TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Congrats Clare- lots of calm and happy vibes for you!

Sorry been very quiet - was just waiting for af to leave as I know it makes me very emotional.
I will start in opks from tomorrow morning and wait for ovulation. Should it always be first pee for the opk?

Hugs for all the insensitive comments that you have all had. I feel the same: people don't seem to understand mc and how hard it is and how much it affects us.
I have fallen out with my brother because of the things he's said and basically told me to get over it- him and his gf are pregnant and are 3 weeks more than I would be. Luckily we live in different places so at least it's easy to not speak to them.

MM xx

frankiepants1 the ovulation pain post-miscarriage can be alarming. I am still getting it on the 4th cycle. When I saw the gynaecologist (Fri 23 Oct) he said he’d check my egg reserves and if I was due to ovulate. I told him I thought I was going to ovulate from the RH side and I was right. It’s not in our heads! I had been terrified I had an ovarian cyst the pain was so sharp but I didn't so try not to worry. Remind me, how many cycles have you had since your miscarriage? I didn’t return to my normal cycle length until the 3rd so your cycle may be longer than 28 days this month. If not, you’ve 12 days which is plenty to fertilise/implant.

Oh, Sophia1984 I know what you mean about the relief that your cycle is returning to its usual length. I didn’t trust my body at all post-miscarriage. I hope your AF isn’t too bad.

mountainmouse I’m sorry your brother was so harsh – I think some people don’t like to deal with the negativity. So unfair.

Hi ladies, mind if I join you? Hope it's not too premature since I only miscarried a few weeks ago (confirmed MMC at 9 weeks mid-October) but as we're not using any contraception anymore we're on the TTC wagon I guess!

Really feel for all of us on here - makes the whole baby game an ordeal, doesn't it? But so glad we can all support each other going through it.

Congrats to all the ladies who've already got their BFPs - you give me hope! And to all the rest of us, good bloody luck!

hey Clara! sorry for what you've been through to have to join us here, but welcome!!

Turi the pain I felt was quite like early pregnancy round ligament stretching except on one side, which was odd. I either thought it was ovulation or that I was going to have a super short cycle.

This is just my 1st since mc - erpc on 22nd Sept and had AF 24 days later, I'm just assuming I'll have similar cycle as before so that I don't over think things (ha! which I will anyway!) although if I've ov'd a couple of days later then maybe I'll have a 30 day cycle instead? now I don't know when to test.......just go by dpo I suppose?
its amazing that you could tell what side, was he impressed?! one thing I love about charting fertility is getting to know your own body and signs etc.

MM good to hear from you, it's good once AF buggers off and you can get the opks out and feel a bit more in control. I think it depends what kind of OPK you use - I've got the clear blue digi and it recommends fmu but I think you can use any time - the strips I think you are best to use late afternoon / early evening?

Sophia I'm so sorry you are out, I had everything crossed for you. although it's good that your cycle lasted a bit longer this time and wasn't so short. I dont know alot about temping so I don't know about dips and increases etc, sorry! although if I am not lucky this month I may get a thermometer and I will be asking your advice if you don't mind!!!

where is everyone on their cycle then? I am CD17 - if I got static smiley today does that make tomorrow 1dpo?!!
I can't believe I'm in the 2ww, I will try not to over analyse but I am glad I have you lovely girls here to come to to chat about things xxx

Of course clarab0w you can join us. Just sorry that you need to.

frankiepants1 since miscarrying during the 2ww, I’ve had period-like cramps, pains in my ovaries, lower back ache and yes a pulling sensation in my back/stomach that I had when I was pregnant. The body plays cruel tricks on you, that’s all I can say.
My cycle pre-pregnancy was 25 days. Post ERPC, 1st cycle was 30 days, 2nd was 27 days, 3rd returned to 25 days.

My ovulation day pre-pregnancy was CD12. Post ERPC, 1st cycle no idea, 2nd cycle was day 14, 3rd cycle day 12 (consistent with my cycle returning to 25 days).
I read somewhere that the luteal length (the number of days between ovulation and next period) rarely changes so if you have ovulated later in you cycle, chances are your cycle will be longer this month.
The gynaecologist told me that you ovulate the day after LH surge (solid smiley face) so it will be the day AFTER tomorrow that you’ll be on 1DPO. Does all that make sense?

Congrats Claireinthemiddle that's great news :) Interesting that you're going to see if you can get an early scan, I can't decided whether I would want one again or not. When I mc I had an early scan and everything was fine and then 10 days later the little speak was gone so I have mixed feelings about them. If you're at the heartbeat stage though it might be good to go for it if they'll give you one.

frankiepants1 I'm about to embark on the 2ww - although not been using tests so it's hard to be sure, going to dtd tomorrow and thurs but pretty sure I ovulated Thursday just gone.

