TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Morning girls and welcome newbies, although sorry you're here

Lillian - it's so tough when it feels like everyone around you is having babies left, right and centre, and it can be difficult talking to anyone about it as you don't want to sound jealous or bitchy. I have 2 older sisters and for one it took 10 months for her to conceive nr 2 so she was a good sound board for everything.

Fantastic news Sunday!! We've been on the journey since the beginning so I'm so happy everything is going well.

Melvali - try to get a rescan too if you can. My Dr recommended it and I'm so glad I did as they found quite a lot of remaining tissue and put me on antibiotics for 10 days to avoid infection. I was also told to wait 1 month, but knew this was for dating reasons rather than anything medical, but in fact we did wait as just didn't feel quite ready to get back on the saddle so to speak

I have a scan booked for Wednesday. They did a scan on Wednesday there and there was still two large heomotomas. They did an internal exam and tried to remove what they could and they were suprised at how much there was and how much more there yet is that they couldn't get to. So Im hoping the rest passes naturally by Wednesday. I'm going to take a week or two off work as I'm recovering from the urinary sepsis too. My body just feels so exhausted at the moment. My eyes can't stay open but the pain is still quite bad, probably because it is trying to pass this remaining tissue. At Hosp I was getting morphine in between the painkillers to keep on top of it but I was discharged yesterday. The night was tough so I'll try and space out the painkillers better today.

Sounds silly but I have been feeling emotionally ok up until yesterday. I woke up feeling sad and I cried when we left the hospital as I felt as if we were leaving our little Babba there. I had a countdown on my phone for the 12 week scan and the ovia app which I read daily too. I keep checking for them and then remembering

mel I felt I'm a similar state after I miscarried in Dec but it does get easier. Your hormones are all over the place just now which makes the grief uncontrollable. Just allow yourself to rest and recover.

Finally got a negative on my OPK which I think was still showing a positive with pregnancy hormones, 5 days since a pregnancy test went negative.

Just hoping the lines get darker again soon so I can get making a baby!

I am so worried about having problems getting pregnant which is probably stupid I know as I got pregnant so quickly last time. I guess when I get pregnant again I will worry about another miscarriage so the worrying never ends!

That's exactly how I feel. I'm already worrying about how long it'll take getting pregnant and then how I will get through the pregnancy.

Mel I would get rid of those countdowns, remove appointments for scans etc from your calendar and delete your pregnancy apps. You are torturing yourself with all this wishing and remembering. I get it, but holding onto those things is just going to haunt you.

Llindsey I am with you on the worrying about getting pregnant again. This one took 8 months, I'm going to be pissed if it takes another 8 months (though I've sorted some other health problems along the way so hoping my hormones are a little more settled this time). I think the worrying is just training or being a parent- this kind of worrying is just the beginning! Fingers crossed it happens quickly for all of us

oh god, does this mean I will never be worry free again!??

I think tonight I will console myself with a nice bottle of red that I wouldn't let my husband open last month on his own!

Smells - thanks I've deleted the apps already but I keep forgetting and pick up my phone to look for them and then remember!

But yes. I'm hoping I can maybe lose a bit of weight whilst trying to conceive next baby. I'm 9.5 - 10 stone but being just 5'3 my ideal weight range is 7.5 - 9.5 really. If I get back to about 8 stone I'll be well chuffed. Maybe I'll focus on that and get exercise into my routine.

ive decided I'm going to focus on losing weight at the mo and not be so obsessive ttc.

I've been torturing myself these last 5 months on what might have been and obsessively peeing on sticks and feeling disappointed. I was desperate to be pregnant again before my due date but that's not looking likely now unless it happens this month.

So I'm going to try to take a step back and obsess about my weight instead! I'm at slimming world again (stopped when I got pregnant last time) and I'm thinking about myself a bit more.

It's so tough this getting pregnant and staying pregnant malarkey.

Very tough northern light

Are you going to follow a plan? Like you I want something else to focus on. I didn't use ovulation kits last time and was very lucky it happened first cycle. I don't want to obsess this time either but I am feeling like I will. I think I'm going to start trying ASAP but then put it to the back of my mind and focus on the getting healthy bit. I also need to do some exercise and tone up coz I feel all wobbly !

