Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

[Frecklefacedgirls]

gum so sorry to hear about your Dad, it must be a very difficult time for you x
Congrats mama! My DD3 was conceived just as we were coming to terms with giving up ttc too. Hope you do have a boring and uneventful pregnancy!
Sorry AF got you cloud x
How are you green? It's a time of such mixed emotions, naturally you'll grieve for the little one you lost but there's every chance you'll go on to have a normal pregnancy with the remaining baby x
I've been thinking about you Jass ,hope you're ok x
Sorry not to namecheck more people, wishing everyone ttc well

[NewEraNewMindset]

Argh, not pregnant this cycle, gutted

[Grizzer]

Sorry to hear about your dad, Gum. Hope you get some good news soon.
Congrats bfps! We're on a bit of a roll at the moment. I'm just finishing AF so back to it soon!
Dd started school today. She was so happy & excited. Her first words this morning were: will I be a big sister now I'm starting school? Ouch!

[RainyAfternoon]

Hello, I've not been on this thread, but was on the previous one where I received lots of support and advice esp from hopeful gum (is that you Gum blossom?) as I was just about to give up in my quest for another baby after two miscarriages.

So I just wanted to pop back and say thank you, and let you know my beautiful six week old girl is here with me sitting on my lap. All is well - pregnancy was uneventful (from a medical POV - our life - with redundancies and new jobs in France - well thats a whole different story!) Birth was quick and good and all's well. My midwife is trying to convince me to go for another, but with three healthy kids and at 43 I think I'll be calling it quits now!

Good luck to you all, I wish all you strength and blessings in your journey.

[Gumblossom]

Hello Rainyafternoon. Congratulations on your baby girl. Wonderful news! Yes I was hopefulgum, but I changed back to Gumblossom after I got pregnant, but lost another.

Newera, sorry to hear af turned up. Try not to be gutted, just get back on that horse and try again.

Thanks for your kind thoughts about my dad.

He would have seen the specialist on Thursday (it is now Saturday here) and my mum hasn't called to tell me what is going on. I struggle to understand why she wouldn't just call one of us (four kids) and let us know what the Dr said. They may not be back home, and they refuse to get a mobile phone (very frustrating), but they would have stayed in a hotel which would have a telephone. It makes me as I would be more considerate in her shoes. All she has to do is call one of us and we'd let the others know.

Anyway, I guess I will hear eventually. I'll keep trying to call them at home, but if they're still in the city there's not much I can do.

I'm now 8 dpo, but not feeling very hopeful. Getting very close to packing it in for good.

[jassS]

Gum, sorry about your worries! I hope you have the news by now.
i feel like packing it in for good as well. Have finally tested neg even on sensitive test, so I am physically over my mc. i have urges to throw my ov tests into bin, but know I would regret it as soona s ewcm shows.
I have heard the news that I will be grandmother next year in April. ir has taken the edge off of all this ttc business for moment. Grandmothers do not ttc. If it happens it happens, but I now try to live on and forget about it all. My life is too good to spoil it by wrong results on pee sticks when there is a younger generation in the family who can come off the pill and be pg in few weeks:-)))

[Frecklefacedgirls]

Glad to hear you're physically over your miscarriage jass, though it can be more difficult and slower to recover emotionally as we know, so do look after yourself x
It is wonderful to hear the news about your daughter, how exciting! Does she live near you?
Being a grandmother may make you feel differently about ttc, but I had thrown away my ov tests and stopped temping when our little miracle happened..... and I'm older than you.......just saying!
Hope you've heard by now how your Dad got on in the hospital gum, how frustrating not knowing and not being able to contact your parents!
Congrats on your baby girl Rainy , hope you're managing to get some sleep!
Sorry AF arrived NewEra.
Great your DD was happy to start school Grizzer, hope the novelty doesn't wear off after the first few days! My DD2 is in her last year of primary school so feels very grown up and important. The little reception children looked so small and cute in their school uniforms!

[Gumblossom]

Hi ladies.

