The BESH Republic Of Rulvakia

[queenrollo]

Welcome to The BESH Republic Of Rulvakia. The national drink is of course gin, state funded to get you into a state. We have many traditions and customs, such as sechsing, swearing for the fun of it (optional) and urinating on little white sticks.
Enemy of the state is Droid, who must be heckled heartily should it put in an appearance. There is an ongoing lottery to win a baybee, being granted citizenship of The Republic is your ticket to the lottery.

As a democracy all members are entitled to put forward any customs or rules they would like and we can all adopt important but silly titles if we like. See the George Carlin sketch about hats and religion and make your own mind up about whether you would like a ceremonial hat to accompany whichever title/role you bestow upon yourself.

Newcomers should find and complete the BESHtionnaire so we can make sure you are cynical and non-fluffy enough to be granted Citizenship.

Hi humps. You are most welcome. But if the answer to fifi's question is "Two whole cycles, and I'm really worried, because last time I got pregnant from lying in the wet patch 14 whole days after stopping the pill..." then you might just want to make up something to say instead...

You are my age twin :)

Truthfully...not long enough to earn my stripes.

Am hopeful that a mitigating factor in your deliberations will be my total lack of RL outlets

Would normally lean on amazing RL BF but she's had the most vile time with an unsuccessful pregnancy this year so am totes going it alone. Hoping I can still indulge in entirely inappropriate and graphic snot watch here in your well established nation...?

More hirsute than Puss?

That's a little alarming, but god knows I love that ball of fluff, so I say you're in. After being thrown off a previous baby dust tastic forum I think you're a kindred spirit to the ESH.

You must make up for your lack of years months TTC by providing the gin and cream cakes.

Mines the eclair and a gin fizz. Ta.

I'll have wot sinky's having. How you feeling sinky?

I hope bugs and euro are ok today.

Ok. Im back with my body weight in gin and cakes. Stay where you are ladies, will bring them round on my little tray.

bugs here have an extra cake seeing as though you're gin-less. Massive congrats on winning a babybee! Hope you're not feeling too shit. IMO first 12 weeks are just shite. Very scary. No clue what's happening in there. Feel increasingly tired and broken and can't even tell anyone. Grim. But only temporary. When is the next scan?

sinking body hair would be pretty alarming if allowed to grow unchecked. I blame my Italian roots. My ancestors are a bloody hairy bunch. Am currently IPLing it. Absolutely awesome invention.

faif talk to me about civilised camping. HY is wild about the idea of camping but I have always said a flat no. Maybe with a toilet and leccy it might be bearable.... Also do you own said camper van???

Hello Camel Newbie - nice to see some fresh meat welcome additions in here.

I visit here under sufferance only as I am currently diffed with number 1. The BESH's have been marvellous at offering pant snot advice and general menkulling support.

The said camper van is a source of contention sadly. My parents bought it about 6 years ago with plans to semi-retire and explore the UK in it, sadly DMum died 5 years ago when they'd only had one adventure. When she was dying she made me promise I wouldn't let Ddad sell the camper! We stole the keys off him at one point but he is now adamant again that he wants to sell it :( We think we wil buy one between us - us being Dsis and BIL and ourselves. Our current one is like this In some ways it's too big, a smaller one is easier to take places. I think if we buy our own it'll be a VW but not a 70s cool one, an 80s one that people won't want! Like this :) but yes, camping but with a loo, shower, oven, fridge?! Am I selling it to you?!

I would love to have a camper van but for now we do proper camping with a tent and everything. I am debating whether I should take a pee bucket with me this summer - I am not sure i will be able to traipse to the loo a gazillion times in a night.

Oooo, fresh blood. I guess from your Beshtionnaire that you have been lurking around these parts for some time. Have you got the home IPL thing? Is it good? I've had laser zapping done by a nurse before and the results are great, so I want some more areas done, but was considering the home version if it works, so please tell.

I'm euro and answer to all variations thereof. The OH is KFZK (Kung fu zombie killer). I'm on my 20th cycle of trying for #1 and we are "unexplained" (=the NHS can't be @rsed to do more tests). I've mostly got over mentally about IVF and am stabbing myself with a needle nightly. I have now moved on to mentalling about the dodgy smear result I got this week. At least it is taking my mind of my IVF panics...

Norfy I am doing as well as can be expected. Have managed to get in to see a private consultant for a colposcopy tomorrow, so I should know more then (this is a whole new variety of the knicker-dropping routine - with a microscope added into the mix ). I will see what he says about the IVF. Then I have to decide whether or not to tell my clinic about the result if he says it is ok to go ahead. What a headfuck all of this is.

