TTC for 10+ months, part 9

[akuabadoll]

Ladies, number 9. The lucky one.

thanks for starting us off doll. Yes, 9 is so much luckier than 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 or 8

May this thread be full of BFPs.

Doll Oh hugs about birthday milestone, they are pants. I second what carebear says about age is a number. Forget the bollocks about you are only as old as the man you are feeling, actually we are only as old as our ovaries
You won't be last on here. I used to think that and imagined sweeping up and turning the lights off! We will all get there. I wonder whether we should have a general 10 plussers thread for grads and TTC'ers because it is a shame that we lose people from here.

Is it bad to feel a bit upset that I didn't get a Part 8 BFP....I was so convinced that "8" was the lucky number

The last thread was a little too light on BFPs for my liking.

doll I totally agree with pout, age is a number nothing more. There is no cliff edge. I fear that I'll be the last on this thread, I joined the first one. I can't ever see me graduating and I worry that I'll be all alone in my barrenness. 10 months seems like no time at all to me now. 2 years is so long.

Pout sweeping up and turning the lights off! Now that will stick with me, turning neatly back you your comment on housework at the arse end of 8. I have seen stuff on natural 2ww limits for exercise, mainly crazy hippy stuff or for high impact exercise. Perhaps the IVF prep extra attention is purely a case of more at stake? Makes me wonder what housework consists of chez Zita.

Thanks to care and pout for their youthful thoughts. pout are you telling me I should loss the 19 year old boyfriend?

ladygee got a BFP on 8 . What's annoying is that it wasn't all of us.

MrsD that link made scary reading for me let alone MrN.

Loss, perhaps loose?

doll don't lose the 19 year old just share!

Hi Ladies, can I join since it is a new and fresh thread?
We've been ttc for a year, I had a scan in Feb/March (as part of routine gynae appointment - private healthcare overseas) which showed I have polycystic ovaries and as I was having very irregular cycles the Dr thought I was probably not ovulating. So, I'm on month three of ovulation stimulation (clomid x1, letrozole x2, changed as had thin uterine lining on clomid, a recognised side effect).
I have ovulated (on scan and progesterone bloods) each time, so it is a bit disheartening that I'm still not upduffed... DH has 'supersperm' it makes him very happy that his count, motility etc is all good (phew!).

If this month is unsuccessful (CD17 today) then I'm looking at laparoscopy and tube assessment in September. Private health care does make it all much more streamlined than NHS, I'm very grateful that we have it with work.

I agree about age just being a number (I'm 34 so maybe I would feel that way!)
9 has never been a lucky number for me - but I'm prepared to change

mellow welcome. You overseas? There are a few of us here who are (four I think..)

Oh that reminds me, wonder how critter is? She's got our very best weather

Hello mellow, may your stay here be short!

Good plan with the sharing pout.

Yes, we're working overseas for the moment- having a fabulous time, would be great place to have a baby - oh well! Nearly all of my friends at home are pregnant or with small children - it is very upsetting, but I console myself that it would be much worse if we were at home and had to see them all the time!

Just been reading the last few pages of the previous thread about whether to have IVF or not. I'd always assumed we would at least try one cycle, but DH and I have been discussing it recently and I think we have a few more chats to have. I think if there's a 'reason' that I'm not getting pregnant - blocked tube/endometriosis or something that they're 'treating' or 'fixing' then we will definitely go ahead. But feel a bit wary if there is no known reason for not getting pregnant - don't quite know why! I think I'd have to go down the immune investigation route and think further first. We do feel a little like there are lots of 'unwanted' children who need homes -either through fostering or adoption and our plan had always been to have a couple of our own, then adopt/foster a couple more (the best laid plans and all that... ) so if we have unexplained infertility, then I think we will consider not having IVF. But we both desperately want children, have talked about it since we first met, and I think that hope and dream is very hard to put to one side .

btw, I too dislike FC and can't believe she's pregnant - added to my list of unfair pregnant people I know....

mellow I see you are familiar with our fairness scale .

