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TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

1000 replies

Clareinthemiddle · 29/08/2015 13:29

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

OP posts:
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18
sundayraspberry · 19/11/2015 19:51

April that looks like a bfp to me!! Congratulations Grin

Hope AF gets a move on if its coming Clara and brenna

Northernlight22 · 19/11/2015 20:03

Defo a positive!

I'm using first response so would have expected something by now - aaargh!

mascaraisamust · 19/11/2015 20:43

Yes April! 3 bfps this month! A lucky thread indeed. Fingers crossed northern, youre not out until it appears!

frankiepants1 · 19/11/2015 23:29

ah my post from this morning didn't work!! April that's a fab line, didn't even have to squint or anything!!! congratulations Flowers

sophia, im looking after myself with wine AND exercise!!! (more exercise than wine tho, don't worry! I'm only borderline acoholic, and only for the 1st 2 weeks of my cycle!!)

Brenna it's so confusing isn't it because the symptoms are so similar - when will you test if AF doesn't show?

I'm on CD5 - boring! also still got a heavyish (for me) AF and I never usually have this long (until mc). still cramping which I've had since adter ov, so 15 days now, hoping it goes away when AF does and i can maybe have at least 1 week per cycle that I don't cramp?!
This time next week I'll be getting the old cb digi OPK out, woohoo! and I bet there are some more bfps on here before December!

xxx

Vap0 · 20/11/2015 00:45

april how many weeks and days are you? You must be similar to me Grin
I used an ic this morning - the thin one
The fat one was from the day I had my positive on frer, nothing to see on that one, not sure if I saw a shadow on it or made it up. Testing every other day to try not to get too obsessed but also to reassure myself with darkening lines

TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies
AprilShowers16 · 20/11/2015 07:51

Vap I'm 4 weeks 6 days - too the test again this morning and it's maybe slightly darker, they're both very similar to yours. How many weeks are you?

My dh can see the 2nd line but he's holding back excitement until it gets darker and I'm trying not to think about it too much. It's hard expecting to see blood every time you go to the toilet. We're away this weekend so I'll prob wait and test again in Monday.

Thank you everyone for your congrats :) hoping there are some more bfp to come soon!

Vap0 · 20/11/2015 08:50

Hi

We are 3w 5d so you are a little way ahead!

Fingers crossed for all the the bfps in the hope they all stick!

And good luck to the ladies who haven't had theirs yet! It's only a matter of time and hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.

Have any of the bfps joined any nice pregnancy groups on mn?

Vap0 · 20/11/2015 08:51

brenna any news this morning? Will you be testing?

Brenna24 · 20/11/2015 18:51

Bfn this morning. No AF yet. I have a FRER for tomorrow morning.

mascaraisamust · 20/11/2015 19:49

April we are the same Wink 5 weeks tomorrow.

Brenna fingers crossed x

AprilShowers16 · 20/11/2015 22:39

mascara ah lovely! Hoping it both goes well for both of us! How are you feeling? My lines are very faint, anyone know why my lines would be as faint as vap when I'm a week ahead of her?

brenna let us know how you get on! northern have you defo missed your AF now?

Any one else testing this weekend?

Vap0 · 21/11/2015 00:01

Try not to worry april it could be that I was more dehydrated than you, or just different batches of tests with slightly different sensitivities, or you could have ovulated later than you thought. Loads of reasons.

I'm going to test again tomorrow and hope it will be a bit darker. Will post a pic.

Northernlight22 · 21/11/2015 08:36

Yeah defo missed - on cd40 and this mornings test still negative.

Wondering if CB showed when I was due to ovulate, but I didn't for whatever reason as I'm about 19-20 dpo.

Sophia1984 · 21/11/2015 08:49

My friend keeps sending me constant baby photos on Whatsapp even though she knows about miscarriage! I did tell her that I didn't want her to feel age couldn't but one a day is a bit much!

Brenna24 · 21/11/2015 09:29

April you could just metabolise it differently.

I hope you get a bfp soon *Northern.

