TTC after MC. The ups, the downs, the never ending Toad in the Hole and the relentless onslaught from the Facebook faceslaps!

[Sal1977]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Woohoo river!! Congrats to you!!

treacle, I had thrush as a side effect of antibiotics following my mva. Mega ouchies! Canesten will sort you out hun xx

I've not had it before so just assumed the burning was a uti starting out. Anyway, got my cream. Does it work quickly?
I'm guessing this means no more dtd :/ why at ovulation time???

Congratulations River! That's wonderful! I'd call the Drs asap and get this pregnancy on the system. Then try to relax.

Oh Treacle, poor you! I've only had thrush once! Awful!!

I'm supposedly 2dpo and had a load of ewcm!! Now thinking maybe my body geared up for ov and didn't actually do it and is now trying again! . Gonna go poa opk. And pounce dh later just in case

Is it too late to join this thread? I had a MC 2nd June, one short period (passed the remaining few clots etc) and now I'm due AF this Sunday. Trying for our first. Shunt me off the thread (or ignore me!) if I'm too late to join in!

Morning/afternoon all,

How are you doing hope and boozle?

Oh treacle poor you. As frustrating as it is, definitely avoid dtd for now, the last thing you want to do is make it worse.

Just a quick message as I haven't read back properly. Hope we're all doing okay. A Dr at work today was trying to make me feel better after we were talking about MC but came out with 'You might even have another 5 miscarriages in a row before a healthy pregnancy/baby but it's just one of those things'. That's great. Thanks very much. Definitely one for the JTFO list! Grrr!

Fucking hell Oneday, what an absolute knob!! I'd have said something! Comments like that are far from helpful!!! TWAT!!!

Of course it's not too late to join Glitter!! Welcome to our motley crew! So sorry for your loss. Fx you won't have to stay with us too long, but if you do, the ladies here are a wealth of knowledge and support. Good luck!

Thanks for the congratulations everyone. I've called the Drs and asked them to make a note, going to give it a couple of days then speak to the midwife, I think.

Oneday - I had that from the anaesthetist when I was waiting for my ERPC. This was preceded by 'how far along are you'. Er, I'm not, daft cow that's why I'm in the f*ing hospital! I managed to stay polite, but did consider putting in a complaint against her.

Welcome Glitter, this is an ongoing thread, so never too late to join. Sad you're joining us, but the ladies here are all very supportive

Thank you ladies. I have got a cream and pessary.
Hopefully will do the trick. I'm so uncomfortable :/ as it's making it difficult to wee I just thought uti.

Anyway, oneday that is definitely a JTFO!!!
What an idiot.

Welcome Mrsglitter :)

Welcome mrsglitter anyone welcome, we take all sorts here . Sorry you find us here though and good luck for af this weekend, lets hope your stay is brief!

Congrats river that’s amazing news.

Sorry to hear that treacle - that really is just what you need isnt it . I swear I haven’t felt truly well or on top form since the mc, it’s just not what you need on top of everything else. Take care of yourself.

oneday he really can JTFO. And FTFO. I feel like I have come to terms with the miscarriage, it wasn’t meant to be. What causes me distress is thinking it might happen again. So comments like that are not helpful.

Ladies – I have been thinking about this TTC business and I have found a way of thinking about it that makes it less painful for me. Each month I don’t get pregnant I get really angsty, thinking I have ‘missed’ the egg and somehow my body isnt working right. But I’ve decided to try and think of it like this: we are born with thousands of eggs, more than we will ever need. And for good reason, they aren’t all going to be perfect eggs. Miscarriage is more common even than we think it is, with fertilised eggs just failing to implant because something is wrong with them, so the body just rejects them. Sadly, that doesn’t always happen and it gets realised much later, which is what then ends up in what we know and experience as a miscarriage. So rather than thinking of not getting pregnant as my body NOT working, I have decided to try and think of it as my body working just fine. Doesn’t help much with my fear about my dodgy eggs, but there we go. We’ll see how long this new approach lasts! I thought I would share in case helpful to others, apologies if it upsets anyone.

Thank you monten, it really is the last thing I needed :(

Still, there is a small chance we could be lucky this month.

That's a good way of thinking, I know what you mean about worrying it will happen again. My doctor said if I have 3 miscarriages she will look into it but before then it's quite common. I'm thinking that's easy for you to say! You don't have to go through it!

monten, I reckon that's a great way of tackling it. And furthermore, just should ask you to do a guest blog piece for her, so you can spread that positivity for her followers!

treacle, the pessary worked very well for me too, way more so than the cream alone. You just need to make sure you insert it at bedtime so it can work its magic while you sleep. Don't be surprised if you get chalky pants either (it's just the residue), or if it falls out half way through the following day or so - it will have worked, I promise, so don't bother trying to shove it back in again. Absolutely crap timing though, reckon it's a JTFO for thrush!

