Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

1002 replies

TooImmature2BMum · 21/06/2011 19:40

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

OP posts:
AngelGeorgie · 22/06/2011 09:41

Thanks Janedoe xxx
I can relate where you re all coming from. My post natal check amounted to a big fat zero!!! We were told by our consultant to wait to after our post morton results just in case anything was identified but we didn t. Looking back I don t think my body was ready at that point to be pregnant. I too gave spoke to Georgie regularly about GILS ( Georgie's ickle little sister) and that this is her sister not a replacement for Georgie but her sister and to help us throughout this trying time. I feel sure Georgie is watching over us.
Did anyone go to the SANDS annual memorial service at the Aborteum in Stafford on Sarurday? It was upsetting but touching? The SANDS garden is beatiful , very peaceful , a lovely tranquil place.
Best of luck , love to all xxxx

AngelGeorgie · 22/06/2011 09:42

Congrats shakeyjake xxx

greenzebra · 22/06/2011 09:48

shakeyjake yay! We will hold you hand through out!

I am obsessing already this morning just been looking at clear blue monitors thinking is it worth it? I might stick to the ovulation sticks I have this month and maybe get a monitor next month if its a fail.

TooImmature2BMum · 22/06/2011 10:17

Hurray for you, Shakey! First BFP on this thread! Hoping for lots more to come.

Hi MelMal, welcome.

I'm a long way from Stafford, Angel, so no. Haven't tried Sands yet, apart from MIL getting us a leaf for the local Tree of Tranquility. Sadly, the tree is in a park right behind my office and I am too scared of cracking up to go there in case anyone sees me. Will have to overcome this feeling - but not today!

Off to Google ClearBlue monitors - these are new to me. Didn't find MN until after conception last time, so all these special aids are virgin territory. Am having to catch up - spent last night trying to work out what luteal phases are! Same as 2ww, right?

OP posts:
greenzebra · 22/06/2011 10:29

TooImmature2BMum thats right, the day after your ovulation to the day of yoour next period.

Theres a section on MN that gives you a calender after you know your dates so you can see your fertile days for the next 4 months!

Amazon do the monitors cheap and the monthly testing sticks, not sure I can afford the expense though.

janedoe25 · 22/06/2011 10:49

shakey congratulations, so happy for you!

angel i went to the memorial service, it was such a lovely day. Cried buckets at the Katie Melua song though and the poem "child of my heart" was read out at my Zoe's funeral. We made a weekend of it, i live in Glasgow so a long way to travel just for the day!

janedoe25 · 22/06/2011 10:50

Sorry forgot to say hi melmal welcome! Grin

TooImmature2BMum · 22/06/2011 11:17

I really hate waiting. I have been waiting now for more than a year - since 24 May 2010, in fact. Having to wait a few more days until my period ends is getting to me. And even if this is the month then I still have to wait a further 8 months (while trying not to panic or camp out at Triage making them listen to the heart monitor 24/7). Sad Maybe I should get out of bed and do something. Like hoovering. Nope, not that bored yet!

OP posts:
ciwi · 22/06/2011 11:38

Hi everyone,
Can I join you lovely ladies? We are trying again after losing our little boy at 24 weeks last October (12th). I fell pregnant again in Feb but unfortunately had a mmc at 9 weeks. I have since been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid and after 2 months of tablets my levels are ok and we have decided to try again. I am really trying not to obsess but its so hard. I did have a cbfm but ditched it as its so stressful waking up and thinking about your fertility every day! Think i am on cycle day 10 but only had one normal one since the mmc so not really sure when i will ov.
Sorry that you are all here and sending lots of love to all our angels xxx

TooImmature2BMum · 22/06/2011 11:54

Hi Ciwi, come on in! So sorry to hear about your little boy and the mmc.

OP posts:
ciwi · 22/06/2011 12:57

Thanks too, really need that cuppa. Been for a counselling assessment today as i think i need some help moving forward now. It was upsetting but I am glad I am heading in the right direction.
Has anyone else been give a reason for losing thier babies? I had very early onset pre eclampsia so am now on baby aspirin as well as my thyroxine and pregnacare conception - feel like i rattle when i walk - lol xxx

HorseyGirl1 · 22/06/2011 13:22

Hi there
Think this might be the place for me. Unfortunately, I lost my first pregnancy in December at 20 weeks. It was a twin pregnancy and I lost two little boys. Heart-broken still but know I need to get on with it. We've been TTC since the end of March and no joy yet. I know it's not that long in the grand scheme of things but I just long to be pregnant again. So scared of not being able to get pregnant and so scared of not being able to. Tried OPK one month but trying (!) not to get too obsessive. Have been taking the Pregnacare but going to start B6 too as I'm a bit worried about possibly having a short luteal phase. Hope this is a good thread for us all. xx

janedoe25 · 22/06/2011 13:43

Welcome ciwi and horseygirl I am sorry to hear of your precious babies.

greenzebra · 22/06/2011 13:47

Hello Horsey and ciwi, sorry to hear your sad stories. Hopefully we will all be lucky on this thread and hold each others hands throughout. We can all be obsessive here, as we are the only ones who know what we are going through.

