TTC after MC. The ups, the downs, the never ending Toad in the Hole and the relentless onslaught from the Facebook faceslaps!

[Sal1977]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Thanks Hope can you throw one of those prayers my way? I don't know what's wrong with me - I'm an emotional wreck at the moment! Even picking up horse poo hasn't sorted my head out!

Lovely to see some bfps!!! Congratulations ladies xx

Boozle of course I will. I really think prayer has the answers and asking God for a baby and asking for forgiveness has really helped me. I think I was put in this situation to help me grow more wise and I took a lot of blessings for granted. This time I'm a lot more sensible and grateful for everything God has provided me. Even if this doesn't work out, God always has better plans for us.

Today has been a good day, my DH got a new job.. After the hardship there is ease

Congratulations brummie & Hope fantastic news xx

Sorry to hear you're struggling boozle

Tomorrow is a new day x

Thank you so much all.

I guess with me the only thing that kept me sane was talking to other people and not hiding my mc away. I was open and honest with people and as a result people were saying "I'm so sorry, but look before I had x or y I had one too"

One colleague even had 3 mc's before her little one.

But they all said " you can get pregnant and you WILL get pregnant again"

I just kept chanting those words to keep myself positive, plus used preseed and Clearblue opk.

But the pressure on DP was awful - he hasn't orgasmed probably since the time we conceived. The pressure has really got to him and I was really starting to worry.

But I'm bricking it - everytime I go to the loo I expect to see blood. I guess if i do see blood I need to remind myself it's not always bad.

I'm v aware I'm v lucky to get a BFP so quickly and I wish for you all to get BFP's very very soon.

Oh and Treacle yes my first AF post mc was quite painful and v heavy

These bfp's are proof there is hope for us all. I know I am bfn for this cycle but I truly pray for each of us to get pregnant soon and have healthy babies xxx

brummie hope can I just say the way you are encouraging us to stay positive and reminding us you feel lucky us completely inspiring. I feel like two lovely people are leaving the gang and I am hoping everything goes to plan! It's been a pleasure virtually acquainting you both and in the nicest way although it would be great of you to check in, I hope you are only here with reminders of good news in the future xx

So pleased for you brummie I hope you find the strength to enjoy your pregnancy like you deserve to.

I read something that really resonated with me on another thread just now:

'Let's not lie, it's the lowest you're ever likely to feel, especially as it's so fresh. It is so normal and okay for you to feel this way, I felt miserable but (not sure if it will work for you) I focussed on the fact that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends badly, but because of you 3 babies made it. They'll never know it but YOU DID THAT, next time it will be your time.'

lou has the witch arrived or do you have a feeling?

Thank you Lou that is so sweet of you to say. Honestly I'm sure even if we all get bfp's we will always have that fear of it happening again. It does suck the excitement out of pregnancy so girls even though you get your bfp there is a long road ahead but we all need to stick together and support each other. Don't give up and keep going, I do think after mc you are very fertile.. Make the most of this opportunity.

I do feel sorry for our hubby's, they have pressure to perform but it's all worth it in the end if you get blessed with a child.. Have to keep reminding them!

It's been a long day, striking!!! I'm off to bed xxx

Those who told friends and family about miscarriage, had you told them you were pregnant?

We only told my sister I was pregnant so I have only told my sister about the miscarriage.

I'm finding all this harder to deal with than i imagined. The miscarriage itself I have dealt with, but I find my anxiety has worsened. I worry that now the age gap between children will be too large and they won't bond. I worry I may never be able to have another child. I worry something is going to happen to my darling daughter.
I know I am so lucky to already have a child but I am so scared i won't have another healthy pregnancy.

Mrs I had told a few people about the pregnancy however I have been very open about the miscarriage and told most people. I feel I went through a stage where I had nothing else to talk about and I think I may have put others in uncomfortable situations by just blurting it out. To be honest I think it helped as I needed others to know what I was going through. As Brummie said the number of people I then found out who had a miscarriage was amazing and all of then had gone on to have successful pregnancies. I think it's good to be open but everyone deals with things differently x

Morning ladies - first of all can I say massive congratulations to the BFPs - well done Hope and Brummie, you are showing us the way and keeping the positivity flowing!
To whoever asked whether af was more painful after a mc (sorry can't scroll back on here) - yes and OWCH! I have woken up in the middle of the night with really painful cramps on all of my af after my mc. And the cramps are different to before as well, I used to just get occasional dull pains in my back but these are sharp pains and more towards the front/middle of my abdomen. I just mainline nurofen and wine to get through it.
I am having a really WTF cycle again. I'm on cd19 and have got some pink spotting and since I got up I have had a few very mild crampy feelings. Also I had a tiny amount of light brown spotting on CD13. Just no idea what the hell is going on this month but I stupidly POAS and it was negative which I knew it would be.
Gah. I hate my stupid body at the moment. And back to work today after being on strike yesterday - just checked my work e-mails and there is a tirade of abuse from a parent for daring to go on strike. Not directed at me personally but I have taken it personally Felt like e-mailing back "fuck off, and when you get there, fuck off a bit more" but I do still actually need my job so I sat on my hands.
Hope you all have a better start to Friday!

