TTC after MC. The ups, the downs, the never ending Toad in the Hole and the relentless onslaught from the Facebook faceslaps!

[Sal1977]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Weirdly enough though, I ended up telling myself the old 'at least you can get pregnant' line, as if it makes anything better. I find I say it more for other people more than myself - helps end the conversation easier.

FX for you tanny, so far so good and you are doing everything you can!

Good luck with the baby showers english, that's not an easy one to tackle. Keep strong!

We DTD for the first time since last night. It wasn't very comfortable but i'm not sure why really. Poor DH apologised afterwards as he thought he hurt me. It didn't hurt, just felt a bit odd. Today I feel a bit down too which I think is connected. We are TTC again straight away and yesterday being the first time - it's another step to admitting it is all over and we have to start again. Stupid body.

Morning all!

boozle the tent and torch incident made me chuckle!

hope is it possible that stress can delay AF, I've not heard that before. But fingers crossed that's not the case for you and it's great news!

dulcet I too am desperate to ttc again! At least I'll feel like we're actually doing something rather than just waiting for AF. My pg tests are definitely negative now. Did you also test for a -ve before dtd? I was hoping we would dtd yesterday for the first time but I chickened out even mentioning it it DH as I had a teeny bit more bleeding.

And english good luck with the baby showers. Blimey, what rotten timing.

I hope so broody :)

Right, off to the christening. See you later!

I haven't done any pg tests oneday. Probably not wise? I don't have any! Will order lots of cheapies now! I did try an ov stick in the week and that was strong positive but probably pg hormones rather than ov. What a mess!

dulcet my ov sticks have been positive for the last few days too. Could be ov but I think they detect two different hormones whereas pg tests just detect hcg (I think)

The ladies on here pointed out that it would be a good idea to get a -ve before dtd just to avoid any confusion once we start ttc again but I wouldn't worry too much as blood tests will detect a pg if you have caught this month. Also any pg tests should get darker.

I'm really nervous about dtd incase it's uncomfortable!

Morning Ladies. I'm just getting ready for my cake based fundraiser for Tommy's, the baby charity, which my DH and I are hosting this afternoon. There will be several bumps and babies, so I'm bracing myself. This (or near enough, date wise) should have been our first's 2nd birthday party, so feeling slightly emotional about that. We're doing face painting and decorating. It may actually put us off having kids altogether...!

Hope, it is possible that perhaps you're not ovulating at the same point as before mc. Mc royally screws with AF. I didn't ovulate properly after my first mc, roughly every other month. Some ladies don't ovulate at all for a couple. Try not to stress though, it won't help.

Poas this morning... My line is getting fainter! I think by Wednesday is could have gone completely, that'll be two weeks since erpc! Going to try to DTD tonight...

Good luck today treacle. XX

Thanks English :) it was ok. I found it hard and there were lots of babies and bumps but it's over now.

Either I'm pregnant or ill. Feeling sick again. Petty much always unless I'm eating - just like with my bfp - and sooo tired. Got up at half 7 but felt so tired I couldn't move out of bed. Just had a nap and am still tired.
I remember this feeling from being pregnant, the tiredness that is like being drunk.

I hope it's not just a cruel trick.

Only just catching up as ive had a busy couple of days.

im sooooo tired and I cant stop going to the toilet, I still have that feeling that im pregnant but af isnt due till the 14th so im probably just imagining symptoms

It was my godsons 2nd birthday today so dp and I have spent the afternoon in an indoor play centre surrounded by children, toddlers, babies and bumps, im exhausted and my face hurts from that pretend smile you do when your pretending everythings fine.

Oh treacle I really hope it's not a cruel trick and the tiredness etc is a good sign. I hope the christening was ok too.

grittedteeth I know exactly what you mean withy the face ache! It's exhausting pretending everything is fine isn't it? Well done for getting through it though

Good luck tonight english! DH is back from a stag weekend tomorrow so providing this bloody bleeding (no pun intended) stops mucking me around I will be dtd. Gah! So nervous.

Oh smiling, i know how you feel. Sending hugs.

Just had to leave a bbq because two friends turned up with their baby. The group separated and all the girls I was taking to went over. I couldn't do it.
Come home in tears.
DH can't understand why I feel like this and I can't explain it either.