I started to take my pregnacare vitatmins a week after I gave borth thought it would help my body get back to normal, wasnt thining about getting pregnant again then, but now I do feel great bodily, if not a bit wobbly! lol

ciwi I havnt been given a reason yet still waiting for the post mortem results to come back, they told us 6 weeks but its going to take more like 12.

janedoe25 · 22/06/2011 13:51

ciwi i had a problem with my pacenta called defective placental maturation, we also found out that Zoe had downs syndrome.

green im sorry they have you waiting so long, it must be so hard? I know i was bad enough waiting 8 weeks.

TooImmature2BMum · 22/06/2011 16:10

Hi Horsey, so sorry about your twins.

It took 11 weeks before I got the results of the PM, and when I did it was very inconclusive. Thea died of hypoxia (ie, lack of oxygen), but there wasn't any clear reason why she wasn't getting enough oxygen. They didn't find anything congenitally wrong, and the placenta was working at 80%, which is usually good enough. So...don't know. Maybe her cord was being compressed during contractions, but they don't know for sure. So nothing specific to watch out for the next time.

OP posts:
CheeseandGherkins · 22/06/2011 17:27

Afternoon.

I'm using the clear blue monitor and it says to test in the morning with first morning urine with their ovulation tests so I don't think you've been doing it wrong green. You're not tainting her memory at all.

Still just a high for me with no ovulation and now on day 22, so annoying.

Hi jane Melmal and shakey sorry to see you here but glad you're here also, hope you know what I mean!

I didn't even bother with a 6 week check at all, just couldn't face it and as I've had them before (with a baby with me) I knew it would be useless for me.

Hi to ciwi and Horsey too. So sorry for you both as well :(

We had to call for our results of the PM and for our consultant appointment to discuss them as apparently we got lost in the system Hmm, this was after 6 weeks waiting.

greenzebra · 22/06/2011 17:54

Hi cheese Ive got the cheap ovu tests that say test in the afternoon. Not sure If I want to fork out the dosh for a monitor.

I rung the hospital last week asking for the results, she said they were not on the computer and said they can take up to 12 weeks, and that she was sorry that the bereavment team hadnt relayed that info to me. She said she takes the results very seriously and as soon as they come in she will ring us. So I shall give her the benefit of the doubt for now but if I dont hear anything at week 12 then Im ringing again.

Ive had another neg ovu test this afternoon, I think I ovu last week, but just continued testing just in case. SWI all last week so we had it covered. Im trying not to think of symptoms yet, I had very early symptoms when I was pregnant last time, but every pregnancy is different. Also my body is different now. It was funny coz last time I knew I was before the test told me. Im not sure this time, fingers crossed for us all.

CheeseandGherkins · 22/06/2011 19:29

Oh I seem to have managed to miss some posts there Confused shakey congratulations!! So pleased for you!!

I got the monitor from amazon for about £50 and the test stick are around £12 for 20 (supposed to use 10 a month after the first month when it gets to know your cycle) and seeing as pregnancy tests cost about the same and I always end up wasting loads I figured this would be better! Boots sell them for double the price Shock

I've been SWI a lot too but this takes some of the pressure off so I don't feel like it's having to but wanting to. I just hope I ov soon. Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

AngelGeorgie · 22/06/2011 19:40

Wow Jane so you were there also? Was a very touching service and Katie Melua was lovely. We too, were away for the weekend at my parents as they live in
Worcestershire , about 1 he away
From the Aborteum. Did you plant a stone? Didn t you think the garden is lovely??! Take care and love to all xxx

ciwi · 22/06/2011 19:43

Hi everyone,
I will get better at personals once i get to know you all.
green the joys of symptom spotting! I am making a conscious effort not to do that this time round but know i wont be able to help it! One of the girls on another forum suggested using cheap ov tests and then checking it with a more expensive one when you think you might have a pos. i thought that was a good idea
cheese i used the monitor last time when ttc but trying to avoid using it this time as i found it stressful. i did get my bfp 2nd month of using it though! Little tip - once you get your peak you can stop testing, it can save loads of sticks as it asks you to test in batches of 10.
Well I am on day 10 here but not expecting to ov till at least day 14 but prob will be more like day 16 based on last month. I am using ic's too and they are obv negative at the moment, the fact i am not due to ov for nearly a week doesnt stop me checking!

CheeseandGherkins · 22/06/2011 20:18

Thanks I'll bear that in mind. I prefer the monitor at the moment as it takes away the uncertainty of squinting at lines! I'm bad enough with pregnancy tests and doing that as it is!

janedoe25 · 22/06/2011 20:18

Angel yeah we planted a stone, although it looks so boring next to all of the beautifully painted stones! Next time we go down we will take our own stone painted nice and brightly! The garden was lovely, so peaceful and such a fitting tribute to all of the angel babies.

I am pretty sure ERTD is around the corner, i have some cramping tonight. Ah well another month of swi for us Grin

AngelGeorgie · 22/06/2011 22:45

Arh ... We thought exactly the same .Jane our Georgie' s 2 stones are plain and understated so we, too, said we re going to paint some nice bright stones and replant at some time. Funny to think we re there in RL. My mum actually commented if any mumsnetters would be there!!! Xx

CheeseandGherkins · 23/06/2011 07:16

Morning. Another high on the ovulation but no peak...day 23 now! Argh! Driving me insane.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.