Sophia, that is hard.

Bfn with the FRER here. Still no AF and the AF symptoms have mostly gone away. I think I am 14 dpo today and last time I got a bfp on an IC by this stage and 2 days later a line on a 25miU test. So I am pretty certain I am not pregnant. AF is just playing silly buggers.

Vap0 · 21/11/2015 10:56

sophia I'm sorry you have a thoughtless friend. Can you delete whatsapp for a while? I had people putting FB pics up every day of babies so I hid all of their updates from my newsfeed. I found it made it a lot easier. I can understand your friend gushing about her child and I'm sure I'll be the same when we eventually have one. I think we need to accept that people will and it is their right to be happy and they don't mean anything by it. Although after what we have been through to get to where we are I won't be putting anything about pregnancy on Facebook at all. Just one day (hopefully the end of July 16) there will be a picture of us with our new baby coming home from hospital.

northern how long has it been since your mc? How crap your cycles are all over the place. Hope they get back to normal or your bfp is just around the corner.

brenna any news? Fingers crossed!

claire I've decided we will have an early scan the week before Xmas as we want to tell parents on Xmas eve/day (At 8 weeks). Will have a battle on my hands to keep it all quiet before then as have at least 2 occasions where I'm out with my parents where I'll have to have a bloody good excuse for not drinking.

sundayraspberry · 21/11/2015 11:05

Sophia I think you've gotta be honest with your friend and tell her it hurts you. No need to be brave for her sake, perhaps tell her to limit to once a week? Or can you block her? No idea how what's ap works, I'm soooo behind the times!

vap I joined a pregnant after mc group on the pregnancy pages but am not v active on there at the most as lots of people seem to be 30weeks+.

I've been a bit silly and got myself worried about my lack of symptoms. Boobs aren't big and sore like last time and other than tiredness, I don't feel pregnant. Can someone give me a severe talking to and tell me to stop worrying? Blush

Vap0 · 21/11/2015 11:23

Sunday there are so many people on the anti natal groups, I can't face them. On the July 16 group there are already 2 threads as one has already filled up. I struggle with this one with the numbers, no hope with that one. I've kind of given up on the pregnancy forums.

Try not to worry about not feeling pregnant. The tiredness is enough of a sign. I'm not feeling pregnant at all either other than tiredness and weird occasional bloating. Don't forget that it is highly unlikely we will have second miscarriages. I'll have a look for the stat. That's what's keeping me going. We have been through the mill already, it would just be ridiculously unfair if it was to happen again. Just look after yourself and think positively Flowers

MaudGonneMad · 21/11/2015 11:51

The 20% chance of recurrence is about the same chance of having a miscarriage at all - ie the likelihood doesn't go up after having had one.

Vap0 · 21/11/2015 12:43

Fucking hell!
I've just had brown spotting.
I'm so scared I'm going to lose this one too Sad

sundayraspberry · 21/11/2015 15:41

Oh vap. Has it stopped now? I asked the midwife on thurs about spotting and she said not to worry, spotting is very common. I know that doesn't stop you worrying tho.

Vap0 · 21/11/2015 16:45

Thanks sunday did your midwife tell you why some people have spotting or what it is from? It was only a little bit on the loo paper before, nowhere near as much as the 1st mc but still has me terrified. It has stopped now thank goodness. Showed dp (bit grim but needs must) and he said he didn't think it was anything to worry about, not that he has any idea.
Everything crossed it doesn't come back.

Brenna24 · 21/11/2015 16:57

Hugs Vap I hope it is nothing. I am so scared that we do end up pregnant only for it to happen again, so I know you must be so worried. Almost everyone I have spoken to had some form of bleeding during their pregnancies, especially at this stage when the baby is implanting and can nick blood vessels.

Clarab0w · 21/11/2015 17:28

Vap I know that must be terrifying but try not to worry - it's so normal early on but obviously a massively nervewracking thing when you've been through so much already. Sending you lots of hugs for a calm and reassuring few days ahead x

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