That's an interesting view on IVF. I too am unexplained, other than general ancient ness. However I was saying to MrN nothing else about me seemed old. I've no very few wrinkles, nothing sagging, and still feel full of energy. Not even any grey hair because I dye those .

But there could be endless little issues. Hostile CM or slightly dodgy eggs or cold uterus or whatever. For me, IVF at least removes many of the potential obstacles. I am choosing to put aside my desire to know what's wrong, but perhaps I'll think again after round 1

You ladies have all been busy over the last day or two! I've just been catching up on the end of the last thread as well as this new one. I don't have time to name check everyone now, but rest assured, I have found you!

Welcome mrsmellow.

Thanks for the welcome euro and everyone!
muddy when push comes to shove, I don't know what we'll do - I think partly it feels scary and admitting defeat to be facing IVF and maybe we're just not ready.
I have a few friends who've had IVF - successfully and unsuccessfully and it just seems like such a tough thing to do. In a way, if we were to do it, we should try to do it here before coming back to the UK - it would be cheaper, no waiting lists etc, but . I've still got my head in the sand and hoping we won't need to. I guess that's another bridge we'll cross when/if we come to it.
Has anyone read the inconceivable by Ben Elton? - I kind of promised myself and DH I wouldn't become obsessed... and yet, here I am!

I'm marking my place as on the move and can't do proper post, been so busy today on here! I have a good feeling in my waters about thread number 9. 9 is a very conception number, surely. As stats keeper I can tell you that since July 2011 there has been, by my reckoning, thirteen grads. The one a month statistic lives on and doesn't sound too bad at all put like that. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. No af my end, 14 dpo. I'm going to jump up and down and force it out. I know it's coming, I just want it to get a move on. I'm on holidays for the next few days and was hoping it would be on it's way out. Ah well, mother nature is a big old cow.

Hello lovely ladies,

After saying I'd stay on the thread for a while, I've been lurking but feeling a bit weird about chipping in. Have also had my head in the sand going mental waiting for the scan this morning as I'd convinced myself there was no way anything could have made it's way through the mess that is the inside of my tubes and ended up in the right place. Anyway, it turns out it has and all is well. I still can't really believe it, and there's a long way to go, but for now we're off to a good start.

These past two years have changed me in so many ways and I'll never forget how much help, wise words and support - as well as much needed giggles - you've all given me along the way. Genuinely not sure how I would have got past the last 12 months without you all.

I will continue to lurk and will be thinking of you all, especially as so many of you move on to the next stages in the next month or so. Fingers crossed for those in the 2WW. Here?s to lucky thread number 9

rabbit Mr B showed me his scar, slightly covered by his body rug now, he has a big lump next to it which he worries about but after examining some of my scars they do get better

mrsd fb can be evil at times

artemis its difficult when they don't communicate, that was how Mr B was. I try to stay calm and keep to the facts, it took some time for him to get on board but after a few mega diva strops, chucking pee sticks etc around the room he has finally woken up to the situation, I also pretty much tell him what is going to happen but in a nice way, perhaps if he wrote things down, might be easier than talking about it face to face,

lemon my acu kept going on about my cold uterus, well 5.5 months with them it didn't warm up and I always have cold feet and got updiffed twice last year

princess what a stupid cow the stork is

sarlat have a lovely week

care a break from work would be great but the problems there are not going to change so it would only be a short reprieve before it is back to the way it is now then i'll need another break from it, they are also paying more attention to how much sick leave you have and how it affects your performance at work , I did say if morale was better there would be less sickness. Occ health already know what is going on with me

mellow welcome, I thought clomid was supposed to be good for lining?? I'm sure I was told I would be prescribed that on the nhs before they realised I was a dinosaur and beyond help, i'm on progynova to improve my lining