Laura I hope all goes well.

dot congrats on the diffed-ness! You are made of stern stuff to do camping whilst knocked up. That is going to be one hardcore baybee!

faif sorry to hear about your mum. you are actually making it sound vaguely appealing what with all the mod cons. I also very much like the idea of getting someone else to store the bloody thing shared ownership. They're not cheap though are they?

euro hope this doesn't sound too stalker-esque but read a fair bit of this thread last night just to make sure you were all as hysterical and cynical as you first appeared. Loved the intro to this thread but just wanted to be double sure there was none of that sparkly shit going on. Took me a good 100 or so posts to even start to understand the lingo. Surely you guys are a MN book in the making? There's a whole new language in here.

'unexplained' sounds totally wank. My BIL and SIL are 'unexplained' at the minute. Must be massively stressful.

Ps - its been a loooooooonng time since anyone called me fresh meat.

Feck - forgot re IPL. No haven't got home one although am sort of considering. Currently having it done at a place with a nurse type person. Home one would be massively cheaper but am not sure I'm brave enough to do it myself. Also have sort of oilvey skin which apparently has potential to be problematic if you don't use the right laser or something.

Evening all, I've just got in from a cultural evening of watching The National Theatre's "Frankenstein" at our local arty farty centre. It was very very good, I'd highly recommend it to you all if you get the chance to see it. I saw the version with Benedict Cumberbatch as the Creature.

For Camel's info I am 31, married to HWHNN (He Who Has No Name). We've been trying to win baybee #1 for just over 2 years. Diagnosed with PCOS in early 2011 and am just coming to the end of 5 months on Clomid without success. Going back to the fertility consultant next month where I expect to be put on to follicle tracking.

God reading that back is depressing!

Actually, me and cave appear interchangeable. 31, PCOS that doesn't seem to like clomid, TTC from early 2010 2009 doesn't count as it wasn't really trying.. Except I have a GHJ (ginger hairy jock) at home. And I'm not sure I've ever had a cultural evening, let alone one at the national theatre. But other than that..

Glad we've passed muster as far as baby dust goes (is it made from ground up babies? I may pop out the the conception forum as a whole and ask). There may be a bit of surreptitious hand holding and nipple tassel twirling, but definitely no baby dancing. In fact, in the glorious republic of Rulvakia, I think that's punished by stoning.

I saw that last year Cave. Did you enjoy it? It wasn't quite as good as the hype but anything with Bendydick is alright by me.

Hello new Camel (and hello Alwyn if you're still there). I was getting worried about BESH stocks being depleted. I'm blonder, 35 (not for much longer), was ttc %231 actively for a year after enforced waiting due to several years of health probs. Had no sign of ovulation during this time (pee sticks, temping, blood tests) but suddenly did and am now 20 weeks so feeling very fortunate. Married to Tall Bald Irishman (bucking the Ginger trend) for almost 10 years. They are a lovely bunch here for the more cynically inclined and a breath of bloody fresh air apart from the morning after gin

That should say ttc number 1. Or DC 1. Or whatever. Not number 231.

I thought it was very good blonde, though as you say the hype probably over killed it. MIL saw it live at the theatre but didn't tell me she was going . Would have liked to see it and the CumberArse in the flesh

Oh I do enjoy Mr Cumberbumberbatch.

I am 34, unprotected sechsing for 7-8 years, officially trying for 30 months. PCOS. Metformin, ovarian drilling and Clomid have been tried or are in the process of being tried. One ectopic to my name so far.

Did I mention I met walked past several times on the way to the loo him at a party pub ?

@ blonde. Bet he was bluddy gorgeous in the flesh.

[wipes drool from chin]

Good grief are you really 20 weeks now blondie?!

This 'baby dancing' you speak of, is that when you dance with babies? Cos every time we watch 'A Day full of songs' world's cheesiest DVD DNephew insists we do the hokey kokey. Does that count?!

Good luck LP!

Gosh, how rude of me. LP, hope everything goes well this morning. All my appendages are crossed for you.

Morning ladies!

Bugs I also have everything crossed for you. Colposcopy is fancy medical speak for "peer up your fanjo with a giant microscope". Apparently they paint a solution on your cervix which makes the dodgy areas show up white. They can then take biopsies or zap them. Apparently, you can usually see your cervix on a screen when they do it. Which will be interesting. I enjoy seeing my ovaries during dildocam scans. This will make a nice change.

blonde if it was no. 231 you would be uber fertile and banished from Rulvakia!

Hope it goes ok euro, enjoy seeing your cervix. I especially liked the HSG. Lots of detail on that :)