Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

[Ellypoo]

Hoping this thread brings us all luck and hope xxx

blizy I have everything crossed for you. i so wish it is your month I'm sending out good vibes and positivness to the ether.

Hi Ladies!
Hello to everyone! I'm just new here and still can't navigate the threads.
I just lost my precious baby girl Isabel 4 weeks ago. She was born sleeping at 39weeks gestation. I'm not yet ttc...but I really do hope I get to this point sometime this year. I'm also 40 years old.
I just want to get to a thread where I could share my story and get some helpful advise to get through my grief. Can anyone please point me to the appropriate thread or place here in mums net.
Good luck to all you mummies trying for rainbow babies!

So sorry to hear about your darling Isabel. If you want to start a thread to tell her story there is a bereavement section in Body and Soul topic. Or there is a long running thread in bereavement full of bereaved mummies entitled 'Love like starlight never dies'

Gentle hugs to you I remember the dark early days so well xx

Sorry to hear about your loss Isabel I ce found this thread to be the most supportive & helpful to help me through my grief & subsequent pregnancy. I lost my darling Georgie at 41 weeks gestation on 10/10/10. I ve since had my rainbow baby : Phoebe who's now 8 months old. I was 39 when I had Georgie & 40 when I had Phebs. Take care xxx
Oh , there's an " older birds" ttc thread on conception " fabulous forties ttc" ..
Take care xxxxx

Didn t mean that to sound flippant Isabelsmum meant when you re ready ttc. Obviously , now you re still in the first stages of grief. Hope u ve got plenty of support & help( it's my sleep deprived brain) xxxx

Thanks whatevertheweather! I've visited the thread and looks like there's lots of lovely Angelmummies there that are really supportive.
Thanks AngelGeorgie and no worries...I am after all in the ttc thread :) I wish I'm in the same stage with you ladies in here. But it is still early for me to ttc & I cant feel like I can move forward until I get the result of Isabel's autopsy.
I know in time I will be where you lovely ladies are now.
Big hugs!

I hate teething with a passion my gorgeous little girl has been replaced by a clingy, whinge bag.... So tired she didn t sleep to 12 last night then awake again at 02.15 it's killing us ....

Oh no angel, are you working today? It's torture being do tired! Hope you are all ok.

Isabelmama- I am so sorry to hear of your loss. 4 weeks is still very early, take things as they come at your own pace. We will be here waiting for you when you are ready.
My Zoe was still born at 41 weeks last feb, we started ttc 3 months after, but that was right for us. Take care if yourself. X

isabelmamma words can not express your loss or pain for the death of your little one. It is a tear out of your heart. My daughter Ophelia was stillborn at 36 weeks 14 months ago, we started ttc straight away it just felt right for us. We are still trting after two miscarriages this past year.
When you are ready we will be here to hold your hand through it.
Take care.

This time 10 months ago we woke up not knowing our lives would change forever in less than 12 hours. Can't believe we're in to double figures already. Feels weird to be counting down to Erin's 1st birthday and this little one's birth day. I miss her so much.

Isabelmamma, I'm so sorry to hear about your little girl. My daughter, Merryn, died 9 weeks ago at 6 days old. I came onto this thread straight away, as thinking about being pregnant again, and hearing from ladies who had been through such huge loss themselves then gone on to have their rainbow babies was just what I needed. These ladies are wonderfully supportive and exceptionally brave, and they put up with my rants too! They let me know it was normal to think about ttc as soon as possible, and that's what we are doing. I will never stop missing Merryn, but I am desperate to have another baby. (i am 39). I think whatever feels right for you is ok. The early weeks are a nightmare, but it eases a little, even by ten weeks I don't feel as I did to begin with, although it's still very very painful.

My older DS is going for his op tommorow at 12. My DS is going to work that afternoon, so will not be at the hospital, which I think is for the best. He found it much harder than me yesterday, and I think if I'm on my own with DS I will be able to click more easily into 'mother who can cope with anything' mode. I'll probably be a wreck by the evening though! Thanks for all your well wishes everyone! I realise it's not anything like with Merryn, I'm just a bit off hospitals right now!

Blizy I was suppose to be working but spoke to my fab manager & took AL today. Been to the gym had a lovely swim etc... Nice lunch from Mossys , reading now before fat club. A lovely day ( I ll worry about using all my AL at a later date!!!!)
Whatever time goes so quickly doesn t it???? Many hugs & much love to u xxxx

Half my post got eaten!

Blizy.... Fingers crossed for you! Do you resist testing? ( I'm rubbish and poas way too early).

Whatever.... 10 months must feel like no time and forever. Things change so quickly. Thinking of you x

Hope all poorly little and big ones feel better soon. X

angel thats good you had the day off, and sounds like you made the most of it!

green I don't test until/if AF is late, it gets soul destroying seeing all those bfn's. I hope you are ok?

wtw hugs.x

My spotting seems to be getting heavier so I guess my perios is just coming early.

Had s rubbish night sleep with E, so went back to doctor this morning, she has an ear infection and is back on antibiotics :(
We've all been taking it easy today, she's been sleeping for a good 2 hours this afternoon.

