Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

No news here either (also thankfully). except for running to the toilet every 20 mins to check for spotting

Mel, I agree that you ought to be signed off at the moment - hope your welfare officer can help.

Morning everyone. I've managed to calm myself down overnight which is hopefully a good thing. DH was trying to point out that digging my heels in and refusing to go to the appointment may see them invoking disciplinary action against me. He's suggested I go to the appointment and not discuss this with them and that way I'm conforming to their policy so they can't do anything. Welfare officer is making enquiries about it and I've told him that I'm really upset about it all. See what he comes up with. On a nicer note, I'm going out for lunch with my mum and dad and am going to have the most amazing homemade empire biscuit. Can't wait!

Thank you to you all for the nice and friendly welcome. I will totally continue to read, share and hopefully offer support to others xx

Morning!

Well, the last thing you want is disciplinary action (although I'd love to see what an employment tribunal would make of employers disciplining a woman for absence related to miscarriage!), so perhaps your DH is right. Can you take your welfare officer in with you, or someone else sympathetic a moral support? I know that at my work we are allowed to do that in HR meetings. Glad to hear that you're a bit calmer this morning.

One question: what are empire biscuits?

Grr, I have an appt with Sands at 2 o'clock and DH has just ratted on me! I specifically called him before confirming the appt so he could check with work, and he forgot, and so he has to stay at work because just about every other member of his team has taken Friday afternoon off. If he had said that in the first place I wouldn't have made the appt for Friday afternoon! Now I have to go on my own and I don't want to! I can't cancel because we forgot all about the last appt and had to apologise, so I really can't miss this one too.

ciwi Im ok, still a little sad but then again hopefull that this coming cycle is the one. Im a little stressed though really as Im tired of being at my parents house. Tensions are high, fx that Im out in the next month or so. Its so hard to do anything, including swi! They want to know where you are all the time, why you are popping out etc, its like im 16 again. I am extremely grateful they are letting us stay here till our flat is ready but its very draining.

Im also a little nervous about the consultant meeting next week.

mel I think your dh is right, I hope it goes ok.

x posts

hi razz

hey tooimm boys aye they never listen. Mines the same will swear black and blue that I havnt told him stuff. I hope you are relaxing as much as you can not to many trips to the loo.

angel just saw your post, my bbf said the same thing to me last night, she had a cp before she fell pg with her dd. She advised that next time I should take several pg tests in a row to make sure, so will be doing that next time.

Morning all. Feel crappy today, sick and tired still. Not been sick but feel it. Had a weird upper back pain too. wondering if I have a urine infection coming as I had +1 white blood cells in my urine when I went to the hospital.

Mel I'd also be totally honest on the form, overly so, and hope they take the hint. Can't believe they're treating y ou like that.

Razz welcome, sorry to hear about your little boy :(

green glad you're being spoilt, hope things aren't too bad for you.

Too hope your appointment goes well at SANDS, is it for counselling? DH had his first yesterday through the gp and he got through it.

Green, FX for new flat, consultant appt and most importantly, new BFP next month!

Cheese, sorry that you're feeling crappy, hope you haven't got an urinary infection! I've only felt queasy intermittently so far, but have backache a lot (lower backache). The joys! Are you usually sick in pregnancy? I wasn't last time - felt queasy, sometimes very queasy, in the first 12 weeks but never threw up.

It's the Befriending service - meetings with a woman who has lost a baby (twins, actually), which is supposed to make you feel less alone. She's also a counsellor, but I don't think you have to be a counsellor to be a Befriender. I'm not sure I actually get as much out of it as I do just talking on here, but it's only the second meeting so will give it a fair trial.

Glad to hear your DH is going for counselling - hope it helps! Mine has just started counselling too (through work) and he seems to be getting a lot out of it. I think it's because he doesn't usually let himself go and say what he's feeling. He's cutting down on the anti-depressants because he read online that they can cause sexual dysfunction, though . If he thought he wasn't depressed any more, well and good, but he doesn't think that, he's just worried he won't be able to perform! I pointed out that he hasn't had any problems fathering another child but he wasn't convinced. Men, eh?

Morning all,
mel glad you feel a bit better this morning, enjoy your lunch x
green hope your flat is ready soon, it must be really difficult living with your parents. Good luck for the consultant appointment x
cheese Hope you don't have an infection. Are you feeling crappy in a good pg way?
too hope your appointment helps, do you have a scan date yet?
I feel ok today, a bit sickly but nothing major, I am a bit worried because last week I felt really sickly and this week it's much better, I still have really sore boobs, weeing all the time and feel tired so I hope I am just lucky with the sickness and it doesnt mean that something is wrong, can't help worrying and stressing x

Too Ah the befriending service sounds really good, hadn't heard of it before. Hope it goes well! I'm not usually sick in pregnancy, only feel sick. Haven't felt it much until recently though, maybe hormones kicking in more.

