TTC after MC. The ups, the downs, the never ending Toad in the Hole and the relentless onslaught from the Facebook faceslaps!

[Sal1977]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Booo to AF lou but agree your Friday night sounds great! Get eastenders and pizza in there and ill be round!

Why do you think people don't talk about MC? Me and my friend were talking about this, it's like a big secret but I don't know why. Not that i'm any better - I've not told many people - but not sure why.

In honour of POAS Friday I have done another pg test - still positive. Getting fainter though so that's something.

Dulcet it's something I've noticed too. It's only when you do that you realise how many people have experienced it. I think the aftercare is completely crap too. There's no follow up physically, but more importantly there's no follow up mentally. I work in the health service and we wouldn't dream of not following up our patients/just leaving them to it so I don't understand why it's different for miscarriage.

Hi can I join you?

I've had two miscarriages, the last one being last week so still very raw.

I want to continue to try but DH thinks we should wait a while but age isn't on our side. We'll see though!

I've told more people about the mc than I told I was pregnant, although nobody at work knows about either which was difficult. I think it is much harder to tell people you are pregnant and then have to break the news of a miscarriage than it is to just tell them of the miscarriage. Mine were both at 8 weeks and we had told a few people as an early scan had shown the heartbeat.

What's the best way to handle a reluctant DH - he is worried about going through another mc?

Welcome salty, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. You will get lots of virtual support from this group, so feel free to rant and sob away - we're all here for you x

So ladies. Here's a question from a neurotic me for you... Although I'm sure I have already OVd last week, there's a few symptoms I've had the last few days that made me wonder if I actually have (swollen and sensitive boobs, slimy cm when wiping, a bit of a bloaty feeling at night, crushing chest pain and I swear I felt a bit sick last night) or if it's just a weird after MC/pre AF new thing that's happening now.

Having a slight addiction, lots of IC OPKs to use and it being Friday, I POAS. There's a definite but pale line there.

Do you think this is: a) I might be coming up to OV and I was wrong last weekend b) it's a faulty IC or c) I could actually be pg from just dtd once this month?!

I'm on CD20. Chuff knows how long I'd wait to get AF because I've only had one proper AF since the mc but normally I was a classic 28 day cycler. I'm a bit hesitant to buy a pg test this early because of the chance of a false positive/chemical but....

Broody how many dpo would you be?

For me slimy cm after ov has only meant bad news unfortunately although I know some people talk about it coming alongside implantation. The month I had that weird two cycle chemical I got a mass of bloody EWCM on 10/11 dpo, then got my period 13 dpo and tested positive on an hpt after my period. This cycle I had some slimy cm on about cd 21 which I thought could mean implantation but then got it again a day before AF arrived.

I would say keep testing and if the line gets darker it sounds promising xx

Oh lou sorry AF got you :(
You are more than allowed to be emotional.

I have the rage!
Must be AF coming?
I am properly irrationally angry and teary at the same time :(

Welcome salty, sorry to hear you have been through this again. I don't really have any experience of a reluctant DH but I can understand him being worried about it happening again. You have to both be ready, I I expect its very frustrating for you if you want to get straight back to it. Is he the sort to maybe go for some counseling? That could help.

What an intrigue broody! I think you'll have to do another one later or tomorrow to see if its getting darker. Although that could mean ov or pg!

Booo to the rage marmalade, will it help to scream in here?!

Back from my acupuncture... it was pretty good I think. She knew her stuff and had this massive wall of cards and thank yous and baby photos of people she has helped conceive. Hoping I can join the wall soon. She did keep saying to not try again for a few months but we have already started. Kept that bit to myself...

dulcet I can just imagine "yep, I won't try for a few months" comes out of mouth "AS IF!!!!" Screams in head!!!
Well AF or no AF that is the question. It's something I between which is pissing me right off. Just be a bloody period or be preggas but this I between confusing stuff.....grrrrrr

That's exactly what happened lou! haha. How long until you are due AF or are you overdue already?

You know I really don't care about TTC this month, I could quite happily not have sex at all. My partner is being all amorous and I just feel dead inside

dulcet due tomorrow but weird pink cm at the moment which was the same as I had in feb which I thought was a period so didn't do a hpt but turns out I was preggas and didn't realise. If I don't get a proper period I will do a hpt next week. 11dpo today so was expecting AF to be in a few days.

