Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

I have heard that you are more fertile after a chemical too, I know it's little consolation green but fx you fall again next month x

Thinking about you Green, it will happen for us x

thanks guys.

This is horrible, its like the worst AF ever. But if this is a misscarriage then I have had one before.
Anyway just waiting for the doctor to ring me, my dh has taken the day off to keep me company, I think this grief has brought Ophelias grief forward again. Now I have to tell the two friends I confided in that Im not pg, thank god I didnt tell the parents.

It will happen for us mel how are you today?

I'm ok Green, I'm still waiting for things to happen. Know what you mean about bringing things back to mind. I think we have to take strength from the fact that that is one of the hardest things to go through and we will get through this. Doesn't make it any more fair but we are amazing and can deal with it x

next month I will be waiting a week before I test. If I had done that this time, I would never have known that I was pg. Looking back now to when I tested it was a faint line, and I thought about testing the next day but I thought a positive was a positive so happy days. I wish the bloody doctor would ring already.

well doctor just rung, Im to treat this like a normal period, the embryo died just after conception. Im just to take it easy and ring them back if I get servere pain.

Onwards and upwards.

I truly hope this is the bad luck for the board and the rest of you pg mums are going to go on and have healthy babies at the end this. I will be joining you shortly.

awww green i am so sorry. Fx for good sticky pg's for you and mel soon.

green im so, so sorry. We are here if you need to talk, anytime. Take care of yourself .

Oh Green, I am so, so sorry. I'm in tears thinking about you. You will be pg again shortly, and Mel is right, you are both amazing.

Afternoon everyone,
Thinking of you green fx you will get another bfp in 4 weeks time x
mel how are you? are you still waiting? It is honestly the worst part x
too i read your post from yesterday, are you a twin? I have a twin sister who is also pg, will be so nice if it works out for both of us x

Yes, I'm a twin - hello, fellow twin! My dad's a twin too - this is one reason why I want an 8 week scan. I hope both you and your sister have calm uneventful pregnancies and that everything works out well. How far along is she? It would be nice having one's twin pregnant at the same time - we could compare notes and spend much of maternity leave together. Sadly, my sister isn't thinking of having kids for quite some time to come, so it probably won't happen.

Rant warning!!! I am fuming at my work. Just received a letter from HR saying that they're referring me to occ health following this absence with a list of totally insensitive questions. When do they expect me to be fit for work? Can they do anything to help me get back quicker? Unless they can get me pregnant with a healthy baby then there's nothing they can do. I could be really touchy about it all but they have no clue. Every piece of contact from them has been as insensitive as could humanely be possible. I'll be back at work when I am going to be mentally and physically capable of doing the work!

Thats what I am hoping for too a nice long holiday mat leave off together. We are identical so more of the 'one off freak occurance' than the 'runs in families' type. Really hope it works out for both of us. She is nearly 12 weeks now I think of her being that far along when I have another 4 weeks of mc mentalling before the pre eclampsia mentalling starts. Also share your symptom of not wanting biscuits, had a digestive the other day and only managed 2 bites! definately not right for me
mel that is appauling, can you just ignore it? Other than that I would be tempted to fill it in and be brutally honest with your answers to the point where they will feel really uncomfortable. Do you have a Dr's note? If so, I would send that in with the unfilled paperwork and tell them you will discuss things when you are physically and mentally able to and that you don't expect to hear from them until you have been declared by a medical professional to be fit for work.

Hello everyone, hope I am okay to join this thread. I lost my baby boy in april 22 weeks into the pregnancy from osteogenisis imperfecta type 2. It was the worst thing ever to happen to me. Had experienced 4 chemical pregnancies before that, taken a year out with a coil insitu and the pregnancy with my son happened the month it came out. We thought we were so lucky as I have pcos and have used clomid in the past. I now feel strong enough to try again, infact my desire almost takes me over which is not really that healthy!! I have had tracking scans preformed this month with so far no luck in detecting any goings on in my ovaries and a defunct womb lining!!!
My thoughts to all of you and the losses that you have suffered. Wishing us all the luck in the world x

Mel, that's awful! What exactly is occupational health meant to do about it? Unless they organise some free counselling for you, I suppose. And that's not going to help with the physical side of things! Grr.

Hi Razz, nice to meet you and welcome! I'm so sorry to hear about your baby boy. Wishing you the best of luck for TTC again. I think everyone here knows all about the strength of the desire to be pg again, so you're in the right place!

Hi razz, welcome to the group. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy it really is the worst thing ever, completely devastating. Good luck with the ttc journey, I completely understand your need to be pg again, i think we all do but you are right, you shouldn't let it take over, one thing I have found helpful is just plan lots of nice things to do at the weekends to give yourself things to look forward to in the short term and not to look too far into the future, it doesnt always work but sometimes it helps, hope your wait is not too long x

They have my doctors line already so I don't know what they're expecting. Apparently it falls into the absence management policy that we must attend, however, I'm not going to discuss what's been going on with anyone other than my GP. Could be doing without this fight! Have text my welfare officer questioning it. We'll see what he says.

Hi Razz, sorry that you're here, but welcome and good luck x

welcome razz however sorry you find yourself here and sorry to hear about your little angel.

mel that is awful of your work. They should show some sympathy for your situation not just treat you like everyone else.

mel that does suck.

I was brought up against the illness board at work due to absence last year, the gave me the third degree and then asked me why etc. I let them blow of steam first then hit them with my fibroids and extreme periods due to this and that my doc was trying to get them under control, I had only just been diagnosed. My bosses face dropped, he didnt expect me to say that. I work in a male dominated environment so he hadnt come across female issues. Anyway in the end he was bendin gover backwards to help me out giving me days off when I needed them. Hes a wanker really as most bosses are but he has helped a bit after Ophelia died. I have to go in 4 weeks time, was hoping that it would be pregnant but thats going to happen now, but hopfully I wont have to wait to long.
You might have to bite the bullet and tell someone, it might make it easier. It is crap that nothing is sacred.

Im feeling a bit better dh has been spoiling me all day, we are still upset but thinking that we have been through worse.

razz hi, welcome, sorry about your little boy, I hope you get everything I have gotten out of this thread, support, love, help, companionship, and best of all a good laugh.

Welcome to the thread razz although i am sorry that you find yourself here. Fingers crossed for your BFP soon x

I know Green, it sucks big time. I've already explained what has been happening to the welfare officer and my line manager. I think that it's a case of one dept not talking to another. My fit note from the GP even states I'm off work because of suffering a blighted ovum, what else do they need to know? They've just been cr*p through all of this and have no sympahy or sensitivity training clearly x

mel work sucks! You do not need that added stress on top of everything else, maybe you could go to the doc's and get signed off through stress, see how your work loves that!
It makes me so angry for you.

Ive got to tell my bbf later today wont be easy as she having a rough time herself, her oldest isnt getting on with her partner and the father of her two youngest and I think she might be considering leaving! It never rains but it pours.

I hope the rest of you lucky 'bfpers' are having very dull and normal pgs at the moment, I wont lots of sticky beans from you lot. lol

Hi Razz x
Sorry Green defiantly a CP. However, as I said previously I m always more fertile after mine, well conceived both my Georgie and GILS after CPs . Good luck x
Hi all xx

mel I agree with green get signed off with stress, you just don't need to be thinking about work right now, hope you are ok x
green how are you coping? you will be joining the bfpers again very soon and so will you mel x
No news here (thankfully) just been for tea with my friend I met through sands, had a great catch up, I didnt tell her about me being pg though, I know I wouldnt want people to tell me unexpectedly so thought i would wait a bit plus i havent even told my parents yet!