'TTC after a miscarriage - heres to bouncing 2007 babies'

[pepperpots]

Well here is the new thread
Here is wishing everyone all the luck in the world and i hope everyone's stay is short (meant in the nicest possible way!)

Lots of sticky baby dust to everyone
.·´ ¸.·´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
¸.·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
¸.·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
¸.·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨)
.·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
( ¸.´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
¸.·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´
·´¨) .´¯<strong>·´¯· ´¨) .·´ ¸.·´¨) ¸.·¨)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Kitty- so sorry to hear about your friends reaction to your m/c news- dispite her own fertility issues she should have been more sympathetic to you..perhaps even more so knowing how much she wanted to conceive.After my first mc i stopped telling anyone i was pg and dp and I dealt with it alone- it really was too much for us to handle..telling everyone else- I'm sure i could have got alot of support but everyone has their own way of dealing with these things. If I were you I would avoid your friend until you feel it's the right time to tell her how upset you've been- you sound like a fab friend- let her have her moment and then you 2 could talk. Only my opinion, hope it helped.

Hi Kitty- so sorry to hear about your friends reaction to your m/c news- dispite her own fertility issues she should have been more sympathetic to you..perhaps even more so knowing how much she wanted to conceive.After my first mc i stopped telling anyone i was pg and dp and I dealt with it alone- it really was too much for us to handle..telling everyone else- I'm sure i could have got alot of support but everyone has their own way of dealing with these things. If I were you I would avoid your friend until you feel it's the right time to tell her how upset you've been- you sound like a fab friend- let her have her moment and then you 2 could talk. Only my opinion, hope it helped.

oops- pc locked...sorry!!

Hi Kitty, how difficult for you with your friend. When I miscarried (start of June) I had wonderful support from a friend waiting for IVF; the person who was dreadful (without meaning to be) was my mother - just extraordinary comments. And another friend, who I had counted on to be supportive, had totally forgotten about my previous miscarriage, many years ago.
I decided I did have to tell my mother just how upset I was about her comments, which was good for me, but in a sense didn't achieve anything (she didn't really 'get' why I minded what she'd said); I'm not sure how to deal with the other not-so-helpful friend (who has since had her own, much worse, tragedy).
Sometimes I think you just have to let things go and realise that you've learned something new and not entirely welcome about these particular friends/family. Hard for you, though, as it sounds as if you don't know whether your friend is genuinely unaware of hurting you.
Do take time with all this though - even when it's an early mc it's a huge thing to go through, and if you're anything like I was, your hormones will be making everything seem even worse... Be kind to yourself. Hope this helps a little.

Well I'm back......... I have really, really missed mn..

I have sort of skimmed thru the entries from 27th July.....

CONGRATULATIONS SMOLE what a brillaint peice of news.

How is everyone? Do we have any more BFP's that I have missed?

I have had a lovely 3 week break.... Chilled out as much as i could. I am now feeling a little anxious about my hospital appointment tom. I am trying to take my mind of it by clearing up the house, unpacking and washing the clothes.
I will check in tom. to tell you what LR and team have decided for me.

))))))))))))))))))))))))HUGS(((((((((((((((((((

Welcome back Oinker! I really hope they have some 100% foolproof plan for making your body hold on to your babies.

Kitty, that's very difficult for you. For many people it seems that they have to have gone through it to understand. I can only hope that she said what she said because at the time she was feeling so very bitter/angry/stressed at her situation that she couldn't see passed that. But hopefully with things now being so much more positive for her she'll be able to see things a bit clearer and will approach you to make amends. If she doesn't I, (personally), would try and bring the subject up in the future to give her the opportunity to make amends otherwise it would run the risk of eating away at me and souring the friendship permanently.
The problem is that people really don't necessarily 'get it' with regards to the effect of miscarriages unless they are a very sensitive person or have been through it themselves.
I only told people that I was confident would react sensitively as I didn't know if I would find it easy to forgive someone saying something callous. I never told my mother, for instance, because I knew there could be trouble trusting her to understand.

My AF is doing weird things. Don't know what the f* is going on. I think my body is completely packing up - I even started worrying that I was going through the perimenopause this morning. But I think that might be a bit extreme hypochondria even for me.

Hi, Sorry to butt in on your thread.
Kitty, that's awful of your friend. Some people have no tact.
I had a m/c with my first pregnancy (since had 3 lovely children). Just after it happened DH and I were going to see his relatives abroad, with his sister tagging along. On the journey she was asking me q's about it and proceeded to tell me that she knew exactly how I was feeling because she had previously had 2 abortions.
I was upset and angry. How could the 2 be compared. I so desperately wanted my baby and she so obviously didn't want either of hers !
Not quite the same situation as you but I can sympathize with you at her lack of tact.
I hope you manage to sort things out with her.

I guess hormones do strange things to us so maybe once hers have settled down she will realise what she said wasn't called for.

Welcome back Oinker! Good luck for tomorrow.

3catstoo at what your SIL said.

hello all

welcome back oinker! there seem to be lots of us on tenterhooks waiting for appointments etc. Excuse me for lurking still, I still can't feel at home on the pg thread - it all seems so tenuous still. will keep fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

Kitty, what a shame about your friend, particularly someone you feel so close to. I had a similar problem with my best friend - not about mc, but something else quite upsetting - in the end, after I kept ruminating on it and just couldn't shake it off, I sent a very tactful letter telling why I was upset. Felt much better for just writing, then she was mortified and we sorted the whole thing out.

although its not the same, you can share how you feel with us ((( hug )))

You lot are great! Thanks for all your words of support. I keep thinking it is me that is being irrational. I am so glad I have discovered some new, shiney, fantastic friends like you who totally get how I'm feeling. WE have all been brought together by sad causes but meeting you all is one positive out of a bad situation.
Lets hope we all have positive things to look forward to. xxx

This is very introverted of me but I know you'll all understand....
Everyone in RL has forgottten as life has moved on but tomorrow would have been Isaacs due day. I know I can't replace him and I wouldn't want to but I so wish I was pg again.
There, i feel better now - kind of didn't want the day to pass without someone knowing iyswim.
Thanks for letting me offload
love to all
X

Thinking of you tomorrow RuthL on your sad day. It's true you have to have experienced this to know what it means- like most things i presume. [[hugs]]] to you.

