It is a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in her thirties in possession of a ticking biological clock MUST be in want of a baybee.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

The former thread proved full of sadness and most vexatious disappointments, wherefore we know not :(. Therefore the BESH will be donning their empire dresses and enlisting the assistance of Captain Wentworth and his admirable breeches and Mr Darcy smouldering damply in his transparent white shirt both of whom with their pleasing countenances and sound judgements and enormous fortunes, in short both of whom are everything a young man ought to be in the expectation that happier times may be ahead for the BESH.

[CatsCantFlyFast]

Euro crappiest news. Sorry. Hope the next bit is as easy as some that shit can be

[Northey]

Fuck, that really is insult to injury. Well done with the bicarb though. It sounds like you've got straight onto it, which is good.

How is KFZK?

[CatsCantFlyFast]

Or alternatively that my godawful grammar makes you smirk... "as some that shit can be" WTAF? I do speak English, I promise

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

:( at all the shit. So sorry euro. I second bugs advice although the time of 2-3 days without appointments only started for me at severe expelling cramps (I worked the days leading up to it, and achually did a really important presentation the day before, which distracted me for a bit). Also my clinic helpfully explained that if you start bleeding so much that it is actually running (rather than drizzling) you need to get yourself to A&E. So keep KFZK on stand-by. As to cystitis, no need to soldier on, just get the antibiotics and some probiotics for afterwards. No need to add further insults and stuff.

What did you do with your fanjo bugs?!?

Waves to bessie and says: feel welcome when your ready!

Sorry everyone has had maudlin moments on Wednesday while I was having dinner at massively diffed friend who had 5 miscarriages for baybee 1, and then was somewhat shocked baybee 2 stuck on the first diffment

On other news my left jaw aches...

[EuroShaggleton]

Drizz if you have been using your jaw, that might mean you have been doing it wrong...

More seriously, thanks for the advice. I plan to keep going with work and stuff for as long as I can but take some time for the bad bit. I was only staffed on a huge new case last week, and it has a tight deadline, so I don't feel that I can say I'm taking a week or off whatever. I will just take what I need to. And I think keeping busy might help.

Today I just feel empty (literally). I've stopped the progesterone now, so I think it might be a bit of a hormone drop, as well as sadness at the news.

On a small positive note, the cystitis seems to have fed off the the far side of f, thankfully. I think it might have been my first ever bout of pressure cystitis rather than bacterial, so I am keeping things crossed that I won't need antibiotics this time round.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

I don't think I've done anything wrong, jawwise

Hormones are freaky things and I assure you there is no emptiness inside hope you can cope sort of okay with today. Is it possible to tell someone you trust at work that you might need to leave at short notice so they can pick up the pieces? I did call a close collegue/friend the day before the BIG presentation to get her to take over/sort out the mess if I couldn't make it. That gave me the confidence not to call it off completely. I really hope the BIG case will provide some distraction. And if and when it happens, do take time for yourself.

Btw you sound very level-headed about it all, which is awe inspiring, but it is okay if you don't stay level-headed. The hormonal upheaval combined with the loss of Barry and all the hopes pinned on him is likely to knock you badly. Take the time you need and off-load here if you feel like it. Thinking of you lots. Have a huge big hug and a lovely slice of rum-raisin-bananacake yes working from home again.

[EuroShaggleton]

Thanks for the advice. There is one person here that I can tell. She knows we have been trying and were going for IVF in Jan, but I hadn't told her it worked. She's been having a tough time herself with stress, but I know she would be supportive in any way she could.

I wasn't level headed at all a week ago. After the first scan I spent 3 days bursting into tears at random moments and generally being a complete mess. I reckon I will keep it together now until the bleeding starts and that will make it seem more real.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

That sounds very familiar. I sometimes think we cope is quite similar ways. I really hope you won't get the falling to pieces I got later, but after weeping uncontrollably for the first weekend after hearing the bad news, the bleeding stage was more coping with the inevitable, very unpleasant physical effects, rather than too much emotions. But they came and went for a long while afterwards.

Btw good to know you have at least one person you can trust. If she knows you went for IVF you can always dump the mc-I-need-to-leave news on her in one go. Just a gentle word of warning, people might well react with: but it is really good news it worked for you which it is but the last thing I wanted to hear when I was miscarrying and made me want to kill many, including my brother.

