TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Sunday its so strange how our cycles are exactly the same and we are due to start Clomid at the same time too...

Hope everyone is ok, big hugs to all. It's tough but we will all get there, hopefully sooner rather than later x

I'll be testing at 10dpo I reckon frankie. I have no willpower I'm not feeling overly positive though!

Turi I got my bfp in may having not had af for over 8months! My last cycle was 70days! Technically been trying again for 4 months.

I was gonna wait until 14 dpo but if you're all gonna test 10dpo, sod it I'll join you! What day mascara?

I want to wait until 14dpo but I've got a family party and I want to know. I won't be drinking even if I get a bfn as my last didnt show until 18dpo!

I also want to know before my next private appointment which is on the Monday as I'll cancel it if I miraculously get a bfp and be £130 better off before xmas!! But I need the clomid on the Tuesday (cd2) if I'm not.

But... AF won't prob show anyway with being on progesterone, I was told to take it until 14dpo then test. Dilemma!!

It will only be a cheapie on 10dpo! My last cheapie though sunday, it's on Sunday!

sounds promising turi, fingers crossed!

hello sundayraspberry!

can i ask you guys - did anyone have a relatively normal 1st cycle after MC?

on CD15 but as i've only just started charting today, i've no idea when (or if?!) i'll ovulate this cycle...

i know i should probably be waiting until after AF to bother with any of this but patience is not my strong suit. seems nuts that 3 months ago i wasn't even trying, 2 months ago i was pg, and now i'm TTC and obsessing about whether or not it'll ever happen for me...rollercoaster doesn't even come close!

My first cycle was over 45 days long but my LP was the same.

Second cycle, all returned to normal!

sundayraspberry gosh, that sounds difficult. I’m sorry you have that uncertainty .

clararb0w It’s a blinking horrible rollercoaster isn’t it? My first cycle was 30 days (instead of 25). I thought I was ovulating very early on but when I spoke to the EPAU they told me that OPKs can be affected by the leftover HCG. I did a pregnancy test, and another, and another… they were positive for 2-3 weeks post ERPC. Tbh, I’ve no idea when I ovulated that cycle! I had weird aches and pains which haven’t entirely disappeared too. If you can bear it, try to BD every 2-3 days and then you’ll know you have all bases covered. My husband couldn’t stand the sight of me that first month.

I am so tempted to test today… (11dpo). For the past few months I’ve put it off and put it off and then will spontaneously go buy an OPK and do the test at the most unsuitable time of day (i.e. at work… in fact, my 1st BFP was in the office loo!) I’m going to hold out and try not to test until my period is late… famous last words!

So Sunday it is then mascara! Think you can hold out till then turi?

Statistically speaking with at least 6 of us in 2ww we should get at least one bfp? If its not me I will still be claiming a collective victory!

Surely we must?!! oh god, if you are all testing on Sunday I'll never hold out until next weekend!!!!

xxx

Clara, my first cycle was about 45 days too. I just got the first cycle out of the way and started trying again the following month (partly because I spend a month drinking and comfort eating!)

Frankie, I'm next weekend so I'll hold out with you!

Next Friday is what I'm targeting as my earliest test date which is 13dpo - hoping Friday 13th is lucky! (Only testing on Friday as we are away for the weekend)

Oh dear. I caved. BFN I'm afraid

northern I'll be about 11 dpo next Fri, I'll probably test with ya!!

Turi, why not test tomorrow or Friday with fmu? you'll be 12/13dpo then and more likely to get something......xxx

Sophia - my period was really painful too- so big hugs and a glass of wine to you!

Hi Clara- yes I had quite a normal cycle I think 31 days. But couldn't face trying and drink wine instead.

I normally ov around day 12 (today). I'm using clear blue ones: 2 days ago I got the low fertile circle and yesterday is was solid smile which is peak!!? No flashing smiley- so hope we didn't miss it!

If I have to use opks next cycle think I will try some other ones- thanks for the recommendation Sunday.

Sounds too early Turi!

frankie and northern I'm holding out until next weekend too! I'm 7 dpo and have had some twinges and back pain so wondering if it could be implantation but didn't have this last time and thinking it's probably just gas/over active imagination :) only time will tell I guess

Good for you holding out April, I'd never be able to wait until next weekend if I was 7dpo just now!!

I am over analysing everything already, I know that if it was this time next week I would be convinced it was pregnancy symptoms! must remember that next week and not get my hopes up!

hope everyone's ok today xxx

mountainmouse I found the clearblue OPKs stressed me out a bit – one month I had 6 days of flashing smilies, the next I had none! I’ve gone back to Boots own brand.

aprilshowers16 will keep my fingers crossed for you.