The confusion has turned me to wine again!!!

sebsmummy I understand not wanting to do it. I don't think of ttc sex as the same I do normal. Talk to partner about it, best to get it out, and what you are feeling is normal xx

Hello ladies

Can I join you? I've been lurking the past week or so but thought Id jump in feet first. I'm 2 weeks after finding is had a MMC and 9 days after MC. The whole situation has been horrible and heartbreaking I have to say.

My pregnancy was a very happy surprise but has made us realise that it is what we wanted to DH and I have agreed to try again, but not actually try but not be careful either - in the hope that there's no pressure - but me being me means that I will put the pressure on!!

So, in accordance with the rules I POAS today which came out negative. It prompted tears with the realisation that it is all over. We have been advised to wait for my next period, but as I have PCOS I have no idea when that will be, I can go from 28 days to 4 months. Should we wait or just go for it and DTD as much as poss in the hope that we get a BFP ASAP? Age is not on my side (I'm 40) either. In the other hand getting pg again scares me.

Also to say congrats to those that have had BFP recently, it does demonstrate there is hope for is all.

all the fours welcome and sorry for your loss.
You are in lovely company. I can tell you now, most of us tried before our first AF and most of us didn't get preggas. On this forum we always advise a negative hpt before trying but clearly we are not medical professionals!!!
That said we know our bodies so do what you feel right.
I didn't mc - I tfmr and was told to wait 2 x cycles before trying. I thought that was bull shit so got on it but I am on 2 x cycle and not preggas so maybe she had a point and knew something I didn't!!!

Can I just say, I'm getting super fucked off with not getting pregnant! Doing. My. Tree. In! Why does the monthly cycle take a month? Why can't we have it weekly, a day of AF and back to it! I mean, seriously?! Another whole month! Slap me with a haddock - I need to go and hug a tree or de-poo horses fields until I get my positivity back! Sigh - rant over! Tell me happy things, what's everyone up to this weekend?

Allthefours I'm so sorry, I just read your post, sorry that you are here but you're very welcome - I promise my previous ranting post is not the norm! These lot keep me sane - just one of those weeks I think!
It's crap when you get your first negative isn't it? That said, it's also the start of being able to try again, I had to ttc as soon as poss just to help me look forward and feel like I was taking some form of control but everyone's different. Sending you big hugs

Hi allthefours Welcome but sorry you find yourself here. I'm just under 3 weeks post ERPC for MMC and have dtd a few times this week (unprotected) No idea when I ovulated or if I have so not expecting to get pregnant before AF (though of course I'm secretly hoping I will) and just hoping she gets a bloody move on and gets here soon so we can crack on and use my new cbfm (thanks boozle!)

I hope you find as much comfort and confirmation that you're not going loopy from this thread as I have!

Definitely agree boozle I'd rather have a period for one day every week! The 2ww is a killer. Sending lots of positivity to you (and wine and chocolate too)

boozle that might be my favorite post yet! I know you didn't mean it in a positive way but it made me laugh as I was thinking the same, a month is really long sometimes! I think weekly with fertile Wednesdays would be ideal....

Trying to keep busy and stop being grumpy so sailing and windsurfing for me this weekend-salt water and exhaustion ease grumps I find!

Welcome allthefours and salty sorry to see you're here but glad you found us

Fertile Wednesday's works for me. Who do we need to contact to arrange this boozle bythesea? I think we're on to something here ...

Weekly sounds like a good idea now with TTC boozle but not so convenient when I wasn't. Can we maybe have it optional so weekly when TTC and monthly when not? Whilst we are making that change, can we implement the change that will make wee change colour when pg? Saves testing and wondering.

Oh boozle I agree!

Been out for a meal with friends I used to work with. 2 people from there are pregnant. One due december (was my due month).

Feel like absolute shit. I just feel lost.

Gah, come back positivity!

I vote for fertility Wednesday!
And non monthly cycles.
boozle I am fucked off with not being pregnant too! Refreshing to see someone else write that!

lou the pink cm has happened to me too in my successful pregnancy. Crossing everything for you.

Weirdly my spd has c

...I've started so I'll finish!

My spd weirdly came back this morning only my right side but I'm now hobbling about like an idiot.
I suspect I've over done it and I am not POAS not today.
I had one G&T last night all be it a large one but I felt hungover when I woke up. Most unlike me.
not symptom spotting. Not me!

I love the idea of pregnant coloured wee! OK, so new rules for the thread. We all have to ov every Wednesday and have AF on a Friday. That was POAS day can still be the Friday to avoid confusion and our wee must change colour to show we're preggers. If everyone's happy I'll have a quick chat with evolution and explain we could do with changing things a bit :)