My sister phoned last night with some news, but not much. Which is understandable at this stage. Dad has had an mri and blood tests to see if there are secondaries. When they have this information they will know what to do next. I am not sure if the urologist spoke to them about options. My sister said they are sounding very negative and my dad thinks he has had a death sentence. Honestly, I wish they were glass half full types, but they most certainly aren't. Perhaps it makes no difference to outcomes, but I have always thought that positive thinking is powerful (though it still hasn't helped me get my PLB). It also sounded like they don't want to talk to anyone, so I am not going to call them yet.

Jass - that is wonderful news about your daughter. You must be very happy about that, but I would understand if you also felt a little upset for yourself as you are only just getting over a miscarriage.

Despite the feeling that I have no chance at a pregnancy, after having particularly sore breasts with very dark nipples, I did a test this morning at 9 dpo. It was negative, but I am not at all surprised. I am a bit surprised that I bothered testing. It's habitual I think.

I spent a lovely couple of hours on the beach with DH and DS yesterday.The sun was out and it was perfect down there. We had a lovely time, and I think,more and more, it make sense to move on from ttc, to make other plans. I know I've been saying it for a long time, but perhaps it is coming more naturally now. I only have a couple of cycles before my 48th birthday. Then I think I must make an effort to give up all things ttc, including mumsnet. It just seems to spur me on.

But not yet

[jassS]

Sorry Gum tour parents think in a negative way. Being positive should be such a big part of fighting this disease, but you can not change people especially at their old age. Hope the news on spreads will come back good.

My daughter lives in Estonia, and I have 20 months left of my stay in Luxembourg, so i will miss out the baby year, but of course we can visit more often than we fly over noe,an d work takes me back there for couple of days rather often. But from spring 2016 we will be all in the same country and same town. Her pregnancy dated close to my lost one does not bother me at all. I have lost so many that have due dates spread over the year and have forgotten most of them anyway. Being used to mc is a sad thing, but in fact I am. I badly need only to lose my gained 4kg, but any thought of diet sends me into overeating spiral, so maybe I just have to forget about it. Plenty of stuff inm y wardrobe still fits, so not hurry. But I am now hovering around 25BMI, which is uncomfortable. I have never been medically onerweight and am scared of stepping into that territory. Still 24,7, but uncomfortably close.....

[10000Fireflies]

Evening All

Cloud and NewErahow are you doing now? I hope you are feeling more positive even though AF has put in another unwelcome visit.

Matts I love that you conceived just as you were thinking it wouldn’t happen. I think a lot of use are hoping the same will happen.

Green how are you doing now? So sorry to hear you lost a twin and that the medics weren’t sympathetic. Why is it so difficult for women to be treated decently over these matters?

Grizzer hope DD enjoys her first full week at school. I used to nag my Mum for a little sister, but I was definitely the last of three as it had been pretty traumatic for them to have us.

Rainy congrats on the safe arrival of your little one. Wishing you and your family all the best.

Gum so sorry this cycle isn’t looking good. You’re a day ahead of me, post ovulation. What are the tests you are using? How are you so sure they’re accurate at this stage? Can you get better ones in the Southern Hemisphere??!!

So sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope that it is a mild form and hasn’t spread. Such a shame they’re not keeping you completely in the picture. There isn’t much you can do at the moment for your Dad though until you know the full picture, so save your energies for when they really need you, difficult though that might be. I know it can be very uncomfortable when you don’t know the full story.

Jass Oh my goodness! Well, congratulations on becoming a Grandmother soon!! It’s funny, I was looking at a women in the supermarket the other day. She had her daughter with her, who looked early 20s and was pushing a pram with her newborn in. I had to have a good look at the Granny and try and work out if people would class me in the same age group. I am certain we were the same age.

So my plan of emailing DH a timeframe of my possible fertile window didn’t seem to work. sigh. He has been saying that he isn’t aware of when that is… so I give him the information….and nothing….This is along with gentle daily hints about what the fertility monitors reading are. He doesn’t like it when I’m upfront… he doesn’t like it when I’m subtle…. I’d better get those Yes/No pillows printed up… You’d think he wasn’t keen for DC2 wouldn’t you??!! I think he’s just too damn lazy to get down to business without being nagged, which is not great, really! I told him to put in some more effort now and maybe he will get then next 40 weeks off from DTD. Maybe the rest of our married lives even!! Am 8DPO and although I have been getting some very exciting twinges which has led to some momentary fantasising about them being implantation pains, I am pretty sure it’s plain old AF gearing up for Friday.. I have been experiencing fairly severe web stalking today which points fairly conclusively to AF being on the way.

