom, he decided I didn't need conditioner if I used argan oil shampoo. Tried explaining that I only put conditioner on from about halfway down my hair, to stop it getting knotty. He was then genuinely perplexed that i wanted "matching" shampoo/conditioner (and there was none of this magical argan oil conditioner) as "if you use the shampoo, you won't need conditioner anyway!"

The conversation was ended when i hissed "you can have an opinion on conditioner when you've got waist length hair and not a short back and sides, knobhead! " 😁 Bloody exhairdresser, thinking he knows it all!

canters you don't start off by shinning up and hoping do the best 😆 you usually start off with a few basic spins, getting your balance and bearing and whatnot. I've been thinking of digging my pole out of the loft for a week or so since I went up to hide clutter put stuff neatly away.

Starky I've always wanted to give pole fitness a go! I'm worried that I don't have enough upper body strength though.

Thanks for the OPK advice Hep and iPatches I work in a school so I think midday wee collections might be nigh on impossible! Very annoying!

I do already have a lovely little Gu ramekin, I love their deserts, but I just can't see how I can do the testing during the school day. We only have two toilets so I can't hog one for ten minutes without it being really obvious!

There's no way I could do pole fitness and look elegant! But I admire those who can do it!

So after my emotional few hours last night, DH gets a text from one of our friends telling him they're expecting. He's recently got engaged and is saving for a house after travelling but found out they are 7 weeks pregnant. I'm very happy for them but you know when you've got a few friends left that you're absolutely certain you're going to have kids before them? Out of my 11 close friends, 6 are married and have had babies in the past 2 years, 2 are in new relationships and 3 are single. I always thought I was in that first group but seems I'm just lagging behind, despite having been together for over 10 years and doing everything right. It upset DH as well but he didn't really say. Just that 'oh well, that's another one' kind of feeling.

jam

its hard isn't it. You want to be happy for your friends, and you are ... but this little part of you inside starts screaming "its not fair!"

but we don't know how long they have been trying either......