'TTC after a miscarriage - heres to bouncing 2007 babies'

[pepperpots]

Well here is the new thread
Here is wishing everyone all the luck in the world and i hope everyone's stay is short (meant in the nicest possible way!)

Lots of sticky baby dust to everyone
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Welcome to you new ladies - no doubt you've already realised there are some wonderful people on here who will support you through this sad time - It cetainly makes the journey easier

Oinker ((((hugs))))

Thank you to everyone who has been thinking of me today. rubles, you are right, not everyone had forgotten - It just seemed like that 'cos I was feeling sorry for myself - DH of course remembered, a friend who lives away sent a card and another friend emailed.
Actually the day has been fine - I kept myself busy this morning, dehydrating fruit and garden produce, and making fruit and yoghurt leathers - scrummy. Very therapeutic and gave me lots of thinking time. thinking on the positive aspects (yes, there are some) . This might come out a bit muddled but...I know I'm very lucky to have had time to hold our son. I actually felt privileged to have the opportunity to be a mum to Isaac even for such a short time. You are a mum to your baby from the moment you conceive. I don't know what I believe about life after death but it helps me to think that we might meet again at some point in the future even though he's gone now (hope that doesn't offend anyone).
I went to the garden centre this afternoon, hoping to buy a plant in Isaacs memory but couldn't find anything 'special', but even then I came away with a sense of peace. I suppose I feel my baby is part of me whether I bought a visual reminder or not. I still think it would b nice to buy something that will flower in August but the plants were very ropey today - noy good enough for our baby .
After that I went for a cycle ride and visited a friend. We actually didn't talk about Isaac which does make me feel that it has been a kind of release and relief today.
I think it also helps a lot that i'm in a positive part of my monthly cycle - halfway through 2ww.

Love and hugs
R

RuthLouise - so good to hear you sounding positive about today . It must have been hard, but you sound so peaceful about it all. I do hope there is good news for you next week

Oinker - it does sound daunting, but at least it sounds as if there is hope.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I had a long discussion about everything with my GP today, and she is happy due to my history of successful, but difficulty conceiving to refer me to the fertility clinic asap, so hopefully the appointment will be through shortly after DH is back. Bit scary, I want to conceive naturally as I've done previously, but I don't want to go through the agony of waiting another 1-2 years of trying and then have the possibility of another mc. Any advice on going the NHS route because GP also suggested making the inital consultation on a private basis just to speed it all up? What have the rest of you done, if you've been in the same situation? Thanks for any advice

Babyfettle, my GP has referred me to the fertility clinic - he hasn't bothered doing the blood/sperm tests first it seems, unlike Janus. I was told 4 weeks ago that I would get an appointment in 4/6 weeks so I'm still waiting (impatiently). As I am only at the beginning of the road I'll let you know as things happen. My friend, who may have PCOS, seems to be having a long drawn out series of tests & everytime another appointment has to be made with the consultant for the next round of tests/diagnosis she has had to wait for a further couple of months so that seems to be a delaying factor.

Ruthlouise - thanks for letting us know how it went - I thought of you in my lunch hour. (I was having a 'moment' myself and I actually thought that you'd be fine.) It's good that you found it so positive - although as you said being in a 'good' stage of your cycle probably helps. By the way, what are fruit and yogurt leathers?

RuthL- I'm so glad the day turned out more pos than you had imagined..I think people do remember things they just don't know how to express themselves.
Rubles when I had my one and only fertility appt- prior to getting pg-then m/c- I was referred straight to fert clinic by my doc. It was there at the first appt that i had an internal/ smear/blood/ gen sex history/ prev pg etc and a pot for dp to provide sperm sample. It all seemed quite straightforward. HTH.

Ruthlouise - glad it was a peaceful day for you. You sound very at one with it all.

Rubles - DH did his tests first (requested by GP with referral to fertility clinic). Then we had our first appt around Oct/Nov last year. We got DH's result (all ok) and I was told to do bloods, day 3 and 21 and had 2 scans, one cervical probe and one with dye in the womb (Hysto-thingie - sorry can't remember name).
On 2nd appt they told me all ok with me and "it's just an unexplained infertility" and that I could do 3 rounds of IUI or 1 round of IVF. All of which had to happen before I turn 40 next year. That was in Jan. I fell pg naturally, before we'd planned to start treatment, in March. M/C in May.
Now trying for another natural pg. If that doesn't work by Oct I have another appt and will talk to them about clomid / IUI.
HTH

correction: 3 rounds of IUI AND / or 1 round IVF

RuthLouise, glad the day had its positive points. I look at it too, that we are mums for the short time we had those precious babies and are still their mums and still love them. Love is love and always worth sharing, and it continues in our hearts.