Isabelmamma so sorry you had to find us here, you are very welcome at whatever stage of ttc or not yet ttc. I think I joined this group quite quickly after loosing DD2 Sterre last year in June, as it was a group of full of hope, people who had gone through similar situations, but looking forward to the future.

green will be thinking of you and your family when your DS goes for his operation! x

wtw hugs for you my love, it is so difficult the build up to a first birthday specially whilst pregnant! we're here to hold your hand all the way! x

Angel glad you were able to take a day off! poor Phebs! x I'm enjoying my sick leave as well, doing nothing all day, just relaxing and time to watch Wimbledon :)

Poor E Blue hope the AB's do the trick quickly. She's had a really rough few days - as have you! Glad you're enjoying having some time off work.

Blizy really hope it's not AF xxx

Sounds like a good day off Angel and mu ch needed. Teething really does suck. Although it makes me wonder why does it hurt so much to grow milk teeth but adult teeth seem to come through with no pain? I asked K if her 2 big teeth were hurting and she said she couldn't feel them at all. Strange.

Will be thinking of you and DS tomorrow green All will be well and you can spoil him rotten after!

Mias Fan August Spilt Too Elly Trickle how are you all?

Found today really hard - the conflict between wanting Erin back so badly but then feeling like by wishing Erin back I'm being disloyal to this little one. Went to the cemetery and made sure that was all looking nice though and K made her a daisy chain. Council had promised to level and grass seed it about a month ago but it's still not done so will have to ring and chase them tomorrow as I want it looking nice by her birthday.

wtw time feels so cruel doesn't it, it makes us feel futher away from our angels. How close are the dates?

angel I hope Phebs starts to feel better soon, so you can all get some rest.

blizy I so hope this isn't AF for you. How os DH's work schedule working out for the rest of the year?

green I will be holding your hand tomorrow, you brave mummy! I would be the same I think, DH always manages to make me more emotional by being there, my mum has the same effect on me. I hope everything goes smoothly, for your brave DS.

I'm in the limbo week after AF and before ov week. Have to build up slowly to ov otherwise DH gets a bit bored or freaked out! Men!

wtw bloody council! Lol. Have a go at them and if you get nowhere tell me and I shall chase it up with the guys who do it. I'll tell them they owe me a favour.

Bless you fan thank you. It's strange as I actually spoke to the guy who does it at the cemetery when I saw him there doing another plot and he promised he would do it. Must have just forgotten.

Wtw- huge hugs for you. X

Green- I will be thinking of you and ds tomorrow, I am here holding your hand.x

Fan- Dh is working in Glasgow for a couple of months!.
Pace yourself girl, stead and slow!

I really think this is af, spotting now visible on a pad! Why does this have to be so confusing, I'm not due until thurs/fri. That would make luteal phase only 10 days this month!

wtw was it an older guy or a younger one? If you see them there again mention my name and then they might not forget next time.

blizy excellant news! About DH working, really hoping its not AF for you.

Late forties/early fifties Fan

Isabelmama so sorry your here with us, I lost Sproglet Feb 2010 at 42 weeks, no reason but didn't start ttc for nearly two years, everyone is different and it's so personal 4 weeks is so long and so soon too.

Angel sounds like a good day off :)

Green don't know what to say, sometimes it feels like it all comes at once and there is no choice but just to deal with it - even when you just can't, will be thinking of you.

wtw I'm forever feeling like that and I hate comparing anything this baby does to Sproglet - I don't want to do it, it's not fair to this baby but I just can't help it.

FX for those BFP's

Apolorgies for the following essay

As for me I've had an exceptionally shitty weekend - after having the bejesus scared out of me wednesday at the scan I couldn't feel much movement Sat eve through to Sunday morning. I ended up on the ward being monitored - everything was fine, but I missed too much of my training to continue to do the volunteering course. I'm basically stuck doing nothing again - I was really getting on well and they really want me as I seem to be quite a good fit for the organisation and it would have made me feel less of a 'benefit breeder' but nevermind Tiddler is fine and that really is important. One of the problems is they keep telling me how important it is to monitor movement but becasue of where the placenta is I can't bloomin feel it quite a lot of the time - it's a nigh on impossible task and just makes everything so much more stressful.

HOWEVER at scan today baby is sat on the umbilical cord, there is no problem with the cord just a stubborn baby apparently. That is the good news - the bad news is that there is an abnormality in Tiddler's brain, agenisis of the corpus collosam - it seems to be the bit that separates the two hemispheres and helps them communicate. You can be totally fine and have no problems, or you can have learning disabilities and developmental delay with behavioural problems. The wierd thing is that it can only be disrupted between 6 and 13 weeks, it cannot disappear - but it has, there is evidence it was there at the 20 week scan. So sometime in the next week we need to hop on a train and go to Sheffield to get an MRI of the babies brain - it's a specialist procedure and part of a research study, but the consultant sonographer (who is literally in the process of rewriting the book on these brain abnormalities) has never seen anything like it before including the way the structural abnormality is showing up! Nothing is ever easy - but we don't seem to care, no pre-term delivery, no NICU/SCBU - which can lead to problems with development anyway, and without today's scan we would never have known anyway.

wtw his name is Matt. If that helps at all. Keep me updated.

trickle I know how difficult it is to not be able to feel the baby that much, my fibroids make it impossible too. Fx for the scan I hope tiddler is ok.