Well, off to bed for me. Bitey boy is starting his nursery school induction tomorrow. I hope he won’t be attacking his classmates like he does kids in the playground, Mummy, Daddy and his friends… I don’t think I can take the shame.

Night all. FF xx

[10000Fireflies]

I've killed the thread again, haven't I?

[Gumblossom]

Of course you haven't killed the thread FF ! I don't have any good news. My boob tenderness has disappeared completely so I fully expect AF to arrive soon. I use First Response tests. I got positives at 9 & 10 dpo with my pregnancies over the last six years.

Your twinges could very well mean something FF as implantation can feel like AF twinges . It is not over yet .

Deige are you back from your holiday yet?

[10000Fireflies]

Well, thank goodness for that Gum! Good to hear from you. I was starting to get paranoid.

I hope you are wrong about that damned AF... I feel like I should be cheering you on when you are being so positive about my symptoms. The timings for implantation pains were about right, but I have had so many shitty PMS symptoms these past few days I am just counting down to when the painters put in another appearance.

I shouldn't have asked re the tests. I have a FR in the bathroom. I am not testing until day 25!!

[Gumblossom]

AF turned up this morning. That gives me a LP of 12 days. Another nail in the coffin of ttc. It's nearly burial time I think....

[calibee]

Hello lovely ladies. still reading...still ttc, despite being a Granny to 2. Wow, have to say I was a little surprised at the comment from Jass re granny shouldn't be ttc, even a little offended. However I also remember how I felt when dd1 announced her pregnancy...she was 20, I was 39. It took some time to come to terms with, not least as I wasn't sure my child bearing days were over.
On a lighter note, this Granny (although I prefer Nana) is off to fertility clinic to receive my medication for stimulated IUI. . Love and luck to all.

[jassS]

Sorry Calibee, I meant it of course in my own personal context - i felt a bit this way,still do. it does not mean for me that other grandmothers should not! but for me it is an important fadtor which hopefully will give me a push to move on:-) I want to be over the ttc, badly so, just I can not be. No idea whether my rational mind will win over my emotional mind and I manage to doit,b ut I do not want to continue for much longer. I just lack the courage to say "enough".

[diege]

Hello!!! Sorry for being such a rubbish cheerleader of late - I have droopy pompoms and a too tight uniform but I am still firmly cheering you all on
Sorry to hear about the sad news on the thread with your dad gum and green's little lost bean . At the same time it is good to read of bfps and all the support that continues to make this such an inspirational thread.
I had a totally knackering 'holiday' though the change of scene was nice. Ds1 (age 5) had several tantrums every day which was odd and certainly added a certain something to the 2 weeks...In hindsight the 2 consecutive weeks going from one place to the other was too much. Remind me if this next year when I book!
Ds 3 will be 1 on he 11th October! He is such a cutie - very vocal but also a mummy's boy who loves his cuddles. This past 12 months has been harder than I would have imagined; the broken sleep and night feeds horrendous, though thankfully short lived. He's passed that baton onto ds2 now .
Off to Cardiff for a few days for work and REALLY looking forward to the hotel and sleep. Oh yes, will miss the LOs terribly .
Love to all xxx

[Gumblossom]

Hi Diege, it is so nice to hear from you. Sorry to hear the holiday was 'knackering"! However, your trip for work sounds like it could give you a bit of rest.

I think I may be coming around to full acceptance of stopping ttc. However, that's not to say I am definitely giving up.It depends a bit how I feel in the lead up to ovulation.

More and more I am feeling the need to move on.It isn't a "for my sanity" thing, where I am too devastated month after month. It's actually more practical. Physically I would find it hard, I know that. And financially it would be a bit of a blow. At the moment, with a house full, including my two grown up boys, we are hardly making ends meet with my full-time income. I know having a baby would mean we'd have to be super careful with money and I am not sure I want to be. I am also thinking about a bit of adventure for DH and me, before we are too old, and if we don't have adventures soon, it might never happen.

