TTC after MC; hand holding, hugs and lots of things that can JTFO!

[Treaclepie19]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Welcome Chat - so very sorry for your losses. What horrible experiences you've had. Hope the tests come back with reassuring news. You'll get lots of support here

Waves to chat. Sorry you are here but hopefully we can support each other.

Tori - I took nearly 4 weeks to get a BFN after MC. Longer than I expected but just to warn you.

Hope you get the meds soon JB! What a pain to have it now of all times in the month too!

In a way, it was perceptive of your DH to ask jet, I think they are usually a bit oblivious to how that sort of thing might make you feel. But obviously didn't help. I think drinking their share of the wine was perfectly reasonable.

Well, I think I may have, maybe, finished the first AF post-MC. She was persistent but I am hoping she is gone so I can get to some baby making this weekend.

officelady when you had random spotting mid cycle do you know if you ovulated? I'm not sure whether I have or not as don't test and not sure when to now dtd as everything is all messed up! Based on FF app I should be now or in next day but have no signs but by pre mc cycles I would have already but have no signs!!

Think I'm going to stalk ebay for a cheap CBFM for next months cycle so I can at least regain some form of control.

I'm slightly confused my WTF cycle was pretty much a normal cycle got my af and was all geared up for trying again this month but now I'm not even sure I ovulated. Its like my WTF cycle skipped a cycle. I thought I'd maybe ovulated yesterday but now I'm not sure I did, my usual symptoms weren't as strong as they have been. Still another 9 days till we can find out either way but I'm not holding out much hope this month. How soon have other people got good signs/symptoms. The last 2 pregnancies (both mc) I basically felt bloated n tired from ovulating onwards. My first pregnancy (little girl now 3) I didn't even realise I was pregnant till I was 8 weeks, I had a period and only got tipped off when I realised my boons still hurt even after af had finished. Not got much to go off from personal history.

Boobs- I meant boobs. Keyboard is pretty unresponsive foursome reason.

Hi ladies - am new here and it's taken a bit of courage to do so.

I suffered a loss 20 weeks in and it's been 3 months since. Just started TTC last cycle and feeling daunted by how overwhelming this all feels. When we started TTC last year in Dec, I was still getting used to the idea of pregnancy and now I want it more than ever. The loss has been brutal emotionally, as it was to be our first.

I'm 33 and while I wasnt worried about this when we first started TTC, now that I've had a difficult experience I'm suddenly panicking about my age. It didnt take us too long to conceive the first time but I'm terrified it's going to be a long wait this time and suddenly really anxious about having left it till i was 33!

Any moral support really appreciated...

Just popping in to wish everyone here all the best of luck and spread a little posifrickentivity. I was here for a while about 18 months ago (miscarried dc2 after a long time trying, suspected ectopic but turned out not to be thank goodness, 6 weeks bleeding and blood tests, a totally bleak and grim experience). Anyway, I'm writing this as my 7 month old baby boy feeds to sleep in my arms, he is the most gorgeous, happy, wonderful boy and although I look back on my miscarriage with sadness, I'm so lucky that I conceived again when I did as fate brought me ds. At the time I didn't feel like I could ever be lucky again, but I was and I really hope all of you will be too. Every time I hear of someone having a miscarriage I remember this thread and the comfort and support I got from it in those difficult months. Hang in there and keep faith, sending you all the posifrickentivity in the world.

Hi gorgeous gals!
Sorry I've been awol. AF has been and gone but she left me feeling rather blue. I am now however back to positivity and ready to tackle this next cycle with full power! Currently cd6 so will start the eod mission on wednesday until positive opk and then bang a few days straight out!

Sorry to any new ladies who've joined the ranks. You're in with a good bunch here, hopefully you'll find support and help here when you need it.

Any BFP's over the weekend?

Welcome moonlight, that must have been devastating for you. Well done for having the courage to get back out there.

My first miscarriage I had virtually no symptoms with, this latest one was the sickest I've been. No rhyme or reason, my one successful pregnancy had slightly sore boobs but no sickness til nearly 8 weeks.

Foxtrot in answer to your question about mid-cycle spotting - according to my opk tests, I didn't appear to ovulate on any of the cycles where I had mid-cycle spotting. However I might have on one of them, because I did have a temperature rise, and could have just missed catching the hormone surge which gives a +ve opk (I only use internet cheapies and test once a day). In the end this turned out to be a very short cycle (only 20 days, with the "possible" ov on day 11) so it was a weird one anyway.