My thoughts are with you today Ruth Louise ((((HUGS))))

Ruthlouise - not introverted at all, it's helpful for the rest of us. I want to hear how it goes for you....how you feel, what you do/don't do. Personally, I am really hoping that passing the due date brings some sort of 'release' but that might be me being naive.
Has everyone in RL really forgotten? Even your DH?

Ruthlouise - thinking of you today ((((hug))))

Oinker - good luck today. Hope you get some good news.

Smole - (rather belated) CONGRATULATIONS!

3catstoo - I'm sorry to say that yours is not the only utterly insensitive SIL. When I got pg, mine sent a gushing card saying how delighted she was that we were "allowing her to become an aunt" (she's a touch on the self-centred side). The only communication we have had from her since the mc in May is a text message to DH saying she knew exactly what I was going through because she had had an abortion in the past. I've tried to excuse it as a rather fumbled attempt at empathy, but HONESTLY!

I've not posted for ages because my head has been in such a mess. Thanks Time4tea and rubles for your words on the old thread - really helpful and I will order a copy of the book you mentioned Time4tea. I've been back to see my psychiatrist, who thinks I'm depressed but not as badly as before and has been sympathetic to me not wanting to take ADs this time because of ttc. Also been seeing my lovely therapist, and trying not to fret too much about getting pg this month. On CD21 - ov last week, but don't think the timing would have been quite right with BD this month, so AF probably due this weekend. Like I said, trying not to think about it anyway.....

hi ladies
congratulation sto you all who have had good news this month, wondered if any of u can help, i had a missed miscarriage in march and have been trying to concieve ever since without luck howlong did it take u guys after miscarriage? i have had a lot of stress since then which i think may be a problem, we have just move dto a lovely new house so im hoping new home new baby,
good luck to you all xxx

I am back and have already shed some tears after my appointment. It's just the shock of being told the outcome and intentions. The good news is that they will operate. It involves entry thru cervix. They will then remove the fibroids and scar tissue. They then insert coils to prevent the cut tissue from re-joining. This involves significant risk. Not so much to me but to my uterus and womb. If they perforate it then my chances of future p/g's are nil. As I am overweight this risk is slightly increased. They have asked me to loose 2 stone in 2 mths, which I will do even if it means starving myself!! I was weighed today and was shocked to be told that I had actually lost a kilo since my last weigh in. Not bad considering the foods and ice cream consumed on my hols. They will then slot me in for the op. Waiting time is minimal. DH is not really happy and is worried about me going into surgery. Hopefully he will come round.

well............here goes two months of strict dieting!!!!!!!

Blimey Oinker.

Hi Oinker, sorry you got upset at the appointment but you have your plan and decisions are difficult aren't they?, I can understand why your DH is worried for you and I wish you all the very very best in losing the 2st and the op.....have everything crossed for you xx

Hi Nadinetd,

I think it's different for everyone from what I've read here. Some catch within a month, others take up to 9 months, others longer still. Seems to depend on many factors, especially medical conditions, but I think stress is also one of them.
I only m/c'd in May and am still here, but trying not obsess (easier said than done)

hiya thanks for your advice
i am hoping to get prgnant before the end of the year my baby was due on our 1st wedding anniversary so oct 14th will be a sad day and a happy one. fingers crossed my best mate has just announced she is pregnant and it would be wonderful to do it together.
thanks
nadine x

Oinker - glad you got some good (if a it daunting) news.

Come and join us over on the loss half a stone by Sept thread, so we can give you some encouragement.

At least this means there's hope for you

Janus - are you around still? Have you got your appointment through yet for the fertility tests? I am waiting impatiently for mine.

Nadinetd- I mc in June and am still trying- that was my third. not meaning to depress you as most women are more fertile- so they say- post any kind of pg. Fingers crossed for us all!!! My due date was Xmas day, so i guess that day will be tinged with sadness.
Oinker- I am glad that they will at least do something for your problems but sorry it carries a risk. When you say signif risk, just how high a risk? I understand your dh's worry, but you judge the potential risks against what would happen if you didn't do it I suppose?Good luck with the weight loss- join us on the other thread....
xx

Hi rubles, am still around! I've been dragging my heels with all these tests, etc. So far I've had the swabs which I just got the results of today, all clear. I have blood tests booked for Friday, then have to get partner to do his bit (poor him!!) and if all that comes up clear then we get referred to the fertility clinic to start looking closer. I'm pretty sure everything's going to come up clear and then we will get referred. I don't know why but I keep thinking I have scaring from the miscarriage which has caused damage but I'm hoping if it is that it can get repaired. Am aware again that I should move my ass as time is stomping on and all this will take months to rectify. Am also in the back of my mind hoping we just fall anyway, heard of so many people who fall pregnant as soon as they start all the testing! AF due this weekend, have sore boobs, but seem to always have this now as I'm always looking for it!! No other symptoms so expecting AF and not thinking of testing this month. Hope your appointment comes through soon Rubles, how long have you been waiting so far?
Do you know, I read the posting about Yorkiegirl and it made me realise how lucky I already am and maybe we could get by as we are.
good luck everyone for this month.