Oinker, it all sounds daunting, but none of this is easy. I lost a few stone after my ds was born (I balooned! size 20 to my utter mortification, pre-baby size 12/14 bottom!) I tried Atkins (horrible) Weightwatchers (miserable, I became entirely fixated by food in a very deranged way, felt like punching people at the meetings ) then found an absolute revelation in GI Diet. I really recommend it - you don't feel hungry, and eat healthily. I also used to have lots of problems with low blood sugar - gone entirely, and I felt brilliant and weight fell off amazingly - back to a 14. A friend with pregnancy diabetes was told to go on it by doctors, it is also good for your heart. Tempting though it might be to crash diet, you need to keep healthy and strong for the op and all that comes after. I wish you luck - losing weight is a misery at the best of times, with the time pressure having to do it before you can get your operation, even worse. But you can do it.

I've been having a miserable few days worrying about this pregnancy, it all seems so impossible, and the loss of the mc in April so real still, and the 13 week scan next week seems so far away. looking over threads on MN and reading your wise words has made such a difference. big hugs to all, and thanks again (having a little sniff here to myself..) and wishing hard for all of you for good luck

T4T try and stay positive - you're so nearly at that magic 13 week scan.

I have to admit I'm having a bad time of it at the mo, which I why I went to the GP yesterday as I was worried my depression was coming back, but think it is just because my due date is coming up in 3 weeks and I'm really missing DH, so just a bit low, not clinically depressed, but GP said to keep an eye on things. Anyway, DH is due home in 10 days for a break, but he left a message today to say that his colleague's wife has just gone into labour (we had the same due date would you believe it!) so he's rushed home to be with her (quite right too), but it means that DH's leave will probably be postponed again. Trying to tell myself that it will only be another 2 weeks we have to wait and that might coincide with ov time, as currently AF is due for the week he's home (typically - grrr!!!)

Anyway, Rubles, we went through all the initial fertility tests 3 years ago [with DH rushing the 40 miles to the fertility clinic with a bottle stuffed in a sock down his trousers!! doesn't bear thinking about!], just before we conceived DD naturally. GP says that although I've managed to get pg twice now naturally, both times took a long time [which is why mc was so utterly disappointing to think it took so long to get there, only for it not to stick]. As I only have 6-8 cycles a year, she thinks I should discuss Clomid use with specialist to try and kick-start my cycles.

Our big problem is due to the joys of military life, we are due to move to another PCT area in December, so the appointment will probably just come through and we will be moving - perhaps private is the way to go to avoid this.

Sorry for going on so long, but it is so good to have this outlet for my thoughts/moans, particularly with DH away.

I don't know If I should post here or not.

I had a mc before I had dd and ds

After the mc I was left with utering scarring so bad I couldn't bleed when I had a period. I needed surgery are hormone tratement to sort out the problems. two yearrs later I had dd, and then 3 years after that ds.

I wish you all that you wish yourself. With much love.

time4tea......

I have thought about lodsa different diets and will stick to weight watchers decision. It's just that I know lodsa people who have been on it and it has worked for them. I will do it religiously for 7 weeks and then a week b 4 my appointment will do the cabbage soup diet just to get a mega quick result. Sounds nutty but I will cary on with weight watchers. I am sounding really positive but am wandering how on earth I am going to do it. I HAVE TO DO IT!!!! I really don't have any choice.

Now for those of you that are starting down the testing route... I have been there and my expereince was this...

Got appointment at r/c m/c clinic in July 2005. Prior to appointment DH and me had to have blood tests. 2 vials for him and about 6 for me. This was for genetics, chromosone, LSH levels, don't remember the others. 6 weeks after bloods we had appointment. On that day I was scanned. They were supposed to be checking for any abnormalities. I had gotten myself p/g so that was scrapped. I thought I would be clever and that if I got there already p/g they could help.. It did not happen. I was given progesterone to aid p/g. It didn't work. I never got rescanned and was stupid enough to forget to ask them to start the procedure again. Instead, I just went off and got p/g a few more times... Needless to say it didn't work. My problems have obviousley been there a while. As a result of last d&c,Fibroids and scar tissue were found.A HSG xray confirmed this. I know need the hsyterology.

It's a long story but I really just wanted to say. Don't try and be clever and impatient like I was in 2005. It didn't work. I beleive that I have had 3 m/c needlessly. If I had done as asked by Prof and not got p/g then I would probably be p/g now. Instead, I am having to start over again.

I have been made to promise them at the hospital that I will not get p/g. Profs quote " I have met so many women like you, they say they won't fall p/g but they go away and do. Please don't!"

I really hope no-one thinks I am preaching . I am sure you guys are sensible enough to make decisions for yourselves. It is a long drawn out process but will be well worth it in the end.
Good luck ... x

martianbishop..........

that's just the kinda good news I want to hear.

