Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

spilt thanks for giving your perspective, I think I was just being hopeful really, I know deep down I will be horribly stressed all the way through but our little ones will be worth it.
too you are going to need those maternity clothes, you are not tempting fate you are being positive x
green so glad things have settled down for you. Have you thought about buying an angel sounds doppler? I have one from my 1st pregnancy and it really helped when I was feeling worried. I didn't really use it once I felt regular movement but since you may not feel movement it might help x

Are the dopplers easy to use? I thought of buying one for this time, but if I couldn't find a heartbeat with it I would panic.

Afternoon all. Had a scan at the NHS today and am about 7 weeks, saw the
heartbeat again which was lovely and had a photo to take away :o I've been having really awful mood swings, anyone else having the same? I'm also starting to show! I look decidedly pregnant, don't think I'll be able to hide it for much longer!

Too I have a doppler which I found easy to use but dh recently bought me another as it was on its last legs. I first found the heartbeat at about 9 weeks last time iirc but it did take a while. Ooh a Topshop maternity sale? I'll have to pop there and have a look, could do with a few dresses. I've found that the maxi dresses are really easy to wear and last for ages as they stretch, the non maternity ones that is.

Split glad you're on the home stretch now. I was 37 weeks with Scarlett
when she died so I'm terrified of that time, I'm really hoping that it happens before then or they induce before. I know it's early but I'd rather a baby in special care than dead. Sounds awful but it's all I can picture. DD1 was born at 36 weeks and stayed in scbu a week but is now 9 years old and playing in the paddling pool in the garden with her younger brothers! I'm on the laptop watching them. I hope your baby is born safe and well very soon.

green hope you're ok and glad the spotting has now stopped. I spotted/lightly bled with Dd1 for about 10 days early on (around 6 weeks) and all was fine but I've also had miscarriages so have been on both sides.

Hope everyone's doing ok today. Off to get my hair chopped in about an hour, still wondering what to get done.

I found it easy to use, it sometimes took a bit of playing with to find the heartbeat but I always found it. I think you do need to just accept that sometimes you might not find it though. I first used mine after I got back from my 16 week check when we heard the heartbeat, that way i knew it was there and I also knew where to aim the doppler. Think I might try and start using it after the 12 week scan this time fx I get to the 12 week scan ok

Hi cheese x posts. Glad your scan went well, I am 7+2 today so very close in dates. I am definately not showing yet but I have quite a bit of padding! I spent last night crying every 5 minutes over one thing or another so get the mood swings definately.

green get drinking! I had pink discharge with ds1 i did go gp and went straight to epu for a scan, with showed some bleed but was ok, and now my cheeky monkey is sat in the paddling pool throwing water at dd's

erm dont know why that posted, stupid phone. I have thought about getting a doppler but keep thinking might make me panic more and would be trying to listen every 5 mins

cheese glad your scan went well. I have my scan on 18th august, should be nearly 13 weeks then. My due date is 27/2 but just remembered is a leap year aswell.

Cheese, excellent news re scan - and a photo too! I haven't been having mood swings (yet), but I am panicking at every twinge and not sleeping very well at all. I'm not showing yet but also have lots of leftover padding from last pregnancy so it's not surprising! According to my LMP I'm 6+4, but I think that when I get a scan it will show me as closer to 5 weeks. Did you get a nice hair cut?

Will think about dopplers - DH isn't sure it's a good idea.

Shakey, hope everything is good at your scan too!

cheese fab news x
Green hope all has settled now. I had pink smearing at about 6-7 weeks this time thought " that's that it's all over!!!" and none since( nearly 27 weeks now) had no bleeding / spotting with Georgie and she was stillborn at 41 weeks, I ve learnt , quite offer, there's no rationale to any if it!! Take care.
I totally re-iterate what " spilt" says take 1 day at a time that's all any of us can do. We ve had weekends away booked regularly once a month as something to aim towards . I don t particularly focus on
Being pg and don t think about the end result just stage to stage. Obviously, my worry us right at the end however I k
Having a section at 37+ 3 weeks I never felt Georgie move much anyway as she was long limbed, big footed and I didn
T put much weight on so don t think there was much room for her to move round in.the one thought that has got me through
Is in comparison NOTHING can ever be as bad as loosing Georgie at 41 weeks.
Love to all xxxx

Bloody I phone wrecks my grammar!!!!!!

