TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Lovely that they're reunited before Xmas, that'll be really special for the kids! Have you done any festive baking?

After being a bit smug yesterday saying how well I was doing keeping my shit together waiting until 12 week scan, have just found myself looking online at buying a fetal heartbeat monitor! Madness. Would be a total waste of money. Must step away from Amazon! Might just be tiredness making me crazy!

Hello all - I've just had a MMC at 10-11 weeks. I'd seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks and was having all the symptoms still, so it was a bit of a shock. I just didn't know MMC existed... Trying to remain positive in that at least we got that far.

We're going to start trying again after checking for a negative test in a fortnight I think. Really pleased to find this thread.

hey bonxie and elderberries, sorry you have to be here but glad you found us!

Brenna I'm so glad your painting is finally finished! cause for celebration in itself never mind Christmas! and I'm so glad your friend is getting back on track, will be great for her to get her kids and pets all together at last, what a tough time she's had of it.
Brenna I can't remember if you had tried this month and are therefore due to test? sorry hun, thread is so big and I am rubbish at keeping up! If so then I'm liking the no sign of AF!

Sunday I forgot how far along you are? when is your scan?
I used a doppler when pregnant with DS and had no issues with it (wss hard to catch it early on, but I'm sure I found it at 10 ish weeks and it just got stronger and stronger. its with a friend just now and I'm not sure I'm going to ask for it back; not sure if I'll just end up more anxious about it.

hope you're all ok, I'm 5 weeks today, phoning epas in the morning to discuss my early scan xxx

Hi and welcome Bonxie. I was much like you. MMC found at 10 weeks with no heartbeat and no growth since 8 weeks. I had had a heartbeat and healthy growth at 7 and 8 weeks.

We did try this month Frankie although DH was away for a week and left 2 days before I ovulated, so not sure what our chances are. I am due between today and Tuesday (cycle normally 28 to 30 days). I think my luteal phase is 15 days, although last months was the slightly elongated and odd cycle post-mmc and that is the only only I have tested for ovulation, so not sure if that is my standard. IF so I am due Tuesday. I am going to test christmas eve if no AF by then.

Best of luck with EPAS Frankie

fingers crossed for you Brenna, you never know!!

waiting on a midwife phoning me back, feel so nervous. also felt quite weird telling my mum and close friends at the weekend, I feel like I've jinxed myself somehow. which is daft I know xxx

Welcome bonxie and elderberries, sorry you are here xx make sure you take time for yourselves these next few weeks, it's tough to get your head around but we're a good bunch to keep you sane (ish!)

Not been around much as been up visiting family this weekend - still had a flashing smiley on Friday morning but didn't test over the weekend as forgot tests (typical!)

Managed to coerce the husband to DTD on Thursday night, then a bit tricky because of being at someone else's house so DTD last night. On the Ovia app yesterday was my peak so I'm hoping we got it just in time. AF due Jan 1st so will either be an amazing start to 2016 or a crap end to 2015!

Where's everyone else up to? Would love to see a festive positive 😊

Fingers crossed Brenna! I've seen charts where women get pregnant after having sex a week before O! Not common but it does happen. 2 days before is still very good chances.

Northern fingers crossed 2016 starts with some fantastic news for you!

I'm back at the EPU tomorrow morning as my miscarriage still hasn't started and I can't be doing with this waiting. Just want it over with so we can move on. I haven't been intimate with my DH for over a month because I'd had so much spotting and I can't wait to get that part of our relationship back. Sorry to bring up miscarriages again, I'm sure it's still fresh for a lot of you. Just really want to start 2016 a-fresh!

How long did it take you all to get the BFP's you lost? It was cycle 8 for us and I'm really hoping the next one is much faster!

I am feeling fairly hopeful. My temperature is still up and I am now 15 dpo. It took 2 cycles to get my last bfp and I am 38 next month. I understand when you mean about just wanting it over. I gave in and booked myself in for EPRC in the end as I didn't want to wait forever. I saw the midwife on the thursday to do the pre-op assessment and was booked in for the tuesday. Morag, the midwife, told me she was renowned for scaring the mc into happening. Sure enough it happened that saturday night.

