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'TTC after a miscarriage - heres to bouncing 2007 babies'

1000 replies

pepperpots · 01/08/2006 13:05

Well here is the new thread
Here is wishing everyone all the luck in the world and i hope everyone's stay is short (meant in the nicest possible way!)

Lots of sticky baby dust to everyone
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OP posts:
LittlePolly · 17/08/2006 18:54

Time4tea - I just wanted to say hi and send you hugs as you sounded so miserable and worried. Just know that you are surrounded by love and support from everyone here in the next few days, which I guess are going to seem interminably long for you whatever any of us says. Hang in there.
I wanted to thank you too for the book about depression you recommended to me (Sunbathing in the Rain by Gwyneth Lewis). I ordered it from Amazon and it arrived this morning and I haven't stopped reading it all day. What she says feels so much like the truth to me that I have been in tears at some points. She is so brilliant at putting into words many of the things I have been feeling. Thank you so much for that, and for your words of kindness which have helped me more than you could know. (Sorry, hope I haven't embarrassed you with that eulogy! )
Anyway, I've decided to slow down and take things as they come and if that means having to wait a bit longer before getting pregnant again, so be it.

Ruthlouise - I am glad your day of remembrance felt all right in the end. The fruit and garden produce venture sounds really soothing. My greenhouse felt like the only place I could find real solace after my mc - there is something so comforting about growing and nurturing things.

Oinker - it's great to hear you sounding so positive. You're amazing. You WILL lose the weight you need to. Are you doing exercise as well as diet? Walking, walking and more walking is the way to go.......

Hi everyone else, and welcome to those who've just joined. Love and luck to all. x

babyfettle · 17/08/2006 19:18

Rubles, I hope today went ok. I didn't really realise it was your baby's due date today until I read your post.

I'm feeling calmer about everything today and I am glad that DH's colleague has managed to get back in time for the birth of his 1st child. I think having his leave later actually works out better for us as a family - particularly as there was no way I was going to be fertile in the week he was due home!! Now just to need to hope I am when I does come back!

To all those in your 2ww, however hard it is, I would try and wait until you are late. I've made that mistake every time since the mc and the crushing disappointment of BFN and trying to convince myself that I'd tested too early, was very hard on myself mentally.

Anyway, big hugs to all and sticky, fertile thoughts!!

oinker · 17/08/2006 19:22

The diet seems to be going fine...

I have done quite a bit of walking today and have a blister on my toe to proove it. The only thing with me and walking is that I get sharp pains in my groin. I have been told it's the fibroids. I prefer swimming. Have not been yet but will start next week after A/F. It's also mayhem at the pool during the holidays. Adults only is after 730pm. Too late for me. I am already relaxing for bed and am psyching myself up for my 5am wake up for work.

SKYTVADICT · 17/08/2006 19:31

Hi, again. I keep popping in here to get updated.

We are in our second month of ttc after mc in April. AF due next Wednesday 23rd. I also have told myself I will not test until Friday. If I don't buy one I can't test can I?

Been B'ding quite a lot this month as been away so fingers crossed for us and everyone else x

oinker · 17/08/2006 19:32

Fingerscrossed......

For you (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
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Janus · 18/08/2006 08:34

AF arrived early, bad few days, all I seem to do is cry at the moment. Going away this weekend for 2 weeks with no access to computer so hope to read some positive news when I come back. Bye.

oinker · 18/08/2006 08:40

Have a lovely holiday Janus. Have a nice break.

oinker · 18/08/2006 08:42

Just read a newspaper article about the first lady that has just die whilst having IVF treatment. How sad. OMG so shocking.

Angsthase · 18/08/2006 09:20

Janus - sorry AF arrived. Hope you have a lovely relaxing holiday. Relax and enjoy. x
Georgie - I would wait until you're actually late to test. The disappointment is bad enough when AF arrives, but a BFN is pants.
Oinker - keep up the good work. Exercise really is the key.
Babyfettle - fingers crossed that his leave coincides with OV for you.
SkyTV - here's hoping AF doesn't arrive.
Time4Tea - hope you're feeling ok.
Rubles - any news on your appointment?

As for me AF due today or tom, but no sign. Starting to get my hopes up, when really I'm sure I ov'd after DH left, but am really tired and I couldn't finish the glass of wine I had with dinner last night as it tasted funny - could just have been funny wine I suppose. Anyway, not going to test until sunday. Trying to stay chilled out, but not managing it very well!

time4tea · 18/08/2006 09:23

Janus, take care (( hugs ))

LittleFrog, thanks for your lovely words. The beauty of online is that I can read it and feel entirely delighted to have helped and glad I made a recommendation, whereas if someone was so nice to me in RL, I'd be beetroot red From my own experience of being depressed myself, and caring for my mum when she had depression, I know it is so hard - no matter what we have to cope with is easier if we can be in good spirits. I really wish you luck. I do think depression is often a way of telling us to really look at our lives and attitudes and be kinder to ourselves, there is hope for change and a more enjoyable life in the longer-term. the bad feelings do pass. be good to yourself.