My dh had his dose upped to 30mg, started on 20, and he's been on them for about 6ish weeks now. They have caused him a few, erm, side effects but dyfunction wasn't one! Well, they're making him really "in the mood", pretty much all the time. Haven't affected his ability but the new problem is that he can only do it with me (and not alone..., kind of frustrating I think for him as I'm not in the mood much at all!). Definitely no problems performing though. He didn't mention this to the dr lol.

ciwi Yes, crappy in a good way :) dull headache too etc. My boobs aren't sore at all, but weeing lots also sickness comes and goes. I seem worse in the evenings!

Had my first migraine a couple of days ago too, it was very strange, had the aura and a bit of pain but mainly aura. Lasted about half an hour then went leaving me with headache the rest of the day. Felt strange.

Empire biscuits also known as double biscuits, (2 biscuits stuck together with jam and covered in icing with a cherry on top)! The one I'm planning on having is the most incredible I've ever had!

Hope everyone's sick feeling settles down soon. The queasy feeling is rubbish x

Oh, those things! Thanks Mel! Never knew they were called empire biscuits, but agree that they are yummy.

Okay, am also feeling crappy but in a different way to Cheese. Am mortified by this, but hey, who said pregnancy was dignified? It would seem that I do not get morning sickness in early pregnancy, nooo. Apparently I get the runs instead. Have had diarrhoea last night and then 4 times today and I have suddenly remembered that the same thing happened last time. It went away after the first trimester, I think. I am quite annoyed because I am probably getting just as dehydrated as someone who had thrown up 4 times but it is not exactly a socially acceptable symptom! Yesterday I ate toast and butter, orange juice, ham and mushroom pizza and garlic bread. Today I had bread and butter, a smoked salmon sandwich and a chipper. None of that should upset my stomach!

tooimm snap, I get the same symptoms, I did early last month and also when I was pg with Ophelia. it is especially when DH would comment every time!

Huh! How come it's not mentioned in fricking What To Expect When You're Expecting? I thought I had Crohn's disease (Dad has it) the last time, but assumed that there was nothing to be done about it during pregnancy.

I know tell me about it, I thought I had IBS. My other symptom is terrible acne. I never get this usually I have really nice skin never had a problem when I was a teen and then when pg out they come. It sucks! I guess pg is full of

Lol.....I had the runs in early pregnancy as well as sickness so ended up very dehydrated on a drip in hospital.......still desperate to do it all again though!!!
Could I ask you all, I have had a cd21 progesterone done that has come back at 47 but I never observed any signs of ovulation (mucus and so on). Had also been having tracking scans though they never really managed to get a veiw of left side. Can levels be 47 BEFORE ovulation???

razz sorry I dont know the answer to your question. Sorry cant be of help. Do you use ovulation tests?

Im feeling a bit down today, like its never going to happen for us.

Hi green, so no how you feel. Like you I have had chemical pregnancies (4 to be exact) and it is so very cruel. To have the excitment of a positive test only to have it quickly snatched away........another month of trying!!
I am not able to use ovulation tests as I have pcos which means I just about always have a raised result due to constant high LH levels.
Try to keep positive......it will happen for you I am sure.

fx crossed for us all razz I think after what we have been through we deserve some happiness in a bfp and healthy pregnancy with a good outcome at least once. Sometimes I just get bogged down thinking of all those people who just fall pg looking at a guy and really couldnt care less about their children, it makes me so sad, that I couldnt of given taht love to my little girl.

But we have to pick ourselves up and move on and try again, untill we can try no more.
Im sure it willhappen for us, this thread is lucky Im sure of it, we have so many bfp's already.

Hi girls, hope everyone is well.

green and mel how are you both?

I am pretty sure we managed to dtd around ovulation (tmi but we were swi everday, sometimes more!) I am so glad DF work plan changed, he actually threw a sickie to stay at home . Time will tell if it has worked i suppose im on CD 17.......

hey jane Im doing ok I guess getting there just wating for ovulation and it to start over again.

Fx crossed this is your month jane hoping that bean is already there!

Razz, I don't know either, I'm sorry, but hopefully someone else will be along soon who does.

Green, chin up, honey - it will happen! I know it's hard when you see people who don't seem to appreciate how lucky they are, but we'll all get there eventually. FX for you.

Jane, this will be your month! How long are your cycles normally? Also hoping that bean is already there!

Hi girls, Jane I'm doing ok. Still nothing happening yet so scan on Monday and then next step discussion.

Apparently work were only wanting to know my ability to participate in a physical training course! Still think I'm going to look into putting in a grievance about their method of dealing with this.

Sorry Razz don't know the answer either.

And Green try and keep your chin up and think about all the fun we're going to have next ovulation time!!!