Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Flip

1 2 ··· 35 36 37 38 39 40

Original poster

Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

992 replies

JBrd · 07/02/2014 08:50

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

jassS · 05/09/2014 21:45

Green, do not worry about being sorry for thr other little one! What the hell, you were going for twins and you lost one - it is unfair of people to expect you to be perfectly happy with these news! Of course you will focus soon on the live one and hope the other one absorbs without any complications, but you are allowed to grieve the one you lost first!
I hope the rest of your pg goes uneventfully and you will have your baby happy and healthy in March next year!

lia66 · 05/09/2014 23:07

Hello ladies,

A few of you might remember me from way back. I had my dd at 44, she's 3 and a half now and absolutely the apple of our eye ( as our the 5 older ones).

I'm in here looking for a little moral support as I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant with number 7. I'm 48 in 2 weeks. We weren't trying, dh is not going to be happy.

Sorry for not name checking. It's all a bit aggghh. I'm 5 weeks or so I think x

Gumblossom · 06/09/2014 00:00

Green, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot believe the dr and nurse were so insensitive. How dare they think your other twin is compensation for your loss. I hope all will go well from here on.

Lia, congratulations!!! I was ttc when you were all those years ago. And we are the same age, so your getting pregnant is very exciting. I understand that your DH may not be thrilled, but surely he'll come around eventually? Just take things one day at a time, there's not much else you can do.

I am pretty sure I have now ovulated and though I knew that I went and had an xray on my shoulder yesterday. I would only be 1 dpo, and as I wasn't trying all that hard (only had swi once) I am not worried. I also had an ultrasound on my shoulder. Seems I have a bursitis and will have to stop swimming for a while. Which is awful as I love it so much. Sometimes getting old is depressing...I guess I will have to do some brisk walking instead, and try to keep my shoulder immobilised.

I hope everyone is ok?

cloudjumper · 06/09/2014 08:39

Green, I am so sorry for your loss. In spite of the fantastic news that the other baby is doing ok, it is absolutely understandable that you are sad - you have lost a baby

It must be so hard, being torn between grief and happiness at the same time - hope you're ok!
And you can have the Harmony test at any time in a pregnancy, the 10 weeks thing is just with the package that the FMC does - it's probably going to be more expensive, though...

Hello everyone else! Hope you are all ok.
I'm currently in the 2ww, 10DPO. But not holding out much hope, we only managed to dtd once during ov time... But who knows...temps are still high, and I have managed getting pg before with dtd just once...

AWombWithoutARoof · 07/09/2014 08:16

Gosh Green, of course you're going to be upset. I think sometimes people don't know what to say, even HCPs. Unless someone's had a MC they can't really understand how much we invest in the pregnancy and how our hopes are raised.

I wonder if in your situation them focussing on 'at least you have one' is an extension of 'at least you now know you can get pregnant', when people lose their first.

Grizzer · 07/09/2014 11:15

I can't believe that attitude either Green, you have lost your baby, of course you are going to be upset! Your baby has lost their sibling & you have had time to get used to the fact you were having 2 babies & one has died. It is very sad & you have every right to feel all the emotions of a miscarriage despite your healthy baby.
Congratulations Lia. Have you told dh yet?
I'm due AF tomorrow. No strong feelings but think it's on it's way. I think the acupuncture I have has eased the initial cramps & spotting I used to get so now there is no warning.
Off for a few hours in soft play now - not as bad as it sounds. Dd runs off & plays happily with my friends ds & we drink coffee & chat. Quite a nice way to spend the afternoon xx

jassS · 07/09/2014 15:50

Congrats Lia! Hope the family has reacted positively!

Grizzer · 07/09/2014 19:50

Ho hum ladies, Time for a rant! I am approaching my 42nd birthday & haven't conceived since April 2013. I went to a fertility clinic who barely listened to anything passed my age & said I needed ivf. I didn't really agree as I still felt I could conceive (what do I know?!) & knew dh was not up for sperm tests or anything so certainly not something as major as ivf. We would also only be able to afford one go which seemed risky. His view has always been 'if it happens it happens.' Last night, I told him AF was on the way & he came back downstairs & obviously hit mr google. Today he says to me he's going to cut down on coffee & has read certain foods that will help. He then says we should have started looking at alternatives much earlier as it's probably too late now! I'm pleased he's started to look in to things but I've been telling him for so long that cycling 100 miles a week isn't helping his sperm (& those Lycra shorts have got to go!) & he's dismissed it all as ridiculous. I'm just annoyed that he has suddenly decided he would have been interested in pursuing other methods when the reality is he was not interested at all & wouldn't even go for a sperm test! I feel like we've wasted so much time. It's all down to lack of communication but if I talked about things he worried I was obsessing so I acted all fine & dandy every time AF showed & didn't discuss anything else. I was always thinking he would say it was time to stop TTC if it was causing me to get upset. Ok, rant over. #stillannoyed

cloudjumper · 07/09/2014 20:07

Ouch, grizzer, yeah, that would annoy me, too! '... we should have started looking at alternatives much earlier as it's probably too late now' - what sort of lala land has he been living in?! Oh, wait, yes, the same one that my DH lives in!
At least yours is willing to make some changes - mine say 'yes' and 'of course', started taking the supplements that I am buying (some, not all of them), started lamely doing some exercise and cut back on the wine - for about a week. Now I have to remind him to book the classes at the gym, as he won't go running anymore, and he's back to having wine pretty much every night.