thank you ladies for your support, feeling a little calmer today, Mr B has done his second SA and its not much better so onto IUI hopefully this week or straight onto IVF depending on what they recommend, I think IUI perhaps, Mr S did say he could send Mr B to see a urologist but I'm not sure what good that would do as Mr B lives a good lifestyle no excessive drinking, no smoking, eats well exercises, so who knows why they have deteriorated so much but i'm over the shagging au naturale (plus there is the cost of the urologist and to sound totally selfish I would more rather use the money for IUI)
I honestly think we both so fed up with it all that we both feel that IUI(him wanking into a cup in the toilet, me with strangers looking up my chuff) will be much more enjoyable than shag week, Mr B is more optimistic about it happening than I am
work is very stressful and I just got to the stage yesterday where I felt physically sick about it all, I've had a couple of pregnancy announcements but they are from girls who have miscarried so its good that they are moving on.

Well hello lucky Thread No. 9... fingers crossed. Again. I guess one BFP a month is not a bad statistic. How many of us are on here again?

Ladygee that's terrific news on your scan, do lurk and keep us updated from time to time. I miss the grads when they go

Pout at turning the lights out and sweeping up... I too imagine that will be me. I think we probably all do. Did you give in to the Nutella?

Nelly I'm annoyed by the ancientness thing too. I don't look that ancient wishful thinking. I am fitter and probably healthier than I was 10 or even 20 years ago. And I haven't yet given in to the need to dye my hair yanks out another grey with the tweezers. I'm also interested in the fathers smoking thing. My MC was before Mr A had given up. It took him years, despite or maybe because of my continual nagging. Even though it's almost a year since he quit, he can't get off the nicotine patches weak willed fool and I don't know whether the evil of tobacco is due to the nicotine or the other million dangerous chemicals but would like to find out. I can't see one fag a day cutting your chances significantly but still, none is better than one especially if you are doing, and paying for, IVF. And especially if it adds to the stress.

Lemon I'm another one with cold feet. Ridiculously cold. The acu thought it was significant but didn't manage to improve it. I had no idea that had a bearing on my chilly barren womb.

Welcome Mellow. I mentioned Inconceivable to Mr A and he went and bought me a copy so it's next on my pile after I've finished reading Neil Gaiman's American Gods, which is terrific by the way.

Buzzy clomid can thin your lining and also affects EWCM. I never had much of that in the first place but none at all on clomid. In the new NICE guidelines they no longer recommend it for unexplained cases. and at IUI being better than shag week. I've had those thoughts myself from time to time. Sounds like you need to move on with the interventions and take the pressure off your relationship a bit. I'm sorry you're feeling the hormonal miseries still. Sending you a and a hug.

Sarlat have a lovely holiday. I prescribe lots of cocktails, wine and smelly French cheese. Was it you who suggested another meet in Sept/Oct? I would be up for that.

Akuaba I worry about success rates for IVF too particularly given the cost, though I am a bit suspicious of stats because they hide so much. I'm sure you've seen the NHS Choices site, it has the basics and some links. HFEA is supposed to be the most trustworthy provider of stats in the UK but because of the time taken to process them they are out of date. But yes, partly its the 'tried and failed' vs 'chose not to' dilemma. I worry that if I try I'll end up doing cycle after cycle in the hope that 'one more go' will do it and bankrupt myself in the process. However we have one free chance on the NHS so I guess I will at least do that, particularly considering my last tax bill . All the pre-IVF advice i have seen seems designed to suck all the joy out of life. I'm another one for lush corner. I'm not a heavy drinker but I do like the occasional

Rabbit 14 dpo? Fingers crossed for you. But even if it's not your month it's great that your cycle has gone back to a sensible length.

Care thanks for the talking advice. I think facts and timescales will play better with my DH as well. He certainly can't cope when I get upset.

Care and Mrsden despite me being so vile about Cotton (can they get you for libel on MN?) her diffedness doesn't actually bother me. She's not a contemporary of mine I'm too bloody old, I've just always thought she was utterly tedious. The ones that piss me off are the likes of Kate Moss who has a dreadful lifestyle but still managed to get diffed and didn't let having a child interfere with her partying one bit. I find it bizarre that people buy her perfume. I imagine a noxious blend of fag ash, cocaine sweat and wee.

