Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

[basia2]

I'm 41, and will begin TTC #4 this month.
My youngest child is two.
May I join your club? :)

[sandgrown]

Good luck to all you ladies .I hope you all get pregnant and have lovely babies!. When DP and I got together we both had grown up families and accepted we would never have a child of our own. We were totally shocked when I found out I was pregnant. Maybe it happened because we were not thinking about it and just enjoying practising! Good luck Tadpole and congratulations Willitbe. My friend of 42 is trying so will tell her to get on here!

[Grizzer]

Ladies, help me get a control of myself! I'm 2 days from af. I now have no cramps although I do have the odd sensation but doesn't feel like af. No spotting & I usually spot for a few days beforehand (& try and tell myself it's implantation but it never is!).
It's ridiculous when I still have 2 days to go as all of these things have plenty of time to rear their ugly heads but I'm really getting my hopes up, to the point where I can't concentrate on anything at work & all I want to do is go to bed and wake up on Wednesday!
I used an opk this morning, which is a bit stupid really because I have no idea what I'm looking for. I had no second line. Is that good or bad? I have some vague memory of doing this before and having slight second line when af was due.
With dd I didn't have a positive test until I was a week late so I'm trying to hold out until at least Wednesday.
I've just had a very small coffee and am now beating myself up over it!!
I know I am setting myself up for the biggest fall but I just can't help it. I've convinced myself I'm pregnant and every twinge in my abdomen is doing nothing to convince me otherwise.
Oh, & I've just seen one magpie so now I'm definitely doomed!!! lol.
IamcalmIamcalmIamcalm.
Is it Wednesday yet?

[JBrd]

Grizzer How long are your cycles normally, and are you sure of your ov dates? If so, I'd poas.... Sorry to hear that you are getting so stressed about this (I've been there).
Please don't beat yourself up over a coffee, one small mug is perfectly within the allowed amounts.
OPKs won't tell you anything at this stage. There are some stories going around that some of them can pick up a BFP and come up +ve, but I'm not sure how valid this is.
If you don't want to test just yet, can you distract yourself somehow? A tricky project that takes all your concentration? Or lots of exercise, that always helps me to get rid of tension. Or planning a big holiday, maybe?

Welcome basia You've come to the right place! And yes, sand, do point your friend in this direction, this thread has helped me so much in the past.

Hello, my lovely! Glad to see that you are still lurking

Thought to you pg ladies - how about we start a new 40+ pg thread? I have looked everywhere and just cannot find the old one anymore, it has disappeared completely.

[JBrd]

Hah! I have managed to find the 40+ pr thread in the antenatal clubs section - no activity since December, but I reckon that there's no need to start a new thread then!

Pg 40+s, come and join me here

[Grizzer]

Jbrd I have a 31 day cycle. Tomorrow is day 30. Ov was 26th or 27th jan so I'm so about 14dpo. I'll test tomorrow. Feel some twinges which still don't feel like normal AF but probably is.
Work got a bit busier so I didn't obsess too much. Speaking of planning a holiday though - has anyone been to Disneyland Paris? Thinking of taking dd for a few days in July.
Welcome Basia this thread will keep you sane throughout TTC (I know I don't sound sane at the moment but I normally am!!) hope you're journey is short.
sand how pg are you? C

[Grizzer]

Oops meant to say 'congratulations' but dd is trying to hide a torch under my legs & I accidentally pressed send!!

[jass43]

Basia welcome and good luck, Sands, congratulations and have an easy pregnancy!

grizzer, opk will not tell you a thing even if it had a line. It may have a line from luteinizing hormone at the end of the cycle, probably not a strong one, but a line is possible. OPKs do pick up hcg though, so if you had a line you could see whether hpt has one too. With opk totally clean i would wait a couple of days for hpt as well, in case it is just too early to test.
i use opks to see where the line is going, but only after hpt has confirmed it is really a hcg line. But i also know that at the end of the cycle my opk-s are totally clean, no LH hormones visible. Not everybody is like that. The opk will aleays be positive for pregnant women, as it do not differentiate between LH and hcg hormones. They are similar, like identical flowers, but one has a stem as well and the other not. so, opk picks up the flower (both of them), but hpt only the stem - see why hpt is positive only with hcg, but opk with the two different hormones?

[mumalah]

Hello Ladies, I found you ! Nothing exciting to report. Seem to be having a long cycle this month, didn't ovulate till cd22. So I just want to get it over with and start a brand new cycle. Poor dh isn't going to know whats hit him, I am determined this month! Good luck ladies for this month too!

[Grizzer]

Thanks Jass, what a lovely way to describe our peeing on sticks!! Still no spotting but weird feelings in abdomen. I think it means I may not get AF tomorrow but it will come in the next day or so. Last night had discomfort in right groin area, very similar to ovulation. I've dismissed this for the last few months as me only just noticing it because I'm becoming more aware of when I ovulate but now I've decided I never noticed it before because I've never had it before. When AF shows I'm going to get proactive and book a private appointment for a scan & the dye thingy. I might still test tomorrow so that I can stop wondering even though I already know the answer. Thank you all for putting up with pre AF monthly hope madness followed by the gloom of reality!!

[greenlizard]

Grizzer with both my pregnancies I had twinging in my right side of my groin - a bit like ovulation pain. Was the first sign I was up the duff....

Just saying .......