Why wouldn't yours do a sperm test, male pride?! Tell him that there are still plenty of options that you can pursue, one of which is him getting his swimmers tested! Not conceiving at all could definitely be linked to issues on that front... But knowing that would already help, wouldn't it?!
Men

Sorry for the rant. Temp drop this morning, and I started spotting during the day, so AF is imminent. I knew my chances were low this month, but I'm still disappointed. More due to the fact that I'll have to do it all again next month.

jassS · 07/09/2014 20:47

Rant away ladies if you feel you need to! I am of the opinion that most men are like that! Luckily we have 4DC and we still fall pg, so no one has suggested my husband needs to be tested, but that would be the end of the ttc road for us! he just would not. Period. maybe if we had no kids at all, but even then I doubt he would:-)

kiwibabe · 08/09/2014 09:48

Hi well had scanat weekend, 8 weeks!!!!! Delighted but trying to be realistic. Early days. Whats next seea midwife and arrange testing?

mariamaystokes · 08/09/2014 10:40

DH and i have been trying to conceive for 5 years. got pregnant with triplets/quads through DEIVF. lost them all 10 weeks due to having thrombophilia. 2 years ago got diagnosed with fibromyalgia, spinal problem but not sure what the MRI results are yet. told i have adenymosis and fibroids. so not been trying to conceive as i thought it was not possible for me with everything going on with my health. had a hysteroscopy under general anesthetic 2 months ago and biopsy. no surgery. my periods are still very regular, 29/30 days and i do ovulate some months. last month only bled for 1 day, medium flow. never thought too much of it until nausea kicked in, boobs very tender and swollen now for over 4 weeks. sense of smell seems heightened.cant stand coffee or wine anymore. my aerolas seem wider, they have always been dark. constipation has been awful for weeks now and i am usually the other way around. too scared to take a test.

jassS · 08/09/2014 20:41

Congrats,Kiwi! Hope it continues this way!
Maria - do not torture yourself, just pee on that stick! Hope for the best!

Gumblossom · 08/09/2014 23:48

Kiwi - what wonderful news. 8 weeks!!! It's amazing and wonderful.

maria, just take a test and then you will know. I don't think I could stand the suspense. It certainly sounds like it is a possibility.

Gumblossom · 09/09/2014 09:03

Kiwi, how did DH react??

kiwibabe · 09/09/2014 10:08

Hi dh was a bit shocked at first thought i was talking about someone else!!,still vomiting and got to try ang get through work as dont want anyone to know yet,trying to get midwife appointment now.

10000Fireflies · 09/09/2014 11:03

Just a quick hi from me. Lots more good news and bad from you all... So busy! Will try to catch up with your properly soon. Congrats and unmumsnetty hugs where required. FF xx

mamaslatts · 09/09/2014 21:30

Just got a BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haven't been on the 40+ threads for months and only came on sporadically anyway. I'd been trying for nearly 2 years so not quite believing it still...

Just wanted to tell someone (other than DH)

AWombWithoutAFoof · 09/09/2014 21:49

Bravo!!!

mamaslatts · 09/09/2014 21:54

Hello! Thank you. Bit shell shocked at the minute. x

10000Fireflies · 09/09/2014 22:35

Woohoo!! Another one!! Congrats *mamaslatts!

Gumblossom · 09/09/2014 22:50

mamalatts, congratulations! May it all go smoothly for you.

It is nice to see so many bfp's. It gives us hope. Did you do anything different this time?

Lia, I meant to ask you the same thing - were you doing anything in particular which would have helped your fertility? Apart from having sex...

Gumblossom · 09/09/2014 23:28

Hi everyone. I've just had the news that my dad has prostate cancer. I've started a thread here rather than type it all out again.

What with FIL so ill too, I hope a bfp will be at the end of this cycle to cheer me (and the family)up!

cloudjumper · 10/09/2014 10:04

gum So sorry to hear about your DF - it's the news that no one ever wants to have. Wishing you and your family lots of strength. Please try and take some comfort in the fact that PC these days is very treatable, with very good outcomes. Fingers crossed for your dad.

Congrats mama! Here's to a boring and uneventful pregnancy!

AF has arrived today Re-set the OV monitor, started a new chart on FF. Back on working my way up to ovulation and the next 2ww. I can't say how fed up I am with this at the moment!

mamaslatts · 10/09/2014 14:14

gumblossom - thanks for the congrats but sorry to hear your news about your dad. Yes, you definitely are due some good news so will keep everything crossed for your bfp.

No, we didn't do anything different, I was using the clearblue predictor and often we were only having sex about once a month round fertile time It took about 22 cycles (DS 2 took about 13 cycles). However, for us it was very much an added bonus baby, would have been very different if it was first or even second. My periods had become more irregular over the last year at least though so I was starting to think it wouldn't happen. Just as we were coming to terms with this... so, yes, hopefully completely boring pregnancy.

Flip

1 2 ··· 35 36 37 38 39 40