Welcome glitter, so sorry for your loss Please make yourself comfy but I hope your stay here will be short and sweet x

Thanks broody. Does anyone know if the pessary is safe to be inserted with the applicator during the two week wait?
It says not to online :/

Hi Glitter sorry for your loss, everyone here is lovely and offers invaluable support x

treacle I suffer with thrush, the pessary and cream work really well, it usually clears up in a couple of days.

monten thats a great way of thinking about it.

river congratulations x

Having spent the last 5 days trying to ignore the fact im pregnant ive finally made a doctors appointment for next tuesday, I wanted to see a particular dr and thats the soonest I can get an appointment with her. By my calculations im 5+2 weeks, im not sure what to do with regards to a reassurance scan, id had 2 early scans last time due to some spotting and all was fine, I just keep thinking I saw my babies heartbeat but she still died.

im not sure how reassuring im going to find a scan, especially having to go back to the room we were told id had a mmc, they only have 1 room/scanner in the epac unit.

Welcome glitter, sorry for your loss and I hope you have a short stay! All the ladies here are very supportive!

Trea - I hope your thrush goes away soon, it must be so frustrating around ov time.. But take the advice and avoid dtd on case It gets passed on.

Monten your body is fine and it's just waiting for the perfect egg! really hope you get your bfp soon.

Oneday I am feeling a lot calm and better than last night. the pink discharge just scared me but I had none this morning. Thanks for asking x

Smiling you are probably the same amount of weeks as me. That room, I know what you're talking about, gives you nightmares. I dunno if an early scan is reassuring, I think it's stressed me out even more to be honest. The sonographher a reports always freak me out. It's hard but it depends on you. If you are scared and want to keep an eye every step of the way then get an early scan. If not, just wait, whatever will happen will happen anyway and I hope you have an uneventful pregnancy.

I feel there's a plot of pressure to have a normal pregnancy after mc.. I'm feeling it and I don't like it.

Thats sort of how I feel hope whatever is supposed to happen will happen regardless of the scan, I know this from bitter experience

Glad your spotting seems to have stopped hope.

treacle sorry you're poorly, hope the drugs will help.

I've got really bad backache today and felt a bit nauseous this morning. There goes my determination not to symptom spot again... even though I know it's still far too early at 6dpo. (Could be implantation though right?! Someone slap me with a tuna)

My dh was talking about early scans the other day, smiling and he's basically said the same as you - all v well seeing it at 6/8/10 weeks but you can still get to the 12 week scan and find out baby has died. I would like to think I'd be reassured by a heartbeat before 12 weeks but I don't think it would now, especially after hearing such sad stories from ladies on here. Annoyingly Because he's quite right my dh said, I'd only be happy with a daily scan and a mw permanently by my side!

broody I second that! I am one of the ones that tfmr at 16wks. I can't imagine I'll ever feel settled when I am preggas again. Maybe after 20wk scan perhaps a tad but I guess no matter when we lost our babies, the anxiety won't stop at anytime.
I am thinking about what I can do to help myself next time. monten I agree with trying to think of our bodies functioning normally. Also next pregnancy is a new pregnancy is going to really hard to think of them as separate.

Monten, that is a very posifrickintive way of looking at it!! Long may the positivity continue!

RE early scans - I'm of the same way of thinking. What will be, will be etc. BUT I think if something does go wrong i'd rather get it dealt with sooner rather than later iykwim. Tough call. I think right now as I type this not pregnant I'd wait and see and only request a scan if something worries me. But who knows how i'll feel when i do fall again.

Monten, that's a very positive way to look at it- I'm going to try to take it on board, whilst hoping that the next one is a good one!

Glitter, welcome. Sorry to have you on board too!

River, very exciting!!

Sorry to jump in ladies.
I can't insert the pessary due to my vaginismus.
I know I can't have the tablet due to being in the 2ww but think I'll have to get the intervanginal cream.
DH did some research that says this is ok, does anyone know?

I don't know for certain I'm afraid Treacle. I do know that they are (of course) extremely cautious with medication and pregnancy, however if a drug says 'avoid' or 'consult your doctor' it doesn't necessarily mean it would be harmful, just that it has not been proven to be completely safe (which is extremely expensive to do). I can't imagine why there would be a problem but I'm not a trained pharmacist or doctor. Sorry x

Thank you Monten, i have some now. The pharmacy lady agreed I couldn't have the tablet but let me have the cream. What a nightmare.