Yesterday I had a better day, and now DH is off work for the weekend. I spent a lot of yesterday with a friend who had a mc then went on to have her beautiful baby boy (now 3 months) so this was top therapy.

take care all - enjoy the sunshine after the rain (what we have here in N London) I was really delighted to see new green shoots of grass in my brown "lawn" - will try some garden therapy this w/e.

andi0411 · 19/08/2006 01:00

Hi ladies- good luck to all those with tests approaching andso sorry to all those who hav the evil af.

i am in my 2ww at the moment and feeling very pre-mens. Hope it's a lucky one for us all very soon... xx

Uki · 20/08/2006 05:27

HELLO EVERYONE

I hope I can join you had a m/c two weeks ago. I was just going for 12 week scan and thought it was all going to be good since, i'd made it so far, but scan showed baby had died at 7 weeks.]
Anyway still finding it hard, it has been my third possibly 4th m/c. My last pregnancy thankfully did result in my ds, but i can't believe i have again had another m/c.
One of my good friends and I were due three days apart so, like rubles and janus I have that weird jealousy thing going on. The weirdst thing is we were also pregnant together in 04 and were also due the feb 05 and i lost that one too. Obviously we are not meant to be preg together or I am not meant to have babes in Feb.

Anyway have an appointment at recurrent m/c clinic next month so maybee I can find something out.
Bye for now

time4tea · 20/08/2006 08:11

hello Uki, I'm sorry for your loss, but you are really welcome here, there are marvellous kind thoughtful souls on this thread and you will find friendship and support.

I know exactly how you feel - my 12 wk scan in late April showed that our baby had died at 7 weeks. Given that I had felt sick as a dog for the full 12 weeks and with sore breasts etc as in my previous pregnancy, there was no real reason to think anything was wrong (although I was very nervous about the whole thing and prepared for something to go wrong - mainly because a colleague had suffered a missed mc, with no idea that such a thing might happen - a horrible shock for her).

It's a horrible way to have a miscarriage, as I'm finding now with my current pregnancy (I got pregnant straight away again, a miracle really given that we had waited a year to conceive before) as no matter how many symptoms of pregnancy you have, nothing reassures you - even scans give only short relief!

But if have an appointment with the recurrent mc unit (the one in Paddington, with Prof Regan?) then you will get great care, and all I've read by her is really positive about chances. (although even though she says, if you see a heartbeat a 8/9 weeks, you are 97% sure to bring a baby home at the end of the pregnancy, what you know in your head sometimes doesn't take away the fears....) I know from experience that really compassionate medical help (I got great care from the Homerton EPU in Hackney) can make a big difference, and you feel a bit less on your own.

I'm now feeling like a rabbit in the headlights about as we have the 13 wk scan on tuesday. it will bring back lots of memories of the mc, however it turns out.

anyway, sorry for going on, but wanted to let you know you aren't alone and wish you luck and peace in your heart for this journey.

love to all on the thread.

rubles · 20/08/2006 09:25

I just want to share a minor bit of positive news from me in that since passing my due date on Thursday I have had some sort of release from one of my negative ways of thinking.
Firstly I watched the beginning of big brother just to see how Davina was looking now (how big she was, what she was wearing etc) and my initial thought was 'I'd be that big now' - but then it was like a lightbulb came on and I realised that no, in theory I wouldn't be pregnant anymore, I can no longer compare myself to every pregnant woman - and it was a really nice thought!
The other thing that has happened is that the girl I was so bound up with dates-wise has still not had her baby, but strangely now that we have passed my due date my feelings have shifted and I realised this morning that now I just feel excited for her! Isn't that great?!

SKYTVADICT · 20/08/2006 09:30

Thats great rubles and must be such a relief.

I have all this to come in early October when our baby would have been due and there is a mum in DD2s class due to give birth.

I must admit though while its been so hot (a few weeks ago) I was feeling very sorry for her and thanking god it wasn't me. She was huge and the GP said it was coz it was so hot and she was retaining fluid.

I'm sure I will have a few envious thoughts though when it is born.

Have been b'ding like mad this month so roll on Wednesday (AF due)

ruthlouise · 20/08/2006 16:27

Hello everyone and welcome Uki,

It is odd isn't it, I agree with you Rubles, it does seem to be such a relief when you get past your due date. I still feel much better about it all. I still haven't been to see my friend who had her baby recently although I have sent a pressie round and emailed / phoned etc. I shall probably see her this week as her little boy will be a couple of weeks old by then. I've always felt that she would have a boy ever since Isaac died.

I'm 13 days past OV (positive OV test 14 days ago)but tested negative today. I usually only have 12/13 days from positive OV test to AF so thought AF would be here. Quite a disappointment to get BFN, guess that means AF is just delayed...Was so sure we got timing etc right this month too.It was supposed to be an early detection pg test too (from ebay).

rubles · 20/08/2006 18:51

Ruthlouise - I really hope you just tested too early. Do you take your temps? I have found over the last two months when my luteal phase has been a day longer than normal that the temps told me AF was coming but was just messing me about. Frustratinly it might just be too early for you - let's hope.