I took another test this morning (12 dpo) and it was negative. I’m so upset I’m considering having a break from TTC. Four months down the line and the stress is taking its toll.

hugs Turi, its hard isn't it? Maybe a break would do you some good? or not charting etc and just have the next month for fun? although not convinced you're out just yet hunny..........

pregnancy announcement at work, and have been fine. jealous in a nice way and I keep telling myself that I don't know her journey and what's she's possibly struggled through (maybe nothing, but it's helping me!)
I am on holiday from tomorrow until 17th, work is actually helping me not think too much and know that I'm going to drive myself mad next week!! xxx

Hi All

Sorry I've been absent, been really struggling recently.
Sorry about your bfn turi
I'm using the clear blue opk's this month and wonder if you can answer a question? So I've had 4 days of smiley flashing faces, I'm hoping that if I do actually ovulate it will be on sat one maybe sun. If my levels go down and I don't ovulate will it go back to a blank circle? I'm hopeful I ov this month, I'm quite liking the CB sticks, they at least tell you when you need to dtd unlike the ic's I have which are just total guess work.

sunday I like your optimism! Yes! We need a positive!

hey Vap, lovely to hear from you. Sorry youre struggling though.
I'm not sure about going back to the blank circle, I know theres a helpline for them and might be worth a call? I have seen on threads elsewhere of people contacting them and they've been really helpful.
I had 5 days of flashing smileys this cycle and then got my solid - I think the instructions say to test for 9 days? would you still get a flashing if you weren't going to ovulate? I can't remember what the flashing has detected (oestrogen?) - sorry, I am not helping at all am I?! xxx

thanks so much mountainmouse, turi and northernlight - i'll just have to wait and see i guess, but thanks for reassurance that i (hopefully) won't be waiting eons for bloody AF.

and turi and vap - since i can't do much else, here's some ! it's so tough. some days all you can do is let it be awful, and wait for the tide to change. and it WILL. there are babies and healthy pregnancies out there with our names on! we'll get there xx

Really have everything crossed for more bfps this month!!!! Love the collective victory Sundayraspberry

Sorry you're struggling Vap. I'm not sure about the blank circle either, but don't stop testing yet.

Maybe a break will do you good Turi. I didn't temp this last month as was fed up with all the charting. Didn't even check cm. Just did the opks.

So I've booked in for scan next Monday. I'm so nervous. Keep seeing that empty sac on the screen Positive thoughts, positive thoughts!!

Thinking positive thoughts for you Clare!

Hey, sorry for all the delayed responses to you all. Keeping everyone in my thoughts and keeping everything crossed for the bfps. And I'm so sorry for the bfns.

I had my scan on Wednesday, was a bit daunting as it was in the same place as last time but fortunately a different nurse. We had a sac and a yolk sac and it all matched up to my dates so that's positive. That's all they can say at the mo in again next Friday and hoping that we will see a bit more. I'm not convinced that it's going to end well yet but my husband is happy with what he's seen and thinks it all looks better than the last scans so that's something.

frankie I'd rather hold out and have AF let me know then have to stare at a BFN :) Also I'm not testing for my ovulation date so it might be slightly wrong on my dates anyway.

hugs for turi have a break from charting and testing (and this thread if it's not helpful) and just enjoy yourself next month :)

rhodes glad your scan went well, I think for me one of the saddest things about having had a mc is the loss of innocence and joy at being preganant. Even though I'm not pg now I know I'll be worried sick for the first 12 weeks at least next time and convinced it won't end will. Crossing everything and praying for your next scan to go well too!

I've had back ache again today and some cramps but as I've just started a new job so it could easily be my body freaking out about actually having to do some work so trying not to over think it.

Just wondering how everyone else is approaching drinking alcohol and tea/coffee etc? I'm not sure what the rules are on tea and coffee so I've just tried to cut down and just have one a day, I bought decafe coffee which really baffled my husband but I just wanted to be careful. Alcohol is harder though because I don't want to draw attention to not drinking, plus I can't keep up TTC if I can never drink!

Hi all

Welcome Clara. Sorry you are here, but glad you are sharing the chaos with us.

That sounds really positive Rhodes. I'll keep everything crossed for you.

I seem to be getting my cycle back, I have had ever increasing lines on OPKs over the last 4 days. Which is a relief. I am still spotting a bit too though. I wish that would pack it in now. That is 2.5 weeks. Has anyone else started TTC when still spotting? It stopped for a couple of days and I started to get hopeful. I am worried that if there are still a couple of burst blood vessels in there then they are going to take ages to heal.

Mother has been at it again. I phoned her on the 10th anniversary of Dad's death and we were chatting away. She asked how I was doing and I said I was recovering but it was slow. Her answer "It took time when I lost your father. Of course that was, I hesitate to say a real loss, certainly a more long term loss". Uh...thanks Mum....... Bless her, she just doesn't get it at all.

I am currently typing one handed as my dear dog has found the position he can stop stressing about fireworks in and has fallen asleep on my left arm. My back is killing me and I need a wee but I daren't move. He is snoring and dream twitching in his sleep.