Thank you x

post mc I needed surgery and a years hormonal treatment ( I had asherman's syndrome). Dh had had testicular cancer 3 years before and we were worried that he would be infertile post chemotherapy.

It took us 3 months to concieve dd and a year for ds (we were parents by then and shattered ) . Wh managed them both naturaly (dh had made a donation prior to the chemo but in the end we didn't need it)

Wishing you all the best.
Hx

Thanks MartianBishop - it is good to hear success stories!

Oinker, you're not preaching at all, that's why I posed the question about it all, as I knew that so many of us on this thread have been down this route. I can vouch for the weightwatchers route - I lost nearly 3 stone that way before I got married [put it all on plus more since then, most of which is due to excessive eating while pg and breast-feeding, but hey-ho!] Most annoying is the half-stone I put on early on in my most recent pg that I mc, as I still haven't lost that. But I found weightwatcher meetings the best way to go, I've since tried on-line version, but just don't have the motivation for it.

Just found out DH leave has to be postponed until mid to late September! Who knows what part of my cycle I'll be in then! Gosh it is so hard, but I'm feeling pretty matter of fact about it all at the moment. I can't change it, so best just get on with it

So sorry but this going to be entirely self-centred. I have my best friend staying at the mo (known her since I was 10) and she has just told me she is pregnant with number 3, she was shocked, wasn't planned, cannot really cope financially and maybe emotionally, etc. It is a terrible shock for me as she has always said they knew they 'shouldn't' have any more as they have had some very bad times with the 2 they have, very nearly splitting up. I have tried my hardest tonight to be happy for her or supportive, I suppose, as even she is shell-shocked and just coming to terms with it. In the back of my mind I'm not having good thoughts, don't want to go into them, I honestly feel sick, probably with jealousy. Don't know how to get through this really. Just needed to 'talk', sorry. x

Janus- can i say that i know how you feel. My friend is a super mum, but her relationship was rocky after 1 child and she then went on to 'fix' it with another. She falls pg just by looking at her hubby and sometimes i actually can't speak to her. It's got better as her pg has moved on but they have seperated and i just feel so jealous sometimes, then bad for feeling that way, then mad at myself etc...I want to whine about it not being fair..and I guess we can on here. xx

Blimey there has been so much going on here since I last checked.

Time4tea - don't be miserable babes - you've been so brave and positive so far - you're nearly there at your first milestone. It's going to be OK - it is, it is, it is.

Babyfettle - it does sound tough for you without dh. I started getting much more down in the month prior to due date - thinking how different the atmosphere in the house would be/how big I'd be/the sorts of things going through my mind/what I'd be unable to do etc etc. And the anticipation of the due date seems to be as bad if not worse than the day itself it seems (that's the impression I get from reading on MN). Good on you for going to the GP though, it's definately best to be watchful of these things. I don't know how I would have coped without dp to bolster me this month, so it must be particularly tough for you. Did the GP suggest anyone to talk to, to help? I rang the M/C Association this week to see if they could advise me. The woman on the end of the phone was sooooo nice and her voice was sooo warm and concerned that I started to bawl (AGAIN!) She was suggesting giving me the name of a volunteer supporter but I don't know if I could think what to say to someone, you know? But what about you? Do you think that would be something that could help you through the next few weeks until DH comes home?

Martian Bishop/Oinker - thanks for that from both of you. Did the m/c cause the uterine scarring or was it the d&c?

Oinker, it's very interesting & it is an important lesson we need to know, especially for those that get p/g really easily, to hold off even though it is counter-intuitive.
Good luck with the diet, although I think diets are evil things. It's a big job but it'll be worthwhile and you can do it girl! You've got the best motivation to keep you on track.
I have a v. good friend at the complete opposite ends of the spectrum who is anorexic and she has to put ON 2 stone in order for the fertility clinic to agree to look at ther, but is really struggling - she'll probably struggle more than you, amazingly.

Janus - you are not alone. I know the thoughts you were having, I have had them and they are not thoughts I am proud of or that I could write here. They seem unsisterly, irrational and very ungenerous but sadly I think they are very normal - it's envy basically. It's like someone else winning the lottery (well it's worse than that).
I have a woman who is v.good friends with my dp and she was due yesterday (I was to be due today so very close timing). I call her my nemesis because she is the focus of all my envy - she is, in my mind, the synthesis of all pregnant women. I don't think I have once looked at her bump. About a month ago they announced that they wanted dp to be godfather to their baby (oh joy of joys) and now she is overdue so I REALLY hope she doesn't have it today...oh boy, please no, today is MY babys' date.
As she is your best friend, do you think she'd understand if you hinted at finding it difficult because you had your m/c and now you would so much like to be pregnant yourself. It's not as if you wish her harm is it, I'm sure it's quite the opposite - you just want it to be happening to you too.

