TTC after MC. The ups, the downs, the never ending Toad in the Hole and the relentless onslaught from the Facebook faceslaps!

[Sal1977]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

That worked for me - didn't even dtd, just sprinkled it on my Weetabix and bingo, instant bfp
I use conceive plus which worked for us. It's very watery though, which isn't ideal as I am guessing you all refuse to go to loo after, stick legs in the air and spend one hour like this post dance.

How did you know I do that lou?
Is there much difference between the two?

I am not sure if there is a difference - I just ordered it when I ordered my cbfm as it suggested it and thought why not. I think pre seed is more popular but the name made me queasy. Conceive plus does have a baby on the box though. Very sexy for mood enhancing.....not!

Ladies, thoughts.... In the 2ww, who drinks alcohol. I'm talking a few glasses of wine with dinner. I have been really strict in the past but really pondering if one or two glasses or a shandy can harm? So scared to do anything that I feel I am not me. Just sitting waiting to get preggas.

I feel the same lou, have Ben drinking a bit though as I decided laSt time it all went wrong even though I did everything right.
Thinking of having a glass or two of wine later. Even at 7/8 dpo. Is that bad...

Lou I don't worry about alcohol in the 2 ww and have a few if I fancy it. The baby initially develops hormonally and its several weeks before the placenta kicks in so I like to think I wouldn't be passing anything on even if I was fortunate enough to be up duff! I could be wrong but with both my successful and unsuccessful pregnancies I drank up until the bfp and I think having a bit of normality was good for me and poss lessened the stress of TTC.

That is so reassuring. I want to just relax and live normal and not feel like I am on hold trying to be a bloody fertility saint whereas before all of this I was spontaneous and fun! Don't get me wrong I'm not aiming to get wankered!! I just want to be able to make the choice and not stress about it. Thanks ladies. I swear you lot have all pulled me from a very dark place to functioning somewhat and sometimes functioning normally. You're bloody lifesavers all of you!

Been thinking about setting up MA meetings - miscarriages annon where we all sit there venting and declaring we are POAS/ovulating obsessive addicts!! Then we compare charts. I draw the line at cm in jars though!!

The preggas spots on the tube are high again so I'll be pretending to be asleep for the rest of the journey.

DM just texted me to say my sis-in-law has just gone into labour and I will be an auntie soon. This would be the same DM that hasn't said a word to me about my miscarriage (I knew it would be this way, didn't want to tell her but DH thought we should, in fairness he was prob right). Feels like a punch in the stomach

marma that's hilarious - I wish it was that easy!

Does anyone else do that thing where they raise their pelvis but try and hide it from DH to avoid making him feel I have purely been using him for swimmers which I have Here's me just casually slipping a pillow under my bum.....

lou I was going to ask the same question. I have always continued drinking up to Bfp and assumed everyone else did too, but reading this thread made me think that was perhaps not the case. In the very early stages the baby is basically a bunch of cells rapidly dividing. The placenta doesn't develop until at least 8 weeks so you are not sharing a bloodstream until then. So I think it is fine. In moderation of course, high alcohol consumption has been proven to reduce fertility. But a few glasses of wine with dinner wi be totally fine. This whole experience is difficult enough!

Oh greysar I'm sorry for unthinking mums. Mine sent me a picture of my cousin in hospital holding her newborn, all sweaty but glowing with happiness, a few weeks after my tfmr. It felt like being slapped in the face. She didn't mean it bless her.

Am sorry your mun hasn't been very supportive . Does she perhaps just not know what to say?

Monten, I'm holding on to the she-just-doesn't-know-what-to-say thing to keep my sanity; in reality, she just doesn't really have the ability to empathise (took 6 years if therapy to figure that out). Just had a follow-up that DSIL is well advanced, so tonight I shall mostly be drinking my own bodyweight in white wine- thank you AF for visiting this week!

Sorry to hear of the DM problems. Mine is the same :/

I'm meant to be at a christening tomorrow. Thinking of saying I'm unwell.

And greysar, drink away!!!

It's all so shit for us all :(

Tonight I'm not pregnant

Tonight I'm drinking wine

Same foxtrot wondering whether to have another glass.
Having a really down night though. Does anyone else find that when you try and explain to people, they just don't understand and try to make you feel better.

You can't make me feel better!!! I feel shit!
Sorry... ranting.

As am I foxtrot
My mother is sadly similar.
After she told me to have fun at a party tomorrow she then told me off because I have been grumpy for ages!
Yep, that would be because I miscarried mum! Sorry my grieving is such an inconvenience!
(More wine please)

I was thinking the same thing, I've decided to have more wine!

I've had the same thing marmalade. Bloody people.

Hmm I'm 7/8 dpo. Would I feel horrible having had more wine if I was pregnant?

Wine is good. End of.

That, and we're watching the Alan Partridge movie

I've spent the evening in a yurt, with beer and a man doing bizarre poetry I didn't really understand with a honky tonk piano! We were then caught by someone dtd in our tent when he shone a torch at us. Rather unique night all in all!

Hiya, goodness this thread is so chatty! Wow!

The to drink/ not to drink question is interesting. We're teetotal, and have been for 4 years. DH is an alcoholic and I would try to keep up in the past (like a twat), so not drinking is the only option! That said, I personally think drinking a little bit a few nights a week is not going to do any harm, as long as you don't have a problem with drink. The research into alcohol in pg suggests that it is a problem if you drink quicker than your body can process it, but if you had a glass of wine with food occasionally it wouldn't be an issue. I'm not sure about when TTC, but it can affect sperm mobility.

Well, in my bubble, I had an incredibly early scan today (probably counts as yesterday now) at 4+3. Saw a tiny blob of a sac, and have now been put on a treatment plan, as I have recurrent miscarriage issues. This involves taking steroids, shoving a pessary up my bum and injecting myself in the stomach. Amazing what you find you can put up with to have a baby!

I have another scan booked for a fortnight, and as I usually mc before 6 weeks, it will be a bit make or break.

Pg hormones and the progesterone pessaries are causing loads of symptoms, including insomnia!

Morning you wonderful lot!

Treacle - I'm with you. Know one understands unless they've been through it. People keep telling the age old 'at least you're getting pregnant'! That's no fucking good if in any bloody keep one though is it!!! I'd rather people just say nothing. Hugs my lovely.

I think the odd glass during tww is more than acceptable and to be honest some nights it's bloody necessary! Don't feel guilty ladies, it's far to early to cause any adverse reactions. Maybe just don't get completely legless

Tanny, I'm so glad you now have a plan in place. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you. Stay positive hun.

Hope you've all got lovely weekends planned.
I have baby shower 2 of 4 to contend with tomorrow (2 more next month). Hopefully then there'll be no more for a LONG time. Will try to control my complete jealousy!

Thanks English, good to know it's not just me. Good luck with the baby shower. I'm at a christening today.

Tanny, all the best. Glad they are looking after you!

I very nearly tested this morning. I feel so so sick. Only 8/9dpo though.

Ladies id say avoid alcohol, iys more harm than any good a d you dont want to be stressing over a glass of wine if something goes wrong, not worth the headache. Eat healthy and drink healthy.

Third day and No sign of AF. I had a cold sore a couple of days ago, maybe I'm stressing myself out of getting pg.. And it's delayed my second AF after mc? Could this be possible? Still waiting for pg tests to arrive..

treacle, I felt sick pretty much from conception with dd - honestly, I thought I was going to throw up on the plane back home (she was conceived during a mini break in Germany). I never get travel sick so for me it was the earliest sign. With the dc I mc, I was sick about two weeks after conception. So, you never know...... Fx!