[MavisCruet176]

sorry to hear your news euro

[EuroShaggleton]

drizz oddly, at the moment, both KFZK and I feel quite positive. After more than 2 years and trying the old fashioned way, Letrozole and IUI, plus attempting conventional IVF, we have found something that works for us. Aside from EC, I didn't find the process that tough (some scans and then an extra-anxious 2ww), and it gave us a positive result, so it clearly overcomes whatever our undiagnosed ishoo is. And I don't think I will flip out as much over EC next time (although I reckon I am still likely to want to run away). I had thought for a long while that the problem must be implantation as sperm, eggs and tubes all seemed to be ok, but we got past that hurdle.

Only 4 RL friends knew about the BFP, so only they know about the mc. Plus my mum, who didn't know about the BFP before but I told last night, and she was abit rubbish, as she has been all the way through. Three of the 4 friends and my mum have had mcs themselves, so hopefully this will be a bar to trite unhelpful comments. But I will brace myself just in case.

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

Grrr, darn follicle has stalled at 15mm. They now want to see me again on Monday, sticking with the lower dose drucks till then. If they say take the trigger on Monday we should be ok, providing we get some sechs in this weekend, but if they hold it over another day or two we're going to struggle to get the timing right

In other news, I've finished my course so am now back home for the rest of the day - screw going back to the office! I've got to go food shopping and write some assignments so that will keep me busy.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

GRRR at stalling follie. They cut it down by how much? It should really be ready to pop very soon.

Good to hear you're positive and that you have supportive types with the exception of your mum around you euro. Good luck with the next bit!

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

And on other news I just got my marks for the last assignment I did for the course I am doing, and they were good so only a thesis to go now.

[EuroShaggleton]

Well done re: your courses, both of you!

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

They cut my drucks from 75 to 37.5 on Tuesday, so I had 8 days of a normal dose and will be 6 days of a half-dose. They were worried about leaving me on the full dose because I'd sprung up 12 follicles and they didn't want them all trying to mature at once.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

12 follicles Clearly you can do ULTRA-mild IVF, if you ever get that far. Shame they cut it back too so much. But that is menopur, fairly impossible to do more subtle things then half the dose. Are you polycystic? That would explain the excessive response.

Apparently with IVF they'd only start me on 150units, when I produce two follies on 75-100. Oh well, cross that bridge when we come to it.

I have just been to the market and treated myself to flowers and nice dinner. Sadly I am pretty much ready for sleep now...

PS Well done on your course too.

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

Yeah, "skinny PCOS" which is an indicator of potential for hyper stimulation. The nurse said I'd be a good candidate for IVF on that basis.

[Casserole]

Oh Euro I am so sorry to read the update.
Thinking of you.

[EuroShaggleton]

Thanks Cass.

[Northey]

Any news, euro? I started bleeding about 36 hours after stopping pessaries, if that is anything to go by. What are you doing this weekend?

[Northey]

frank, what a fine crop of follicles! Bugger that the growth stalled.

[maamalady]

Well done and arrgh, Frank! Impressive fortitude, euro, long may it last.

Today I went with friends to visit recently-widowed friend. All well, though I was the only childless person there (even widow had her DD and GC). Therefore subsequent Facebook entries listed mums plus kids and me on my own, and a couple of rather nice photos of me reading picture books with one-year-olds. Both these things have reduced me to tears, which must surely mean droidal invasion is imminent (due on Tues, but it's mothers day on Sunday, so I'm bound to come on then, as per last year). FFS. Does anyone have a grip they can lend me?

[EuroShaggleton]

No sign yet, Norf. But I took my last pessary yesterday morning so my body won't have started missing it until late last night, so it is early days. I've been to see my acu lady this evening and she twiddled lots of expelling points so hopefully that will help. When I took the pessaries on my Letrozole cycle I think it was 3 days before I started bleeding, but I would have had some natural progesterone floating around then too. I've had the odd light cramp today, so hopefully something will move soon.

Draf sorry, I'm all out of grips. I'm planning to take to my bed on Sunday - how very feme appropriate - and refuse to leave until it is all over. Sods law says that is when I will start bleeding too.

Do you all have nice weekend plans? A little riding? A country dance, perchance?

[MavisCruet176]

a country dance you say, that sounds most jolly...alas I am not sure that I have an appropriate frock

[Northey]

I have to share with you an Austen quote most apposite to the thread which I have just uncovered. "I am not fond of the idea of my shrubberies being always approachable." Is it not excellent? Alas, I could not think how to work it in naturally.

I shall take a turn about the village today, to call on the physician and hand in some ivf paperwork and my sharps bin, if they will take it. And then I must devote myself to study (by which I mean a shed load of work).