Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

Congratulations Mel! That's brilliant news! Well done you. Our second BFP of the thread! Now just FX for the rest of us.

I have decided to test on Thursday the 21st if AF hasn't come before then. Really, I would be safer leaving it until the Monday afterwards but I'm going to one of my best friends' weddings and I want to know beforehand. Maybe it will be good news...

Aw, boo, Green! Never mind - have a big tub of Haagen Dazs or some (was it you that said she didn't drink?) and think - that's one cycle closer to your BFP!

I feel phantom kicks too - it's very weird. I don't exactly miss my tummy but I now like my stretch marks because they show she was there...massive turnaround from when I discovered them at about 32 weeks and had a tantrum and cried for ages.

Arr I didnt get far along enough for stretch marks too I just have a little pouch at the bottom of my tummy! I like it though, makes me think my little boy is making his mark x

ciwi thanks for the rolo!

Tooimm yeah Im the teetotaler! Im munching through my cookies. and thats a really good way to think, Im getting closer!

Just got back from the docs, she was so nice, told me how my cervix are different now and booked me in for a ultrasound to check my fibroids but she said she thinks they are not a problem, but lets check them anyway.
She says the cervix and the muscles all around them stretch and get out of shape thats why alot of docotors say wait three months till you try, also because our oestrogen levels are still high which levels out after three months. So things are still moving around, and my fibroids and uterus could still be shrinking. So good to know. She said I could come in and chat anytime I wanted and then she wished me good luck in my next cycle.

So I shall be having a scan in three weeks.

ok dont know whats going on now, seams like Af might have stopped? Have to wait and see maybe it was only spotting so could have been implantation? Just going to have to wait it out I guess. What we have to go through ey.

Congrats melmal!

green FX for next month

Ar green fx for you x

Where is everyone?

been in essex all day visiting my bff, great day really cheered me up as Im having the AF from hell! Oh well as least I know my body is back, back to terrible AF pain every month oh joy!

So where was everyone to day, just you ciwi holding the fort.

Seems that way, being trying to skive in work all day but no one to play with
Glad you had a good day, hope that witch goes away soon x

Morning girls, I was out yesterday for lunch with my SIL and my baby nephew (born 3 days before I delivered Ruby). It was a good day though and I love being them both as my SIL has been fab through all of this. We also got a phonecall to say that that was Ruby's name on the headstone so we went up to see that. I didn't feel too bad until we were coming away and then I broke down. I'm feeling OK today other than the morning sickness which seems to last all day. It's strange for me as I never had that during the last pregnancy. Trying my best to enjoy this though x

Morning everyone,
mel glad you had a nice day, I found it hard looking at the headstone too but in another way I was glad that his special place would soon have a proper marker on it and I could make it look all nice x
Well I am distracting myself in work again. DH has gone out to buy a posh coffee machine for the house with our wedding vouchers so excited to have a nice cup of coffee (hope it needs to be decaff very soon). Now 5dpo but determined not to symptom spot as I never get any symptoms till af is due anyway. Anyone else in the 2ww?

ciwi im in Glasgow. The Swi has commenced this month fingers crossed!

I have had abusy few days, i was shopping for my wedding dress and i have found it! Never ever did i think i would be excited about a dress!

Yay for the wedding dress, it's so exciting. I loved my wedding dress, its such a shame I won't wear it again. I think I should plan a wedding dress party once my friends have all got married! Fx you catch that egg soon too and have a massive dilema over whether the dress will fit you or not x

Afternoon all.

Not a great day so far, cried in bed this morning after finding out my cousin's due on the 28th/30th Dec and Scarlett's funeral was the 29th Dec, all our "firsts" that month which will be hard trying to deal with alongside that...

Tested this morning with a FR, negative of course. I don't feel it this month so I'm not too hopeful. Have to wait and see though I guess.

Sorry you are having a bad day cheese. I am expecting a hard month in October as it's my little boy's birthday on the 12th and mine on the 14th plus his funeral date, think I will be an emotional wreck! So sorry you are having to contend with a possible new arrival then too. Try and not to think too far in advance though and focus on the next few days, worry about that when the time comes hun. I know its not easy but it's the only method thats keeping me sane around all the pg announcements at the moment x
When is af due? could it be possible that you have tested too early? I have never had signs until af was due x

ciwi You have a lot on in October by the sounds of it. My dh says the same to me, that I worry about things too far in advance! I can't seem to help it, I go through every possible outcome to everything, it's exhausting at times. I don't know when AF is due, that's the problem, I'm hoping the clearblue monitor picks up a peak next month (if I'm not pregnant) as it didn't this month but I've read that's common while it gets to know your cycle. I'm on day 31 now but have had 33, 37, 35 days etc since having Scarlett so it could well be too early. Just don't feel hopeful. Where are you on your cycle this month?

