Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

ciwi don t know what we ll do for Georgie's birthday yet , probably go to our" special place" for her and leave some flowers there. Georgie was cremated as we want to move back to the Midlands soon so we don t have a grave or place in a memorial garden. It's coming round all too quick? Do you know what you ll do?
greenzebra hugs to you, hope you get your scan. HR were brilliant with me when I returned to work I phased in over 6 weeks and I found the time had come for me to be back at work. I was spreading too much time on my own thinking, dwelling. To return to work was light hearted banter about meaningless crap but yet they all still and do now talk about Georgie , which was important to me that she was n t forgotten
Or not mentioned.good luck, I also know where you re coming from about wanting to return to work pregnant but ad my counsellor always says to me " we live with the not knowing" and every time I ve thought I can't face a situation I ve , somehow, muddled through it. The anticipation has been worst than the reality. I always come back to. "I ve faced the worst what can be worst than loosing Georgie???"
Good luck and hugs hope you get on ok?

Love to all xxxx

Yay! Going on hols today and the bleeding has finally stopped!

green I hope you have a good day and good luck at work.

angel and ciwi I hope you have some inspiration for what to do for your little one's birthdays. We had Alexander and Felicia cremated but we can't work out what to do with the ashes as we will probably be moving in the next couple of years, so we don't want to do anything with them here.

I spoke too soon :( Still bleeding

dachs do you really think prolongued bleeding will make your cycle shorter? I had that when I first stopped the pill and still had 28 day cycles x
Morning everyone else, I am feeling confused this morning, keep being desperate for a bfp but also worried sick in case I do get one. I know I need to stop thinking well ahead of myself though.
Angel I am not sure what we are going to do yet. We will definately go to the cemetery and light his candle there and I want to make a birthday cake for him (that mummy will just have to eat on his behalf) we will also probably have close family round and maybe set off some lanterns or something. It's hard to think of something special enough isn't it?

ciwi I know exactly what you mean, we try so hard to get pregnant and then we are scared to get pregnant too. I too think to far ahead, I think its a womens condition to do so. We think to much about stuff.

I am hoping that tese crampy feelings I am having are not AF, but imn the back fo my mind I know they probably are. Im going to have a bath and try not to think about it, let everything flow over me this morning what will be will be. No point in dwelling it doesnt do us any good.

ciwi I'm worried that the prolonged bleeding will make my cycle longer, not shorter. Although I have no idea when to expect next AF anyway, given when I ovulated! I'll just have to wait and see how long it takes.

FX for a BFP for you - it will be hard whenever you get one - it's something that all of us will have to get over at some point (I hope! ).

green Sorry you're feeling crampy. Enjoy your bath.

Taxi will be here in an hour and a half, so prob won't be posting for a few days. Take care all, and FX for lots of nice shiny BFPs for you while I'm away.

dachs have a lovely time, I know it will be hard but just try and forget your worries and enjoy your holiday x p.s. I meant longer, sorry
green really hope it's not af x

Morning Ladies,
I hope everyone is having a better day than they have been. I had to post today as it was my birthday yesterday and DH took me out on the town to celebrate. I gave him a wee present too - a BFP!!! I'm so excited yet so apprehensive - been told by special care midwife that this is perfectly normal and that it's not wrong of me to be excited and that I should try and enjoy this pregnancy even though there will always be the worry in my head. Still early days yet (we're 5 wks) but I'm trying really hard to stay positive and hope that we're maybe getting a good break? (FX's) Anyway, away for a wee walk and good luck to all this month x

CONGRATULATIONS MELMAL

maybe this is a magic thread.

Hope so - we'd just decided to go for it and see what happened - and it's happened x

congratulations MelMal very happy for you!

let's hope we will all be this lucky! x

congrats mel i know the feeling of being excited but soo worried. since having my bfp i am never far away from the toilet and i know i am going to get worse as i get closer to 20 weeks when we lost grace i am sure i will be imagining kicks and then panicing when there isnt any etc ( ithink i will probably drive the mw mad)

green i hope that you enjoy your bath and that it isnt AF

dach enjoy your holiday

shakey I can still feel kicks... :(
apparently my friend who had also had a stillborn baby told me she read a research that your brain makes your body think you're still pregnant and feel kicks because it can't cope with what happened!