Best of luck Frankie. You won't have jinxed yourself. You will just have lots of support. We are going to tell people this time again (assuming we get another bfp) as having the support either way is good.

Morning. Feeling a bit brighter today - the MC was Tuesday to Thursday last week, so I expect I'm past that initial plummet of hormones. Hope so!

All the best for this morning Elderberries, I know how you feel with wanting it to be over - I was booked in for the procedure but then it started to happen naturally a couple of days before. It's difficult to say how long we were trying, as there was a break in there whilst we sorted out my thyroid and vitamin D levels, and treated my raised prolactin, but all told a couple of years.

Fingers crossed Brenna, and you know you can't jinx yourself Frankie, but I understand the feeling!

Rang the doctors today but the earliest booking appointment I can get is the 18th when I'll be 11 weeks. Will that be ok? I could try and go at 10 weeks but I have a work commitment and don't want to let people down.

Should I try and arrange my scan separately? I've also got my flu jab booked for tomorrow, so am hoping I don't feel awful over Christmas! Has anyone else had it? Did you get side effects?

Sophia I don't know about those dates, as all areas seem to work differently, but I did have the flu jab about a month ago before my MMC and felt fine with no side effects at all. And no flu so far either!

Bonxie glad you're feeling a bit brighter today. I think with the passage of time that comes, I remember feeling quite helpless immediately after my mc as I just wanted to try again! I know not everyone is the same, but I found the planning to try again helped me too.

Sophia I think your '12 week' scan is done anywhere between 11+14 weeks - maybe call your midwife if you have her no. or docs and explain? maybe they can put through the referral now and get you a date?
I got my flu jab last Wed, and apart from a little bruise on my arm and a slight ache I've been fine. ended up paying and going myself for it as would have been about a 4 week wait otherwise waiting for midwife to refer me, and I didnt want my booking in appointment to be at 6 weeks, too early. and I'd been meaning to go anyway before I found out I was pregnant.

ah I know I can't jinx myself, but it's a strange feeling! kind of like I feel that I'd be letting people down if it happens again?

with my mc I fell pregnant 1st cycle, we weren't really trying so I was in shock. I got my bfp 2nd cycle adter mc so I've been extremely lucky. with DS I was 4th cycle, which again I'm so grateful for as know many of you have tried so much longer.

xxx

I feel exactly the same about jinxing myself Frankie Last time I miscarried it was at 7 weeks after making my booking appointment, so
I really had to push myself to do that. We just need to reassure ourselves that nothing we do has any impact on what will happen - easier said than done!

I got my scan moved quite easily today Sophia from nearly 15 weeks back to 12! 3 weeks today in fact. The midwife would have made the referral after booking in through, every area is different I suppose though.

AF is now officially late. And I had morning sickness this morning. It wore off about 11.30am. My colleagues were talking about turkey and kilted sausages at morning coffee and I was really not enjoying that. I am going to test tomorrow morning. I was going to wait until DH was home for the day on christmas eve but he has already clocked the lack of AF, green face and tiredness so there is no surprise now.

Sophia I think I would call the midwife and see if she can refer you for your scan before booking you in. Otherwise your scan will be late. Or get an early one from EPAC and see if they can refer you for the 12 week one.

That's brilliant news Brenna! Fingers crossed :-) Being disgusted by food was one of my first symptoms. Am going to call community midwife today to see if she can refer me.

Need some strong hand-holding today as I am 7w3d which is when I started miscarrying last time. Feel pretty convinced that's going to happen again even though I have no symptoms to suggest it will. So hard that last time I had morning sickness and sore boobs right up until miscarriage, so having those gives me no reassurance :-(

Right here with you Sophia. I hope today goes ok for you.

I did an IC and a FRER this morning. Both negative .

Oh Brenna

And Sophia I hope today goes quickly for you, I know I would find it difficult too

Sorry brenna, am disappointed for you. hope af stays away and you get a positive come up later in the week. Never heard the term 'kilted sausages' before but I love it! Much nicer than pigs in blankets .

Flu jab should be fine Sophia, I have it every year and only once did I feel rotten after, think when it was combined seasonal and swine flu year. Am sure today will pass by without incident and will feel like another milestone passed x

I was also 8 months ttc the first pregnancy elderberries but only took 5 months for second bfp. I also have pcos so only actually ovulated about 3 times since sept 2014! A few of us here who mc'd around june/July time got pg again 4-5months later so don't be disheartened if it feels like its not happening quick enough. I've used the time to save some more money to fund future mat leave. How did you get on at epau?