I'm following slimming world. I didn't get too obsessive last time, we'd been trying about 9 months, but only used okps on 3 cycles. However, I've been using them now since sept and I'm starting to get worked up every time I get to about 10dpo and testing too much.

Hopefully if our bodies are relaxed we will conceive quicker too

Hi there,

Hope you don't mind me jumping in on your thread I'm actually trying to help a friend out. I've been lurking on mumsnet for a few years now. My fiance and I aren't really in the right place to start trying for a child just yet. I lost my dad in July of last year and the feelings are still pretty raw but we're hoping our time will come one day when we feel ready.

Anyway, my best friend of over 10 years has been trying for a baby for the last 2 years. Her & her hubby have experienced 2 miscarriages and she's becoming a bit anxious about it all but it's making her very depressed. She's asked me for advice and help and asked to find info for her (she lives in SA so it's not always easy to access the internet or all the info we have available) but having never experienced a miscarriage I don't feel like I could be of much help apart from just being as supportive as I can and being a shoulder to cry on when she needs it. They've done tests and can't really find anything that's causing it. I just feel so helpless. She lost her mom a few years ago so this is all really hard on her.

Aw that's sad to hear. Can you ask her if she is able to locate a nutrionist? Sometimes with the right food /vitamins and minerals it can make a big difference. My mum had 5 miscarriages and 15 years down the line has been diagnosed with coeliac disease. Apparently it can be a contributing factor in miscarriage and she believes she has had it all her life.

Hi Rosy. So sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard to give much in the way of advice. 2 in a row can still just be bad luck. It sucks so much. She could try accupuncture or supplements. I am taking myo-inositol as that is supposed to help improve egg quality. It may help her to talk about it, if so point her to here.

Hi All

Sorry, this thread dropped off my list!

Not had chance to read through all of the updates yet but saw that sunday had a good scan. A MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS to you and mr Sunday. Wonderful news.

Will read back and see what you have all been up to in a min.

Just an update from me.

So we had the spotting on nyd, small amount of brown
A little more brown fibrous spotting on 03/01/16, small amount again

And since then, fingers crossed nothing. Here's hoping this time we are successful..... Today marks 5+1, I have my infertility specialist dr appointment a week on Monday where they will give me an early scan (according to my gp). Already passed one milestone of 4+6, next milestone is 5+4 (Wednesday). Fingers crossed.....

Good to read good news ladies (Frankie, Sunday, Vap)

From my side, I've had a positive OPK over the weekend on day 19 using the cheap one step ones, which was later than I expected, but glad I'm ovulating again post-MC as last mnnth I wasn't totally convinced. My temping (new to that and only started on CD10) and mucus both also concur with the day 19 ovulating. It kind of makes sense on looking over my data on Ovia, on the pill I had 28 day cycles but my cycle after miscarriage was 31 days, so on a 31 day cycle ovulating at day 19 would be OK. I'm now interested to know though both whether we get lucky again this month (as we've done everything we reasonably could, including well timed and regular dtd), but also if not when AF shows up. If it's any sooner than day 32, I'll start wondering about a short luteal phase as that's apparently linked to early miscarriage, which I didn't know until I started googling. We dtd on CD19 on the cycle we got pregnant, so it makes sense to me that I could regularly be ovulating then. Time will tell, going to try to have a relaxed 2WW now. Good luck to the other ladies trying, Lindsey think you are too, how are you getting on?

clara what awful scares you have had! The heavy bleeding just sounds horrifying! But pleased everything seems to be going well apart from being "a bleeder"

elderberries how was the erpc? I hope the guilt has passed. I have luckily worked through the guilt and decided that it was nothing I did just incredibly bad luck. I hope you can too

bonx how is dry January going for you?

lucky how is the temping and opk going? Any ideas when you may ovulate? Totally agree with your sense of purpose! I loved temping.