Too true Angel, I keep thinking to myself that if we can deal with the loss of Ruby then what we're going through now should be relatively easy. It's obviously still going to hurt due to the fairness of everything but is dealable!
green glad the spotting has stopped, fx'd for an easy time of it for you x
Hope everyone else is doing ok. I've been out for a walk with my SIL and nephew and stopped for some lunch. Amazingly we ended up sharing a bottle of Rose, so much for not drinking!!!!

Mel, enjoy the while you can, because very soon you will be upduffed once more and it will be off the table! Hope you're getting on okay.

Angel, Thea was long, slim and big-footed too, and I didn't feel heaps of movement either. I had an anterior placenta, though, so think that was getting in the way. I did feel movement, but I remember waiting ages for her bouts of kicking when I wanted to show them off to family or friends. I hope I haven't got a anterior placenta this time!

ciwi I've always tried from early on with the doppler as I'm just too impatient, wondering when to give it a go this time already. Glad it's not just me with the mood swings!

shakey My dd1 was born on Feb 26th, she wasn't due until a month after though. Think my due date this time will be around March 21st but looking at delivery before then.

Too I had the same, scan showed me about 5 weeks, those long cycles! I had to canel the hair appointment as I got my first ever migraine. It started off with the aura thing and I had trouble seeing properly which was odd. Luckily it didn't last long though. I usually have an anterior placenta but still feel tons of movement and from very early on. Guess everyone's different.

Angel Scarlett was bigger than she should have been for her gestation apparently and they think I may have had gestational diabetes even though I was tested for it. I failed the first test then passed the GTT but they're testing me early this time. I did feel a lot of movement all the time though.

Mel definitely enjoy it, sounds like a lovely day. Hope you're not feeling too bad, it isn't fair though, not at all.

Have new pregnancy symptom: disinterest in cake, chocolate and biscuits. There has actually been cake in the house all day and I had one small slice and then lost interest! This is very unlike me. I do remember this from last time - I was pluming myself on an excellent pregnancy diet, but I got over it with a vengeance and practically lived on chocolate for the last trimester.

Cheese, sorry to hear about the migraine, it sounds awful! I would mention it to MW/consultant next time just in case it is significant. When they were wondering if I was developing pre-eclampsia they kept asking about headaches but I hadn't had any. I imagine it is far too early for such things, but just get it on record in case a pattern starts to build up.

I think part of the problem with movement was that Mum kept going on about the amount of movement she had - well, she was carrying twins in her one and only pregnancy! Of course she felt lots of movement! So I felt like my baby never moved as much as she was expecting and that coloured my experience.

Cramps! this is the pits, Im cramping and well I had this last time so one minute Im thinking its fine its just the uterus starting to stretch and then the next minute Im haveing a panic attack that Im miscarrying.
I dont really have sore boobs or sensitive nipples which I had last time which is a little worrying that this pregnancy isnt the same. I am very hot though and spaced out so there are still symptoms. I guess Im just going to have to wait till I see the consultant next week, jsut one week to go.

ok Im bleeding again. And its alot more than last time. Im going to get in the bath and try a calm down and wait for my DH to get home from work.

Green oh no! Keeping everything crossed for you, try not to get too worked up (easier said than done I know) xx

I think Im miscarrying, theres more blood, I know it could still be implantation but of course Im going to think the worst. Im going to wait it out tonight and test in the morning. This sucks life sucks.

:( can you call the epu? I don't think testing would show much as it would take some time for levels to go down if you were miscarrying, which hopefully you won't be. How much blood is there and what colour?

Mel sounds like you ve had a lovely day. Good on you FX you get your BFP very soon.
Too this time the placenta has been anterior so even less chance of feeling kicks as such!!! I feel " farty" and bubbly
Movements but i don t panic about not feeling kicks!!! After all that's happened to us we know the worst possible outcome anyhow.
green (()) xxx
Hi everyone else xx

its a miscarraige Im sure now, its like a period Im having. Im going to ring the doctors in the morning and see what they say. I think it too early for an epu, Im five weeks friday.

Fx crossed for the rest of you, hope you all have really sticky beans.

Oh green sweetie I'm so sorry . There is no justice at all. Let us know what the docs say tomorrow xx

Green sounds like a chemical pregnancy. Bummer . I ve had a couple of them however, a little hope; after both CPs I ve conceived the month after. Take care xxx

green I am so sorry, life is just cr*p sometimes. you don't deserve any more heartache, none of us do. Things will work out in the end, i know its no help to you right now but you have to keep believing that xxx