I totally understand the need to regain control - I've never really paid a lot of attention to my cycle previously, other than occasionally trying to work out if I was due on if I was going to be on holiday or something. I just assumed I ovulated somewhere roughly mid-cycle, and my period would turn up somewhere between 28-30 days. After the mc I felt a real need to know what the hell was going on with my body and I ordered a load of opks and a thermometer. I am calming down a bit now, have only got one opk stick left and I'm not going to order any more. I am going to carry on taking my temp though, as I do find it quite useful and it's free so why not. I guess my advice would be to try and dtd throughout your cycle, especially during the middle couple of weeks, and if you do ovulate there should be some sperm lying in wait to catch the egg!
Welcome newbies - chat how awful for you to have 2 mc so close together, especially knowing one was twins. I really do feel for you. When do you get your test results? A work colleague of mine had a molar pregnancy and she had to keep going back for tests for a long time afterwards until she thankfully got the all clear and she went on to have a healthy ds soon afterwards. I hope your results are clear and you can move forward soon.
Moonlight I can't imagine getting to 20 weeks and suffering a loss - I am sure it was absolutely devastating for you. Well done on getting back in the saddle so quickly. However I wouldn't start panicking about your age just yet, you are a spring chicken compared to some of us oldies on here. I am sure all the statistics in the world don't help, but you are very likely to go on and have a healthy pregnancy in the near future so try to focus on that if it helps, and good luck!
DIY thanks for the posifrickentivity and the update - I do love to hear the good news stories from people who have graduated from this thread - it gives us all hope! Congrats on your baby boy

Morning ladies, sorry have been quiet. It was my birthday at the weekend and do you know what, I had a bloody lovely time. DP gave me roller skates, bright blue with rainbow stripes, which was literally the best present ever, just ridiculously frivolous and fun to help me forget about the grimness of this year and TTC.

Hello chat, moonlight lauren and anyone else new I have missed. So sorry you are here but I hope you get lots of support like I do.

DIY thank you so much for dropping in with a bit of posifrickentivity. Congrats on your baby boy, he sounds gorgeous. That's how I am trying to look on it, that when I do get my baby (please please) I wont be able to imagine it any other way because he/she is the one I am meant to have. It is hard though - as you say I just can't imagine being lucky. I had a bit of a meltdown last night thinking what I would do if I MC'd again, I just don't know if I can be as brave again. Anyway! Thanks for spreading the good vibes.

Sorry af left you blue english but glad you're feeling a bit better.

Nothing to report here, CD17 and still no smiley face on my OV sticks. If my cycles are reverting to 35 days (what they were before) then I would only be gearing up to OV on CD20, so trying not to clench!! I've never used OV sticks before, I hope they dont send me over the edge

Oh ladies, I really need to vent and you are the only ones who will understand. At the end of the month I am going to Italy for a week with DP and four other old Uni friends (including my best friend and her hubby). We are staying in a villa, it sleeps six. A few weeks ago one of the guys who is coming (let’s call him ‘Matt’) phoned me and said he had been speaking to another mutual friend from Uni days (who I used to know well but haven’t spoken to in ages) who currently lives in Asia. He is in Europe this month apparently so ‘Matt’ was going to invite him to Sicily and was that okay? I said yes but the villa only sleeps six so asked where they were going to stay. He said not to worry about it, they probably won’t be able to come anyway. I thought no more of it. I found out today (from my best friend, not from Matt) that said friend IS coming, WITH his brand new wife (who I have never met), she is pregnant, and they are planning on staying in the villa too. Oh and she is due in Jan, like I would have been.

All I can think in my head is no no no no no. I don’t want them there. ‘Matt’ knows what happened to me this year too so I cant believe he didn’t mention the wife was up the duff. And I think it’s incredibly rude he has invited them to stay in this villa. The WORST thing is, my best friend has been trying to have a baby for two years with no luck. So I know she will find it hard too, but she is being all cool about it. So I am going to look like a total drama queen fruitcake if I flip out. But the fact of the matter is, I don’t want them there. What would you do?

Sorry for the long rant

Oh dear lord Monten. Is it worth re-emphasising that the villa only sleeps 6 so THERE WILL NOT BE ROOM for them? It might cause a re-evaluation on their parts. Might also be worth a chat with your TTC friend and see what she thinks too?

