TTC after MC; hand holding, hugs and lots of things that can JTFO!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Well I hope all the needles and healthy eating pay off Grey. There's been some isoflavone success on the August bus - the lovely lady who brought all the info regarding soy got her BFP today - her first cycle on SIF!

Hey guys, I'm back. I'm struggling again. Had allowed myself to hope mainly due to the really intensely sensitivity I've had in my breasts for 2 weeks! but had to poas today due to barbecue this afternoon (was due yesterday) not pregnant and now 3 hours later the pain has started.
I'm bored and tired of doing this EVERY month. I can put it out of my mind until the two days around AF being due and then it just hits me again. How do people get through it.

Feeling a bit crampy today and the dark brown is still continuing now on day 6. (Still not a lot but definitely there) Wish it would make up its mind what's going on. Not sure I can hang on till Wednesday for more bloods, the Thursday for the results.

Oh allthefours I'm so sorry it looks like you're going through this all again. Really hoping the GP is wrong and you get some reassurance on Wednesday. Is that the soonest you can be seen?

lauren'sorry to hear your spotting is still there to cause you worry. Sounding positive that it's reduced in quantity though. Good luck for next week.

Thank you ladies. It's a very tough situation, people in real life don't really understand.
Not quite sure what's going on, bleeding seems to have stopped (for now). I've had some cramping but again seems to have stopped. GP's have done pregnancy tests each time which were still positive. We tried to get an earlier appointment with the EPU but Wednesday was the earliest they would offer. Right now I feel very much in limbo. I've been through every emotion possible. I guess what will be will be and will hopefully has some more answers on Wednesday but I also think that it may be too early to see a heartbeat on a scan.
It's frustrating, I have 3 children from my first marriage. When doctors ask if I have children, they almost take the attitude that I don't need a fourth and should be 'grateful' for my children.

Good luck lauren and allthefours, hope you both have good news soon x
Im back girls and this waiting for af is doing my head in!! Had a mmc 25june, passed naturally, then had 7day period 25thjuly, red-brown-red for the 7days, am normally 3days every 26days!! Its now 30days since my lmp and im waiting on af or hopefully a BFP, am i still in WTF cycle?? Only symptoms i have is serious bloating and am feeling a bit rough with a chest infection, have had BFNs last 3mornings so dunno where i am cycle wise, i know its prob best to hold out and test in a few days!! Anyone got any advice/experience???

Lola I didn't get my bfp until I was 5weeks the last two mc's I had, so no bfp isn't an indication of anything (either way) I had all bloat as an early symptom with the first but the second one which I got in my wtf cycle had much stronger symptoms so was extra hard when I started to mc again. This time round had rather mild symptoms with some brown bleeding but increasing hcg levels. But when I had my little girl about 4 years ago. I had no symptoms and had a full period wasn't until I was about 8 weeks that I thought my boobs are sore hmm.

It's true what they say that it's different every time. Can't take anything for granted.

No experience lola but I'm in my WTF cycle too and my body seems to be trying to ovulate over and over and over and not actually managing it. I'm on cd24 but I've had exaggerated pmt symptoms for the past few days. I keep getting awful cramps in my sides and front, loads of cm and then it all goes away. Definitely not pregnancy symptoms, I just want my AF to come in the next 4 days so I can move on from this god awful cycle. So it's probably just a case of trying to ignore it all until AF or BFP shows up.

As desperate as I am for a BFP I just fear it so much. I'm upset that it probably won't happen this month but terrified for the months ahead when we might actually get one, I didn't give ttc a second thought before last month, now it's all I think about.

allthefours I hope you're ok, big hugs to you. We're all here for you.

