TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

sophia so many times I've freaked out that I've been bleeding and then it's actually just the light or my fingers through the tissue or something. It's so hard not to expect it after last time.

frankie I have my midwife appointment on thurs and so guess they'll make my scan appt then. I imagine I won't get an early one because it's so close to Xmas even if they do normally offer one. I'm glad this time is over Xmas because as you say it is going very fast and so by the time holidays are over I'll hopefully be nearly 12 weeks. Also means I get 10 days off when I'm feeling crappy which is good tho a little sad for Xmas

mascara are you 9+1? I thought we were the same but you must be a week ahead of me. How are you doing?

brenna so sorry to hear about your friend, sounds so hard. Sending lots of hugs too

Sending lots of calm thought to all those upduffed and understandably worried.

I am struggling today with the unfairness of life for us and for my friend and her family. But in other news after 5 to 6 coats the old horrible paint is gone. Now I just have to finish the cornicing and get the furniture back in place. Then I don't want to paint anything for a very long time.

April I think I am the same as you, as I'm not a standard day 14 ovulator! But according to LMP im 9+2 but I think I am more 8+3! Hopefully the scan on Thuraday will tell more. Felt really sick these last three days, not been sick though and off food. I'm hoping these all positive signs but I'll not be convinced until I see this scan. Think the odds decrease dramatically after a Heartbeat at 8 weeks.

I'm not due to test til 1st Jan, although unlikely to get pregnant this month as husband and I are not in same country this week and it's when I'm expecting my peak!

Can't wait for a new year, 2015 was crap :(

I've got a flashing smiley on my CB tests and husband not back til late tomorrow night - aaargh!

Northern remember it's the solid smiley you want, you still might get for your husband being back! xxx

As Frankie said it is the solid smilie you want, it sounds like you are in for a chance.

Bet he isn't up for it tomorrow though when he gets in at 11 haha

Just be ready waiting for him, how could he refuse?! xxx

Hi All

Best of luck with your scan tomorrow mascara everything crossed it all goes well

brenna exiting testin on Xmas eve. Do you think you'll be able to hold out?

frankie great news about them saying to contact them as soon as you get a bfp! Wish my Drs would say that! What will they do for you other than scan early? Anything? It is it just the scans? Great news still don't blame you wanting more scans, I know I'll be there as soon as they will let me go, it I can ever get to 6w and I know I'll spend a fortune on private scans but it's all worth it for peace of mind. If your test line is as strong as the control line then that's great news, especially when af is only due today. Mine never got that strong.

claire how did you get away without drinking at the Xmas party? Did you accept and ditch or just order non alcoholic drinks? Great job there! I know how stressful that can be!

maud has af tailed off a little now? Woo! 9 months together! That sounds amazing! Makes ttc so much easier! I am away loads too and manage to generally plan my diary around ovukation, dp I don't think would be bothered if it was him away so kind of lucky it's me.

sophia how did your midwife appointment go? Time for white pants only now.... hope you're feeling a little better about things.

brenna so sad about your friend, are you pleased you went? Sounds like it will have been a difficult time but I'm sure appreciated by all.

northern gutted about husband being away. How many days have you had he flashing smiley for before static in the past? I think I had 4 days so hopefully dh will be back in time for your static.

I was trying not to track this cycle but then I had ewcm yesterday and was walking past a wilkinsons so popped in hoping they had some cheap opks which they did. 5 for £2.80. I felt safer buying them from a shop rather than the Internet. Have tested a couple of times and only have the faintest line you can imagine. I have been having more ewcm today and cramps for the last 2 days and today a really weird stabbing pain just below my belly button. No idea what it is but am thinking it could be ovulation pains? These blank opks are just making me more aware of my lack of hormones which I'm convinced is the reason I've lost my last 2 pregnancies. We are trying this month and I'm temping and now opks. I don't care what the nurse said about not to try this month as is so subjective who you speak to and the advice you are given. 28 months ttc #1 is too long to be trying and to be told to stop. Not done another frer yet, Thinking of doing one on sat am and hoping like mad it's negative so if we get any type of line this month we will know it's a new pregnancy. I don't think my next pregnancy will work out without medical help as I know my hormones are crap but I kind of want to get it out of the way so that I can have some help after as I'll have had 3. If I do ovulate which I should hopefully know by temping and opks then I'll be testing on Xmas day which could be anywhere from 10-8dpo depending on if and when. At least then I will know I can or can't drink. I have no doubt that a positive will show up on 8dpi given my 10dpo line last month.