Lovely message lou and oneday I somehow had something in my eye when I read it.

DH woke me up in the middle of night and I didn't go back to sleep for 2 hours! Not like me tbh.

I'm pretty sure I'm bfn this cycle due on Monday apparently but my cycles are dodgy so who knows!
Bfn this morning!

Morning all. one day AF arrived this morning. CD 27 which means it was a 26 day cycle for me and according to cbfm I ovulated on cd 17. Not convinced I ovulated. Feeling calm at the moment and just looking forward and praying for this cycle to be a good one!
I will probs POAS in a few days if period is light as when I was preggas I thought it was a period and turned out it I was preggas and didn't know!

mrsbee, we had told the inlaws and I had told three fiends and two gym
instructors so they had to all be told it had gone wrong. I've since told two people at work about the MC due to needing time off for the hospital. I can see the value in telling people, it might be awkward for them but can be quite therapeutic for you to just say it and acknowledge it.

Two weeks today. Should be having my 12 week scan at 0950 today. Going to try not to think about it. I have my first acupuncture session today - recommended by my fertility clinic. Has anyone tried it?

Calmness lasted all of five seconds. Now totally emotional sitting at my desk. No doubt I will burst into tears when the preggas one whose bump practically touches my arm arrives in her fabulous outfit!!!!!

dulcet my friend had it. Didn't help her conceive naturally as she had IVF but she defo think it helped her relax which I turn helped the IVF x

officelady how mean. I am in full support of the strikes. Not a teacher myself but work in the Health service so definitely sympathise. Another one for the JTFO list?

Mrs we had told parents and work we were pregnant but when we mc! we ended up telling a whole lot more people. I'm so glad we did as the support we've had has been brilliant and it prevented any insensitive comments. Although when DH was on a stag weekend last weekend he had a few comments/teasing about when we were going to have kids etc etc and he did tell them what had happened afterwards. Mrs try to stay positive, anxiety is a horrible horrible disabling emotion. Is there anyone you can talk to?

Hoping for good news for you marmalade

I'm sorry lou that the witch has arrived (if she has and if it's not some spotting - fx for you!) If it is AF, pour yourself a big glass of wine and maybe do something fun this weekend? I can't remember who it was now but someone said about planning something fun to do if AF arrived, like a meal out and drinks with the other half?

Aaah don't worry ladies will defo be checking in, only because I want to see some more BFP's!!!

Thank you for your lovely kind words as well - there is no lie I am bricking it!!! But trying to keep calm.

Those that asked about talking to people about the mc - yes I had told people I was pregnant. Not masses but really close people so of course when the cm happened these people were wonderful.

I am desperate to tell my parents but DP wants me to wait because of what happened last time - I'll see how I feel.

But I definitely didn't shy away from telling people either about the first pregnancy or the miscarriage.

In fact, the only reason they say you shouldn't tell people is due to what if you do have an mc. But my feeling is , if these people will support you during an mc and you want to tell them then tell them.

Thank you so much ladies though for all your support and being on this dark and sad journey with me. The support on here has been just incredible and when I've been distressed or angry it's swearing like a trooper then you've all been here and I absolutely cannot thank you enough.

I hope the only time I come on to this thread again is to check in and see how you all are and if they are any more BFP's.

But I'm only 3+2 so little little steps

here's to POAS Friday (even though I cheated and did it on a Wednesday !)

Congratulations Girls

one day I managed three massive wines as I knew she was here! It's a long shot that I'm preggas but just in case I will test in a few days as a really regret not testing last time. Tonight I am all about tea, chocolate, cuddles, corrie and sofa!!!!
At least I can drink in France next week!!!

Er, last night I had wines. Not this morning!!!

Ha ha lou I did think that but then thought well it's understandable! And your Friday night sounds perfect.

Ha ha lou that made laugh! Glad you haven't got to the drink with breakfast stage! Sorry AF got you

Congrats hope & brummie great news x