Sophia1984 Sorry to hear about AF, I was due in April too :( That good that your body is getting back to normal, I think mine is too but won't really know until AF arrives this month.

Welcome clarab0w so sorry to hear your news, hope you're feeling ok and it wasn't too awful

turi1983 thanks for the advice, my dh will be pleased :) I think we have basically done that this month, assuming I ovulated when I think I did we dtd every other day and then a few days in a row around the right time. Quite pleased for a night off tonight though, we're both exhausted! I've tried to be quite open about our mc too, I think it's important that people know how common it is. Most of my friends don't have children yet so it was all very new for us, where as friends we know who already have kids know of lots of people who's had mcs because they're in those circles. I think you're right that you just have an expectation of how life might go and then it's hard to adjust your thinking when life doesn't go as planned. The only thing about being open is that now people know we're ttc so I feel like I'll be watched to see how much I'm drinking etc.!

Dear all,

Wish I had time to respond to you all!

Welcome Clara thank you for the good luck wishes.

Claire congratulations!! That's wonderful news! Is this the thread's first BFP? It's fitting as you created this thread as a haven for us all. Wishing you the best of luck for a journey which will be both happy and bittersweet.

Turi i know exactly how unfair it feels - i followed all the rules too. Heard on the grapevine that someone at work is pg - last time I saw her she was eating a bag of Minstrels for lunch. She gets fatter every time I see her. I got an out of office email response from her and my first thought was: she's off sick cos her fat body can't cope with being pregnant.
On balance Turi I think we are in a better position no matter how unfair it seems, because we know that we did everything we possibly could and we're spared the agony of wondering if it was something we did wrong.

This weekend was when we saw husband's parents, brother and his wife & kids. It should have been such a joyous occasion - we were going to make our big announcement. Instead I saw how easy they seemed to have it - 2 kids at 40, living in big house on estate with loads of other 40 year old mums with kids all the same age, all still with amazing figures, just standing around getting drunk without a care in the world. It feels like everyone is leaving us behind, family and friends' kids getting older and older, so even if we do conceive again all the other kids will be so much older.

Brenna Sakura Frankie I really feel for you, it must be so sad knowing that you would have been going on the pregnancy journey with friends and family. I can understand you dreading pregnancy announcements before you get yours.

Again, try to end on a positive -
Can anyone top this baby announcement overheard on the train yesterday: "Can you believe she's knocked another sprog out??"

Congrats Claire!

I've been a bit useless at posting on here, been struggling again these last few weeks. I'm in the 2ww now, cd21 so it's a waiting game.

Off to catch up on where everyone else is now...

April and Northern we can do this 2ww together!

thanks for the response Turi, all makes perfect sense. I wonder if the exaggerated symptoms are due to being more fertile after mc? The body gearing up for pregnancy and because we've recently been pregnant we feel it more?
I will probably still test next weekend as planned, even though I should hold out a few days longer........I could say now I won't as I'd be scared of a cp and the lines disappearing, but I know come next Sat which I have as my next AF date I'll be sneakily testing!!!

Congratulations Claire that's great news. I'm having an early scan. Haven't had any more bleeding but my own doctor has been great and rushed through a blood test. The levels are high enough that they should be able to see something in a scan. So fingers crossed. Just passed the first hurdle from the last pregnancy with nothing to report so feeling a bit more hopeful that this is going better!

How is everyone else doing?

I’m 10dpo – AF due on Saturday (day before 2nd wedding anniversary...‘hurrah’).

I think I’m out of the running. I've had the same lower back pain that I had this time last month. Plus, I had a massive temperature peak yesterday and then a massive drop today. Your temperature goes down if your period is coming due to the decrease in progesterone.

I can’t stop crying. I’m not normally a crier. Complete mess

Oh turi sorry to hear you're having such a crap day. Last time AF came I cried for days, couldn't tell if it was because I was feeling sad that another month had gone by since mc or just hormones messing with me

Treat yourself to a nice chilled out evening tonight :)

massive hugs Turi xxx

Rhodes good to hear all ok with you xxx

thanks frankiepants1, turi1983 and irisPurple1 - maybe we don't have the best boat, but it's good to be in it all together. here's hoping it's full sail ahead for good news all round...

and there's some lovely news on here already - congrats rhodes and clare.

i'm CD14 technically, but as it's my first cycle since MC and there are none of the usual mid-cycle signs, i'm guessing i'm in a for a bit of a weird one this time around and not much chance of a BFP this month. will just have to enjoy DTD again, i guess

turi, cry away, it's a tough ride, this. hope you had a massive glass of wine to hand!

