Thank you all for your lovely words, it means such a lot to have you all here, although I wish none of us were if that makes sense.
betty how are you doing? I'm so sorry you were treated so insensitively when you had your procedure, as others have said if you can face writing to the hospital I would really encourage you to. Or if you have a good gp they could do this for you. I totally empathise with that anger about being pregnant for so much time and yet no baby, I'm so so sorry you are going through this, it's just hard hard hard. I'm sending you hugs and hope you are physically ok at least. I had an erpc when I had an mmc in March last year and physically was okay quite quickly but I was a wreck emotionally for a while. I so hope you have lots of support in rl. Thinking of you x
ellie fingers crossed your AF starts to get back on track soon, it's so hard waiting for your body to start feeling normal again isn't it xx
kayleigh thinking of you today, do hope all went well with your scan x
critter a quiet little 'yippee' on reaching 12 weeks x
Afm, we had our neonatal consultant meeting on Friday. It was a good but hard meeting, the consultant had clearly done a lot of work on looking at all the samples, tests etc since W died. She is a really lovely lady so I feel glad we had that continuity of seeing her again. There was lots of detail but the summary is that there was no obvious cause for why I went into labour early, no infection, no disease, none of the usual suspects. While I did have a partial abruption during labour this was felt to be as a result of intense/too fast labour and not the cause. The abruption did cause some bleeding which may have had an effect on W's liver function and why he struggled to deal with all the bruising he had and ultimately what led to the bleeds on his brain. The c section was incredibly difficult due to his positioning and none of this would've helped but no direct cause as such. I'm glad we had the meeting but also feel so bloody angry at this thing called 'luck' - why us, why him? The harsh answer is just because. The consultant felt that if we did ttc then I'd be at no greater risk than the rest of the population on it happening again, but that they would want me under close observation. I'm due to see the obstetric consultant in a couple of weeks who will cover this in more detail. Dh still too terrified to even consider ttc but I've said we should just wait to see obstetrics before we talk about it any more. Feeling exhausted but glad to have had the meeting and grateful to have an excellent consultant. I should've been 39 weeks pregnant today.
Sorry not to name check everyone else, hope you're all doing ok and sorry for the massive rambling post xxx