Hi all
Hope we are doing ok. Had a bit of mini meltdown in John Lewis today. Only had my ERPC a week ago so was defo too soon. But was out with my Mum today (trying to get out house) and thought I'd try a dress on for a wedding I'm going to in October (retail therapy and all that) and I tried it on and I had - still a very noticeable bump. I got so upset, it broke my heart. And my mother didn't help (without meaning too) as I was upset - talking about my bump and she said "oh that will go in a couple of weeks"

I don't want my fucking bump to go, that was my baby, I want to still be pregnant. I don't want to "not worry, it will go in two weeks"

I know my Mum didn't mean anything by it, but it upset me.

I feel like everyone thinks I should be just getting on with it??? I feel like I'm the only person it matters to???

I've had my 2nd mc in 3 months. A 2nd time that our hope and dreams for our little bean have been taken away and everyone just shuffles their feet and look uncomfortable.

Then I got home and my 12wk scan letter had arrived. Salt on open wound with a vinegar on top.

So went and saw Inbetweeners 2 so I could stop crying and laugh at a shit infantile film.

Sigh. Today was a shit day

Oh Brummie, what a horrible day you've had. Try to tell yourself tomorrow will be better. Because one day at a time is the only way any of us can come to terms with what happens and if you take a few steps back that's ok too. No one can tell you to move on until your ready. It happened to you not them and just give yourself a great big hug and say look how well I'm doing even if you cried all day.

Big hugs to you x

feeling like no one understands at the moment. My mum never struggled so doesn't quite grasp it. And it's so hard. I've struggled through my periods for years being told that getting pregnant would sort all the pain. It hasn't. I have never found anything in my life this hard and feel such a failure.. Not sure how to talk about this to others but other than taking two times to pass my driving test my MC last year was the first time I failed at anything. Every month since then is just a slap in the face. Why did I spend so many years scared of something that takes so long? I just want to get pregnant again, why is it so hard?

Brummie and DonnaDoctor I'm sorry you're struggling today. It seems people don't have a clue in what they should say or do and they end up being completely insensitive and awkward. It does feel so isolating and lonely being in this situation. But Lauren's advice is spot on - tell yourself well done, even when you've cried all day. You've got through another day, and you're one day closer to your next chance.

No one knows what the future holds for any of us, we'll be ok whatever the outcome because we're strong people who won't break. Sunbathing you're right! I get far more understanding from people on this anonymous thread than anyone in real life. 3 friends know, one has been lovely, one has been amazing and the other completely insensitive. I'm certainly re-evaluating some of my friendships now. I think friend 3 missed the memo about checking up on her friend who is having a hard time, instead she makes plans then cancels. But maybe she's having her own problems, it's hard not to attribute everyone's reactions to what has happened to me yet real life is not like that. I cannot believe how many other things come into question once miscarriages start to happen. My whole world has changed.

Stay strong ladies, we're in this together.

I've had no alcohol tonight btw, just feeling sad for everyone struggling because I'm having a hard time too.

What a day brummie, that is an awful feeling. Be kind to yourself but give the NHS a piece of your mind, you shouldn't have got that letter!!

doctor, it's not a failure - you are not a failure. It is something mostly out of your control, which is sometimes the hardest thing to take. Nature is not playing fair but that is nothing to do with your actions or effort. Please don't be too hard on yourself!

In bed on my own as DH is away with work.heard a noise in the hall way but too scared to investigate! Not normally a scaredy cat but it's safer under the covers. Luckily robbers don't look there.

Morning all - sorry people are having a hard time.

It's the complete lack of control that gets me - ultimately it all comes down to luck doesn't it? We can time dtd as much as possible but other than that we just have to hope for our bfp. Same with making the bean stick - we all just have to hope that's it's meant to be. That's what gets me - there is nothing I can do to control it.

For those in the wtf cycles - I had a 35 day cycle after natural mc then a really weird AF with spotting before and after and then mid cycle spotting. AF then turned up 27 days later (pre mc was 26-28 days) it was fairly normal so hopefully Im back on track. Now on the third cycle post mc and 'hoping' that this month we will get lucky again.

oh brummie what a tough day. and donna sorry you're struggling too.
blink it's sad when friends don't come through for you but I'm glad you have some that are being supportive.