Merry Christmas Ladies [santa]

I have my fingers crossed that this is your month Vap.

Best of luck tomorrow Mascara.

Tomorrow we would have been 20 weeks with Rowan. It is also our christmas do. Hopefully that will take my mind off it.

I have that weird stretchy feeling in my uterus I had when I was pregnant before. On top of some cramps and hot flushes. I also had the oddest thing last saturday when I gagged cleaning up a broken egg in a pack of eggs. I never gag about stuff like that. I used to work in a factory grading and packing the eggs and grew up working on farms and stables. I have always had animals and have cleaned up most of the icky messes and wounds you could possibly imagine. I am due AF between sunday and tuesday. Monday will be 14 dpo. Originally Ovia had me due on christmas eve but I thought that was a bit long and partly calculated due to that long cycle I had after the MC. I think I will still wait until christmas eve to test as there is no point testing until after AF is late and we are both off work christmas eve, so we would be able to spend the day together celebrating if it is positive. If I do it before then we will be rushing off to work. Fx no AF by christmas eve as I am pretty sure of my ovulation date, so is she is that late it is likely good news.

Brenna they sound like good symptoms, hoping you get your xmas miracle.

Vap it's so hard to not put pressure on yourself to get the BFP as quickly as possible after. We also didn't wait and it was the second cycle we got the bfp after the long first cycle. You've got to do what you think is best.

Thanks ladies. Scan isn't until later this evening, need to keep busy. Feel symptomless and have done for two days now. Hopefully I'll be clearer on how far gone I am too.

Everything crossed for you

Did another frer this morning and it's a very faint positive. I don't think a pic would show it up. I was hoping for nothing to show up but I suppose it's good news that it has faded in 5 days. I suppose this means I still won't be ovulating with a faint line? I wonder why I have had the pains and ewcm? Will have to see what today brings. Temp hasn't risen yet. Am away from now until Monday night so was hoping for a bfn before going away so I didn't have to take a test to use again. Will probably wait until a couple of days after my temp spikes and tests again. I don't know why I'm trying this month as I would really like to have a drink over Xmas and would be testing Xmas morning although I suppose whatever the result it will be good news. Either BFP or

Scan went well, a little wriggly blob with a strong heartbeat. Could even hear the heartbeat this time. I am 8+5 like I thought. Got my hospital scan through but it's the 21st January! I'll nearly be 15 weeks!

Amazing news mascara!!! So happy for you :) (been checking all evening for your news!)

Had my booking appointment today, lovely midwife which was good as felt quite emotional seeing as never made it to my apt before. She didn't say anything about an early scan and and think I'm just going to wait it out until the 12 week in Jan, hopefully I'll have some good news then too :)

Ah thanks. April I'm sure you will be fine! I'm lucky that the scan place isnt far and is so cheap! Just concerned that my 12 week scan is a bit late! So glad your midwife appointment went ok x

Vap0 It was good, thanks :) Just giving us our maternity info packs and talking through options. Felt really surreal sitting there talking about hospitals as I'm still not convinced I'll get there. Just need to ring up and make proper booking appointment for January now.

That's brilliant news mascara! Must have been so lovely to see your little blob :)

I'm planning to wait it out to 12 week scan too April I know what I'm like with needing medical 'reassurance', so I know that an early scan won't actually reassure me and I'll end up wanting multiple scans, so I'm going to try and stay calm till then.

mascara that's so fab to hear, haven't had the chance before now to come on and check - so so happy for you.

