Come one, come all, the Jason Doner-Van is open for business! Don your disco pants, brandish your rim brush and get on it! Its Just Shagging part 24! Can we beat 23's BFP hat trick, flange wankers?!

[RPopz]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 23 is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2063821-Hell-no-Aunt-Flo-You-cant-park-that-red-convertible-here-This-space-is-reserved-Turn-on-tune-in-and-cop-off-Its-Just-Shagging-part-23?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Me too popz!

red I really hope you didn't have to hold the cup for him!

my dh kicked me out of the room for his 2jiac performances!

yes Red you should definitely do it, you have been around these parts much longer than me. If Min pops her head in, she's usually good at helping to come up with funny titles. Maybe we should include the 'Full Moon Unicorn' lala? .

Also love that MR Red practised beforehand, very sweet.

I have booking app today and will no doubt have to pee in one of those sample tubs. I hate doing it, I have such bad aim. I have no clue how you manage in a shampoo lid Lala.

Fx for Saturday Duck, hoping it is indeed baby and not cake.

I think the practice is a good idea red! We only had to do it once but it went on my carpet! I was a bit annoyed but couldn't show it as had to be supportive and grateful!

Oh how happy he was then to be told he produced an above average quantity... 'and that wasn't even all of it because it went on the carpet' he said. Yes husband it did. My nice bedroom carpet!

New thread time already... craaaazy!

Fx Duck and Tee

I'm not looking forward to symptom spotting. My trousers are always tight I'm a greedy cow and my boobs have been sore since I came off the pill. If either gets worse I'm going to have to buy some new clothes or stop being a greedy cow and put the DP on a boob-ban

My aim is dreadful. I tried one of those she-wees at Glastonbury a couple of years ago and pissed all over my shorts My RoC might have to be a paddling pool.

Haha! Pisghetti!

Mind if I lurk a bit? Not TTC until September (job change and house move may be upcoming in the next two months).

Hahahah Dulce.... actual LOL! They are hilarious aren't they. I'm not sure if I'd be able to hold it together if Mr Rpopz jizzed on our bedroom carpet... it cost a bloody fortune!!

Hi horse! what a fantastic point to join the conversation - during discussion of unicorns, she-wees and jizzing on the carpet!

My dh is on way to jizz app just now

What was the full moon unicorn reference? It's familiar but I've forgotten!

I've got impeccable aim - I am too scared to go to festival toilets at night so I always pee in a cup in the tent porch. Well-practised! I used to use those she wee things too. Very difficult when pished.

Jizz on the carpets not pleasant. Bit stiff if you ask me mwahahahahaaaa!!!

I will not comment on whether I ever had to hold the cup LOL OK, maybe once lala hope DH's JZ exam comes back with flying colors.

I am concocting clever headlines in my head!

I don't remember what the full moon unicorn was about either....

Tonight will be a full moon, by the way, and Friday the 13th. Spooooky! Best to stay indoors and try to make babies.

Oh maybe it wasn't you Lala. Someone didn't know what FMU stood for and suggested it meant 'full moon unicorn'. I could search the thread to find out but quite frankly can't be arsed!

Hi Horse, hope you're not bored of us before September comes .

Oh yes!!! That was me! Ha ha! What was FMU again, if not unicorn-related?

First morning urine as in, the very best wee to test with.

Unreal right?

Have to. Admit, I have no idea what is going on in here...

(And please excuse any weird typing, my iPad makes mumsnet go really slow).

Haha, we mostly have no idea either Horse You'll get used to it

Yes horse, what she said -- we are all a little nutty. Welcome!

I'm here. Mostly lurking lately as I've nothing of any interest to say, well apart from tomorrow I am going to Italy so am officially on vacay-mode!

Yeeehawwww!

OK, hmmmmm...

Hows about something like... Ladies, dont waste that Jizz. Pop it out and pop it in! And dont forget the full moon unicorn, she's in need of some decent lovin'! Its Just shaggin' etc etc....

Though it's not too catchy. I've an hour to think of something a little better, that was just lazy of me ha!

Very inspired min. I'll weave in piss by post haha

See I knew I was being lazy, how could I have forgotton the explosive urine!
Brilliant

Ooh yes min that's inspired! Sending piss in the post and jizz in a cup. What a very polite lot we are!

OK shaggers, new FRED is here!

I'm early but I didn't want to get caught up at work and miss the golden opportunity

Let's

Fill