And can I ask for some hand-holding please- 10dpo today and spotting yesterday and today. Really not hopeful and feeling really down about it all, this cycle was my very last chance to get a BFP before my previous due date of Aug 9th

Monten You are not a drama queen, it's a totally normal reaction. I've been there so many times.
Are you sure that your ttc friend is OK with this arrangement? And where are they going to sleep now, has that been clarified? Might they possibly be able to stay somewhere else close by, rather than sleep in the same villa? Try pushing the space issue, if that's possible.
I know that this sounds brutal, but - you might just have to suck this one up. This is going to happen again and again, you will not be able to avoid pg people. And neither should you deny yourself fun things like this trip, just for fear of being around pg people. Life has to go on.
I agree that your friend Matt could have mentioned that she is pg - then again, men never think about that sort of thing, even less if they have never been in that situation.

I've just been going through some of the older posts on this thread, and I was wondering what has become of Sal1977, anyone know? She used to be a regular on the TTC after MC threads, but doesn't seem to be around anymore... Did she get her BFP?!

I've been wistfully looking at my FF chart, which shows beautiful high temps for the last few days. But they are most likely 'real' high temps, ie. a sign that my body is fighting this bladder infection and reacting to the antibiotics. Sigh. I have at least another week before I would test, so plenty of time for them to plummet...

Monten that is not unreasonable at all. I think I would emphasise the fact it sLeeds 6 and maybe have a word with the guy who invited them?

Hand holding for you greysar!!!

Hello all! Would it be ok to join this thread? I had a MMC in June at 9 weeks and I found these forums so helpful and supportive in the days afterwards. I've just had my first AF since it all happened so am hoping that I get pregnant again soon.

Hi Dulcet, lovely to see you on here and hope you're doing ok.

Thanks everyone, you are all correct as ever! I think I will just have to suck this one up, I can't ban someone for being pregnant! I think I had already decided I didnt want them to come and this is just salt in the wound. I am going to speak to him tonight and explain that I am unhappy that he didnt properly ask and explain my concerns about where everyone is going to sleep. All very rational - will see how far that gets me!!

greysar - I'm sorry about the spotting. Is it something you normally get before AF? If not could it be a good sign?

JBrd sal came back on briefly but then disappeared again. Really hoping she has her BFP! Sorry you think your temps are due to something else. Is that what happens then (I dont temp) - they rise after OV and then stay high if you are preg? That must be excruciating to watch!!

Oh and welcome sarahlou sorry you are here

Hi ladies, it's been a while.

Welcome to te newbies I hope you all have a short stay.

Sorry haven't been able to catch up on the thread, I've missed out quite a bit, I hope everyone is okay and doing well.

I g&t my results for my mc today, it was a BOY! My son... It really has hit my hard. I always thought it was a girl for some reason I was so wrong and feel a bit guilty. He has trisomy 13 - Patau syndrome. I guess whatever happened happened for the best. That condition is fatal and it could've been far worse. Nature took its course.. Feel so empty. Big part of me lost. Now I see boys everywhere!

I hope to hear more bfp's soon!

Monten- you poor thing! I'd have to say something. Not only is her being pregnant a massive kick in the teeth considering yours and your friends situation but them staying is going to make things feel a bit cramped in a house that is only meant for 6. I'd suggest they stay somewhere else locally.

Welcome Sarahlou - hope you're not with us too long. Sorry for your loss, your in with a good bunch here though .

Sorry for your news Hope*, sending you big hugs.

Grey - hope your spotting is not the onset of af's arrival. Will keep everything crossed for you.

Thanks english. I feel a bit now! I can't exactly ban her for being pregnant. Anyway I spoke to him and there is nowhere else to stay nearby apparently, he is giving them his room, they have already booked their flights. So I will just have to suck it up. My ttc friend feels exactly the same so at least we can feel it together.

Oh hope I hope you're okay. That's really tough. When I was waiting for my cvs results, Patau and Edwards were the two I knew I would terminate for. They are hateful conditions and your baby would not have lived for longer than a few days, if he survived the pregnancy, which is also very unlikely. This way he never had to suffer or feel pain. My baby was also a boy and I was convinced he was a girl. Like you I felt guilty for getting it wrong. I had to make the decision to terminate but it really wasn't a decision, as far as I was concerned there was no choice in the matter.

I'm waiting on my karyotype results from the mc and dreading them. Can I ask how long yours took?