I guess having elderly, ill parents has helped me realise that we need to travel before we get much older. I still really want to live in the UK for a year, and if I have a baby, that will be put off for a few more years.

Having said all that, I would still be over the moon with a BFP

Fireflies, how are you feeling? When is test day?

[Gumblossom]

Calibee - excited to hear that your fertility treatment is happening. I've got everything crossed for you.

[Grizzer]

Hello ladies, how are you all? Nearly the weekend but I have to work Saturday morning so not getting too excited.
How did bitey boy get on at nursery FF? Any dramas?
Sorry AF got you Gum. An Lp of 12 days is ok isn't it? I thought under 10 was when it was an issue?
Any more news on your dad?
Welcome back from holiday Diege. A few days away without the dc's is no bad thing. Enjoy some much needed rest.
Jass you are not ready to give up yet, don't feel you have to because your daughter is pregnant (congratulations!) she knows you're TTC doesn't she? You can be happy for her without giving up your own dreams/needs/hopes - not quite sure what word I need!
Good luck Calibee x

[AWombWithoutAFoof]

Well, I had a couple of twinges yesterday, AF due on 28th and I normally get a bit of period pain a week before. Pah.

This month we did everything right, got a positive OPK and went for it that night and the next, so the swimmers were definitely lying in wait. It's a bit like the lottery isn't it, you pick 6 numbers and it doesn't seem possible that you're not going at least win a tenner.

[AWombWithoutAFoof]

Just to add to my indignation, I've had loads of acupuncture, Chinese herbs AND I've been using pads not tampons following the guidance of my acupuncturist.

Grr.

[10000Fireflies]

Morning all

I cracked and tested on Wednesday, but it confirmed what I knew, and AF turned up this moring.

Gum what’s wrong with a 12 day LP? Love the sound of your travel plans, though you are hardly that old and decrepit… yet.!!!

Grizzer bitey boy is being an utter embarrassment. He has had a go at several children in less than six hours at the nursery already, and both he and I are clearly identified to most parents now as deliquents. Not good. He is now on 1:1 until he has ‘grown’ out of it…

I hope you are wrong Awomb and that it’s not AF. I try to think of it this way, although it hasn’t worked this month, everything’s in place and we’re doing all the right things (apart from shagging enough) for it to happen very soon. Will your acupuncturist allow mooncups? Can’t abide pads myself!

I’d better knuckle down and get on with some hovering before collecting the bitey one… Was just getting stuck in when DM called to tell me another tale of woe about DF. It’s all a bit of a drag really.

Must update my fertile scheudule and email to DH for him to ignore again. I will also have to arm myself with a battery of subtle and not-so-subtle hints or I shall feel like it’s another wasted cycle. Any tips, ladies?

Love to all. FF xx

[cloudjumper]

calibee Crossing everything for you, good luck!

fireflies Watching with interest about tips and hints, as I am in the same position. I really need to motivate myself for dtd, CD10 today, and ovulation is looming... Urgh. I am so not in the mood. And DH completely oblivious and living in his own little world.

Gum Don't put your life on hold because of ttc. What will be will be - no point delaying any plans because there might or might not be a baby at some point... Life's too short!
I agree with others, a 12-day-LP sounds good to me! It means that your progesterone should be doing it's job... Why are you worried?

womb Twinges can mean anything (even implantation cramps ), so don't give up hope yet! Still some days to go, so anything is possible.

My cold has finally gone, and I will try to re-start my fitness regime by going to the gym tonight. It's easier to do a class, where they shout instructions at me, than having to motivate myself to go for a run. But I am sooo tired...of everything.

Struggling with the communication lockdown between me and DH. He never asks how I feel about the miscarriages/ttc/anything related to it, and I am sick of this elephant in the room. But then again, I don't say anything either...

[AWombWithoutAFoof]

Implantation cramps, you say? Any chance you'd give me that in writing

Didn't ask the acupuncturist about mooncups, I had awful internal damage from DD's birth and really can't face going up to my own elbow in my fanjo.