Once I will get a BFP I will probably also drive my MW mad, although she will understand, she was very caring when she came on Monday!

Congrats mel.

congradz mel , im havin a bad day jus keep thinking he would of been nine weeks 2 moz goes soooooooooooo quick xxxxx

awww blue that must be awful, when i lost grace all i felt was completely empty

it is AF fuck fuck fuck!!!!! (sorry for swearing)

Feel abit down so went out and bought a big pack of giant cookies and I am now going to eat the whole packet while sitting on the bed watching a romance film (not sure which one) needs to be upbeat and no pregnancy in it!

I shall have a 'I feel shit day' but just for today and not just because I now dont have a BFP but because who likes AF anyway! and then tomorrow I can start a fresh for a new month. (my new mantra is 'it will happen to me it will')

Hey Vicky Im in the same Boat Ophelia would have been 9 weeks old today. Maybe are little ones are together somewhere.

My last period started on the day of her funeral and this one on the ninth week (9's that number is so lucky to me so maybe this will be the cycle) Realy clutching at straws now. lol Oh well Ive got to laugh really otherwise I will get to down, maybe a comedy is better and romantic comedy. (love actually might be the one)

ah green I'm sorry for you! Next month! FX!

I know shakey I just miss my pregnant belly soooo much, it wasn't very big yet and it's almost all gone. I'm just in the horrible state of not fitting in my normal jeans by 1/2 inch or so! very annoying! Don't know what to wear, except for skirts.

the funeral director just called and they're gonna have a casquet made for us as we didn't want the white one they suggested.

Bluetinkerbell - That's really interesting, it happened to me - I could 'feel' where they should be and felt a kick where I had felt a kick once. I lost them 6 months ago at 20 weeks and it's still so hard to believe that it all happened. I sometimes wonder did I imagine the whole thing and even the very pregnancy itself. I wonder if I'll ever be pregnant again. It sometimes feels as though my body could never get over it all. Just get so scared sometimes that maybe that was it. Sorry, some reason today has just been a bit hard.

Sorry, I also wanted to say congratulations to MelMal. It's lovely news and it cheers me up to see it - it gives me hope xx

Horsey glad/sad I'm not the only one! It is so very cruel of our bodies though!
I still lie on the sofa and put my hand on my belly and then remember I'm not pregnant anymore...

It's just hard to have to try again when you thought things would be OK. But I can gradually ever so slowly feel myself getting a bit better mentally and I'm hoping (against hope maybe) that I'll get that BFP again some time. Some ladies are lucky and get theirs quickly and maybe that will be us. It's hard to be anything but impatient though when we want to be pregnant again so badly. I think that it is worth bearing in mind that it seems to normal to take up to a year to get pregnant and I know I've only been trying since the end of March and I have to remind myself of that sometimes. I think if I'm not yet pregnant it's because my body isn't just ready yet. Maybe soon... xx

awww green mayb they are friends how good would dat b xx 9 weeks 2moz and still no period its really mad i bled for 6 weeks after havin him then stopped 4 2 days and started again but no bleddin since the 14th june soooo dont knw wats going on , need to wait n c but still trying for anova one xx

blue and horsey I felt kicks afterwards too, it was so cruel and very upsetting. Those early days were so hard and looking back now I can see how far I have come since then. Some days I feel like things will never get better but when I look back to how I felt then I realise that things are a lot better now than they were then a lovely bfp and a sticky bean would make things easier still though!
green sorry the witch has payed you a visit, lets hope it's the last one for a long time x
mel congratulations, hope you have a very boring 9 months ahead x
I have just treated myself to a cappucino and a packet of rolo's, so much for the diet

Huge congrats melmal xxx
Hugs to all who need them. Xxxx