Hi all can I join aswell?

Iv tried reading though the tread but I think its too much for one go! I had a MC at 5 weeks last week and even though it was super early I was a mess for quite a few days.

Im feeling more positive now and cant wait to start trying again. I know some say not to but I think we will try this cycle. I keep forgetting to take a pregnancy test to see if it is negative yet but my temps have finally dropped so that seems a good sign.

A colleague just bought their 11 week old daughter in and I got to hold her for about 10 minutes. I was so happy.

Hi ladies, I'm going to join too if that's OK. Your posts while I've been emotionally processing my miscarriage have given me hope, and I've been impressed with and inspired by your resilience. My story so far is that I came off the pill in October, then got pregnant on my first go when on honeymoon. I then miscarried between 6-7 weeks, saw the EPU for 48hr blood tests which confirmed the loss, but not the cause - midwives advised most likely a genetic mutation, but could also have been an ectopic pregnancy and if it was, that increases my risk for next time (I have elevated risk anyway so will be watching carefully for any cues). So I'm now on my first period since the miscarriage, and first period in over five years that wasn't a pill whithdrawal bleed. As such not sure if this is just going to be a standard monthly occurrence now (3 days of spotting and then 3 days of bleeding so far) or my body still a bit out of sorts since the miscarriage - hoping the latter. Positively, the spotting started on day 29, and that would hopefully mean I'm going to get regular periods (that remains to be seen too though). So this month coming up will be my second proper go at getting pregnant, I've ordered a thermometer, ovulation and pregnancy test value pack from Amazon and feeling excited about trying again! Brenna - definitely worth trying again in a couple of days, especially as your body might still be getting back into a rhythm and you could be testing early? Was disappointed to read you got a BFN as had been rooting for you.

Brenna so sorry about the BFN 😔 Hopefully tomorrow or Christmas Day BFP?!

Grace there's no medical reason to not try, especially as your loss was an early one so your body should bounce back quickly. Have you had a negative test? They only say to wait a cycle for dating reasons but I DGAF about that considering I will be using OPKs.

Unfortunately they wouldn't scan at the EPU this morning so am none the wiser. The midwife did also say that at the scan next week if it's grown slightly but hasn't reached 7mm without a heartbeat then I'll be sent away for another 2 weeks as until they see no growth between scans or it reaches 7mm in length without a heartbeat they won't discuss options with me I was hoping I'd have an end in sight but no.

What's everyone doing for Christmas? I had called off Christmas but felt guilty as we are moving back to my home country next year, so we are driving to MIL and FIL Christmas morning and possibly staying overnight. BIL has already started asking questions about why we're not going down tomorrow- God help me if he or his wife kick up a stink. DH has been given strict instructions that he is NOT allowed to disappear to the pub with his Dad and brother. MIL and FIL know and I can't wait to go and have a cry to my wonderful MIL.

Just catching up on all the recent posts after a hectic few days.

Hi to the newbies - elderberries, luckyinoct, grace893 and Bonxie. So sorry for your recent losses. Hopefully the great gals on this board will bring you some help and comfort.

Brenna - having everything crossed for a BFP over Christmas!!

Sunday - when is your scan again? The wait is a nightmare I know!!

Frankiepants - did you get your early scan booked in?

Elderberries - it took me 10 months to get my first bfp, although we only really 'tried' for around 5. I was starting to get really worried and upset, especially as so many of my friends seemed to be getting preggers in 2-3 months. This time just 3 months, so feel very lucky.

Thinking of you Sophia - that horrid 'date' when the mc happened before is really hard. Mine was 11w3d, so felt like the earth waiting to get past that!

I had my 12 week scan on Tuesday ladies and it was AMAZING!! I was terrified, but all fine and just wonderful to see the little bean bouncing around and even sucking it's thumb :) Just praying for a smooth ride from now on.

I just want to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and a world of happiness for 2016!! When I was at my lowest in the summer, coming on here and realising that I wasn't alone, really helped me to cope. So thanks all!!