I am day 19 of what I think will be a 28 day cycle (pos opk on day 14), I don't normally get symptoms until af is due but it doesnt stop me trying to spot them though! Had a sharp pain in my womb area before and am getting carried away hoping its implantation pains (think 5dpo is a bit early though)oh well just over a week left to obsessively convince myself I am pregnant! Just hope I don't get too upset if I am not. Still got my fingers crossed for you cheese if you have more of a 35/37 day cycle this month it could still be too early for you to test x

cheese sorry your having a bad day. Fingers still crossed fory you x

Hi people - have been staying with my mum for the last couple of days. She has a new 10 week old golden retriever puppy and it is so cute! Puppy therapy. I did find myself pulling up sharply after calling the puppy the same sort of pet names I call Thea, though - puppy is not a baby!

The SWI has trailed off while we've been away, so have to get back on the horse, as it were. I think I may ovulate in the next few days (don't have opk sticks, or not yet - just going on normal length of cycle) but I'm not entirely sure. It is such a long time until I can test... I have been pregnant twice and each time it only took one attempt (in fact, the first time was from one condom-breaking moment and also defied the morning after pill!), and so I am really hopeful that it will be the same this time, but I'm also trying to prepare myself in case it isn't.

Does anyone else already have names picked out for baby no 2? I actually have 4 names picked out - twin girls and twin boys!

Green, Cheese and anyone else having a bad day - clotted cream fudge. Mmm!

Jane, congrats on the wedding dress shopping! What do you mean, you never knew you could get so excited about a dress? I manage to get excited about £7 Primark dresses, much less my wedding dress. I wonder if it would still fit me? I don't want to try it on in case it doesn't!

Whoever mentioned symptoms - mine tend to start with disinterest in AF. I get this feeling that I don't need to be worrying and making sure I'm carrying tampons, even though AF is due at any moment. Then I get swollen/tender boobs. I got a bit light-headed in the shower, too.

Hi too I so should be working but its too boring so keep coming on here! better get on with the swi if you may be due to ov! I fell 1st month 1st time and 3rd month 2nd time so i am hoping it doesnt take too long this time. feel like i have a stingy nipple (oh no, am obsessively symptom spotting already and its ages till i can test)i kind of know what you mean about not feeling like you are going to come on.
I have names for number 2 because we had a few names 1st time round got 1 boys and 2 girls names sorted. just need the baby now!

tooimmature I am not girly at all hated skirts/dresses pink pretty much anything girly! However that all changed when i found out Zoe was a girl, i boughts loads of pink clothes for her. I am even having pink in my colour scheme for the the wedding, the pink is for Zoe though to bring a little bit of her to the day. we all wore pink to her funeral too.

The puppy sounds so cute!
Get back to the SWI lady! We have just started im on CD 9. We conceived the first month Zoe so this is a whole new territory for us to! Lets hope it happens this month.

Hugs for those of you who are having a bad day.

Have just counted and I'm on cd14 - must go and entice DH into bed! Of course, I usually have 35-37 day cycles, so I may not be ovulating yet, but better safe than sorry.

Im home alone as the dh is out at the pub having a leaving do for a girl at work who is preggers! Feel abit jealous but then again she does deserve it she had a loss herself 2 years ago. I wish her well but head is on.

Im wishing so hard for a BFP this cycle, if it doesnt happen I might increase the chances by taking no more baths and insisting the DH does the same, showers are better for sperm production. No more alcohol for him either and an extreme healthy diet for me.

Hope everyone is having a better day today.

I think about baby names constintly aswell, think we will stick to the same boys name we had in readiness, but we dont have another girls name yet, we have discussed it but DH came up with a corker of a name the other night but then he went off it due to a nazi connection. I said it was so vague it didnt matter but hes not so sure. I love the name now and cant find another as good, so have decided to keep it in mind and when we do get the BFP I shall put it back on the table and hope he agrees.