[Grizzer]

Aaahhhh green don't do this to me!! I'm sitting here, watching part 2 of the 'births, deaths & marriages' where I cried all through part 1 (not crying yet) thinking, 'is that AF twinge? I'm sure it's AF, might not be AF, am I feeling damp, might be bleeding, no I'm not bleeding....' & on it goes!!!! Will be testing in the morning & then AF will arrive for sure x

[jass43]

feeling damp (watery discharge) is also pregnancy symptom, grizzer! (Just teasing :-)))))
do that test, of course, gives the peace of mind atleast if not bfp.

I am waiting for ov. am also gluten-free and milk free, and sugar free. It is OK but I can not be red-wine-free at the same time....have to figure out how to be low carb and not crave wine.....any tips?

[Grizzer]

Well, AF showed right on time! I knew it in my heart but have to say all the build up felt nothing like. I'm going to make a note of the symptoms I had so I know not to get my hopes up next k

[Grizzer]

Sorry, fat thumbs & small phone!
..... Next month I meant to say.
jass why are you cutting these things out? I've wondered if dairy is an issue for me. I don't think the odd glass of wine does any harm, don't deprive yourself too much or you'll resent it x

[greenlizard]

Sorry to hear AF got gift grizzer...

jass might have missed it but why are you going gluten/diary/wine free?general health kick or something specific? I have to say I couldn't be doing without a glass of wine -one of life's great pleasures! (* disclaimer - I would obviously be very happy to forgo such pleasure for a pregnancy that led to a baby)

jbrd how are you doing? Not worrying too much I hope?.

Any news morien??????

Good luck with this cycle mumlah may this one be your lucky one.

Welcome basia - May your stay be short!

[JBrd]

jass If you're cutting all these things out, what are you still eating?! Does not sound like a balanced diet to me, sorry... Bit too much like the Dukan diet, where you just eat protein and vegetables.
If I did that, a glass of wine would knock me right out

Sorry about AF grizzer Have some and ! Fingers crossed for next month.

green How are you?! Good to hear from you again. Are you happy with Prof Regan? Does she have a 'plan' of investigations and tests for you? Very curious... I had started reading her book (never finished it, though) and found her very sensible.

I've been feeling quite bleurgh every day on and off since Sunday, desperately hoping that this is a good sign... Taking one day at a time, trying to focus on work and mundane household things as much as possible, otherwise I'll go crazy.

[SquidgyMummy]

Hi All,
May join too? I am 43 about to TTC no2.

DS is 3.4 and DP and I only just feel mentally ready to TTC after 3 years of sleep deprivation etc...

I have ordered some OPKs but have forgotten so much about what the luteal cycle etc is (and I was obsessively reading about it 4 years ago!).

Would also like to add some positive stories.
Apart from conceiving DS naturally at 39 and he was born when i was 40.
One friend conceived twins naturally at 41, and another has had twins at 45, she had clomid, but said that acupuncture and chinese herbs really helped her. She also took something called DHEA to improve egg quality, but she is in the US, so maybe that is more common there.)

[jass43]

er, no, no diet really - I eat meat, fish, eggs, veg, fruit, gluten-free grains (millet, teff, etc), nuts-seeds-lentils all that. Only cut really out wheat based bread and cheese and butter. and i am not crazily following every molecule hiding in restaurant menus. i do it 'cause there is some research that dairy and wheat enhace immune issues with recurrent mc. since cheese and flour are definitely not a must to stay healthy, i just do not do them:-) i may also loose a couple of kilos, but this is not an issue - i have a 23ish BMI,so can afford to lose, but am not interested in losing :-)

[Grizzer]

Welcome Squidgy lovely to hear the positive stories, gives us all hope!
Has anyone had HSG test? Can you just book it (privately I know) or do you have to see a consultant first? I'd really like to give it a try but would rather just go for it than fork out £200 for a consultant to suggest it.

[SquidgyMummy]

(sounding thick) but what is a HSG test Grizzer?

[Grizzer]

Jass my acupuncturist has mentioned wheat to me as a possible issue. I love lattes & I've noticed sometimes I get bloating after so I agree re the dairy too. Can't hurt to try these things but don't deprive yourself too much. I have one or 2 coffees a day which I know isn't much but I'm trying to cut them out. It's really hard though, such a habit.
squidgy hsg stands for something really long! It's basically an xray on your Fallopian tubes, they put a blue dye through & look for any kind of blockage. I've looked into it because I feel a lot more uncomfortable (pain is too strong a word) but definitely noticing ovulation a lot more than I used to. I also have ibs which can cause a build up if mucus (sorry) so I wonder if that might be stopping soeem getting through.
I think it's quite good at clearing things out & I've heard about a couple of people who got pg after it.
I d

[Grizzer]

Sorry, keep posting accidentally.
I don't think we'll try for too much longer so I want to say I tried everything. Dd asked again last night when was she going to be a big sister. I think it's going to cost about £400 but that's what credit cards are for!
squidgy I meant to say it stands for something very long & I don't know what it is. Didn't mean to sound like it's too big for you!! Sorry - read it back & it sounded very patronising! Not intended at all x

[Grizzer]

Also meant sperm not soeem!

[jass43]

hsg stands for hysterosalpingogram. but it is indeed a dye through fallopian tubes, it shows whether they are open and sometimes forces them open if there is small blockage. Can not hurt!
i have not had it, as no doubt ovulating and passing eggs through. Have had laparoscopy to remove fallopian cyst though, oh the joy of bloated feeling afterwards! HSG is supposedly more tolerable, as no need to fulfill all cavities with gas....but i think you need a reason to have it, at least where I live. normally not done just on your request, but most gynes would agree to it if you have been ttc and no success, say, in a year. you can always say it has been three years, of course:-)