Think my body is being cruel to me. I have all the symptoms I had when I got my BFP so have been getting myself a bit excited. But did a IC test this morning (after swearing I wasn't going to do this to myself and test early) and BFN.
I think I've put a lot of pressure on myself for this cycle as I have a big birthday coming up and our family holiday so if I'm not pregnant this time then I won't be for either of these.... and I was meant to be. (if that makes sense?)

I know what you mean MrsBee. I took a test on my dh's 30th birthday and it was like an extra present for him. 3 hours later I'd started bleeding so it turned his exciting 30th birthday into a depressed day for us. That one was my honeymoon baby too as we got married the month before. You can't time these things at all. If this bean continues to stick, I'll be pregnant for my 30th.

I'm so sorry that you're both struggling at the moment Dr and Brummie - it is so hard. There will be good and bad days. And unfortunately unless people have been through mc they have no idea how devastating it is.
I've been very lucky that bar a few insensitive comments (will share latest in a sec) most of my family and friends that know have been very supportive. The lack of control is definitely the worst thing for me now. I want to be pregnant again so badly, but the not knowing what the future holds is getting to me. I could handle it all if someone could just say in 3, 6 or even 12 months i'd be happily and healthily pregnant. Sending you a big hug. We will all get through this, we will all have a squashy little bubba in our arms eventually. And when we do it will be the best, most special little gift.

Anyway... now about my friend - who I could quite happily have slapped yesterday despite her being 38 weeks pregnant. She is due the same time mc1 should have been and was moaning and complaining at how fat and uncomfortable she was. Didn't take me long to shoot her down with 'at least you're pregnant'! Don't think she even clicked! But my other friend gave me a knowing look.

Ok, well I guess I will join in as feeling a little blue today. Home alone and weather is shit. Too much time to think. Am late for AF but who really knows when it will be due anymore. Have tested twice and nothing so am just waiting. This is first AF after WTF cycle so not sure what to expect! I have symptoms I don't normally have with AF but what's normal anymore?!

Big hugs to all. Seems were all struggling at the moment.

English my friend I'd exactly the same and she isn't any more thoughtful now she's had the baby.

Dulcet my fingers are crossed for you.

Well I'm on cd19 today of not trying. It's taking forever. Hurry up af! I want to try again.

Right, today will not be a bad day. Today will be an ok day that I will get through.

DTD this morning with DP - first time since mc a week ago and actually first time since we conceived. My first mc was the day after we'd DTD so for this pregnancy we'd completely abstained. So this morning was the first time in a long time. I needed it this morning, for the comfort and closeness factor. I didn't want to be scared of it.

Have been signed off for another week - physical symptoms have all gone, although still on antibiotics. This week is about coping emotionally

So today, going to cook a roast chicken for me and DP and finally start watching breaking bad. Crappy weather calls for a roast chicken and DVD

Big hugs to everyone else struggling. Everyone has been wonderful on this thread - both last time and this time. Going to follow Lauren's advice. Get through each day. Today is roast chicken day xx

Big hugs brummie x
Enjoy your roast chicken and I love breaking bad. Might have to watch them all again.

Glad you're having a bit more time off work x

A roast dinner sounds fab! For me today is eating left over cake and then pizza for dinner. Then from tomorrow it's no alcohol or caffeine for me at all.

Hey ladies. Thought I'd pop by to check in and see what's happening. I'm so sorry to see familiar faces still here and back again - brummie in particular as I remember you talking a lot of kindness to me when I had suffered. Lots of hugs hun x

Just read through the last few pages - yikes, you ladies love a chat - it seems there's been a fair amount of sadness and pain since I took my leave a while back. I do hope you all get your sticky beans soon, life has been so cruel to you.

allthefours, are you from leicester? Me too! Any other east midlanders here?