Hi all, just checking in. Hope you're all ok and those in the tww I hope it flies by!

Nothing new here, hence lack of reporting. Progesterone has now started and I'm cd24, AF due in 5 days but the progesterone will most probably delay AF until I stop taking it. So this is the tww! 4dpo... Boring.

Aww Turi - they crying is totally normal with period hormones. Yesterday I was out shopping and slipped over on the leaves and started crying and couldn't breathe! It just takes one little thing to set me off when I'm hormonal.

I'm having such a painful period - it's normally only one or two days it really hurts but by gosh it hurts! And the fatigue! Had to take a complicated bus journey to a meeting today, only to find out that postcode was wrong, so then had to walk for ages and I didn't even get offered a cuppa :-( Home safe and sound now :-)

Hugs Turi. The 2ww is so hard!! But you never know. I was convinced af was around the corner...

And poor you with the pains Sophia. Not like af isn't bad enough!?!

So Drs have given me a letter so I can go to the epu for a scan but it brings back such horrible memories from last time and you just have to sit and wait to been seen, which took 3.5 hours the day I found out about the mmc!! Think I'm going to pay out for a private one and am going to try and wait until 7 weeks, which feels like a life time away, but apparently you'll hear the heartbeat then. I'm absolutely terrified to see that empty sac like last time .
When is your scan Rhodes?

Just wanted to add that I have been going to acupuncture for last 2 months. I can't say for sure it helped, but I feel like it did. The lady I went to is a fertility specialist and she gave me lots of advice. She said she finds most of her clients get pregnant within 3 months of seeing her, which is fab!! Would definitely recommend.

Claire, I'm sure that visit to the EPU will be tough - sounds like a crappy system though to sit and wait?

Hi all, thank you for all your comforting words sophia my mc was in May and I heard so much about being super fertile right after that I was quite optimistic... I'm obviously happy for db and sil, db is going to be a brilliant dad but I just don't really want to deal with it. Luckily they don't live close by so I don't have to see her bump grow (gosh I sound like a bitter twisted cow....). Cd26 here, last cycle was only 24 days but average is 28 days, only managed to dtd once...
Congrats to clare, turi hope you're okay.
Have a nice day everyone, I'm off to work now.

Sophia1984 my first period post ERPC was horrendous. I had contractions in my back which woke me at 4am and reduced me to tears. I suggest hot water bottles and strong painkillers. And hugs from husband!

Clareinthemiddle I completely understand your fear and tbh, I don’t know if I’d like my first scan to be in the same place as my last one. I’ve had two private scans – I’d highly recommend. No waiting time and I found they involved me more in the process/explained things to me.

Thank you for all your lovely messages yesterday . So glad I joined this thread - you're all lovely. I had an awful headache and stitch like pains in my sides yesterday and weirdly, an itchy lower stomach .

Today, my temperature has gone back up again and I feel a bit sick but then I felt sick last month. AF due on Saturday so not long to wait now… (she says ‘nonchalantly’ whilst going a bit bananas )

Apologies in advance for the long post

Sorry to all those feeling crappy at the mo, I like how open everyone is about their feelings on this thread, just goes to show that we all have the same sadness, jealousy, guilt, anger etc. Sakura you are NOT a bitter and twisted cow! My colleague's pregnant wife has a habit of popping into our work randomly, makes me cry every time I see her belly. Brenna your mums comment was just awful, I hope it was a one off.

Good luck to all in 2ww, Frankie northern April turi and anyone else I've missed!

Hi also to Clara I hope your stay with us is short and you get bfp again soon.

Sorry you are out this month Sophia. Great that your cycle length has improved tho.

Mountain mouse I use one step opks, cheapies from Amazon and they say to do them in the afternoon/early eve. I would recommend them as they worked well even with my pcos.

Rhodes lovely to hear from you. And relieved that you are getting special attention and care from drs.

I'm now 5dpo ish. Also got thrush Turi and having on/off headaches. No idea when af would be due so any suggestions when I should test?

Seen consultant this week and I have my clomid prescription, so ready with that if af doesn't appear. Am desperately hoping not to have to need it. Been feeling v positive since having a natural cycle so I think I will be needing some cheering up when it's a bfn.

sundayraspberry remind me, how many cycles post-miscarriage are you? And how long is your average cycle?

lovely to hear from you Sunday! someone else to share the 2ww with - let's hope the clomid isn't needed this cycle, got everything crossed for you (and me, and us all!!)

I have ordered some frers, got am email to say they've been dispatched and I know I'll now want to test early! I'll try holding out into 10dpo at the earliest......

*until 10dpo, not into!