MrA is out tonight so I have the evening to myself

Thanks for starting the thread doll. Lucky number 9 hurrah ...[trying not to remember that I thought threads 1 & 2 would have been lucky for moi].

buzzzy - I am sorry about how crap you have been feeling. It's bad enough without having to deal with preggy announcements and other people's babies especially bitch boss. Glad you are feeling a little perkier today.

sarlat - have a fab holiday!

bunny - thanks for clearing up the adoption myths. I am sure you are right. There are so many scare stories out there and you do wonder what's true and what's not.

doll - 2 fingers up to birthdays. i don't think i have faith ivf will work for me either. That's my negativity speaking and self preservation. Having said that I will go through with it just purely so I know i have tried every possible thing.

mrsden - thanks for the link and the story about your distant relative. Like you I'm not at that stage yet but it does cross my mind a lot.

care - i need to get some lessons from you on the poker face. I'm afraid my face says it all when ever I'm questioned about kids. Also, where did you get your antibs for from your Greek prescription? The place i have emailed said they require Serum to email and then send the prescription.

ladyg - great to hear from you and great that all is looking good. You must be so relieved. And you must keep us updated and when you're on the other side, i.e. with your baby, you'll have to inform us whether it's all that . Would love to know whether you just forget all the misery.

Welcome mrsmellow - sorry you find yourself here. i hope the ovulation stimulation does the trick though .

Right boom boom to thread 9. Come on fertility gods. time you used that finger. and we haven't had anyone who has been trying for over 2 years get a bfp yet so it is time now!

artemis I just find it interesting that clomid can do both, they certainly told me here in faux surrey that is what the nhs would give me for my lining although so far i'm happy with the progynova, my ewcm just disappeared but Mr S isn't worried so neither am I. I wouldn't say our relationship is under pressure it just gets a bit boring having to organise when is the best time to have sex instead of just doing it for fun.

joycep the 2 announcements were from women who have miscarried so I don't mind they are both well deserved :)

buzzy Mr euro's results also deteriorated. I think the stress of ttc is to blame, tbh. Certainly there was no deterioration in lifestyle.

Clomid is notorious for thinning the lining. It's one of the reasons some gynaes prefer Letrozole.

We found IUI quite a relief as well (apart from when we were both horny and had to abstain). We referred to it as outsourcing and decided that we now had staff for everything. We pay people to do our cleaning and ironing, why not to inseminate? There's a bit of a joke in our industry that bad supervisors leave work for you with a post it note stuck on it saying "please deal". I dared Mr euro to write that on his pot of spaff.... Thinking of it that way gave us a giggle and you have to get your laughs where you can with ttc.

I'm another person with cold feet. I think we found a while back that a lot of us have Raynaud's too?

I looked for Inconceivable in the bookshop when I started IVF and was about to order it online when I stopped the cycle.

joycep I didn't have any faith in IVF working for me. That was one of the things I struggled with. No one could tell me why it might work for unexplained cases, only that sometimes it does.

euro at 'please deal' i'm hoping IUI can be done this month, I think its more the stress of work than TTC, he has been looking for a permanent job for the last 2.7 years and has to travel for 3 hours a day round trip. I do think the massive weight loss has also had an affect on his health, Mr B did say its a pity he never did a sample last year to compare it to, can I ask how long Mr Euro abstained for?? I just want to get on with it now I started on SO in March so i'm coming to the end of it.

I've been out drinking again . Just saying.

However I'm seeking solace as my 40 week pregnant SIL was out (not drinking!) and they repeated the story of how easy it was to get pregnant. Haha.

Fuckers.