I didn't say hello and welcome to Uki. So sorry to hear what you have been through, it sounds horrible. I hope the recurrent m/c clinic comes up with some answers - let us know what they say.

Time4tea - hugs for you for Tuesday. I really hope that once you pass this milestone you'll be able to relax a bit more and enjoy the fact that you've got a baby in there.

babyfettle · 20/08/2006 19:01

Thanks Rubles for those words of encouragement, I too was looking at Davina on Friday, especially when she said she was due in 3 weeks, I thought, well so should I be. I'm not feeling anywhere near as negative about it all as I was last week (discovered it must have been bad PMT, as AF arrived yesterday, a week earlier than I'd estimated! - I've not really been paying any attention to it while DH has been away, but certainly wasn't expecting a 28 day cycle. Haven't had one of those for a couple of years!!. Kind of hope it stays at a regular 28 days, but it will mean that AF will be due just the week DH comes home for his R&R, so no chance of baby-making then, but I won't give up hope yet!

Anyway, RuthLouise, I so hope that it is a case that you tested too early - I've got everything crossed for you

Everyone else on their 2WW, still sending lots of positive thoughts - I really do hope that none of you are still on this thread by November, when I officially start TTC again (although I'll miss you all!)

Uki, take care of yourself - I hope the clinic gives you some answers.

T4T - I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday ((HUGS))

Hugs to everyone!

ruthlouise · 20/08/2006 23:18

Thanks Rubles and Babyfettle. I don't do the temping thingy! I'd be far too often jumping out of bed in the morning and forgetting to take my temp first . I really felt like AF was on her way a few days ago but nothing now - no doubt she'll sneak up on me in the middle of the night!

Oh Rubles, sorry I forgot - fruit leathers are basically pureed fruit mixtures which are spread out on non stick sheets of baking parchment then baked at low temp for about 10 hours in a dehydrator. You end up with a thin dried sheet which you roll up and cut into thin slices - Its very chewy like the fruit winders etc you can buy but without any additives. yoghurt leathers are also nice and scrummy. I'm loving my new toy at the mo and it makes me feel very virtuous and healthy so I can eat extra chocolate!! pass me the apple rings...

andi0411 · 21/08/2006 00:24

Hi ladies hope everyone's well.
Welcome to Uki- like you and t4t I had a mc recently- but i kind of thought i was going to as the scans from early had not been positive. I lost my baby at 10 weeks 2 days/ showed sac etc of 6-7 weeks. My true sympathies to you.
T4t good luck for Tues-keeping it all-'cept the legs- crossed for you!!!
RuthL- any news? Fingers crossed...
I know what you other ladies meant about due dates- mine was Xmas Day-can't wait to see how I feel about that! Also my other 2 mc due dtes come and go- only I seem to remember.
xx

Uki · 21/08/2006 08:04

Hi Everyone
Thanks for your welcomes. Hi Andi we had m/cs around the same time horible coincidence , I know what you mean about the due date and all it's hard my recent m/c due date was dh's birthday so that's not a good one either, I also thought that because it was the 16th (our lucky number) it would all be good, stupid really. Hopefully i will be pg by then and then it won't be so bad. The other thing about due dates and m/c's is that Now I have a d/s I can't remember all the due dates of previous m/c's so it does get easier when we have good experiences to take away some of the bad. I hope this happens to you all positive september here we come !!!

andi0411 · 21/08/2006 13:49

Hi ladies just thought I'd pop on and say hi!
Hi Uki- I know what you mean- I'm not sure I'd rememver all my due dates if I'd gone on to have a child-though we never forget them, they're always our babies aren't they?
cd21 today...10-11 days until test day- feeling a bit hormonal and all that. Good luck girls!! xx

ruthlouise · 21/08/2006 14:26

Hi all
well, AF arrived this morning. Tried to prepare myself but still feel a bit deflated as thought this month was our best chance. also find it hard not to blame dh with his bmi of 31 when mine is 21. I know I'll get over it, its just that initial day 1 feeling we get, glad you understand on here.
Hugs to all, sitting her typing with a thunderstorm outside, maybe should turn pc off!((((((hugs)))))

Nicola63 · 21/08/2006 14:40

Hello all, I am back from holiday. Sorry about AF ruthlouise. How is everyone? Welcome to the newcomers, you will find a lot of support here. I had a completely wonderful time on holiday (Croatian coast) and (nearly)forgot about all ttc stresses. Even enjoyed my birthday, which I had been dreading, as DH made it so lovely for me.

We BD'ed like rabbits throughout, and I am now on CD22, so of course keeping fingers crossed, but also have appointment at fertility clinic (at UCH) tomorrow.

rubles · 21/08/2006 15:16

Welcome back Nicola. I am very at you and your holiday and all your nooky and your general loved up-ness.

That's very disappointing about AF Ruthlouise - it seemed quite hopeful there. That CD1 feeling is the worst isn't it.

I have been in a fury with my GP surgery because I rang up this am to chase my referral appointment and they have lost it! I have just wasted 4 weeks so I am really annoyed, to say the least.
I now have to go for another doc's appointment tomorrow afternoon and start the ball rolling again.

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