brenna great news about the positive opk! Great to hear you managed to catch ovulation. Love your DP's line there! I think I'd go for sex 1st! Get it done as close to positive opk as possible . Hope you have more than 1 facecloth

mel I'm so sorry for the awful time you've had. Ref getting over it... I think, as with everything time heals all. The fear factor is still there in full force (I've had 2 sadly). But it certainly makes it easier knowing I'm pregnant again and just have everything crossed that this is 3rd time lucky. I'm on knicker watch like a lunatic! P.s. Different Drs tell you different things after mc. Down say wait 1 month, others longer, others say go straight away. I've been told try immediately if we are ready on mc 1 and on mc 2 were told to wait 1 month. This time we managed to get pregnant the month of mc so I'm overjoyed. Apparently you are more fertile after mc. Not sure if I believe it or not. It's all about when you feel ready I suppose. I still had positives on FRER until about cd12.

Welcome to all the newbies! So sorry you have all found yourselves here. This thread has been so wonderful for me! Hang in there, it will get easier hope you all get your bfps very soon

So my next question is, if I wait for one period (which I think I will), will I still need to do a test to check its negative before TTC?

Vap so glad to hear all is going well! Was wondering how you were doing.

Mel I have bought some Internet cheapies so I can test in a week or two and follow my hormones down until I get a BFN. I would do that if I were you cause OPKs can show up + with residual HCG. Also good to make sure you get negs as that means the MC was complete.

They weren't able to fit me in on Friday so we're in to the hospital first thing tomorrow morning. Feeling very ready for it all to be over and to move on, glad I have the rest of the week off work to recover! Not feeling guilty anymore. At the scan last week the sonographer did what she needed to do for my notes (she knew I was in to sign consent for the ERPC) and then turned the screen around for me to see, showed me baby and what all the different parts were and printed a scan picture for me to take home. It was such a sweet, sweet gesture and really meant the world that she took those few extra seconds to tell me what I was looking at so I would know which bit was the baby when I looked at the photo. Definitely sending the EPU a thank you card, they've been absolutely outstanding.

Haven't been on in a while. I've been having a bad time, still v weepy and upset (had 2 mcs in a row, one in Sept, one in Nov).

Just got my second AF since my last mc. Was convinced I was pg this time as I had been feeling sick the few days before AF arrived and had done the deed lots over Christmas. V disappointing. Feel v downhearted.

Glad to hear of good news for others esp Vap you are my beacon of hope!

I really rushed through my scan when they told me it had died because the scan was primary for the kidneys and I was alone and it was such a shock. When I go back on Wednesday I might ask if I can get a print. I'm not planning to use OPK's but will do a test then because it will give me reassurance as you say.

I am so glad you are still hanging in there Vap. Fingers crossed everything stays well and you have a sticky bean this time.

Mel I think you still want to make sure you have a negative test.

Glad you have lost the guilt Elderberries. I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

6dpo here. drums fingers. I am amusing myself by doing a test run of a cake I am doing for a colleague's wedding. So far it is fun and no too hard. Not finished yet though.

Just popping in to say great news vap. Hope you get your early scan very soon and you can be slightly reassured!

Hope everyone else is ok. Brenna feel your tww pain!

So sorry you are struggling Maud. I feel your pain. I was convinced I was pregnant just before christmas - my luteal phase was even longer than usual. AF arrived christmas eve and I spent the whole holidays miserable and didn't do much.

Hi ladies. Another newbie here. It wasn't so long I ago I was a newbie on the TTC threads and then an antenatal thread and seemingly all too quickly, the mc threads. First pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks starting on Wednesday, ending on Saturday although I'm still bleeding lightly, have minor cramps and feel dreadful. Have a scan on Friday to make sure that everything has passed. In some ways I'm dreading it being officially over, it's just going so fast I can't process it. But at the same time I'm trying to stay positive on focusing on trying again to keep me going through this awful time.

I want to lose weight and improve fitness too. I lost almost a stone in pregnancy anyway because of food aversions and my appetite is greatly diminished right now so I'm going to be eating healthily. I tend to go for a walk every day and cycle a lot but I'm a pootler and I don't really get my heart rate up much for a proper work out so when I feel well again I'll try to increase intensity.

Good luck to everybody here