Oh treacle big hugs from me

I had to leave a shop today because the lady in the queue behind me had a gorgeous newborn baby girl in her arms, I threw the shopping at dp and ran out the shop, he didnt understand and all I could get out was "she has a baby".

my counsellor tells me to write either a letter, text or email to him, its so much easier to not have to say the words to speak and I find even if I cant think of what to say it flows in written words, also I dont have to be near him to see his reaction so I dont feel as pressured to get it right iyswim.

Ive decided dp is playing catch up in his grief, he was so busy taking care of me at first that he didn't really start grieving for weeks after, now that im calmer and finding my way back to life he seems to be letting go of his feelings, ive found him talking to the rose alot and hes been having bad dreams, he reminds me of where I was about a month ago. I wish he would see a counsellor but he wont.

Thanks smiling.

I completely understand what you mean.
It's not like that for DH though. He hadn't really accepted I was pregnant. He's tols me he doesn't understand because it wasn't real for him and he was upset the first few days but doesn't really feel the same loss as me.
I'm finding that hard to cope with to be honest. Like he never cared.

I feel like a failure when I see him cooing over babies and bumps. Gah.

Oh thats hard treacle, dp was very excited to be a dad again and once we hit that magic 12 week mark we allowed ourselves to imagine life with a baby. We were both devestated but dp thought he was helping me by staying strong only like you I felt like he didnt care especially since on the day of my erpc dsd had her braces removed and he spent the day texting her.

with time and talking about it I now know he was distracting himself but at the time it felt like he didnt care because he has children so ours was somehow less important. A mc alters your perception of things.

I think it really hadn't hit hI'm yet. We have no children and also we were at the episode for scans every two weeks so it wasn't going smoothly.

I'm glad you are able to talk to him and understand km each other now :)

Earlier "symptoms" are going so guessing it was just illness not pregnancy. Will see on Tuesday I guess.

Had a complete melt down last night.
Proper crying, proper shouting. Just let it all out.
I think I feel better for it.
We had to leave the event we were at early because I just couldn't cope and then in the carpark (secluded thankfully) had it all out.
I don't even know why I'm typing this!

Oh Treacle, I really feel for you. Have you considered maybe talking to a bereavement counsellor, just so you can get it all out. I know some ladies on here have and have found it very helpful. Hope your symptoms are just that and not a cruel joke, but try not to feel to awful if not. Your body has been through a lot.

Managed to DTD last night no pain, not to scary and was nice being able to reconnect with DH physically. He's been amazingly patient.

Baby shower day today

Glad your meltdown had left you feeling better Marmalade, sometimes it really is needed. A good cry, scream, rant can really release a lot of unwanted pent up emotion.

Morning marmalade

it took my counsellor telling me it was ok to say what I was thinking for me to finally stop biting my tongue and let it all out, some of the things I was thinking and said to dp were horrible and im ashamed of myself for thinking them, but getting it all out helped me let go of the anger I was feeling. I cried myself to sleep afterwards and then woke up feeling emotionally lighter.

treacle I think what made it so real to dp was that we had seen her heartbeat, it was so strong and it seems impossible that it just stopped beating. He is always saying that its harder for me but its frustrating that everyone seems to forget that he lost our baby too.

Thanks everyone. I think I may try and see a counsellor.

marmalade sometimes that's just what you need!

English, glad you managed to dtd :) it's a big step in the right direction.

I still feel low today, and incredibly sick again.
I hope I havent got a bug or anything :(

Thanks you lovely lot, very grateful you put up with me!

Poor you treacle hope you are doing ok, a counsellor could really help.

I get what you mean about DP being forgotten smiling
I also nodded when you said emotionally lighter. I do feel lighter. Though DH now has a large amount of mascara on his white shirt!

Glad you dtd english I felt like another hurdle had been jumped over for me. Next steps and what not.

Glad you enjoyed getting back to it english, big first step. Was that for fun or the start of TTC?

Hope you haven't got a bug either treacle, and the sickness is for the right reasons. We will be here with fingers crossed for you!

Sorry your night out ended in a cryfest marmalade but sometimes it really does help. I think I need to get to a big hill and just scream where noone can hear me, just to get it out!

I defo am unsure how DH has dealt with it all. He says he is sad, and I absolutely believe that, but he isn't always outwardly emotional and he has focused on looking after me. I hope he's ok.

Pg tests ordered. Will do one when they get here to see if I'm in the clear yet... I was just planning on ploughing through. Thought a positive in 4 weeks must be a new one but I don't really know. Wanted it badly before but it's worse now... Must stay calm!

Thanks everyone x

Af will be here tomorrow or Tuesday anyway so we will see.