Vap it's early scans only for me, I say only but that's enough! I'm phoning them on Monday to arrange and I already feel excited that it's only a couple of days away! who wishes for a Monday to come round?! (I don't work Mondays but am in tomorrow so it's still my weekend, haha!). really lucky to get this by the sound of some regions.
I hope youre ok too - I hate the thought that you have to go through this again before you get any help. I truly hope you're next pregnanc is your rainbow baby, you and DP deserve so much.

April that good you have a lovely midwife,makes all the difference. everyone is different and if you're happy to wait until 12 weeks that's great, I admire your relaxed attitude and can only be good for a stress free pregnancy, will be good news for you, and time will fly in!

I told a food friend today as we're out in a group tomorrow (just 4 of us) and I can't get away with not drinking. her and her DH have fertility issues and I didn't want to spring on her. feels so real now telling people! AND, my mum is up from England for the weekend and I get to tell her tonight too, am excited/nervous!!!

xxx

Fantastic news Mascara

April your midwife sounds lovely.

We had our works christmas night out last night. I danced until after midnight. Today I have achey muscles from it. It was a lot of fun to go out and do silly stuff. It makes a bit of a change from all the serious stuff lately.

Fankie Glad you have had a chance to talk to someone about it. It makes it more real

How you doing now vap? Hope you get that negative soon so you can start trying again in earnest. If you're away for work this wkend does that means you've got some time off over Xmas?

Symptoms sound promising brenna . Nice to have a good night out once in a while, a bit of a release from serious stuff like you say. Lucky i managed to fit in a messy night out pre pregnancy!

Glad you had a good scan mascara tho are you having nuchal testing at dating scan? 15 weeks will be too late then. I'm so proud of myself for holding out to 12 wk scan Sophia, only trouble is we will tell some family at Xmas before the scan

Hope everyone else is ok! Do you think you caught your fertile window northern?

Must get up soon, lots of xmassy things to do [santa]

Hello everyone, does anyone mind if I join in? Probably a little early as my miscarriage has only just started but I'm already ready to move forward. I am supposed to be 8 weeks today. I had a scan almost 3 weeks ago and there was a 5 weeks sac, at scan yesterday we saw an embryo measuring 5+4, so it stopped growing a few days after our first scan. I have had spotting all the way through and started having light bleeding on Wednesday, which seems to finally be picking up now so I'm really glad my body seems to be doing what it needs to do. Fingers crossed it's over soon!

I was upset for a little bit but after having a good cry I feel really positive about the future now. I had this feeling of dread right from getting my BFP and was waiting for the other shoe to drop the whole time. The cycle we conceived was really messed up for me, never got an OPK which is unheard of for me, so everything just felt really off. Also had a CP in April, BFP at 10DPO with FMU and period had arrived by that lunchtime. Never told anyone about that but will mention to my GP at my next appointment. We've had 8 cycles of trying.

Anyway, sorry for that long intro! So lovely to read about all the BFP's happening in here! Hope everyone can enjoy the holidays in some small way

Hi elderberries of course you can join us! Sorry you're here tho. Hope you're feeling ok today and that the bleeding doesn't last too long. Rest up, lots of tea and enjoy some Xmas movies xx ps couldn't bring myself to shorten your name to smells

Hi Elderberries. I am also sorry you have had to join us. Welcome to the gang. I hope you can grab a few days rest and don't bleed for too long.

AF is due sometime between today and Tuesday. No sign so far. And I have FINALLY finished painting that fecking room. Now just to put everything back in it. First of all I am taking a friend to go and pick her dog back up from kennels. She has been homeless and in temporary accommodation that didn't take pets with two of her 3 kids for the last year and a quarter. Her ex did a runner about 3 years ago leaving her with a toddler by him and two older children of her own. He has done nothing to pay towards his kid, got another woman pregnant and is now living with a third who also now has a child by him. When my friend went to divorce him she discovered he had got into a pile of debt before he left and she lost her home and became bankrupt trying to pay off her share of it. One friend has had her cat the whole time she has been homeless and her dog has been in a couple of temporary homes, then eventually into kennels for a couple of months but finally she is back on track, has a lovely council flat to move into and is getting her pets back. I can't wait to see her family back together. :D