Love 'please deal' - feel like there are other things we could outsource in our lives...
I too have cold feet - as does DH. And Raynauds.. shit, its all adding up to an immune diagnosis isn't it
muddy I had WAY too much wine last night - work dinner, sometimes the only way to survive sitting between two bosses - I refuse to stop drinking until I get a bfp - it would have been a particularly dull year and felt like 10yrs if I had stopped sooner. I don't get wasted too old anyway but certainly had lots more than 2 glasses
I too need help with the poker face - lost mine when a colleague was giving out about being worried that his wife was pregnant, by accident, for the third time (they have beautiful 4yrold and 1yr old, both pregnant 1st month of trying )

Bonjour Mesdames! I'm back from hols and the lovely, lovely sunshine and wine! Have had a quick read of the Freds but don't have a hope in hell of catching up properly!

OMG ladyg! I am soooo thrilled for you. What wonderful news. I hope it has now sunk in and that you are beginning to enjoy it. And thank fuck the big finger has finally got itself together!

I think princess and sar are currently frolicking on beaches in their play suits. Hope you both have a great time. I've been v impressed with the don't give a shit attitudes of you both and wish I could get myself some of it!

Welcome back artemis. Mr gin is exactly the same as mr a with regards to glazing over and changing the subject with regards to ivf. Unbelievable seeing that we've actually done it! He says talking about it makes him feel worse which is a bit crap, as talking about it makes me feel better! As the ivf counsellor said both are valid approaches, hmmm. Annoying male approach more like!

buzzy so sorry you are feeling so down. Are you in throes of pmt hormones, or is this different? I do feel for you. As others have said time out may well help. Insensitive comments and preggos at work certainly don't help. Big hugs.

I was horrified by mil comment mrsd. You are barely above the average having a baby age. I can't bear the assumption that it's my fault that we waited until our mid 30s to have kids and that's why we're struggling and will end up with a downs baybee. I've made it v clear to those who know about our long term ttc that our issues are nothing to do with age. And if they were, so what?! Not everyone is in a position to sprog ASAP. Anyway hope there haven't been any more foot in mouth incidents!

Have been finding the ivf vs adoption chat interesting doll. Like mrsd, if we want a biological child, we have to have it. In a way it's not really a decision. Having said that, if all else fails we will adopt and the way you talk about your ds really does make me think we could do it and it's a real option. I know we'd have a long wait for a young child, but would be willing to do so. Or maybe I'll make my sister have one for me!

joy thanks so much for the book. It's actually pretty good, although has convinced me that agrc would be the solution

pout are you in the 2ww for your triplets? I've lost track of things!

So pleased your kitty came back missm. I go a bit menkul when anything happens to my fur baby. She truly is a surrogate child. Oh and hope you have a fab hols too! Maybe niagra has special fertility powers?!

How are you doing care? You have been so calm, I've been so impressed! I'd have done several hpt by now. Fx there's no sign of ertd. I really hope this round works out for you.

lemons hope your 2ww is going well too.

nelly your consultant sounded a bit of a twat! We hope to cycle in oct, so we can do some hand holding/mentalling together.

rabbit pleased to hear your cycle seems to be righting itself and putting 2 fingers up to that consultant. Does make you worry about what they know.

Welcome mellow! I've just read the Ben Elton book. It was really good and made me cackle a lot, like a mad lady on the train.

at jizz talk and masterbatorium. And 'please deal' euro.

Big waves and luffs to everyone else.

Holidays was great and just what I needed. No swi (I left mr gin at home), not a single preggo sighting the whole time and only one awkward when are you having kids interrogation! at no wine 3 months before ivf. I was told none during ivf and no caffine etc - basically act as though pregnant. I can't see how having preceding months alcohol free could help, as eggs, womb lining etc all develop within one month? Well I'm certainly drinking this month - I'm not having a dry birthday - but will cut down in sept.

Btw, do other people hate baby showers? I've been invited to one that I thankfully can't make. I hated them before we were ttc - let the ladies sit around drinking tea and talking about babies whilst the men go to the pub. They also seen a bit premature and ffs at showering the 'baby' with gifts.. And totally horrific for a long term ttcer/ivfer. Urgh, sorry, rant over!