Janus - know exactly how you feel. You want to feel happy for your friends, but you just want to run away and cry.

Last night I just wanted to rant and scream about this whole bloody process. People around mr in RL fall pg at the drop of a hat, even those with PCOS and OC's (although did feel less resentment towards them as they really do have a tough time), but still that snag of dissapointment and the why them and not me. And then to top it all, my mum tells me I'm the only one in the family who's had problems conceiving. Thanks that makes me feel much better. Apparantly it's down to my lifestyle and that I like a drink - they're all bloody saints. The fact that I started later (older) than any of them and my husband works away and is only here 3 weeks out of 5 has nothing to do with it. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Sorry rant over.

rubles, I mc at 12 weeks and I needed a d and c to clear things. It was the d and c that caused the adhesions, not the mc (from what I have read about ashermans syndrome)

I was left with such large adhesions that the cervix was completly blocked, I was bleeding every month but the blood couldn't get out and I was in dreaful pain.

I had a d and c to break down the adhesions and needed an iud fitted to keep everything 'open' and stop further adhesions. I also had to take the pill to help to reline the uterus. All of this took a year and was fairly awful if I am honest.

Once the ciol was removed it too us 3 months to conceive dd and she was born 2 years to the day that I lost the first baby. She is now a wonderful 9 year old who is watching TV as I type.

I remember just how awful my feelings of loss and failure were and hope that everyone on this thread gets as happy a resolution as I did.

hugs

rubles, I mc at 12 weeks and I needed a d and c to clear things. It was the d and c that caused the adhesions, not the mc (from what I have read about ashermans syndrome)

I was left with such large adhesions that the cervix was completly blocked, I was bleeding every month but the blood couldn't get out and I was in dreaful pain.

I had a d and c to break down the adhesions and needed an iud fitted to keep everything 'open' and stop further adhesions. I also had to take the pill to help to reline the uterus. All of this took a year and was fairly awful if I am honest.

Once the ciol was removed it too us 3 months to conceive dd and she was born 2 years to the day that I lost the first baby. She is now a wonderful 9 year old who is watching TV as I type.

I remember just how awful my feelings of loss and failure were and hope that everyone on this thread gets as happy a resolution as I did.

hugs

Martianbishop sounds like you had a really awful time of it, but a happy outcome that gives us all hope.

Thanks - I know I need positive news (or maybe just a good kick in the right place )

Hey everyone, first time here, read about you guys in the paper this morning so thought I would have a little look see what it was all about. I am "TTC" after having a MC at the end of June. Not really sure how long you are supposed to wait, some people have said I should wait up to 6 months... but well that seems like a lifetime!!! Had one af, and am hoping that I might be pregnant, although have to wait another week before I can do a test. Feel a bit strange at the moment, desperately hoping that I am but dont feel like I can talk to anyone about it in case they think that I am obsessed (which I probably am). DH is of the opinion that if it happens it happens.... men eh??? Hope I have posted this in the right "room"... This is the forst time I have ever used a message board, it is so ncie to see people like me talking about things that matter, sharing advice and such like!!xxx

Dear geordie, welcome and best of luck for you, fingers crossed for the coming week.
Am much calmer now than when I posted last night! Managed to have a lovely time with BF, after getting over the shock of her pregnancy. I am worried for her as she has had such a hard time the past 2 years and the additional strain that the next year will bring for her is going to test her relationship and possibly her sanity. I'm jealous too but she would understand that so I don't even need to mention it as she will know that I am.
I am feeling very weird at the moment, been feeling horribly hungry last couple of days, having about 3 breakfasts, etc. My practical side says I can't be pregnant because I don't really think we did things at the right time but I did lose track this month. Am due at the weekend and despite saying I won't test this month I am tempted to now. Not ready for the crushing blow though. 3 days early, would you test already or just wait to see if late to save looking at that horrible negative test?

I am desperate to test... I did 4 tests last time, and one after MC to make sure it was neg so that any further tests could be relied on. If that makes sense? I am due mid next week, and have set myself a date of next Friday to do a test..I would love to do one sooner but the thought of it being negative would crush me.. plus DH and I had a huge row last time as I did tests behind his back.... so this time I got to do things right..its very easy to say try and not think about it but I know that when you are in this position it takes over your every thought. Bloody mother just told me about an 18 year old girl she works with that has found out she is 17 weeks... which is what I would be.. when I pointed this out to her she replied with "yeah well you arent"...a "at least you are getting your cat back this weekend" (long story). Anyways I digress... set yourself a date and just try and focus on it... the later the date the more accurate it will be... hopefully we will both have good news this time next week....